Corporal trash, June 19, 2004, 00:15
Da Boredom Monster
I've been silent for far too long, it's time for another pail of verbal diahrrea. Life in the army, the straight, sober life, it's really overrated. My quest for the Real Life, looking for it in the party scene and then getting bored with it & then on to army life has shown me man's biggest problem has always been boredom. If you are not one of those exceptional individuals who can naturally appreciate the sublime pleasures in life, you quickly get bored with what entertains you. I won't get into the whole what's-the-meaning-of-life debate, but in the army you taste boredom, in all of it's grey, vague forms. It's a faithful friend who is always there, but don't think of him too much or you'll go crazy.

The Italian army had the draft until they were replaced by volunteers recently. Italian parents with rebellious teenagers waited for the day that blue slip would arrive in the post, "the army will set your head straight" they told the sulking boy who had just finished 13 years of prison (school) only had had in those 13 years, a glimpse of freedom. The army was another 10 months of prison, that should prepare him for life, they thought. What did the kid learn in the army? He learned how to enter the cycle of the underdog-topdog, getting picked on and then doing the same to the new rookies. He learned what it is like to have someone have total control over him. He learned to be normal, because the odd guys are the ones that get picked on most. Most of all, he learned what boredom means, what it means to be on guard duty for 17 hours, all of which spent sitting on a stool in a hallway, staring at the walls. This is a school of life, they told him, don't try and think you know better, it's been like this for 100 years, who are you, you little insolent pup to dare and question things? Sure, he also learned plenty fun things which fascinate boys: firing a rifle, throwing a hand grenade, learning what a mortar is, these interesting thing he could have learned all in a day, being the young, smart man he was. Once basic training was over, the patriotic gleam of the army started to wear off, and the nameless, faceless passive monster of boredom came 'round, no hiding from him.

Maybe he is just complaining though, maybe he always expected too much from life from the start. Maybe he is just didn't get what everyone else got. Perhaps 13 years of school haven't trained his soul enough to the claustrophobic halls of learning, and then work. Point taken, there are good people here, plenty good oaks, just as bored as him. He starts making a net division in his mind between the people and the machine, the institution, that abstract entity called a 'nation-state' which he is serving now. To this one particular boy, this concept of a nation-state does not register. He sees this wild scramble for an identity with a nation as a cop-out from what people really strive for: the path toward self-awareness, toward understanding oneself, choosing a coloured flag to follow or a soccer team to be a fan of is not true knowledge of one's identity. I am Italian, I am an Inter fan, does that really fell me anything about me? Who are YOU? Stripped of all these illusions, the only thing one can truly say about oneself is two words, I am. From these two simple words starts the path of knowing yourself. No matter how much the army and marketing research would like to have you boxed and categorized into a distinct personality-type or social type, the question still lingers. The question you could easily forget with amusements and friends or in the loving arms of a caring sweetheart, now comes back, riding on boredom, written on the grey walls around you, inescapable, it comes in a million lines of thought: WHO AM I?

When not plagued by runaway trains of thought, his other escape valve is getting into mischief, nothing excited him more than a pompous lieutenant whose lowly official rank had gone to his head. Or some some corporal talking to him about patriotism. He found it hard to keep from laughing, "Does this guy actually believe what he's talking about?", he thought, "you go die for that piece of coloured cloth, you silly thing!", oops, he had actually said that aloud! Oh, what the hell, since I'm at it I might as well go all the way, "You know what they say about Italians around the world? They say that they're tanned on their underarms from constantly surrendering, pretty damn funny, eh?". He got 3 days barrack confinement for that little outburst, but the look on the lieutenant's face was priceless.

