Moving On | Choose your lifeMoving On | Choose your life
Safe Passage Foundation - Support to youth raised in high demand organizations


Saturday, January 31, 2009    

Home | New Content | Statistics | Games | FAQs

Getting Through : In Remembrance

Suicide as an acceptable escape???

from Mystic - Thursday, November 07, 2002
accessed 2457 times

Im Memory of J. RIP.

I wanted to write this not only in remembrance to a friend, but also in defense of him in his choice to commit suicide..
My friend, we will call him J, Decided to blow his head off in a local hotel. It’s been almost a month since this has happened and there has been a lot of talk among us friends about his action. Mostly about the “selfish and cowardly” act of suicide.

J was in his 4th year of law school and was excelling! He came from a prominent family and had money. Drove a brand new Lexus, had good-looking women and was always the center of attention. He disappeared for 4 days before the suicide and booked into a hotel. Contacted no one and paid cash so his family couldn’t find him via credit card transactions. The FBI was involved in a search for him and found nothing. He was found by room service the day after he left us. No note was ever found and there was no explanation as to why someone with supposedly so much to live for would do such a thing.

During the weeks after we spent many a night drinking in his honor at his local haunts in his remembrance, however the tone of conversation was in my opinion, WRONG. Although he was loved by all, the general tone was “how selfish. He had it all and life was good for him.” “Why did the dumb fuck go and do that?” I would usually throw back another tequila with the guys and say nothing. However I can’t help but sympathize with the poor sod. .

There comes a time for some people when they just realize that life just isn’t worth living. I am not even talking about severe depression or anything like that. I am talking about just waking up every day and realizing that this is as good as it gets. You one day grow up and see that all those dreams and hopes you had as a child are no closer to reality now as they were back then. Nope, you are never going to be that astranought you thought you would be. Nope, you are not going live on a houseboat in the Caribbean and no, you will never be a damn fighter pilot that you wrote about in 4th grade. Reality sets in and you see that life is just one big disappointment. You are going to continue to go to the office every day and drink beer with the same boring people every weekend.

It really worth trudging through this for the next 50 years just for the sake of it? I believe that J just woke up one day and saw how senseless this all is. He was hurting deep inside and we just didn’t see it.

RIP J.

Reader's comments on this article

Add a new comment on this article

from Christian
Friday, December 31, 2004 - 03:36

Average visitor agreement is 2 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 2 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 2 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 2 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 2 out of 5(Agree/Disagree?)

I realize that life can seem not worth living at sometimes ive never experienced it myself but i can understand it. But a point to remember in suicide that it not only affects you but others what about your parents or friends that love you and will miss you. And besides theres always something worth living for you just have to find it. I dont mean to sound judging or anything about people who commit suicide just sharing some views.

May all those that have left us rest in peace and be remembered


Chris
(reply to this comment)

from Joe H
Monday, April 12, 2004 - 17:02

Average visitor agreement is 3 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 3 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 3 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 3 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 3 out of 5(Agree/Disagree?)

Mystic, maybe you're actually a smart person, but I'm really dumbfounded by how nonsensical this article is. First, you're writing "in defense of [your friend] in his choice to commit suicide." Doesn't that seem a little socially irresponsible? Secondly, this quote is utterly idiotic: "there was no explanation as to why someone with supposedly so much to live for would do such a thing." Yes, there is. It's called depression. Maybe you should go to high school and take some psychology courses, hell, just get some basic education if you really feel that NOTHING in the world can be explained.

You start out by talking about how great life was going for your friend: "He came from a prominent family and had money. Drove a brand new Lexus, had good-looking women and was always the center of attention." Never mind the fact that I don't have any sympathy for depressed rich kids and their angst, this guy clearly doesn't need to have the depressed thoughts that you espouse later: "Nope, you are never going to be that astranought[sic] you thought you would be. Nope, you are not going live on a houseboat in the Caribbean and no, you will never be a damn fighter pilot that you wrote about in 4th grade" Seems like if your friend J wanted to, he could easily live in a houseboat in the Carribean, and with his education and rich parents, getting into fighter pilot or astronaut school would be a lot easier than it would be for your average Joe (no pun intended).

If you're so depressed, why don't you do something about it? Get yourself into therapy or get a change of lifestyle! Don't spread your drivel around the Internet, potentially rationalizing the suicidal thoughts of other people.

