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Getting Through : Dealing


from ginger52 - Monday, October 22, 2007
accessed 598 times

I need some help.

Well, I've been out of the family for a good 9 years or so. I thought that I was the tough one that could forget the past and move on, but I've come to find out I need HELP. I realized I am holding on to things that I am tired of holding on to and it's just getting hard.

I have anger, bitterness and frustrations that I can't deal with on my own. I was wondering, I live in the Los Angeles area, is there anyone out there that has talked to a therapist or something that could give me any numbers? I don't know how to begin, I don't know how to explain it all to someone. Pls if anyone has seen or does see a therapist in the LA area that they can recommend I would greatly appreciate it.

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from Baxter
Wednesday, October 24, 2007 - 16:16


The only time I ever used a counsellor was after some wack shit that happened in the Army. They recorded everything I said and then went and handed it all to the MPs. Then I get this frikking Colonel down from fucking Bicester or God knows where trying to get me to sign a disposition. They were just trying to juice me for information. I've never really trusted counsellors since. They could have at least told me what they were up to, the lying sacks of shite. No real application really; just adding a recollection. I guess the lesson is: unless you want the police involved, be careful what you say to them. In any case, I don't really trust people anyway, certainly not MPs.

Oh yeah, tried Hypnotherapy once as well. In a phrase: WHAT A FUCKING SCAM!!! It cost an arm and a leg to sit in a dark room, while some 'therapist' reads some new-age babble sheet, and when you get sleepy (coz you're bored shitless) you're apparently hypnotised. Nowadays I just tend to try and keep busy; it helps me not to think about all the skeletons in the closet. Again, probably not the best advice, but all in all I don't rate therapy or anything that has you opening up to another person in exchange for money.
(reply to this comment)

from GoldenMic
Wednesday, October 24, 2007 - 13:08


Hi, you'll have noted that there is definatley some ambiguity here about the value and usefulness of counseling. Frankly, many of the criticisms are correct, in that most counselors will themselves become overwhelmed by the story and history of a typical SGA, falling back into mis-diagnosis (ie, malingering, delusions or lying), or attempts to "save" you, and few counselors have the specialized training needed.

I believe that what you are experiencing is actually pretty normal in view of what you have lived through. However, in terms of professional assistance, I have been in San Diego for over 20 years, and yet I personally hesitate at giving you a referral since I don't know of any counselor who has emerged here that could be called an expert in trauma theory AND cult victimization.

That said, there are a few resources out there. My best suggestion would be that you hook up with the ICSA, since they, at least, compile resource lists, offer relevant workshops and conferences, and have a good library and bookstore for cult recovery. Further, this site itself is an excellent forum for processing, support, and suggestions and I hope you'll stay involved. Even though it is sometimes very distressing to "lean in" to the experience of our past, many have found the hard work beneficial in helping us to finally begin truly moving through and beyond that past.
(reply to this comment)

From Big Sister
Wednesday, October 24, 2007, 17:17

ICSA, International Cultic Studies Association web site lists this number for information and referrals: (239) 514-3081. One of the things the ICSA does is offer workshops to therapists to get more training in dealing with former cult members and 2nd gen cult people too. There are also several names of presenters of upcoming workshops who might be available to recommend a therapist in your area.

(reply to this comment
From ginger52
Wednesday, October 24, 2007, 23:26

thanks I will check into this! I know it's kind of a hush thing for people to say they see a therapist, there is some sort of stigma to the idea, we all did plenty of 'heart sharing' in our days. That was always my idea that I was 'above' all the need to talk about myself and issues and that if I just kept busy with trying to get my life in order everything would go away. I'm realizing that it is affecting every part of my friendships, relationships and life and I'm just so tired. My main problem is seeing so many people trying to explain the fucked up lifestyle we have and the therapist not understanding it. I just want some who has some idea of what The Family is and then I can go on to explain the issues I have been faced with. (reply to this comment
from Phoenixkidd
Wednesday, October 24, 2007 - 09:16


Ginger, I am suprised no one has commented on your post or offered any numbers for support. I know there are tons of ex-fam in the LA area. But as with any kind of "therapy" it kind of is a given no-talk-about, subject. So maybe that's why no one has responded. I am also surprised that it took 9 years before you started coming to grips and feel anger for your past life. I know I got into that stage about 4 years after I left and I've been out for almost 9 years now.

I've been trolling this site for Auty's family website in San Diego as I feel they could recommend someone for you in LA but I just can't remember anything to help me find it

Anyway if you ever want to call or talk let me know through this site. I feel like everyone needs to find closure or at least some relief in explaining to their inner conscious what and why they were a member of the cult. I know I have and I've never been happier since I have resolved these issues in my mind.

(reply to this comment)

From ginger52
Thursday, November 15, 2007, 13:06

Thanks for your help. It is odd to me that with so many 'ex-members' that no one has looked for help. It really not something ppl like to talk about. I just don't want to go somewhere and be paying a shit load only to have a therapist wanting to hear my story about being apart of a 'sex cult'. I would have a hard time explaining too what happened. (reply to this comment
From neez
Thursday, October 25, 2007, 01:03

Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5(
I'm curious about what other conclusion you could come to for being a 'member' of the cult, other then the one stated below.

And I guess you mean this guys website: to this comment
From "Knew Disciples" Anyone?
Wednesday, October 24, 2007, 19:25

Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5(

Not that I don't have a ton of issues, but my "inner conscious" is not looking for closure or relief in explaining " what and why [I was] a member of the cult."

I am looking for closure and relief for many things. But I was born in the cult. I don't consider myself having been a "member" and even if someone does consider me a member, the reason was birth. Plain and simple. I could have been born an untouchable, a royal, genetically deformed or inheritance-rich.

But no, I was born to a cult member. What the horrid berg used to call a "knew disciple" via their vaunted recruitment strategy, the "birth canal".(reply to this comment

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