..But he can't just forget partying either, whenever a 36 hour leave is granted, you may find this boy in party-animal mode, perhaps on top of some mountain 300km away from home, attending a rave and being the last one to stop dancing. Or perhaps attending a Stop The Drug War protest hours before  (reply to this post)

Corporal Ph.B, June 23, 2004, 01:16
Part 2
The whole top-dog thing also baffled this boy. He didn't care to bully or be bullied, what pleasure is there to be derived from another's distress? Why not break the cycle instead of continuing it? The grandpas, the boys who had been there longer than him tried to get him a few times, or ordered him to run errands for them, but they didn't expect his reaction. When his mild-mannered ways were mistaken for weakness they often never knew what hit them: nothing works like pinning someone to the wall by their throat till their skin turns a shade of blue or hurling a disrespectful corporal down a stairway to earn some respect, sometimes words just aren't enough. Telling that proud lieutenant that he was half a man because he hid behind his rank was pushing it though.

In his battalion there seemed to be a collective consciousness between the soldiers, like birds flying in formation, except this mental ability was somehow stuck on the mischief frequency. Everyone just got the same great idea at the same time. At the daily flag-raising ceremony, all were supposed to sing the national anthem while the flag was hoisted on it's pole. "Sure, we'll sing it, but says who we know how to sing on key, we're soldiers, not choirboys?". The result was 100 people singing deliberately off-key and at different tempos, not even the colonel could keep a straight face, but he had them marched into church that day, for a little moral indoctrination. Another time, at PE, they were all ordered to jog behind the lieutenant, who was itching to show his superior sport abilities. Well, since they were all behind him, nothing prevented them all to sneak off down alleyways and side streets in a matter of seconds, leaving the toned, muscular lieutenant alone. He was so self-absorbed, it took him a while to notice that no one was running behind him: oops, reality-check!

The drugs of choice for the serious soldier were cigarettes and weed, you could find people smoking in the morning till late into the night. The boy couldn't really find solace in weed in a place like that, he could maybe imagine eating a gram of opium and nodding off for a day would be a far better drug there, but he prefers to keep drugs to fun and not use them as a crutch to "help" him bear the dreary life. Actually he had hoped that the exciting, fast-paced life of the army would make him forget that part of his life, but what a fool he was for having believed the army propaganda as a kid. Oh well, no use of crying over spilt milk, might as well enjoy a year with absolutely no responsibility and see the humor of army life. Sometimes his crazy side would come out, more often than not. People would find him telling a guard in total honesty about a secret society run by homosexual chaplains and officials, with initiation rituals involving the sacrifice of stray cats and anal sex orgies. There was a fat oke who would pace up and down the hallway after lights out burping and farting deliberately, I wonder how he managed that every night. He bowed in adoration before this rough farm boy and proclaimed with a loud voice: " Oh, i adore thee, supreme mother earth, in whose womb all living things were made, and to whom all return at death!". Mother earth really didn't know what of make of this adoration, but half the barracks heard it and since then the fat farm boy has been renamed Mother Earth.
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Joe H, June 21, 2004, 18:38
Good to have you back, Pharmaboy!
Jules, can we add the thumbs-up feature to posts?
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Jerseygirl, June 22, 2004, 12:31
New Fan Club
Hell yeah!!! and while we're at it why not for the pics as well--as in PHEONIXKIDD is so owning hot right now!!!!!
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blank, June 22, 2004, 14:30
ideas
Can we add a thumbing our nose feature too? Or at least a rating for 1-5 "?????" s. 1 for "understand," 5 for "don't understand," and an additional option to vote it into the Obscurity Club (not referring to Jerzee's post).
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Jerseygirl, May 19, 2004, 11:47
Where in the World is Sonderval?
Happy Birthday! I hope you will find time to post some more of your intelligent and abundant thoughts and ramblings in the future. Best of luck to ya.  (reply to this post)

Anthony, June 1, 2004, 15:59
New Search.
Jers, you should be more concerned in finding out where the hell Anthony has been and why he rarely participates on this site.
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Amen, June 2, 2004, 10:58
Right-O
For the Lord thine Anthony is a jealous God and thou shalt have no other Gods before him!
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Anthony, June 3, 2004, 10:38
No Gods.
I'm not jealous, and unlike any god or gods, I am real, so is the ____ in my hand.

