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Getting Through : Dealing

Not Normal

from mia1 - Thursday, April 21, 2005
accessed 1726 times

Whatever....

We will never be normal! Even with two jobs kids husband and house, the voice that constantly rings in my head tells me I'm not normal. At work I try talking to my coworkers...that's a laugh, might as well tatoo freak on my forehead....sure I travelled and know different languages but I will forever be different and not for the best reasons. I adjust though and not all is bad but I end up alone because no one can relate to me..and you know whatever like I fucking care...

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from mia1
Wednesday, June 11, 2008 - 19:10

(Agree/Disagree?)
thanks for all the comments they help to make life interesting for me. I'm leaving P.R. for Texas next week (I joined the army I know I know...) But I will check in from time to time good luck to you all.
(reply to this comment)
From Shaka
Thursday, June 12, 2008, 07:04

Average visitor agreement is 2 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 2 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 2 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 2 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 2 out of 5(Agree/Disagree?)

Stop saying you joined the army like it's a bad thing! Say "I joined the motherfuckin' army so FUCK YOOOOOUUUU!!" You'll find plenty to hate about the army but always be proud you're a soldier. You'll never do anything else in your life that's anything like this. You'll be cold, hot, hungry, filthy, every level of exhausted and later you'll look back and realise how much you miss it.

 (reply to this comment

From thatata
Thursday, June 12, 2008, 12:44

(Agree/Disagree?)

It reminds me of a musical. "The Army, the Army..."

 (reply to this comment

from Lance
Sunday, June 08, 2008 - 20:09

(Agree/Disagree?)
I canít remember where I heard it or who said it. But there is this quote that Iíve always thought about when I have felt like a freak: ďYou are not who you think you are, you are not what others think you are. You are what you think others think you areĒ
I f you get passed the redundancy in the quote you will see that we are so governed by our fear of other peoples opinion and approval that we can go so far as to formulate our whole lives on what we fear others will think of us if they knew who we really were.
I think it Was Robin Williams who said everyone is just a little crazy, some more than others. The same can be said about being considered a freak. Everyone is a bit of a freak in some way. The point is to find other freaks and then not give a damn what other people think.
(reply to this comment)
From Big Sister
Monday, June 09, 2008, 21:57

(Agree/Disagree?)
Actually I think the point is to turn your so called freakishness into an asset. It might take some really creative thinking to work that out, but hey, that's precisely what Robin Williams did!(reply to this comment
from Randi
Saturday, June 07, 2008 - 09:13

Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5(Agree/Disagree?)

I can totally relate to how you feel. And I try so hard to appear normal which can be so f##king exhausting. This is more of an issue I think for those of us who have kid's. Its like us x parents have a complex and paranoia about being abnormal.

I think though that we feel it more than anyone else. I mean that no one probably thinks you're wierd, maybe they think you're lucky that you got to travel so much and try all these different things. If no one has a clue about the "small" cult detail, they probably feel envious and like you might think of yourself superior because you're so much more metropolitan, and internationally cultured than they are, so maybe they view you different in a good way.

On the other hand... if we keep seeing ourselves as below, less or wierd compaired to those we are trying to "join" they will sense that, and treat us the way we expect to be treated. Why should they like us if we don't like ourselves... if you get my meaning.

I think it's important that we remind ourselves on a regular basis that we are amazing and strong individuals and we should.... and have the right to, feel proud of ourselves. We have just as much right to be, where ever we are, as the next guy.

I read this in a novel I'm reading, this section is about a black woman, been sexually abused everyday by her step dad... she starts a new life with her aunt who says: " You can keep running and hiding and blaming the world for your problems, or you can stand up for yourself and decide to be somebody important... By knowing that you're important. First you get an image in your mind of who and what you want to be. And then you go to work becoming that person."
(reply to this comment)

From Big Sister
Monday, June 09, 2008, 21:59

(Agree/Disagree?)
Also known as "fake it till you make it".(reply to this comment
from cheeks
Friday, June 06, 2008 - 20:50

(Agree/Disagree?)
You ever watch Paula Dean on Food Network? Everyone around here for the most part sounds like that. If that is normal I'll take freak every time, and bless the sound of my neutral Family sounding accent.
(reply to this comment)
From Samuel
Saturday, June 07, 2008, 06:00

(Agree/Disagree?)
Oh, Cheeks.  There's nothing wrong with a mild Southern accent.  I find a Southern accent to be kind of sexy, actually.(reply to this comment
From cheeks
Saturday, June 07, 2008, 09:15

(Agree/Disagree?)
There is nothing mild about that accent.(reply to this comment
From Samuel is an idiot
Saturday, June 07, 2008, 08:38

(
Agree/Disagree?)
Samuel, your latest two polls are retarded and why are so obsessed with madly?(reply to this comment
From Samuel
Sunday, June 08, 2008, 06:20

(Agree/Disagree?)

