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from EmmanuelS Friday, April 14, 2006 - 07:06 (Agree/Disagree?) I knew Joy and her brother David very well. We lived in the same Jumbo Home in North Japan for a couple of years. The last time I saw them I was 13 and Joy about 11. A few years before during a big GAFM I had accidentally broken a glass on her nose when we were just kids...hence the scar that the ones who knew her must have noticed. When we were just pre-teens, we had some smooching sessions...one of my first. I'm glad to not have seen her last years on the downhill so I can keep fresh and innocent memories of her in our young years in that terrible sect which destroyed the lives of so many of our friends. If anyone knows where I can get in touch with her brother, let me know. (See my post on David & Joy) ES (reply to this comment)

From zenga Friday, July 14, 2006, 17:53 (Agree/Disagree?) I think you can find more information regarding her and her brother by getting in touch with Koa, his name could now be Ben. They have a band called jynxt (kids of fleetwood mac's Jeremy Spencer) I found them on google. Good luck. (reply to this comment)

from Haunted Monday, January 16, 2006 - 16:25 (Agree/Disagree?) Joy was one of my closest childhood friends. No, she wasn’t a saint, and she definitely made mistakes but she also had a deep capacity for love and forgiveness. We shared many things together, climbing kaki trees, learning cursive, figuring out ironing by burning half the homes’ clothes. I told her first about my first real kiss. We both had to take care of four snotty-nosed babies with pink-eye while shut up in a closet-sized room and ended up getting pink-eye ourselves. The same thing happened when those same four brats caught whooping cough… (thanks Jonnie & Ginny – I’ll always remember to remind you of that – you guys owe me!) - - we saw our first live birth together and both of us had to stop ourselves from hurling. We went through many dark times and yet managed to have fun throughout it all. I have so many memories of her but my greatest sadness is that I lost touch with her a few moves later on both our parts. RIP Joy. (reply to this comment)

from ESJ Monday, January 16, 2006 - 03:28 (Agree/Disagree?) I said what I said below in reaction to the seemingly 'harsh judgement' of a couple of commentors on how Tilly shared her story about her friend passing. However, to balance that, I do agree that it would be nice to hear a lot more about Joy's life and her history (outside of her apparent mistakes in judgement), thereby putting the 'negative aspects' of the period of time leading to her death into the context of her entire life, so we have a more balanced picture and clearer idea of who she was as a person. So how about it, Tilly? - Or others who knew her? Can anyone add to the above report and fill us in with more positive and historical details about Joy? (reply to this comment)

from Joey Sunday, January 15, 2006 - 22:23 (Agree/Disagree?) Carry only the bags that are yours! Anyone else commenting either for or against you all carry bags that you don't need to worry about. Their opinion may be substanciated or false but only you know all the details around the situation and it is you and you alone who sleeps in your head at night. Whatever your motivations for writing this were and however appropriate others might think they were. I hope one day you find your peace and need not run around making noise to try and drown out the sound of the things that are keeping you from finding it. Accept that peace is there for you to own and all you need to do is come to the place where you feel worthy of accepting it. I offer my respects to your friend and am sad for her passing, Your brother Joey (reply to this comment)

from Sunday, January 15, 2006 - 20:43 (Agree/Disagree?) Out of curiosity, was this young woman, Sharon, ever in Russia - specifically Siberia? (reply to this comment)

from Baxter Sunday, January 15, 2006 - 17:40 (Agree/Disagree?) All I say is: sometimes strong friendship sucks and the only remedy is not to have any friends. She's dead anyway. I can't stand the idea of people trying to paint a wack image of me at my wake by only remembering the good things (whatever they are) about me; I hope my mates have a proper bitch about what a cunt I was, as well as brag about what a good mate I was. Tilly, you're being fair to her memory, and you go on remembering your friend the way you wish to, good thingsand bad. She's beyond the pale of slander anyway. (reply to this comment)

From Nefarious Nosferatu and the Mystic Mefist Sunday, January 15, 2006, 21:00 (Agree/Disagree?) I'd hate to be depicted a saint, when in death I'm celebrated. But some things are better left unsaid. A bunch of boys discussing how a dead mate gallantly porked a whale is quite different from a woman who lost her boyfriend to Joy, announcing on a website catering to people the Joy grew up with, that she found Joy cheating with her boyfriend. Just my opinion. TPO really. Depending on where, when, and how the story is told, I think its natural that some would be offended. (reply to this comment)

from laundry list Saturday, January 14, 2006 - 13:49 (Agree/Disagree?) Had you truly been her friend you would not have aired her dirty laundry. (reply to this comment)

From G. Saturday, January 14, 2006, 17:56 (Agree/Disagree?) I agree with this comment.(reply to this comment)

