from Xeena - Monday, March 11, 2002
accessed 2765 times
Six years ago my mom died.
It was a morning like any other, the sun was shining & the sky was blue. But there was something wrong & I knew it. I was 16 & for the past 2 years my mother had battled cancer.
As I came down the stairs my grandma & sister were near my mom, their faces grim. I went to her bedside, she had breathing tubes in her nose & was laying on an in-home hospital bed. Her lips were purple, her eyes closed. She panted as if she were running a marathon & couldn't catch her breath. The doctor later told us that her organs were shutting down, she must have been in pain.
Slowly relatives & loved ones came to be by her side. I sat to her right & held her cold hand, the fingertips were already turning blue. She didn't say a word & although everyone took turns saying their goodbye's, I had nothing to say.
Then, the panting stopped, she lay still. My grandma was upset "breath Robyn, breath!", my mom gasped for air. But once again she stopped, "damn you, breath!", my grandma demanded. One more breath, long, laboured, deep. My grandpa came closer "let her go". Mom exhaled, the room was silent, except for the hum of the oxygen machine. She was gone.
I stared, I felt nothing but shock. A single tear rolled down my cheek & as I wiped it away I glanced down to where my hand held hers. Where my fingers had been there was bruising.
I walked away.