Vicky, September 8, 2004, 14:16
Wolf's Poll
You left out one of the most important atributes I look for, namely knowledge, wit and intellectual ability. I like to be dazzled by a man's mind.

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Vicky, September 8, 2004, 14:19
Dammit!
why oh why do I post when I am dead tired and why do I never remember to proofread???
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Haunted, September 9, 2004, 06:05
Brilliant!
Ahhhhh Vicky - yes indeed, you've hit upon a good one....as for wealth - pleeease! I mean, nice side effect, but if that's what you're going for you're probably gonna be highly dissapointed on all the other topics.
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Vicky, September 9, 2004, 06:30
you're right!
I'd like my own money, thank you very much... Nothing more offensive to me (today, anyway) than the notion that a woman would consciously let herself be bought with nothing but cold hard cash. Ugh!!!

But, the poll did say what do we look for in a man, which is a very broad question. I suppose if I were only looking for a good time, a wealthy man would be able to provide more of the finer things in life. Nothing wrong with liking a bit of luxury. But for anything more than a fling money would play absolutely no part in my conscious decision process.

Oh, and another important thing is ambition, by which I mean drive and determination, someone who expects the utmost of himself and strives for excellence in some way.


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, September 6, 2004, 08:35
Freaking wierd
I went to the library this afternoon to get some picture books and videos for the kids i was babysitting and what do i find but a shelf with the entire set of Treasure Attics... it was soooo wierd cuz i live in this out of the way place and it was one of the smallest libraries in town.
Its wierd how they get around  (reply to this post)

Haunted, August 30, 2004, 07:11
Mixza's New Poll
The thing about this poll is that I don't think I can really choose between the three obvious choices - what if we blame ALL of them???

I blame the leaders(duh), the individuals who abused me AND my parents for joining a cult and standing by doing nothing while I was abused!

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Mixza, August 30, 2004, 19:10
WHO DO YOU BLAME MOST ?
yeah, good point...I thought about including an ALL OF THE ABOVE choice, but what I really wanted to ask was WHO DO YOU BLAME MOST i.e. if you had to point the finger at one person who is ultimately responsible, who would you be pointing at??

I figured that if there was an ALL OF THE ABOVE section, we wouldnt get much variety...

I guess I should have thought harder about the wording...

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Haunted, August 31, 2004, 05:53
Complexity of the Poll Question...
No, I get your point, I guess it's just an extreemly complex question/issue.

I can't honestly say I know how to answer it. However, kudos on the thought-provoking question - I'm sure it would make an excellent post/article which would inspire large numbers of debates and interesting comments...
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Haunted, August 17, 2004, 07:42
Close encounters of the Cultie Kind
OK, so I need to rant about this - my in-laws (who still have connections with the fam) visited me last weekend. Then, yesterday I get a call from some dude from "Activated Ministries" - I was so flabbergasted I could barely talk to him - he gives me his phone number after much pressure and I promised to pass it along as he was returning a call from over the weekend.

First off, I had to "out" him right away - so I confronted him with "oh, you're calling from the Family" - and he had the balls to say, "no Mam, Activated Ministries". I gave up at that point and just took the message before I went ballistic on him...

Afterwards, my hubby and I had a blast thinking of all the funny prank calls that we could make.....

In the end, I'm just left with this weird creepy feeling.....  (reply to this post)

TMAI, August 17, 2004, 14:28
Tell me about it
I called your sister-in-law and someone picked up the phone and for a second I freaked thinking I dialed the wrong number -- the person sounded just like my mom or another Family person. Then I found out it was your sister-in-law's mom. How does that happen?? Do they get voice coaching??
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in a rage & dangerous, July 27, 2004, 08:33
--
This blankness of the army has got to stop, I've been in here 3 three weeks since my last leave, and I fear I'm going to get into big trouble soon, I already have gotten into trouble again.

I went out with a fellow from my company, and it turns out he wanted to go to a strip joint that evening, it was the worst thing I could have done. After the show we both were so horny we spent 4 hours looking for hookers around Rome, all we found was an ugly transvestite which neither of us could bring ourselves to shag. We got back to barracks frustrated, mad as hornets and 5 hours past lockup, on monday I got 7 days punishment for that escapade.

