from Falcon - Thursday, March 22, 2007
accessed 904 times
I just had another confrontation with my old man. For the first time I did not shake, my mind was calm, my tongue silent. In fact, I was so amused I wanted to leap up and dance a merry jig. Though he raged, he could do nothing, and because he could do nothing he was rendered helpless and the balance of power finally tipped in my favour. I sat down with a glass of wine that night and smiled, and laughed, and wrote this:
His eyes glow with the fierce light of zealous fervour, he spits venomous words at me as if he is throwing knives--knives that are round and blunt as spoons and the demon in me laughs, “Your words can’t hurt me now!”
He threatens, he screams, his face the colour of indigo, bulging veins purple and pulsating, hands grasping at the air between us as if he wishes to squeeze the life from my grinning face, while the demon in me laughs, “You can’t touch me now!”
I am the subject of his prayers, fervent pleas that shake him in an ecstasy of religious exorcism, and I receive pleasure knowing it is through fear of me that he prays. So the demon in me laughs, “You don’t scare me now!”
He cries and begs me to see reason, tears running down the lined pathways of his wrinkled face, but the demon in me laughs, “Your tears won’t reach me now!”
He tells me he loves me and the words turn sour, churning my stomach in sickening spasms. Till I remember and the demon in me laughs, “Your love can’t harm me now.”
And the strength within me rises up and grows till the universe must expand to accommodate my power, while he has shrunk down into a grasping, bumbling old fool stripped of the dignity of choice, the weapons of power and the recourse of pity. He is weak and I am strong-- my strength is perfected through his weakness!
My eyes dance with the spirited fire of awakening and I throw back my head and laugh and laugh and laugh.
Your words can’t hurt me
You can’t touch me
You don’t scare me
Your tears won’t reach me
Your love can’t harm me
YOU CANNOT HURT ME NOW!