PS. Funny you call yourself "Mystic," you sound a lot more like a nihilst or an existentialist to me.
(reply to this comment)

from dillwd
Monday, April 12, 2004 - 01:50

(Agree/Disagree?)

sorry i can't really use this site quite right yet but mystic do you live in us?
(reply to this comment)

From The Pedantic Prick
Monday, April 12, 2004, 16:47

(
Agree/Disagree?)
I don't know about you, but he certainly doesn't live in me!(reply to this comment
From Dismay
Monday, April 12, 2004, 17:37

(
Agree/Disagree?)

The risk of commenting on an old article: it again becomes a target for Joe H...as do you. All is vanity.(reply to this comment

from geo
Monday, August 04, 2003 - 00:39

(Agree/Disagree?)

I thought that was a good article. I think its very easy to criticize people who commit suicide. Its considered cowardly by most people or even selfish but i think theres alot more cowardly things people do with theyre lifes. And selfish? I dont know. I dont think its that great to live your life "unselfishly" for other people, i really think thats mostly perpective as to what our motivations are. Im not simply defending suicide of course theres negative aspects to it. I dont believe though, that its simply a cowardly act, i wouldnt say i have respect for some people who commit suicide becuase i would be misinterpeted but i can say it makes me think. It puts the world in an uncomfortable perspective but a very interesting one.




If you like Shakespeare try Romeo and Juliet, just an enteresting decision about suicide.
(reply to this comment)

from Tankard
Thursday, November 07, 2002 - 14:51

(Agree/Disagree?)
So go top yourself too...
(reply to this comment)
From JoeH
Thursday, November 07, 2002, 18:20

(
Agree/Disagree?)
I agree, I've got to put up with enough shit on this planet already, but I deal with it, and the world doesn't need idiots like you bringing us down, so please, do yourself and the rest of us a favor and put yourself out of your misery, and take your crappy ass out of the gene pool too!(reply to this comment
From Jules
Thursday, November 07, 2002, 21:58

(Agree/Disagree?)
Comments like this never cease to amaze me. You do realise that suicide is a real issue here? A large number of us have lost and come close to losing our friends and siblings. There are neurological reasons for the high rate of depression among those of us who experienced prolonged trauma and severe stress as children. Do you really deal with it Joe, or do you take it out on other people?

Mystic, the great thing about being free is that you get to write your own life story. If working in an office is not your thing, then do something different. Rather than changing your life by ending it, why not move to another city, country, or start a new career? If you want your life to make a difference in the world then what's stopping you? You can volunteer in your community, or start a project to help other people in need. There are young exmembers who are incredibly successful in almost every area from scientists to models. If you want to be a famous actor or actress, why not? Rose McGowan and Joaquin Phoenix were born in the Family. Go live on a houseboat in the Caribbean if that's your dream.

If there's one thing we can be proud of it's that we are survivors. Leaving the Family and starting your life over takes tremendous strength and courage. Don't underestimate yourself.(reply to this comment
From Mystic
Friday, November 08, 2002, 18:34

(Agree/Disagree?)
OK, maybe I took it a little far as to say there is no other way out. However it’s not easy however to start again like you said Jules. Once you put years and years of you life into achieving a goal and then to have it stripped away from you in a matter of months can put you in a place where you feel like there is no other solution.
Some people can do this. They have the support of family or the fact that they got an education when they were younger. Most of us are hear 100 % alone.
(reply to this comment
From Jules
Saturday, November 09, 2002, 09:11

