from lucidchick - Tuesday, July 26, 2005
accessed 1509 times
"Life is a mystery, everyone must stand alone
I hear you call my name
And it feels like...home."
I remember first hearing that song played on the South American buses during the days of tapenessing when freedom seemed like a pipe dream. Now, because of certain events, it is linked in my ear's mind to my dreams of you. The dreams where it turns out you played a trick on us all and I get a prank call from you. The other dreams, where no matter how hard I try, I can't keep you here. The stage is raked, like the Russian ballet theaters. Sometimes I at least get advance warning and I have a little more time with you. If you were paid what some TV stars get paid for every episode of my dreams where you appear, you'd be all set.
Do you remember when it was just us? --Well, it wasn't just us, but we didn't know it yet. I have a primitive, animal love for my baby brother, who went through the earliest days of homelessness, hunger and then fatherlessness with me. That feeling comes closest to my emotions about you, who were there in the earliest infancy of our emancipation.
I remember how uncertain everything was, and I don't know what I would have done if there had not been you. If I had known how hard it would be, I may have been too tired to do it. I knew all about how it was supposed to be impossible (neither of us were impressed by that!). But I would never have imagined the struggle demanded by something just this side of impossible.
If I could only have been where I am now, I could have done so much more -- for both of us. Then again, in two more years, I will probably be saying the same about today. In five, in ten...
You fought valiantly, and your lack of fear still dazzles me. Thank you for your legacy to me. I would not be here without your gifts.
"Like a child you whisper softly to me
Youíre in control just like a child
Now Iím dancing
Itís like a dream, no end and no beginning
Youíre here with me, itís like a dream
Let the choir sing
Just like a muse to me, you are a mystery
Just like a dream, you are not what you seem"
(Lyrics: Madonna, "Like a Prayer")