What I hate most here is the pettyness that runs wild, the officials drunk on their own power, totally out of touch with reality: it seems the higher you go the more out or touch you get. FUCK, FUCK, FUCK!! I hate the fucking draft, it's like a year long prison sentence to serve in the best year of your life. I can't stand the idea of someone else having total control of life or death over me, it's a suffocating, helpless feel to it, which I do not tollerate. I've been beaten down as a child in an extremist christian cult with severe corporal punishment to be able to tollerate this. Other joke and chat with the company and platoon commanders, I hate them, how can you be friends your slave driver? And your hands are tied here, you can't talk back, you can't fight with your hands, you just have to say "yessir", while they take away your freedom as a man and spit in the face of mother nature. In their own megalomania they think themselves superior to her, to the earth, to things which are far more ancient than this stupid nation-state and it's pathetic laws made by cowards for cowards. I hope some natural disaster comes and blows it all away. I would not defend my country, I'm not even italian, I'd laugh at seeing it's destruction.

NO!!! NO!! NEVER!!! I HATE YOU ALL!! FUCK! AGHHHH!

I made a cartoon of a picture of my company and platoon commanders together, telling each other how much they love each other and hung it up in the barrack bar. Someone from my own company saw me do it, a fellow corporal, and had the nerve to pull it down and report me to the commander. Now I'm in shit, but I don't give a fuck, I'm going to beat the shit out of the guy who rated me out, and tell the commander he lacks a sense of humor. I want trouble because anything beats the grey nothingness to this life here, we do nothing all day long, i'm going fucking mad, and I can't believe somone I trusted would rat me out like that, afterI was slowly starting to trust people again. well, fuck this, I want a fight, I want blood, I want pain, I want to live life, I want to act. I want to exhaust myself till I can't think anymore, till all I can do is lie flat on the ground and giggle stupidly. I want to set fire to rome and watch it's old traditions burn.

I'm so fucking tired of my own egocentrism, sick of being out of place sick of being sick, everyone else is pathetic and so am I, where does it end, where do I find peace? I want to be alone but I don't want to be alone. I should to be puniished, beaten, and then maybe I'd feel sorry, or maybe I'd just get angrier. I am anti everything, I hate it all, will I ever be able to change and start to say yes to the beauty of life....

You're just unthankful and negative theat's your problem, you knowitall wanker. The only way to truly feel strong for you is to go out and look for phyisical hardship, the kind you looked for and never found in the army, starve yourself live like a bum, that's what you deserve . Now shut up be happy.
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dan, July 31, 2004, 00:03
find a hobby.
dude, I've done this millitary thing and the only way out is to find something in which you can excell and that takes up all your time. try out for the special forces or do something. being in the run of the mill inffantry will kill you faster than a tour to iraq. you guys aren't out here but you are in afghanistan. go out there visit another country. it's not so bad and you don't have to deal wit hhalf of the bullshit. get out of the barracks and do something productive.

you can waste a year or you can gain a skill out of all this. it seems hard at first but there is always something else you can be doing. there are other ways. if you like to fight; join a dojo. thta can take up hours a day and leave you exausted in the end. get a life out of the millitary. dude, go to boxing club or jujuistu place and tell the guy you need two hours of pain and summering to stay alive. they will help you.

dan out
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pharmaboy, August 2, 2004, 02:54
Update

The prank I pulled got passed from my company commander to the battalion commander, and then to the general, even thought I tried to personally apologize my lieutenant and even suggested we have a duel to settle the offense. At this point I was looking at a possible court martial for insubordination and offense of character. So I did what others had done to get off the hook: I went to the slimly homosexual chaplain and played the whole "I'm so sorry" thing, the priest managed to get them to drop the charges and all I got was ten days barrack confinement. Now this sick priest keeps reminding me it was that slut of the holy virgin Mary who saved me and that Jesus wants me to eat him and a whole lot of other codshit that I pretended to take to heart all the while fantasizing about pinning the smelly priest to the wall and strangling him. Use religion, don't let it use you.

