Eulogies :: Rick’s Serene Immortality

It has been like a dream that vanished in the morning light.

I remember it was a beautiful day in May, Rick and I were living in Luton, England at the time. Rick loved greenery and we’d go down to the park a couple times a week. Everything was turning green and colorful. A small pond that had birds and ducks surrounding it centered the park. We stopped at a green patch of grass under some trees and as I was sitting down, he turned around and in his hand he was holding a gorgeous ring in a velvet box. He told me how much he loved me and asked me to marry him. I remember being so happy, I jumped on him and we laughed and kissed. We got married two years later May 23, 2001.

When I’m asked to describe Rick, I find it hard to describe him in words that suffice to represent the man I loved, honored and respected. From the moment I first laid eyes on him when I was 16, to the last moments I spoke to him on the phone, he represented life to me.

He was a great husband and best friend. When we would go out together, I had no cares in this world, he would open doors for me, make sure I was warm, he was always conscious of what was going on around us. He was extremely affectionate, always wanted to hold my hand or have his arm around my shoulder, I felt so safe in his arms.

Rick has so many strengths despite the pain; he was a genius in so many ways, always one step ahead of everyone. He had an amazing ability to learn and absorb knowledge.

He had a couple of hobbies, but his favorite by far was Martial Arts. He loved the outdoors, hiking, biking, jogging or anything that permitted him to be outside. He was always conscious of his physical fitness, and his diets and workouts centered about that. He’d make protein shakes to take to work, and we hardly ever ate at fast food restaurants. He loved pizza, and I remember a couple times he’d tell me he had to stop eating so much, because he felt he was gaining weight. So he’d cut back on his pizza eating but once he got back to the weight he wanted, he’d always go back to his pizza.

Starting a new life together was one of the happiest moments of our lives; we got married alone, away from everything and everyone. But as the saying goes, “you can never run away from your past”, our past caught up with us and shortly everything would change again.

Rick always taught me that I should never hide, that I should always face my fears and he more then anyone I’ve known proved to be capable of doing just that, realizing he would have to pay the ultimate price.

When he left to San Diego, a part of me was gone. It was hard for me, but I knew in my heart that he had to find answers and it was path he would never be able to share with anyone.

It has been 10 years since the day I first met Rick. What a life and what a story! The love he had, and the love he shared has changed my life forever. I realize now that only love is real, everything else is just an illusion. When the book of your life is closed, the one thing you will be remembered for is love.

The morning Rick died, eeriness filled the world that surrounded me. Outside a think layer of snow had covered the ground and a serene silence filled the air. A feeling of peace covered my body. A knowledge that what Rick has been searching for now for 30 years, he had finally found—utter peace. I knew he would never feel pain again, no one would ever be able to hurt him. He was alright! It was actually the only day it snowed this winter in Washington State, making the memory that much more unforgettable. Life in a way had cast a veil of peace; the darkness had been taken away, replaced with the purity of snow.

For Rick: Baby, I have always loved you and you know that. Living life without you has not been easy, but you gave me the gift of life and a chance at living and I will try my best to honor that.

You will never be forgotten.

xx! Elixcia