Thanks for the email Jers.
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Slow, June 11, 2004, 07:17
Clarification
What is that in thine hand?
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sarafina, May 18, 2004, 21:49
Q to Jules
Speaking of pictures do you have any idea when the server will be fixed to load new pictures? I would love to see some new ones put up. I know a few people who want to add one to their profiles who don't have any up yet. =)
I know you are very busy so no hurry I was just wondering how long.  (reply to this post)

Joe H, April 16, 2004, 11:46
Thoughts on recent photos - Pt. 2
Elle, get the baboon out from between your legs. If you have crab lice, go see a doctor for God's sake!

Ana West, what happened to you? You used to be so hot! I think you need to get out of Texas immediately - you're becoming one!

Sassy, everyone's sick of seeing photos of your baby. Yes, he's adorable, but most of us don't know you or him, so why should we care?

Loch, your stupid caricature is disturbingly derivative of the artists who only got to draw 2% of the True Comics, yet burned a hole in my psyche nonetheless. You and the person who drew it need to get prayer immediately.

Re: Photos of people from the back (Elle, pharmaboy, you know who you are) - is this just the most incredible waste of bandwith or what? Are you God that you must only allow us to see your feet? Stop wasting my time and Jules server space!

PS Elle, I thought horses only laid down when they're sick and dying.

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Ana West, April 19, 2004, 11:05
Hummm ....
I think you're right Nick!
For one, I don't post my pics for JOE's ratings.

I am here to look for old friends who used to know me in my miserable state of being a teen in the Family.
For me I am happy with who I am and what I look like, if you don't like it that's not my problem! BTW how would you like it if people were posting stuff such as "What happened to you? I remember you as an adorable cute "boy" in Mexico, look at you now?" I mean let's stoop low.

Oh well, like I said earlier I am happy with who I am, you don't like it? Oh well that's cool, I don't care!

Have an awesome week! :))

Enjoy life its too short! And as far as Sassy posting pictures of her kids, I think that's just great!

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Ana West, April 19, 2004, 13:37
hummmm
You're too kind, (BTW who is your roommate?)

The lighting definitely is off and the kids were taking it with the webcam (they were having fun), and they are recent pics so I stuck them on there!

Its all just for fun!

Hope you're doing well! :))
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sarafina, April 19, 2004, 11:53
It's not you its just the lighting
In all honestly I think it's just a bad picture due to the lighting and angle Ana. Cause my roommate used to live with you and said you are so Hot in person and that she thinks its really just bad lighting. It's just hard taking good pics of yourself with a web cam. The point being those who know you know your hot and those who don't know you..well doesn't really matter what they think. =)
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Nick, April 19, 2004, 10:39
WTF???
What a fucking mean thing to say Joe. The more I read your comments and posts the more I realize that you are one of those people that have low self esteem and it some how boosts your ego to bash others. You have no real life experience or any true self beliefs and gather all your views and opinions from text books and what you read somewhere.

I think Anna looks great and has improved her looks since growing out of her teens. (Not that she was bad looking back then.) And what’s wrong with looking like a Texan? Ask anyone that’s lived around here and they will tell you that Texas has some of the hottest chicks in the US.

Who cares if Sassy wants to show her son. I mean we had to look at all your faggy looking pic's when you posted them and I really don't think that in the grand scheme of things Jules will mind a few extra pic's on her server.

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Joe H, April 19, 2004, 12:32
Yawn!
Well this is original! Let's see, Joe has low self-esteem and looks like a fag. Ouch! You sure you don't want to throw in the old standby about how I never get laid and I'm a closet homosexual? And here I thought British people were supposed to be witty!
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Graduate, April 18, 2004, 12:39
Pretentious People Suck
What is this? The high school year book committee? Thanks for the commentary but who cares what pictures get posted by anyone else?
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Elle, April 18, 2004, 11:14
How ellequently put, Joe!
Well Joe, maybe I should take it as a compliment that you are having an Elle-day but tell me something, how come you're so much cockier offline than online?