(Agree/Disagree?)
Who said anything about it being easy? If we were the type of people that just wanted easy we would all still be in the Family.
I don’t believe in the "everything happens for a reason" nonsense, sometimes life just throws you a curve ball and you have to deal with it. Getting knocked down sometimes is a part of life, but I do believe that having survived this far, we have coping skills that most people don’t have access to. I totally understand how hard it is to do it alone. I’m there too. We have no safety net and only ourselves to depend on. Yes it’s hard, but it also gives you a drive and an edge that a lot of other people just don’t have.
When I left the sex trade and decided to get into IT, it was almost as hard as leaving the Family. Going from making $300 an hour to $10 was a huge adjustment. I had no understanding of coding and seemed to have no aptitude for it. My mother’s first web site is about 10 times better than mine was. I had to start at the bottom, working for what must have been the most sadistic and unintelligent boss ever. My boss made me cry almost every day, but I stuck with it, gained experience, and after a single year was able to get a job as a production manager in an advertising agency, where the atmosphere was ultra hip, the clients were some of the largest companies in the world and my salary had more than doubled.
Around the time the dot-com madness was in its’ peak, I was fired from one for refusing to give false reports to investors. This was a company where I had built a the entire production team from scratch and given at least 70 hours a week in blood, sweat and tears. I was devastated, and by the time I could recover enough to get out there to find something else, the bubble had burst, and everyone was being laid off. I had to take the first job I was offered, with a web team of two, in a company that was so far behind technologically I was actually embarrassed to tell my friends anything about our projects. Three years later I am still here, and we are now cutting edge, and I love the team I work with, the projects we do, and the work environment we have created.
My brother moved from Canada to the UK a couple of years ago, and started over in a large networking company in London. The company went under awhile back, and he was stuck in downtown London with no work, and crazy expenses. All his friends found other positions, but he was forced to use up more and more of his savings with nothing coming up. About a month ago, he was offered a position in Bermuda, with a signing bonus, relocation expenses paid, and a great salary. Never one to not rub it in, he sends me pictures of the beaches and sunshine, while I battle the snow here in Canada. (I really am proud of him, he left when he was 16, and worked 3 jobs to support himself and get on his feet.)
I have a close friend who has a learning disability, and thanks to that, and our non-existent family education, she always considered herself not smart enough to pursue any sort of education. She’s lived a pretty wild life for the last few years. After a close call with a drug overdose, she decided to change her life, moved to a new country, and enrolled in an access course, which is a program that enables people with no high school diploma to enter university. She did very well on that, was accepted into the university, and as of this September is a full time student. Education has been such a huge issue for her, and it's so cool to see her gain confidence, self-esteem and do well with something she never thought she could obtain.
You do have the strength to do this. You have already done it before when you left the Family and started over in a completely new environment. Everything we do adds to our experience, and if we learn from it we can become stronger and more capable each time.
Personally I believe no dream or goal is too outrageous or ambitious if we are willing to plan it out and work hard towards reaching it. You are not alone, there are people who understand just how hard it is, and have been there too.(reply to this comment
From JoeH
Friday, November 08, 2002, 17:51

Average visitor agreement is 3 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 3 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 3 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 3 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 3 out of 5(
Agree/Disagree?)
thank you for responding much better than I could have. Your insight and wisdom never cease to amaze me. To answer your question, I do realize that suicide is a huge issue, Mystic provoked my anger by suggesting that it is a rational thing to do, and that all our lives are pointless. Also, am I the only one who sees the irony of someone who thinks life is absolutely meaningless, but is still around to comment on it? (reply to this comment
From danz
Thursday, November 07, 2002, 16:43

(
Agree/Disagree?)
Haha, that was cool!(reply to this comment
From Drug Crazed Nazi
Friday, March 28, 2003, 07:26

(Agree/Disagree?)
I'm tired of living,
But I'm scared of dying.
-That Old Man River(reply to this comment
From Drug Crazed Nazi
Friday, March 28, 2003, 07:30

Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5(Agree/Disagree?)
People like JoeH invoke my homicidal tendencies. fuckin prick.(reply to this comment

My Stuff


log in here
to post or update your articles

Community

2 user/s currently online

Web Site User Directory
5047 registered users

log out of chatroom

Happy Birthday to demerit   Benz   tammysoprano  

Weekly Poll

What should the weekly poll be changed to?

 The every so often poll.

 The semi-anual poll.

 Whenever the editor gets to it poll.

 The poll you never heard about because you have never looked at previous polls which really means the polls that never got posted.

 The out dated poll.

 The who really gives a crap poll.

View Poll Results

Poll Submitted by cheeks,
September 16, 2008

See Previous Polls

Online Stores


I think, therefore I left


Check out the Official
Moving On Merchandise
. Send in your product ideas


Free Poster: 100 Reasons Why It's Great to be a Systemite

copyright © 2001 - 2009 MovingOn.org

[terms of use] [privacy policy] [disclaimer] [The Family / Children of God] [contact: admin@movingon.org] [free speech on the Internet blue ribbon] [About the Trailer Park] [Who Links Here]