|
|
 |
|
Getting Through : In Remembrance
One of our own | from Jules - Saturday, July 21, 2001
accessed 2144 times On July 1, a 20 year old ex-member in the US took his own life. I don't think there are any answers to something like this. On July 1, a 20 year old ex-member took his own life. As much as it seems there should be, I don't think there are any answers to something like this. His own father supposedly received a message from the afterlife about how the young man wants this to be a lesson to other young people to never leave the Family. I honestly cannot comprehend how, even after this, the father could still not see the pain that must have overwhelmed his son. There is probably nothing worse than losing a child though, and perhaps this sort of rationalization is the only way the father knows to cope.
Hearing about this has really deeply affected me. I know we are all individuals on our own roads, but we do share a common bond that no one else in the world will ever really understand, and one of our own has fallen.
I?ve stood on the edge myself, and suspect that the same is true for a lot of exmembers. If people only knew how hard it is to be "okay" and "normal" after everything. I am the last person in the world to look for excuses or sympathy, and I refuse to show or accept any weakness, but at the end of the day, no matter how deeply I bury it all, it is not easy.
The pain has nothing to do with wanting to rejoin the Family. It has everything to do with the intensity of the betrayal from the people who you trusted completely. It is to do with the comprehension that absolutely everything you were ever taught and believed is a lie. It's about the realization that you are truly completely alone, the Family, God, the friends you love and even your own flesh and blood have abandoned you.
I don't believe there are any easy solutions, I don't even know if there are any at all. Every day I pretty much make it up as I go along, and bit by bit work to put the pieces of my life together. All I can really say with certainty is that life seems to be an incredible adventure, with all the fear and exhilaration the freedom to explore that fully brings, and despite everything, I want to experience it all. |
|
|
|
|
Reader's comments on this article Add a new comment on this article |  from Mirswith
Sunday, November 03, 2002 - 13:44
(Agree/Disagree?)
Just wanted to make a not concerning my brother... and his death...he was the best guy anyone could truly know... I'd do anything to have him back here... I miss him terribly even though a year has passed....there was nothing really to explain why he did what he did.... it was a very hard way to die.. and definately not a very conventional way of committing suicide....
there had been a couple of things going on in his life....that probably did lead to his commiting suicide....none of them really valid for the purpose....but obviously something drove him to do that.....it was his choice....and as much as me and my family tried to blame ourselves .....saying we could have done something to prevent it from happening...there wasn't .....none of us saw it.... I had talked to him the night previous to his death.....nothing seemed wrong at all....he was very quite.....but he was sometimes that way.....it was a very very hard time for us.....
I really love him... he was the best brother any girl could have....
Kerri
(reply to this comment)
| from Auty
Sunday, August 19, 2001 - 00:50
(Agree/Disagree?)
I'm speechless . . .I have nothing to say because the whole thing in my own head is too wierd. Things get so mixed up because everything in the group is so mixed up that I can never get it figured out enough to write it down.
I am sorry and hope that you are okay. My consolences to you.
(reply to this comment)
| from Holon
Sunday, July 22, 2001 - 11:21
(Agree/Disagree?)
God help them. I feel bad for the father but, give me a break! That poor kid. Jules, do you know if he left a note or somthing?That is so sad.
(reply to this comment)
|  From Mirswith
Sunday, November 03, 2002, 13:32
(Agree/Disagree?)
Hey...just wanted to reply to your question...the guy that committed suicide was my brother....there was nothing at all ( as far as a note) to show that he committed suicide....me and my older brother who were both not a part of the group... hired a private investigator to find out if it was anything other than suicide....unfortunately.. the investigator came up with nothing .. so the case was closed as a suicide.(reply to this comment) |
| | | | | | | | From Jules
Monday, July 23, 2001, 08:01
(Agree/Disagree?)
I don't know if he left any note, and I doubt anyone would have heard about it if he had. It was better for them to have him explain from beyond the grave. I think this is what I find so horrific about the whole thing. This young man's act has to got to be the ultimate cry for help, and even now, no one is hearing him. And on top of it all, as has been aptly pointed out, he's still being exploited by the Family for their own purposes.
The young man's name was Matthew, and his parents are Tim and Maria.
Here's something to think about. If, as according to the Family, it's the horror of leaving that causes this kind of despair, what about the suicides of members in the Family? There are at least two that I know of. One in Japan, and one in the UK--both were completely hushed up.(reply to this comment) |
| | From Mirswith
Sunday, November 03, 2002, 13:57
(Agree/Disagree?)
In reply to your comment on my Dad receiving the prophecy from Matt....(as warning to other teens leaving the family)..that was definately my Dad's way of coping with the situation....I guess he figured it would help more teens....the prophecy was bothering to me and my other brother...and we had mentioned it to my parents...telling them that it seemed much too manipulative...but as I said that was my Dad's way of dealing with the situation.... and it really helped him....believing that my brother had spoken to him.... my Dad had not asked for the prophecy to be published.. they just put it in there...(reply to this comment) |
| | | | | From Lance
Thursday, August 23, 2001, 03:25
(Agree/Disagree?)
I had heard from my good friend Juli, that the brother of carrie, another of my good friends had just taken his life. at first I thought this was some sort of joke.
both of these girls live in Austin , carries father is named tim, which makes me think that this is the tim you are talking about I don't know if it's the same person. but the only thing that went through my mind was that I could heve easily been in his position.
the most outstanding conflict would have to be why? whay did this kid do this? and why are his parents thinking to themselves that this somehow has nothing to do with the group? surely they have to have some idea?
