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Getting Through : In Remembrance

Yet another Suicide

from will02895 - Thursday, May 29, 2008
accessed 720 times

   I'm not an ex family member myself, but recently lost a friend that was.  His name was Dan Matthews, he took his own life in April of 07.  This past April his little sister took her life as well.  He was 24, and she was 20.  Is there no justice in this world?

   I met Dan through work.  We roofed together, and we really bonded,especially when we had a couple drinks one night and got to talking about our childhoods.  We discovered that we had alot in common and developed a special bond because of it. 

  I remember one day we were driving in Boston, and out of nowhere he told me I was a really good friend and person.  Funny thing was it almost made me uncomfortable and I kinda shrugged it off.  I told him he was a great friend as well.  I didn't realize it then but looking back I think that was his way of saying goodbye in a way. 

   Dan got tired of Boston and our job, and also was battling depression, although I never new the full extent of that depression.  He decided he was moving back to  Cali.  He moved and we talked to each other usually a few times a week.  We kept intouch via phone, and also played alot of xbox games together.  He seemed happy for a while, started going to school, and really seemed to have it all together. 

  I made plans to visit him in April of 07.  I was flying to Vegas with my wife, and we were going to rent a car to drive to see him in San Diego.  Dan and I made plans to go fishing, among other things.  Around this time, he started getting really depressed, and thought he was losing his mind.  I didn't realize how serious it was and tried to give him the best advice I could. 

  About a week before I left for Vegas I could no longer reach him on his cell phone.  He also changed his voicemail.  It used to say " You've reached Dan Matthews, leave a number and maybe I'll call you back."(Dan was a ball buster to the fullest).  Then it changed to, " You've reached Danny, I do not accept calls from restricted or blocked numbers."  I knew someting was wrong but thought to myself that everything would be ok and I'll see him soon. 

  When I arrived in Vegas I still couldn't reach him, so I just drove to the address he had given me.  I tried calling him this whole time and got no answer still, not like Dan at all.  I arrived at his residence and started to walk up the driveway.  I saw someone that looked just like Dan except with huge dreadlocks so I knew it wasn't him.  He was talking on the phone in his driveway and I didn't want to interupt him.  We made eye contact so I said, " Is Dan here?"  He looked at me and asked who I was, and I told him.  He told me that he knew who I was, Dan told him alot about me.  Then he told me that Dan took his own life about a week ago.  I didn't realize it but I was talking to his identical twin brother, Dan had told me much about him but due to the state of mind I was in I didn't make the connection.  I've never cried so much in my life, his brother hugged me and I felt like I had to leave immediately, I didn't want him to have to console me and make him relive the experience all over agian.  We exchanged numbers and my wife and I left. I've never cried like that in my life, and hope I never do agian. 

  I kept in contact with Dan's twin brother Ollie over the past year and tried to help him in any way I could.  He actually lives a few hours from me here on the east coast.  He's easily the strongest, most intelligent person I've ever met.  Well I spoke with him a couple days ago and he informed me that his little sister took her own life a year and 11 days after Dan.  She overdosed on insulin.  She was only 20 years old.  Dans parents didn't even go to his funeral, and words can't describe the hatred I have towards them for what they did to such inoccent children. 

  The past year has probobaly been the toughest year of my life.  After I came home from Vegas, I thought about suicide constantly.  Every day it was all I could think about.  Luckily I have a wife and little sister that need me here.  I'm much better now and if there is one positive thing that came from Dan's passing away its that I got to meet and become friends with Ollie, who's helped me more than I've helped him. 

  Now he lost a sister as well, and told me that he doesn't think that will be the last person in his family to commit suicide.  How can these parents live with themselves????  Two lives cut way too short, and yet these parents still live?  Thats how I know there is no god.

  Did anyone here know Dan?  I hope so I'd love to chat with you if you did.  Sorry if this post seems to ramble on but I'm not much of a writer.  Thankyou for taking the time to read this, and keep your head up everyone!

Reader's comments on this article

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from Haunted
Wednesday, June 25, 2008 - 13:06

Will - what was Dan's younger sister's first name?
(reply to this comment)
from Haunted
Friday, June 20, 2008 - 13:57

Hey Will - I sent you an email about this...thanks
(reply to this comment)
from Phoenixkidd
Tuesday, June 03, 2008 - 09:31


Tragic, I know of 2 people that took their life, one a former cultie, and the other not, and of course Ricky. I found out my friend, Charlie commited suicide over Thanksgiving dinner via text mail, it was the most shocking message I ever recieved. I pain to think that he let, and I quote, "these naging little details" get him down, although not a cultie he came from a strict Catholic background, the middle child of about 6 children. He must've questioned his sexuality to a point it drove him mad. I think of each of these guys every month or so and the pain I feel is sometimes undescribable, to the point I've grown numb to the world. Regretably nothing moves me anymore.


(reply to this comment)

from Randi
Sunday, June 01, 2008 - 23:28


I didn't know him, but I know of others like him. I'm sorry you lost a friend. The whole experience sounds so dark and terrible. May they rest in peace. I hope this doesnt cast a shadow over your life for too long...

 I know many of us have suffered and are dealing with a lot consequently... but I wish they would have held on just a little longer... I understand the pain, I must admit I have played with the thought at certain dark moments myself... But I hate to hear about those of us who have left... committing suicide because I feel like the past has won... stolen more from what could be a great present.

Guys if anyone of "us" is reading this and is thinking about giving up or contemplating suicide... Please dont!!!!! Don't let suicide become a trend. Please dont give up!! Please don't let them win!!! We are amazing human beings. We're strong and we can do this! We have it in us to live amazing and fulfilling lives we just have to accept that it's not easy, that we have to fight a little harder and a for little longer. Let us be the ones who say NO to defeat..... Please don't give up...
(reply to this comment)

From will02895
Monday, June 02, 2008, 08:35


  Thank you for your sentiments, it means alot.  I feel like if Dan could have hung in there a little while longer everything would've worked out.  If only I knew how serious things were our conversations would have been much different.  Please no more suicides, life is too precious and short as it is.  (reply to this comment

From Randi
Sunday, June 01, 2008, 23:36



  What are their parents names?? I might know them(reply to this comment

From will02895
Monday, June 02, 2008, 08:28

  I honestly don't know the parents names, never asked him.  Daniel Matthews and Ollie Matthews, I know they have a brother named Johnny, and I believe they grew up in Illinois.  Like I said I'm still in contact with Ollie, but I don't want to ask him much because I don't want to bring back bad memories.  Do they sound familiar?(reply to this comment
From lacy
Monday, June 09, 2008, 07:08

I am so sorry to hear this very tragic story and I hope you are pulling thru alright. how long were they living in Boston? I used to live there.  (reply to this comment
From will02895
Thursday, June 19, 2008, 11:26

He lived in Somerville for like 2-3 years. Thanks for your sentiments I'm working through it ok.  I really feel bad for his brother, doing whatever I can to help him out.(reply to this comment
From Randi
Monday, June 02, 2008, 12:34


Hmm, doesn't really ring a bell. Do they have an older sister named Angie?

 (reply to this comment

From will02895
Thursday, June 19, 2008, 11:27

  I don't know he didn't speak much about his family.  I know he had sisters just don't know ages or names.(reply to this comment

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