From ESJ Saturday, January 14, 2006, 20:20 (Agree/Disagree?) God, some of you guys are so bloody judgemental! She was giving the background story to her friend's murder and why she was hurting so much that she wasn't 'there' for her friend earlier. Why not give a person some space to share their story, for Godsakes, without sitting in judgement of 'how' they tell it? One day you may need to 'unload' and share some crisis you've been through in the hope of being understood. Isn't that what this forum is for, after all? BTW, I am sorry for the loss of your friend - another ex SGA whose life was unnecessarily cut short, most probably due to a negative self image and unhealthy life patterns learned while growing up in TF. Be strong, and please be sure to get the emotional support you need from healthy sources. I wish you well. Love, Eva (reply to this comment)

From laundry list Sunday, January 22, 2006, 15:07 (Agree/Disagree?) There are many ways to speak about a friend when they have passed. I think loyalty to a friend extends past death, I have had some friends on this web site that have been my friends for years. Dispite what they have done or said I have always been and always will be there for them. To paint such a black history of her life and do nothing but degrade her, does not show friendship. A true friend would not do that, bottom line. I just wanted to add, ESJ I think someone who would let their teenager have sex with an adult woman, no matter how brainwashed they claim to be, has serious issues. I knew it was wrong when I was a child why did you not know it was wrong and do something to stop it when you were an adult?(reply to this comment)

From Anoushka Wednesday, February 08, 2006, 18:30 (Agree/Disagree?) I'd like to hear a little more about some ''not so perfect people'' that we all have known in our past (excluding the TF cult adults) there are so many of them and we've already filled pages on them!!!! Why don't we have a page were we can have a go at some of the people that were our age, our peers and we have greviances towards that used to ''TELL ON US'' or '' REPORT US'' in their OHR'S??? What about the ones that were too scared to leave TF thinking that ''GOD JUST MIGHT KILL THEM''? Watching our fate, and once realising that- no we wer'nt falling down dead with the plague, as was prophised, or dying from AIDS due selling sex or our bodies for money other than for JESUS...(more crap from their propaganda machine) Wer'e still alive; prospering in fact. And that is when they decide to jump on the ''SYSTEMITE WAGON'' I'm curious to know when- it became cool to be a ''BACKSLIDER'' because when I left it was'nt. (reply to this comment)

From vixen Thursday, February 09, 2006, 06:37 (Agree/Disagree?) Hmmmm, I don't see the point in dragging up that kind of stuff, given that *all* of us who grew up in TF were victims, and I don't blame any of my peers for being the way they were, or believing the things they did. I really and truly believed it all for a long time and it took me a few years to make the final step and leave 'all the way'; I'm not ashamed of that, although I do regret the wasted years. I'm glad that people can leave more easily now. Maybe you have just cause for holding a grudge, and I admit I didn't have it all that bad in TF (comparatively), but I just think maybe you'd be better off putting the blame where it really should be, and that's with those who orchestrated the whole system, and not those who didn't have a choice in how they were raised. Still, if you want to deal with some of your 'issues' here on this site, that's certainly your prerogative, as I'm sure you're well aware. For your interest, here are some articles on similar themes: http://www.movingon.org/article.asp?sID=3&Cat=39&ID=2284 http://www.movingon.org/article.asp?sID=3&Cat=39&ID=1616 http://www.movingon.org/article.asp?sID=3&Cat=39&ID=2249 (reply to this comment)

From exister Thursday, February 09, 2006, 07:04 (Agree/Disagree?) I appreciate your attempt at fostering unity among cult babies and honor among backsliders, but I will have to take the opposing view on this one. While there are many shades of grey there are certainly many people who were knowingly complicit in the perpetuation of my exploitation and abuse. The most egregious violators in this sense are my own brothers and sisters who are still in the cult. Part of the reason they are still in is that their betrayal essentially caused me to divorce myself from them emotionally, and once I was out I decided to let them fester in their cultish barbarity and ignorance rather than sit down and have that "come to the system" conversation with them. Beyond current members, there is no denying that many within our ranks of cult babies were also dirty little rats when they were in. I feel no need to call them up and rub it in though, since their shameful knowledge of their spineless history of selling out to the powers that be is punishment enough in my opinion. Perhaps I would feel differently if these little snitches had precipitated more abuse upon me than the FGAs were happily going to dish out anyway, but as my memories stand they were just faceless chunks of uninteresting human tissue in the asphyxiating, oppressive fabric of The Family's social structure. Finally, how could you not be painfully embarrassed to admit to ever having believed that crap?(reply to this comment)

From vixen Thursday, February 09, 2006, 10:08 (Agree/Disagree?) Heh. I knew you would disagree ;-) How do you know that I'm *not* painfully embarrassed to admit it, dear? I said I wasn't ashamed, because I'm not. But I certainly am embarrassed! Still, I don't think it's worth too much distress, in the grand scheme of things - the person I was all that time ago is dead, anyway, and I have better things to do just now than agonise over all that stuff. I'm hungry.(reply to this comment)

