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i was not sexually abused growing up. i was not provided a secular education (ie. school, where books are read and math, reading, writing, etc.. are taught). i was not allowed to watch tv, or eat anything containing white sugar. i lived in houses with many other families, and i was often spanked, slapped, or punished for offenses such as "murmuring", "being familiar", "doubting", "talking back", "pride", "selfishness", "being cool", and other similar offenses. i never had a room to myself. i shared rooms with adults and children of all ages. from the ages of 13 to 19 i sold posters, tapes, CDs, and DVDs. i told people that the money was going to help orphanages, and social projects, but the money actually went to pay the bills of the houses where many families and i lived. when i was 19 i asked a leader in the group how i could be more of a missionary. he told me that i was doing the ultimate job a missionary could possibly do. i didn't like my job so i left the group. i have many friends still in the group and i am happy for the ones that believe in what they do. i hold no ill will towards those who helped raise me. it was life. mine was the way it was and nothing will ever change it. i now decide what direction my future will steer.
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