I told the oke who rated on me, since I can't touch him without facing serious consequences, that he has proved himself a coward and should go home to mommy & that he is not worthy to speak to me ever again.

As a whole a learned a lot about people, and I won't make some mistakes like that again. Now that eyes are on me, waiting for me to step out of line, I march my platoon smartly hold me head high keep a faint smile on my face, smiling ironically at the megalomania displayed everywhere, which is really a mask for the insecurity problems many have here , even officials and marshals. I too, have my demons to face and issues to deal with, I have serious problems with any sort of sentimental relationships and don't think I'll get close to somebody in the near future at least because of it, but I'll never use a subordinate as an escape valve, or satisfy a flailing ego at the expense of others.

All is well that ends well that ends well I guess, I've started jogging again and in September I'll try and find a Thai box gym in Rome, the only sport I ever really cared to do on a competitive level. It's a tough, solitary sport, and suits me perfectly. Life is good ultimately, and I don't see why it should be taken seriously, we are the only species that laughs, laughter should not be seen as superficiality, as is in the army, it is one of the highest expressions of our intelligence as humans.

Thanks again for the replies, they were much appreciated.

Cheers,
Pharma

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Vicky, August 18, 2004, 06:32
Pharmaboy!
Why oh why am I always missing you in the chatroom??? I've been waiting to chat! Oh well, never mind I guess... : )
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pharmaboy, August 19, 2004, 00:29
chatroom
I'm usually on around 2-4pm CET.
Ciao
PhB
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pharmaboy, August 18, 2004, 23:55
chatroom
I'm usually on around 2-4pm CET.
Ciao
PhB
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Jerseygirl, July 27, 2004, 13:47
Stay away from sharp objects!
Pharmaboy, is this you? It sounds a bit like it.Wish I could help.I really sincerely do.Sometimes I can't say yes to the beauty of life at all! Sometimes I can barely see it, much less accept it or say anything to it. Anyways I don't have a clue what to tell you, I was just very hit by your post today--Im having a real shitty week so far and believe me, the beauty is nowhere to be found right now.Take care man.
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Rage, July 28, 2004, 00:02
--
Thanks for the reply, it's helps to vent things a bit to someone understanding.

It's funny how I have no feelings of guilt or shame for what I did. Concerned mates and officials tell I did something real stupid, but I have difficulty seeing their viewpoint, and i'll have to feign repentance when I get called to the battalion commander. I just don't understand how they can take themselves so seriously, life is absurd, it's hilarious, why take be serious...oops gotta run, i'll continus later...

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anovagrrl, July 27, 2004, 10:01
Just checking
I don't know whose army you're in, soldier, but that load of rage you've just unpacked seems to have a bit more edge to it than the run-of-the-mill boredom, angst and alienation of early adulthood. Have you thought about having a chat with a head shrinker before you go off the deep end and hurt someone who's not officially designated "the enemy"--???
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Rage, July 27, 2004, 23:48
--
Italy is so archaic that me going to an army shrink would get me labelled a mentally unstable person for life, I'd lose my drivers license, have trouble finding a job and I'd never be able to get a firearm. I'm a normally stable, healthy person in an unhealthy enviornment, this actually was admitted by a sociologist who came in for a chat with us and realized we were normal guys responding normally to a bad enviornment. Plus, I've been diagnosed in another country with adult ADD, but in Italy ADD is an unknown disease with no governemnt-approved treatment. Things are so backward and conservative in regards to psychological well-being it's laughable.
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anovagrrl, July 28, 2004, 11:03
Sorry to hear there's no help available
Sounds like you have a fair amount of insight into yourself and your situation, which makes me a little less concerned that you'll go psycho-hosebeast in a matter of hours. If you could survive growing up in TF, no doubt you'll also survive this phase of your life. On the other hand, why should you go on suffering in dysfunctional environments any longer than absolutely necessary? How important is it to you that you get an honorable discharge? Do you have the option of discharge without completing your original service obligation? Life is too short to waste time trying to cope with a situation that makes you so miserable--and, I might add, a situation that other, objective observers have labelled as unhealthy and dysfunctional.
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