I don't understand, maybe I need to talk to julia about this seriously.
maybe I need to stop casually convincing myself that this isn't serious. I should have looked into this months ago! you'd think that if my friends brother had just commited suicide I would try to find more information about it. that I would try to relate to the issue.
but instead i fell into a state of disbelief, as though it was none of my buisness. I feel terrible for that.
(reply to this comment) |
| | From kreed
Saturday, November 02, 2002, 02:23
(Agree/Disagree?)
i knew Matt very briefly....we dated for a little while.....i currently work with and am friends with his sister, Kerri.
I just stumbled onto this site this evening.......i'm sure Kerri will want to comment ......i'll tell her about this site tomorrow.
....Matt......i cried when i heard about you.......and you know me, i never cry remember? Take care up there you hear?(reply to this comment) |
| | | | | From fsck
Monday, July 23, 2001, 13:59
(Agree/Disagree?)
Do you have any details about the suicide in the UK? Names, dates etc?
One thing though - I remember reading of one "suicide" in an F publication that really sounded more like an accidental overdose. I thought it was a bit unfair to classify this as suicide...why put the family (small "f") of the deceased through the extra trauma and stigma of suicide?(reply to this comment) |
| | From Lance
Thursday, August 23, 2001, 05:42
(Agree/Disagree?)
actually, its fucking wierd how this whole suicide thing has come up. we all remember ben, who commited suicide back in i think it ws '93, well his brother lives about 5 miles from me and we hang out every several weeks or so. he never talks about it really.
but the girl your refering to is linda. my step sister Autumn was with her in Africa when she overdosed.
back in '98 I lived in Tampa florida on my way to Bosnia. this had been linda's former home. From what I had gathered even before the overdose was that Linda was not quite right psychologically, and many of the young people in the home teased her about different things.
It was when she overdosed on malaria pills that I investigated the facts.
My step sister ha been living in Kenya with Linda and was actually there the evening that she died.
The situation described roughly by my sister was that linda had overdosed on the pills not knowing the deadly affects this would lead to.
it seems as though through a fit of hysteria she took those pils, nobody really knows weither she was really trying to kill herself or not. The only thing that I can blame the situation on is that Linda was always critisized by her peers. She was selfrighteous and awkward. One of my firends even before the accident described her as a girl who never took a shower, or cared to brush her hair. She was easy to tease and sadly extremely prone to feelings of self worthlessness.
Sadly, I think that Linda was a tradegy because she didn't get the psychological help that she needed. she was the victim of childish teasing and thus ended her life.
It's a shame really, that this incident didn't open the eyes of some leaders to the idea that some young people in the family might need professional help.
To this day I really want to know a lot about the details surrounding her death, and I wish that she could have somehow gotten the help she needed.(reply to this comment) |
| | | | | | | | | | | From Jules
Wednesday, July 25, 2001, 20:29
(Agree/Disagree?)
I didn't mean to imply you were being insensitive to the issue, I think your previous comment shows your respect for the families involved in these situations.
This is a bit of a different issue, but I really do get annoyed with some of the gossipy (mostly FGA) ex-members I have met. A lot of the "juicy details" are very personal and painful to the individuals involved. This should be apparent, but I don't think that private details about other individuals should be repeated publicly without their express consent. Things often do get embellished in the retelling as well, I could not believe some of the things that apparently have happened to me. (reply to this comment) |
| | | | | from Ian
Saturday, July 21, 2001 - 13:48
(Agree/Disagree?)
I'm there with you both on this, I guess there are no limits to how low they will go. Interesting that all these dead people have got something to say about this issue but absolutely nothing heard about the physical and mental abuse that most of us put up with for years.
I wonder what Elvis has to say about all this? Had the dead kid talked to Dave Berg yet? Was he fucking Pheobe? Did he mention anything about "quality of life" inside the moon.
(reply to this comment)
| | | | From ian
Tuesday, March 26, 2002, 15:15
(Agree/Disagree?)
Sorry, didn't mean to mock her. I saw her fucking Jeremy Spencer on video one time, and then later jerking off while talking to Berg in the camera. For what it's worth she was hot. She could have used a bit of a shave but it was the 80's, and fashion is fashion.
My mother was 17 when she joined, I don't excuse her either.
Ian
(reply to this comment) |
| | From Dopehead
Wednesday, January 16, 2002, 18:09
(Agree/Disagree?)
I agree, even thou she was a now so fashionably maligned "FGA", I think she joined when she was only 17, an impressionable age, her life was taken over by YKW, and,...well, it's a sad story... Have some heart!(reply to this comment) |
| | | | | from Alf
Saturday, July 21, 2001 - 11:48
(Agree/Disagree?)
Whats really sickening is the fam attempting to use something like that for their own ends. Leaves a bad taste in the mouth.
(reply to this comment)
| from fsck
Saturday, July 21, 2001 - 11:34
(Agree/Disagree?)
I do think it is rather distasteful (to say the least) and self-serving for The Family leadership to solicit and publish what is incorrectly termed "prophesy" (necromancing would be more correct, except that is all bullshit - and explicitly and repeatedly forbidden by scripture) about such a personal tragedy.
(reply to this comment)
|
|
|
|
|
]
[About the Trailer Park] [Who Links Here]