I nominated the first comment, about Madly, because it was obvious flamebait.  Perhaps you're too dense to notice flamebait when you see it.  The idea that it is "not meant as an insult" is ridiculous.  If you were to call Hillary Clinton a man, don't you think she just might get offended by that?  If you were to call Dan Rather a woman, don't you think he just might get offended by that?  The person didn't even have the decency to sign in or register!  THAT is why I nominated their comment.

As for the other comment, that was actually written by Madly, I was in a hurry to just get the poll done. I saw Madly's comment, laughed, thought it was very funny, and decided to nominate it.  If fragiletiger had just written her piece from "The Vagina Monolagues" a couple days later, her comment would definitely have been put in in Madly's place.

Bottom line: Flamebait sucks ass!(reply to this comment

From Samuel is an idiot
Sunday, June 08, 2008, 07:59

Average visitor agreement is 2.5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 2.5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 2.5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 2.5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 2.5 out of 5(
Agree/Disagree?)
So you can honestly say that you are not obsessed with madly?(reply to this comment
From Samuel
Sunday, June 08, 2008, 10:24

(Agree/Disagree?)

American Heritage College Dictionary:

obsess: verb -sessed, -sessing, -sesses

To preoccupy the mind of excessively.  To have the mind obsessively preoccupied with a single emotion or topic.

It has nothing to do with enjoying madly's company in the chatroom, or finding her remarks intriguing, even if her articles are a bit annoying at times, or thinking about her from time to time as I do the same with many other friends that I have.  Can you honestly say that you, and other people on this site, are not obsessed with the idea that I am in love with madly?  Or are you just flamebaiting?

I thought so.  Now get lost, you dimwit!    (reply to this comment

From madly
Sunday, June 08, 2008, 22:12

Average visitor agreement is 1 out of 5(Agree/Disagree?)

Heh...it is funny that you find my articles annoying, they are actually... even to me. Although, I think the reason you find them annoying, sammy, is because you don't understand them. Yes?(reply to this comment

From Samuel is an idiot
Sunday, June 08, 2008, 11:16

Average visitor agreement is 2.5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 2.5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 2.5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 2.5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 2.5 out of 5(
Agree/Disagree?)
To add: Anyone who must continuously look up their definitions because they canít use their own words to defend themselves is definitely an idiot.(reply to this comment
From I know what I am, but what are you?
Sunday, June 08, 2008, 08:25

(
Agree/Disagree?)
Can you honestly say that you are not obsessed with Samuel?(reply to this comment
From Samuel is an idiot
Sunday, June 08, 2008, 09:37

Average visitor agreement is 2 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 2 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 2 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 2 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 2 out of 5(
Agree/Disagree?)
Oh, and also, anyone who defends Samuel is an idiot.(reply to this comment
From cheeks
Sunday, June 08, 2008, 13:12

Average visitor agreement is 2 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 2 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 2 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 2 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 2 out of 5(Agree/Disagree?)
At least I have the balls to post my name and not post hateful useless trash under the umbrella of an anonymous comment. While Sammy has said and done things I don't agree with, he is far from an idiot. I hate coming here and seeing posts like this when all of you have talked with him at one time or another and none of you seem to have the guts to stand up and say back the hell off. IMO, you guys are as useless as the people who watched the old man get run over and did nothing to help him. (reply to this comment
From steam
Sunday, June 08, 2008, 21:12

Average visitor agreement is 3 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 3 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 3 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 3 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 3 out of 5(Agree/Disagree?)
Cmon Cheeks. Rushing in to defend Samuel could also be a bit patronising. I think he is a big enough boy to take care of himself, and so left him to defend his non idiothood.(reply to this comment
From cheeks
Monday, June 09, 2008, 09:12

Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5(Agree/Disagree?)
You know I have to wake up everyday and look at myself in the mirror and accept who I am. And when I do that I am going to be honest with what sort of a person I have become, not on the outside but on the inside. While I may have been mean to people, I have never just been cruel for no reason. I have never just mocked someone for no reason other than I just don't like them. I have never gone in the chat-room just to call someone a name, or say something derogatory to them. I am not going to just sit here and read on, or click the mouse when someone is being intentionally rude and childish. I don't understand why it does not bother some of you more. But then again maybe you were the ones who got out of trouble in the Family by ratting out your friends. If that is the case, I am so glad I was never one of you.