When it comes horses, if you had any experience you would know what roughneck so nicely pointed out to you but riding seems to be something you prefer to do on your own which probably isn't a choice at all and might be the reason the foul mood of yours. Ana West not being hot enough? Lol, look who's talking!

As for the monkey, gee honey, did my pet really scare you or was it just the hairy legs that freaked you out? (or oh, you saw the picture and thought it was a threesome!) Oh well, picture removed - we don't want to scare the little children now do we? (so joey, it's ok, you can come out now...)

Why don't you just quit bitching Joe and post a nice picture of yourself in contrast to what you presently have in your profile? I don't think we chicks are all in awe and amazement of your "supporting the troops" picture or "hey I'm not in the mood for any bs" which mostly give us the feeling that you've been staring at yourself in the mirror for too long. Try something more positive next time honey - a nice personality usually makes up for what you lack in the esthetic department, but then again, you'll never know if you never try...
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roughneck, April 18, 2004, 09:59
Thoughts on JoeH's post
Gee Joe, where's your freakin' blue ribbon now? Myself, I thought the monkeys were kinda cute (I don't have the "Big Lie" prejudice against primates anymore). Don't you think the crab lice crack was maybe just a wee bit out of line? I mean, your collection of pictorial postings isn't exactly out of the Louvre if you know what I mean.
For the chief resident Grammar Nazi, this sentence: I think you need to get out of Texas immediately - you're becoming one! - doesn't make much sense.. Of course I know you meant "becoming one" in TF's sense of the phrase, but to the rest of the english-speaking universe it would appear that you are shaming her for becoming a Texas. Tsk, tsk. Use quotation marks as necessary next time. :)
I'm kinda biased about Sassy posting pics of her baby, as the baby in question is my son. That being out of the way, I'm not going to say anything additional about this, aside from displaying a big thumbs down to your comment that Sassy should refrain from posting what she wants. Why should you care? - that's a good question. Nobody's tied you to a chair, taped your eyelids open and subjected you to hour after screaming hour of baby pictures interspersed with photos of the animal kingdom and Eman Artist/Tamar-esque TK art stylings. At least I hope nobody has. :) Don't like? Don't click! That's what the preview thumbnail is for - It's as simple as that.
Now I know that every loyal Vandari on this site has a hate-on for Loch's perceived Family-friendliness, but c'mon, at least the caricature in question was of her, and not 5 pics of someone else's sidewalk art (I know you were trying to make a point to True with those, but I mention it seeing as how you're apparently setting yourself up as an example). Who appointed Mighty Joe H as the Grand High Poo-Bah And Arbiter of All Things Tasteful anyway?
Now I really don't know what your issue is with photos from behind (some would make the argument [of course not me, as I have no printable opinion of either your face *or* behind ;)] that they've seen quite enough of your face, and might appreciate the change :) Oh, and it isn't an incredible waste of bandwidth either, as said bandwidth is really only used when someone actually accesses the content (aside from the initial upload b/width). Being as how movingon isn't the million-subscriber Slashdot, I really doubt that a couple lousy scaled down JPEGs are going to be straining the hell out of the bandwidth allotment. To reiterate, nobody but you wastes your time. Notice a picture you don't like? Don't waste your time clicking on it, capische? Now, if Jules wants to make an issue of the server space such items take up, I might be inclined to listen a little more closely. In the meantime, kindly bitch about something a little more meaningful than other site participants' free speech & freedom of expression.
Oh, and horses will lay down quite often without being ill (much less dying), just in case you were actually interested.




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Jerseygirl, April 19, 2004, 09:34
"We're not in Kansas anymore"
For someone who is generally pretty cool, you've taken this whole thing a little too far. Maybe a couple lines of healthy and witty sarcasm would have sufficed. (We all know Joe is a crackhead anyways, no need to get all worked up over it.) That said, I think the original post was hilarious, good work Joe. In fact, I think it would be even funnier to have a new section entitled "TYJ we can now use products and buy our own clothes" and people can post old family pics of themselves (and others) so we can all laugh about it. After all, everyone knows that we are ALL amazingly cool now so there should be no hard feelings. Unless you are in fact just plain old homely, still no shame in that!
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Elle, April 18, 2004, 10:48
in agreement
Thanks roughneck and well put! Me needs not add a single thing!
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sarafina, April 16, 2004, 15:12
In addition
I'm sorry but I have to agree with a few of the points Joe has made here because that monkey picture was kinda ugly and creeped me out (sorry Elle), and If I wanted to see pictures of animals or places I can open my National Geographic's. On a similar note could we stop the excessive posting of personal artwork?

