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Getting Through : Dealing

Please Hear Me Out

from PeerSupport - Tuesday, September 04, 2007
accessed 625 times

Not ex-Member but here to help, regardless.

I am not an ex-Member of The Family/COG, but if anyone out there wants a friend from the outside of things, to just talk to and possibly have a shoulder please let me know.

I'm not here to research you, or to tell you you're a poor little person. I just have my heart-filled sympathy, and I too have had struggles in my life. I am a transgender person, who has found it so difficult to fit into the scheme of things, and I know what it feels like to feel hurt.

I am not here to compare, or to offend anyone. Just to be a a friend to whomever wants a fresh face. My passion is helping people with their issues, whatever form they may be (but no, I'm not a councilor and have no qualifications, except experience in coming out the other end alive, from harmful mindsets and living situations).

I don't mean to invade your private sanctuary, or to spy. And I am deeply sorry if I have offended anyone by posting this.

Much love
(Gwydion Skinner, New Zealand)

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from fragiletiger
Saturday, September 08, 2007 - 17:59

Happy Birthday!!

Good luck with everything.
(reply to this comment)
From PeerSupport
Saturday, September 08, 2007, 18:01

Thanks FT, means a lot. How's your day going today? Got any plans for the spring? Hope there aren't any droughts where you are.(reply to this comment
from thatata
Wednesday, September 05, 2007 - 10:48

Average visitor agreement is 1 out of 5(Agree/Disagree?)

" from the outside of things", ha ha ha! Are you insinuating something? And what is "help" ? Define it, Pls.
(reply to this comment)

From PeerSupport
Wednesday, September 05, 2007, 15:16

From the outside of The Family. From 'the System'. And to be of assistance, or service to people on this website.

You don't have to e-mail me, you don't have to have anything or do with me, it's your choice and it's your life.

I realize, that there are some on here who are still afraid and angry of being the micky, and still have a long way to go to see people 'on the outside of things' not as enemies, but as possible friends that just want to do what they can to try make this place that little bit better.

If you have any memories, or problems about in/out of The Family that you want to talk about, or even if you just want a laugh about nothing in particular, then feel free to e-mail.

(reply to this comment
From thatata
Thursday, September 06, 2007, 06:48

Your presense on this site doesnt offend me, and u seem intelligent enough, plus I belive u may have suffered more then I have, even though I was born in The Family, SG. I dont think it right to think that we all suffered to the same degree though, within the cult(and of course after the cult) we are not all of the same "type"or age and I certainly dont think that most people on this site are afraid of the outside world especially when theyve been out for so long. Even the matter of a few years, that is a few years older or a few years younger, can make quite a difference in what a person will have gone through within the cult. As far as what I "suffered" its only a lack of education and a complete alienation from everything, ha ha ha! (yeah I know thats not especially funny). And another thing were not all suicidal, though I have thought of it, because I am thoughtful but that was years ago when I was younger and more neurotic... (reply to this comment
From PeerSupport
Thursday, September 06, 2007, 06:55

I'm glad it doesn't offend you. I don't believe in comparisons that one can make in regard to hurt. Tears are tears, pain is pain. It's just the experiences and the methods in which to heal are different per individual.

Sometimes, it helps to meet new people to heal. For some people, it's confronting the old. And to the people who are looking for the new person, I can be one of many out there to come. Or just a speck of sand, so to speak.

Everyone needs taking care of, and looking after in whatever way it is. And I don't believe in sitting here on my computer, thinking what a terrible shame, and how much people outside of the cult must hurt. To me, thoughts are not enough. Action speaks so much louder, and just being there is even more so.

It reminds me of an advertisement we had. This guy was wanting something from someone else, he faxed, phoned.. but the minute he went out and saw the person face to face.. then the deal was made.(reply to this comment
from Falcon
Tuesday, September 04, 2007 - 22:02

Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5(Agree/Disagree?)
I think that is very noble of you Gwydion. Not that it means anything, but you have my respect for being the individual you are; not only honest about it in a society riddled with stigmas, but putting yourself out there to help other struggling "outcasts"! I would be proud to possess half your courage.
(reply to this comment)
From PeerSupport
Wednesday, September 05, 2007, 15:25

Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5(Agree/Disagree?)
I think that when people see others in trouble, there are many types of ways we, as humans, deal with it and here are two common ones:

1. The Windowshopper
(They see what they want to do, they see the objectives and how to sort out the issue at hand, but keep walking by, because they either don't want to deal with the trouble, or think it's not for them/none of their business - after all.)

2. The Guardian
(The one who sees that trouble is brewing, or is brewing. Who goes up to people and offers a hand first, and who defends them no matter what the cost. Who just gets involved, and activated. And never scratches their head wondering 'how can I help?'/'what can I do? I don't know..'. They just DO it).

I never want to be a windowshopper, pondering to myself 'what is wrong with the world?'. Who reads sad stories, and thinks it's not my problem. It's everyone's problem, just as it's everybodies responsibility to do something to heal it.

(reply to this comment
From PopNFresh
Wednesday, September 05, 2007, 21:35

For some reason this comment really meant a lot to me. I forwarded it to a "Guardian" in my life. Thank you.(reply to this comment
From PeerSupport
Wednesday, September 05, 2007, 21:47

Average visitor agreement is 3 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 3 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 3 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 3 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 3 out of 5(Agree/Disagree?)
That's what some people in the world, like me, are here for. There are some lessons I have learned when dealing with shit, and they are the rules of the day (so to speak):

1. Choose your attitude in the morning, as soon as you wake up
2. Make someone's day (even helping the lady next door, or smiling at someone who looks sad).
3. Be present, and listen word for word to what people are telling you.

Have a good one, and take care mate!(reply to this comment
From Samuel
Thursday, September 06, 2007, 05:56


Exactly! Thank you, PS. As I always say: Why have a bad day when you can choose to have a good one?

Number 3 I need a little bit of work on, though.(reply to this comment

From so true
Thursday, September 06, 2007, 03:52


and if your on holiday

take nothing but photos
kill nothing but time
leave only footprints
(reply to this comment

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