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Getting Through : Dealing
What do you do | from MissEm - Wednesday, February 06, 2008
accessed 514 times about that feeling. You want to run from something you're not quite sure of, but you know the answer can't always be packing up and leaving. I want to be happy right now, but I don't know if what I am doing will make me happy. |
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Reader's comments on this article Add a new comment on this article |  from MissEm
Tuesday, February 12, 2008 - 19:16
(Agree/Disagree?)
Wow! Thank you all for taking the time to respond to my vague emotional outburst. I don't get on here all that often so I didn't make it a priority to check back, but I am so touched that you all took the time to write something! PopNFresh, I think you hit the nail on the head. I gave you so little to work with, but somehow you perfectly captured my sentiment.
a)"If something doesn't seem right in a relationship, job, etc., packing up is too drastic. It took me awhile to look for other options to escape situations."
and
b)"Then there's that feeling that you are sitting too steady, like you're planting yourself and you don't want to get stuck. I had to resist that one too."
All of your advice on how it seems you've dealt with the same issues was very helpful to me. As soon as I was done reading your post I swear I was instantly able to view my life from a different perspective I had not been aware of before. Thank you!! :)
My ex boyfriend is in the F and we still talk. Tomorrow he leaves to Australia for 3 months to be with his lady friend and just travel the country. /jeeeaaalloouuss Deep inside I long for more freedom right now, but I know I can't just run wild the rest of my life. Work for something now, run wild later :P I'm learning to just take life a day at a time and follow some advice: "Procrastinate dramatic change. As long as you're making some progress you'll be ok. Sometimes you move really fast, sometimes you move slowly. Enjoy the slow. That's when you can really develop you."
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| from essay by Alan Watts
Friday, February 08, 2008 - 06:12
(Agree/Disagree?)
Self and others
http://deoxy.org/w_self.htm
(reply to this comment)
| from Emerson's Essay on "Self Reliance."
Thursday, February 07, 2008 - 05:46
(Agree/Disagree?)
http://www.emersoncentral.com/selfreliance.htm
The pattern/trap and how to free yourself!
http://www.exmormon.org/pattern/index.htm
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| | | | from Anti-Dufusness Coalition Spokesperson
Thursday, February 07, 2008 - 00:53
(Agree/Disagree?)
I get all of my spiritual/life guidance from the movies.
Scene from the movie "Space Camp":
THE SETUP: U.S. space-shuttle in orbit running out of oxygen for it's crew of teenage dufuses. Everyone is freaking out because they will die shortly and don't know what to do to prevent that.
RUDY (the afro american nerd): I just don't know what we can do.
TISH (the eccentric white punk rock girl): Well we have got to do something!!!!!!
-- In all seriousness, honest friendship based on your ability to be accepted for who you are is probably the most important thing in life and what brings the greatest peace to one's being. Avoid like the plauge any situation where there is any kind of a "conditional love" setup, as that'll bring you back to general coollessness and spiritual lubeless ass-rapery experienced in childhood and growing up.
-- Education is generally time, money and energy well spent.
My understanding of myself and observation(s) of others who have had similar childhoods is that we have an incredible need to be loved. Learning to love oneself and treat oneself with respect is a very difficult thing, I'm still learning that.
Being happy, what does that mean? I'm not sure I know. I thought I did once, thought that a good education a six figure salary and the prospect of stability would make me happy. I went through the motions and got all of that, only to find myself asking "What next?"
Peace, friendship, happiness and love to you in your journey.
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| from vix
Thursday, February 07, 2008 - 00:43
(Agree/Disagree?)
Happiness is not a state of being, IMO, but a momentary high that you can only enjoy in small measures. After the fact you can then relive those moments and garner repeated moments of happiness from them. I don't think it helps to be actively searching for it, as focusing too much on some elusive (and, frankly, unrealistic) state of bliss can actually make it more likely that you begin to feel as if something is missing. Contentment, IMO, is different to happiness, and comes from realising that all emotions and experiences are part of what makes life the glorious ride that it is, and and the understanding that the only way to enjoy life to the full is to drink in the fullness of every separate moment.
If this all sounds too mumbo jumbo and self-help, I do apologise.
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| | | | | | | from geo
Wednesday, February 06, 2008 - 23:34
(Agree/Disagree?)
When did you live in South africa?
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| | | | from madly
Wednesday, February 06, 2008 - 22:38
(Agree/Disagree?)
When you find out... let me know.
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| from happyometer
Wednesday, February 06, 2008 - 21:38
(Agree/Disagree?)
you're not sure about what? a relationship? a career path? I have a feeling this is not just a general question. is it one of those 2 issues?
if you have a feeling you should run from a relationship because the guy is aggressive or because he's great but you're not ready and you feel like you are wasting his time, then yes...time to go.
if you want to run from a relationship because that's what you do everytime you get to a certain place in a relationship, then I recommend therapy when you get tired of doing that over and over.
as for career issues: are you saying you want to run from the uncertainty that your current career or schooling will lead to happiness? happiness is awfully vague. the more specifically you can define happiness for you, the better chance you have of recognizing it when it shows up! Specifics like: enough money (how much is enough?), flexiblity in career (part time, freelance, parenting) vs. demanding/high pay (law, medicine), creative arts career vs. pratical careers like accounting (gratifying but usually low pay vs. dull but well compensated ), travel career (good pay, less family time), competitive vs cooperative work (such as major league sports vs. farming). Do you want your work to define you or is it going to be just the thing you do to make money? Then pick something to do (or learn) and begin. Everybody makes adjustments along the way to refine.
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|  From MissEm
Tuesday, February 12, 2008, 19:17
(Agree/Disagree?)
Happyometer, thanks for your info too! I am in college and working a lame job - not too sure what I really want to major in or "be when I grow up" which can be a cause of great stress at times. Sometimes I love that my future is so uncertain, and then other times I just see bleakness. It could also be that the problem lies with myself being a Pisces! :P
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| | from PopNFresh
Wednesday, February 06, 2008 - 21:11
(Agree/Disagree?)
I know that feeling. :/
I don't know what to tell you though. I don't know what situation you are trying to run from. For me there are always different things that brought on that feeling. If something doesn't seem right in a relationship, job, etc., packing up is too drastic. It took me awhile to look for other options to escape situations.
Then there's that feeling that you are sitting too steady, like you're planting yourself and you don't want to get stuck. I had to resist that one too. I just tried to focus on the now. Look at what kind of fun I can have doing exactly what I'm doing now. Try new things, etc. Eventually it will pass and then come back again. But once you make it through the first couple urges to run, you can look back and see that you were able to remain stable.
Sometimes changing small things around me helps. Things that I can control and gives me a feeling of change without actual change. Stay with a friend for a couple nights. Take a vacation. That one is tricky. At first I didn't understand vacations. I'd go somewhere, enjoy myself immensely and then try to move there. Be a tourist. Enjoy something without committing to it. It's hard, but eventually you can do it.
It's good to look into the future. Work-wise, learn as much as you can and build history. Companies like to see stability and versatility. If you can show that you've stuck to something and progressed within a company you can later apply your skills to other things that don't have to be the same thing. Most people stay doing the same thing everywhere they go, you don't have to do that. Changing work adds to experience and your value on the market place.
I'm rambling. I don't know what to tell you. Think about the future, but don't think so hard that it depresses you. Change is always possible, just remember that. Procrastinate dramatic change. As long as you're making some progress you'll be ok. Sometimes you move really fast, sometimes you move slowly. Enjoy the slow. That's when you can really develop you.
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