From Anoushka Wednesday, February 08, 2006, 17:58 (Agree/Disagree?) (reply to this comment)

From Anoushka Wednesday, February 08, 2006, 17:58 (Agree/Disagree?) (reply to this comment)

From BolloX Sunday, January 15, 2006, 04:15 (Agree/Disagree?) Someone goes around calling me a slut and a thief after I'm dead, then has the gall to claim she was my friend? Um, no... Doesn't work sweetie. She could have told the story of a lost friend and how she felt something coming, without metioning specific details about a deceased persons actions. (reply to this comment)

From Anoushka Wednesday, January 18, 2006, 22:25 (Agree/Disagree?) actually.. sweetie... (you must be American! No one in the REAL world uses that type of terminology) If you had read fully, with even a small amount of insight into what was written you might have grasped the whole concept; failing that- at least a basic point. Jessica was a SLUT!!! But never once did tilly ever refer to her as one. It is unfair to put words into her (tilly's) mouth. I knew both tilly and jessica well. I was around both of them when this tragic murder happened. All of you out there that want to know about the sunshine rays of her wonderful persona;let me tell you this: When she died she weighed about seventy pounds. She was allowing the man mentioned to pimp her out. She was on every illegal narcotic that comes to mind and at some point carried various STD's, and would even boast about them. All she ever spoke of, even whilst in the family when I knew her was, death, violence, guns and the occult. This might upset people who whilst not knowing her that well, obviously loved her very much. In my view... and I knew her well. What happened to her was something that she actively sought. She loved bad boys and basic BADNESS. May she rest in peace... I hope she's at peace where she is now, as she did'nt seem to have much peace in this life. In fairness to tilly, she loved jessica very much. Where as myself I tolerated her. you shound'nt be so high and mighty about someone sharing something that is not exactly flattering, but still in my view essentially true. We are not here on this site to glorify, or sroke EGO'S(reply to this comment)

From Anoushka Wednesday, January 18, 2006, 22:25 (Agree/Disagree?) actually.. sweetie... (you must be American! No one in the REAL world uses that type of terminology) If you had read fully, with even a small amount of insight into what was written you might have grasped the whole concept; failing that- at least a basic point. Jessica was a SLUT!!! But never once did tilly ever refer to her as one. It is unfair to put words into her (tilly's) mouth. I knew both tilly and jessica well. I was around both of them when this tragic murder happened. All of you out there that want to know about the sunshine rays of her wonderful persona;let me tell you this: When she died she weighed about seventy pounds. She was allowing the man mentioned to pimp her out. She was on every illegal narcotic that comes to mind and at some point carried various STD's, and would even boast about them. All she ever spoke of, even whilst in the family when I knew her was, death, violence, guns and the occult. This might upset people who whilst not knowing her that well, obviously loved her very much. In my view... and I knew her well. What happened to her was something that she actively sought. She loved bad boys and basic BADNESS. May she rest in peace... I hope she's at peace where she is now, as she did'nt seem to have much peace in this life. In fairness to tilly, she loved jessica very much. Where as myself I tolerated her. you shound'nt be so high and mighty about someone sharing something that is not exactly flattering, but still in my view essentially true. We are not here on this site to glorify, or sroke EGO'S(reply to this comment)

From Phoenixkidd Thursday, February 09, 2006, 06:10 (Agree/Disagree?) CAT FIGHT!!!! Good goin' Gals!(reply to this comment)

From Anoushka Wednesday, January 18, 2006, 21:13 (Agree/Disagree?) (reply to this comment)

From geo Sunday, January 15, 2006, 18:00 (Agree/Disagree?) I think she was honest. I would want the same when I'm dead. Life has been more complex and less one sided then I'd like sometimes. Some of my best friends where my best enemies but if there ever was a time to be remembered as I was not as I should have been, it would be when I'm dead.(reply to this comment)

From ESJ Sunday, January 15, 2006, 13:58 (Agree/Disagree?) Where is she calling her friend a slut or a thief? She's just telling it like it was. The word most mentioned in the text is 'friend'. Are you under the mistaken impression that a person has to be depicted as a 'saint' just because they've passed on, and their actual real life dramas forgotten or glossed over? We didn't do that with Ricky. And others haven't done it when they've talked about their ex SGA friends who've died of overdoses or ended their lives. Its perfectly okay for an individual who has passed on to be lovingly acknowledged as having been 'human', and they can be loved and respected as such in spite of their former vulnerabilities and human frailties. (That's what makes them human). I don't feel any less respectful or caring toward the deceased just because she may have made a few mistakes in judgement - (or that 'Tilly' at least percieves her to have made a few mistakes in judgement) - which may have contributed to her death. My heart just goes out to her because I understand her vulnerability and 'human-ness'. (reply to this comment)