To answer one more issue in this thread I do not hide behind my user name, my name legal name is posted several times on this site. But if it makes you feel any better you can call me Becky.(reply to this comment
From Samuel is still an idiot
Sunday, June 08, 2008, 14:22

Average visitor agreement is 3 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 3 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 3 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 3 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 3 out of 5(
Agree/Disagree?)
I donít see how using another name would make Samuel any less of an idiot, so whatever. It is so funny to me how you are so mean to people sometimes, cheeks, and yet you so vehemently defend poor little Samuel. I guess it is okay to be rude if cheeks decides it is warranted, or if you use a registered fake name instead of temporary fake name. Am I catching on?(reply to this comment
From From Samuel is still an idiot
Monday, June 09, 2008, 08:58

(
Agree/Disagree?)
I want to also add that I am also an idiot, probably a bigger idiot than Samuel, because while he openly admits he has not been laid, I secretly have not been laid in years. My dick is so shriveled that most people laugh and point. It helps my ego to put people down because when I do it makes my dick feel larger and more manly. (reply to this comment
From Samuel
Monday, June 09, 2008, 16:46

(Agree/Disagree?)
If you want to feel more manly, try to avoid watching "Joey"(reply to this comment
From sar
Monday, June 09, 2008, 12:08

(Agree/Disagree?)
Now this person isn't an idiot! Quite funny.  (reply to this comment
From Samuel
Sunday, June 08, 2008, 14:57

Average visitor agreement is 1 out of 5(Agree/Disagree?)
So much for trying to reason with them, huh, cheeks?(reply to this comment
From Samuel is an idiot
Sunday, June 08, 2008, 09:11

Average visitor agreement is 3 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 3 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 3 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 3 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 3 out of 5(
Agree/Disagree?)
You got me! I just canít stop thinking about his virgin hairy ferret.(reply to this comment
From samuel is a fanatic fan
Sunday, June 08, 2008, 08:20

Average visitor agreement is 3 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 3 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 3 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 3 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 3 out of 5(
Agree/Disagree?)
Sammy reminds me of Ben Falcone on the sitcom Joey.(reply to this comment
from holysavage
Friday, June 06, 2008 - 17:36

(Agree/Disagree?)
tell me about it...it took 7 years for me not to feel like a total idiot out here while trying to make friends, get a job, etc...etc...i guess it's always rougher for the ones of us who left when we were older...
(reply to this comment)
from Cultinvator
Monday, June 13, 2005 - 23:03

(Agree/Disagree?)

You're article is true in that it's sincere... I'm glad I'm not 'normal' in terms of ordinary... the reasons surrounding my 'friek' nature is not something I had much of a choice in, so I don't really feel that bad because that is beyond my control. Still I'm sure there are things that even after 5 years of being out I'm continuously discovering that might hit me harder at a later time. However as redundant as it sounds, and even though I wouldn't want anyone to go through some of the abusive control that we went through I realize that because I went through one of the moste bizzare mixture of 'fuck culture' I still don't want to be the 'brady bunch' next door. Normal is such a general word I'm trying to understand what you mean by it, I'm guessing it means feeling less marginal and isolated. I think this website works nicely in reconecting with those other unormal odd bunch so that we're really not that odd within our group. Ricky however, he's a real mystery... I can try to understand some of his life from what I've read, my experience living with him for a few months but he didn't open up easily about a lot of his inner feelings so my coment about it is more about me that about him because I'm not about to start to see what it's like to be that isolated. I feel like I had it good compared to him being a lot more exposed to the 'system' or society from an early age, going to public school, and being a peddler on the street was definately a lot less isonationist than at the 'lion's den'.


(reply to this comment)

from Baxter
Friday, April 29, 2005 - 02:10

(Agree/Disagree?)

Social normality consists not of being normal in any applicable sense, but of convincing yourself of your own normality in conjunction to the rest of the world, and then convincing the limited circle in which you interact that you belong there; you will never belong there any more than you believe you belong there. In a sense therefore, consider yourself lucky that you do not feel normal- it just means you are marginally less proficient at self-delusion.
(reply to this comment)

from aging freak
Friday, April 22, 2005 - 19:55

(Agree/Disagree?)
There is no such thing as normal. You may never be able to connect with 97% of the people you know at this time in your life, but one day in the future you will have lived enough of your life on your own terms that you will fit comfortably into the world you have created for yourself. Then you might be able to talk to 8% of the people who know you and not feel like a freak. In the meantime, it will feel lonely.
(reply to this comment)
from Jerseygirl
Friday, April 22, 2005 - 13:38

(Agree/Disagree?)
Took the words right out of my mouth.
(reply to this comment)
from Fish
Friday, April 22, 2005 - 08:51

(Agree/Disagree?)
Heavy stuff...
(reply to this comment)

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