Memories of Ricky :: Ode to a Fallen Warrior

I have never met Rick when he was alive but I have spent the last 5 or 6 days reading and researching everything that I could about him. I am truly at a loss of words. Like so many others who have posted on here, I too have not had the best of childhoods and cannot even bring myself to compare mine to his; however it saddens me to see a person of such beauty and strength inside and out so destroyed by pure insanity. I do not blame Rick for any thing that he did. I believe that if anyone had more cause to commit such acts it was probably him. what I can't understand is how and why he allowed himself to be so consumed by his problems when it is clearly obvious to me that God, who is in my opinion the literal manifestation of absolute love that is experienced and shared by ourselves and the others around us, had blessed him and given him so much of itself to do greater things in the world. With every article that I have read of him or from him I could envision a myriad of things he could have done to help those who are still searching for that love and support given to him but will never find it. But that is a great burden to have. It is said that to those who are given much, much is expected and I am sure that must have weighed heavily on him. I do not know what goes on in the afterlife or even if there is an afterlife. And like him the thought of this life going on is as scary a thought as facing the future, but it must happen. I do not believe in hell nor really in heaven and neither in a purgatory but whatever there is I hope that he received relief and that in this life those who knew him can receive peace in the memories had of him. In his video Rick stated that the world was somewhat like an army where there are medics, special opts and generals. Rick saw himself as a vigilante. There are many who accuse Rick of being some sort of demon possessed mad man. I have come to see Rick as a modern day samurai, a warrior who died a victorious death at his own hands on the battle field.

When a friend of mine was murdered about a year ago I remember someone sending him off with a bottle of fine vodka. Or maybe that's what I wanted to do. But here's a bottle of good vodka to Rick! Peace is with you.