Where are you now?

from notyetdrunk - Sunday, July 10, 2005
accessed 1039 times

It has been a while since I have visited this site. Mainly because I could not deal with Ricky's death. I don't think about him every day as I used to. Now it is days instead of hours. I still mourn his passing, and wonder why I have found it so difficult to deal with it. I never knew him personally and yet when he died it was like something in me had died. His sorrow and his anger was something I felt like it was a part of me. I was numbed and grief-struck, I could not seem to be a part of my everyday world. It was like it was happening around me and all I could do was watch.

I left the site so I could come to terms in my own way, grieve in my own way, and rage in my own way. I am still angry, I am still sad and I realize I may never come to terms with it completely. We as a group are so very unique and yet so much the same. While no one outside The Family will ever know what it was like to grow up inside the group we are not the only survivors of abuse. One out of four girls are molested and one out of ten boys. Why are we as a society not outraged?

Well, I wanted to know how everyone else is doing and how you have come to terms with it, if you have yet. I think grieving is very personal, and yet we all share in this. Keep the faith and stay strong.