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Getting Through : Dealing

Let it go

from redscare - Friday, November 08, 2002
accessed 1454 times

so the family, as well as all organized religion sucks, but hey we got out of it. now how do we deal with it?

So many of us leave the cult and some walk away bitter, some(like myself) don't really give a shit about it at all, and some still have ties.

In observation of many people who have left those who chose to not give a shit or keep ties move on faster. Many of those that chose to hang on and torment themselves with how much they hate the cult seem pretty happy doing that but what good does it do them? They don't seem to move on as quickly and it tends to affect their lives. Most people don't really give a shit. So maybe you were in a cult...but you left.

As far as complaints,in my opinion the cult was so diverse and the "standard" so varied it's impossible to classify it as one. One must judge it on an iduviual basis. You can not blame everyone for the fault of Maria and all the other tyrants. Sure it's a little screwed up to hang around but at the same time for many it's an easy ride.

But the real world isn't too much different. Some of us strike it big while others are still left struggling to make payments.

All i have to say is for all of you who still hold grudges...let it the fuck ain't gonna help u any to hold onto it. unless you're just scrounging around for some sympathy. If that is the case u've chose a pathetic way of doing it.

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from Hanna_Black
Tuesday, November 12, 2002 - 09:39

I think the thing is that people who were not abused or hardly, have an easy time of "letting go". Whereas those people who were strongly hurt emotionally and physically will spend a long time in a healing process. So, for a person who had it fairly good in the Family to tell someone who had it shitty to quit bitching and get over it, won't work! Everyone had a different type of life in the Family, so I believe, and everyone needs to heal differently too. Perhaps some people feel they can get over it if their abusers are brougt to justice, while others will do fine just leading a normal life and never looking back.
Everyone deals with it differently, you can't generalize or say "let it go!"

(reply to this comment)
from xhrisl
Saturday, November 09, 2002 - 05:25

While I do not mean to insult anyone let me make abundantly clear the differance in perspective between two objective realities. Perhaps the best manner in which to do this is with a contextual chronological framework. To put it bluntly---while you where popping zits in the mirror & wondering what dress to wear to teen dance night, some of us where in uniform carrying guns in Kuwait.
I thank god that your experiances where not as tramatic as many others in here! While it may be difficult for you to fathom the reality that many older SGA's lived through it is not something that they can easily work through without the support and understanding of others who know what it was like.
Many of my younger siblings who are still in TF are to young to even know what FFing is---much less to remember their mother engaging in the practice, or bringing home "fish". They have never seen a "Heaven's Girl" much less had "sharing time" with an "adult" or been on a "sharing schedule". In fact the likelyhood that they have ever done calastenics, been on silence restrictiion and solitary confinement, been physically and/or sexually assulted, fasted for days on end, or had meal rations of tomato and fish-head soup are pretty slim---then again, that may have something to do with the fact that there is a 25 year differance between my youngest sibling and I. I can remember being in homes where there where 30+ with no running water and a 50 gal barrel in the closet for a toilet, I also remeber the Basetto School (that was a pre-RNR school vision).
So please before you go bashing on people realise that their reality may have been very different from your own.
(reply to this comment)
from JoeH
Friday, November 08, 2002 - 17:58

While I like (and share) your take on the matter, I would never presume to tell someone else how to deal with their issues, that's for God or a therapist to do. Because even if I had gone through the exact same thing, my psyche is completely different, and all I can do is sympathize with the other person.
(reply to this comment)
from Vas you dere charlie?
Friday, November 08, 2002 - 15:38

You said you left 3 years ago when you were 17, that would make you 20 now. Red, I'll be blunt, you are too young to have experienced most of the abuse that people on this board have talked about.

I can't really blame some of the younger SGA's for being a bit sceptical about the stories of violent beatings, mouth-tapings and all manner of sexual weirdness that they hear from some of their older siblings. By the time you guys came around they had stopped these things, and even removed the record from the pubs. (Do any other SGA's remember being assigned to go thru the lit trunk and tear or black things out? I remember at least 3 different waves of pubs purging)

I think you are making a mistake in assuming that everybody's Family experience was the same as yours.

Also, I can guess from reading this that you don't have kids. Just a "heads up" But many of the SGA's I've talked to didn't really get how wrong the cult was until they had children of their own. Then they start seeing everything from a different point of view, "What if someone did that to my child?"

It's sad, but sometimes you can see something from somebody elses point of view and end up even madder at them than you were in the first place
(reply to this comment)
from Amen
Friday, November 08, 2002 - 15:13

Preach it brother!
(reply to this comment)
from Auty
Friday, November 08, 2002 - 12:11

You know, I thought this way for years after I left TF. It was my way of coping with what happened to me. Either there are some things that you've decided to bury & not think about, or your experience in TF was pleasurable. I do not presume to understand you, please do not presume to understand me or the rest of us that are here.

Jersy . . .good reply! HE HE HE!
(reply to this comment)
from lemme get this straight
Friday, November 08, 2002 - 11:50

Are you presuming to lecture to people who maybe had very devastating experiences in the group? I don't want to presume myself that you didn't, but maybe you didn't. I think for those who feel they didn't have it so bad it makes zero sense to give advice for those who did feel they had it bad (and who, by any reasonable standards, were treated in ways no human being should ever be treated). It's like apples and oranges if you weren't raped and tortured and you're telling people who were raped and torured not to be what you call "bitter." In that case you are right, you really can't say it was the same thing to be in the cult so stop telling those who had it different what to feel! :)
(reply to this comment)
from Jerseygirl
Friday, November 08, 2002 - 11:39

I thought preaching was reserved for pastors and cult leaders,oh well guess I was wrong.

It's so inspiring to know that someone is striking it big though! Maybe you might consider donating to us pathetic sympathy scroungers, I definitely have a few payments I'll be having to make for awhile!But alas, we might not hear from you here again as you have "moved on" so well and "don't give a shit". Bon Voyage!
(reply to this comment)
From JoeH
Friday, November 08, 2002, 17:55

that was pretty brilliant Jersey, I wonder if your body is as sexy as your mind.(reply to this comment
From Jerseygirl
Friday, November 08, 2002, 18:29

"my body's too bootylicious for you"(reply to this comment
From JoeH
Friday, November 08, 2002, 18:35

oh yeah, why don't you "back that ass up"?(reply to this comment
From JoeH
Friday, November 08, 2002, 20:26

oh, and are you sure it's not "bubble-licious?"(reply to this comment
From Jerseygirl
Friday, November 08, 2002, 22:13

well let's see...could be "Wrigleys" or "Big Red" or for you--"Dentine Ice"(reply to this comment

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