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Getting Through : Creative Writing


from Joe H - Wednesday, August 07, 2002
accessed 1236 times

Well we've been hearing a lot of free verse lately, some of which is pretty good, but I thought I'd demonstrate that Family kids do understand the concepts of rhythm and rhyme (or was I the only one who read the Rhyme Book?)

I wrote this a little over a year ago to a person who probably doesn't exist.

You are the sigh of the multitude
As winter surrenders to spring
The anxious feeling that floats through the air
From the flowers that wait to bloom
The very earth trembles in anticipation
It knows you are not far away
And a breeze so gentle it cannot be felt
Is softly whispering your name

You are the smile of the flower as it lifts
It's head to greet the sun
The moisture remaining inside its blossom
As a gentle wrinkle appears
On the horizon that glows as the sun emerges
So subtle, sublime, yet superb
That makes you the myth from the times of old
That so many longed for in vain

One knows not if he hears or merely imagines
The music in which you reside
You are all of those lingering pictures and sounds
Of the dreams that have faded with time
That words that echo on the ears of the mind
And evoke something greater beyond
From the dream of a woman you've become more abstract
A concept, a goddess, or God

The line is so blurry and I can't tell
Where you end and nature begins
For everything in it contains something of you
And bestows it upon you again
And when you appear in reality
Will your truth set me free?
Or will she be yet another mistranslation
Of something that's out of my reach?

Reader's comments on this article

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from Ex-member
Friday, August 23, 2002 - 13:24

Whatever... Some people would say that poetry is an art form and art is determined by the artist. Your poem is sweet but a little similar to the lyrics of an In'Sync song.
(reply to this comment)
From JoeH
Friday, August 23, 2002, 13:46

That's pretty insulting ex. criticize my spelling and grammar all you want, but comparing me to n'sync? honestly, that's low, destructive criticism(reply to this comment
from Mercy
Wednesday, August 07, 2002 - 22:08

Ok, I'm looking for the rhyming scheme but I just don't see it. Please point it out to me.
(reply to this comment)
From JoeH
Thursday, August 08, 2002, 00:48

right okay, this poem doesn't focus on rhyme so much as rhythm, which is really the most important thing.(reply to this comment
From Deranged1
Wednesday, August 28, 2002, 23:51

yeah, I liked the rhythm on this piece(reply to this comment
From JoeH
Thursday, August 29, 2002, 11:22

thank you! (reply to this comment

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