Did you ever wonder why you haven't sold any yet or why no ones heard of you? Take a look! This has been one good thing about the upload server on this site not working we've had a nice break from that. When I want to see artwork I can go to a Gallery or website thank you.

I also agree with not posting pictures of your backside. (Unless it's like the one Dani posted of her ass in those jeans! Who could forget that? HOT! Then again I still would have liked to see the face that goes with it) I mean what are we supposed to be looking at? You might as well post a picture of a stranger because we'd never know it was you anyways.

Oh and Joe just so you know that picture of Loch is not a drawing it's created from clicking two little buttons on photo shop under effects called cartoon and warp. You are much cuter as a person Loch; the Looney look doesn't quite suit you.

Now things I'd like to see more of would be close-ups and sexy shots of all you beautiful women on here. For the men some shirtless pictures of your abs would be nice =) If not, your cute smiles and sharp eyes will do just fine. Whatever you chose please make sure the picture is at least in focus, (Are you really that ugly that you have to try re-create the beer goggle look? Sorry, it doesn't work with pictures cause we're not drunk.) Please take them close-up and with enough light so we can see you!
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night_raver, June 3, 2004, 05:46
Ehe, fina
Well I thought the baboons-on-the-truck pic was kinda cute, and suddenly I realise that I haven't seen Dani's pic-of-her-ass -- I remember another of Jules' sisters posted a pic in blue-jean overalls where her face was obscured by her hair, I don't remember which one (and I guess it could be included with the pics-of-yr-ass category, but I thought it was a nicely setup shot). As far as photos of chests, a graduating graphic-design major took a bunch of pics of me in various poses for her portfolio, I would've posted a couple (the tame ones) except that they're pretty large 3MB photos (Hasselblads don't really take much) and Jules wont let us post pics. Maybe a compromise cd be that Jules lets us post a URL to a seperate website (like geocities) where we can post
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roughneck, April 18, 2004, 10:11
not drunk? Solution: Drink! :)
(snip) Sorry, it doesn't work with pictures cause we're not drunk (/snip)
Ah now, there's a problem easily solved! In the immortal words of Homer (Simpson): "To alcohol! The cause of... and solution to all of life's problems!" j/k :)

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sarafina, April 19, 2004, 09:25
Homer was right!
That Homer Simpson is one smart guy. I took his advice this weekend and solved a whole lot of problems, thanks roughneck ;) Got any more Homer philosophies to share? =)
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sarafina, April 16, 2004, 15:17
oopps
?? What happened to my paragraphs? They were there but when I hit submit it threw everything together. Sorry Grammar people. I know this makes it very difficult to read. Can the editor fix it once its posted?
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Joe H, April 16, 2004, 15:21
Editing
Maybe if you call him on his new cell phone and ask him nicely?
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sarafina, April 20, 2004, 13:01
hugs & kisses
He did. Thank you sweet editor. =)
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Jerseygirl, February 27, 2004, 15:01
Ugly Sexy
Sam Rockwell has got to be the sexiest ugly type guy I've ever seen. I may even have to upgrade him to Colin level in my book.  (reply to this post)

banal_commentator, March 1, 2004, 11:23
Ugly Sexy Part 2
........and Adrien Brody
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banal_commentator, March 2, 2004, 14:26
Ugly Sexy. Part 3
.........and Owen Wilson
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Yes, February 27, 2004, 17:02
Sexy Ugly
And let's not forget Steve Buscemi...:D
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Mydestinyismine, March 1, 2004, 00:43
: )
There's hope for me then.
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