Moving On | Choose your lifeMoving On | Choose your life
Safe Passage Foundation - Support to youth raised in high demand organizations

Saturday, January 31, 2009    

Home | New Content | Statistics | Games | FAQs

Getting Through : Creative Writing


from slash - Thursday, July 19, 2007
accessed 557 times

Another bad poem

Your under, inside, all over me
Like a permanent itching
Inside my skin
Its torture being
So close
I can feel
Your breath within
All over my skin

Reader's comments on this article

Add a new comment on this article

from good enough to make me itchy
Friday, July 27, 2007 - 14:40

I can’t really give you any constructive criticism cause I’m not really sure how to write myself....(sometimes, people get the exact opposite of what I am trying to say through writing..)
I kinda liked your poem; it reminded me of some I wrote awhile back .....hope you don’t mind me posting them.

Picking at my itchy scab innocently
Knowing full well I will leave a scar
So I leave it hanging—


Impatient!—Click- Click
End Program-Click Again!
How is the window…still open?

--Re booting


Padlocked box--clock
Tick tock-- chicken pox’s
Mocks-- my broken heat

(reply to this comment)

From cheeks
Saturday, July 28, 2007, 20:08

If you are going to post your crap on someone else's article, why don't you post your name so we can see which moron you are?(reply to this comment
From because......
Sunday, July 29, 2007, 05:13

I did post my name....only it keeps changing.... WTF??—giggle....
besides, Slash doesn’t seem to mind....and you posted crap on Slash’s article too—I bet your cheeks are rosy red now that I pinched them—you look soooo adorable -- esp. since, I’m almost sure you don’t always go by “cheeks” --but yeah, I know, I can’t hate you for being pretty.
(reply to this comment
From cheeks
Sunday, July 29, 2007, 20:43

Freaking moron I didn't post crap poetry on his article. It's like adding a comment to an article with another article. It's rude. I have gone by Cheeks on this site for years now and most people here know who I am by now, at least they know I am in my mean stage. So if you have a problem with MPD perhaps you should take medication. (reply to this comment
From rude?
Sunday, July 29, 2007, 21:05

LOL- oh, well at least you make me laugh!(reply to this comment
From *sorry...
Friday, July 27, 2007, 14:44

...i meant to address the above to Slash(reply to this comment
From LOL!
Sunday, July 29, 2007, 05:20

Please cheeks, laugh a little-- it really does suit you!

P.S I won’t mind, go ahead and mock me if it helps you laugh ;-)

(reply to this comment

From Scab picking is gross
Friday, July 27, 2007, 14:56


Maybe next you could write a poem abotu picking your nose?(reply to this comment

From "metaphor"
Friday, July 27, 2007, 15:37

Is that word gross for you?
--just wondering (reply to this comment
From maybe.....
Friday, July 27, 2007, 15:09

I will!
--It’s real enough....everyone does it...including you...Thanks for the idea (I’ll dedicate it to you)
.For a change why not try reading some horror instead of those romance novels....
(reply to this comment
from cheeks
Friday, July 27, 2007 - 11:47

If you knew it was bad why did you post it?
(reply to this comment)
From slash
Friday, July 27, 2007, 12:31


I posted it in the hope of getting some constructive criticism.

(reply to this comment

from bad peom good enough to make me itchy again
Wednesday, July 25, 2007 - 14:59


I felt like that.... alittle over a month ago--it was torture!
(reply to this comment)

My Stuff

log in here
to post or update your articles


2 user/s currently online

Web Site User Directory
5047 registered users

log out of chatroom

Happy Birthday to demerit   Benz   tammysoprano  

Weekly Poll

What should the weekly poll be changed to?

 The every so often poll.

 The semi-anual poll.

 Whenever the editor gets to it poll.

 The poll you never heard about because you have never looked at previous polls which really means the polls that never got posted.

 The out dated poll.

 The who really gives a crap poll.

View Poll Results

Poll Submitted by cheeks,
September 16, 2008

See Previous Polls

Online Stores

I think, therefore I left

Check out the Official
Moving On Merchandise
. Send in your product ideas

Free Poster: 100 Reasons Why It's Great to be a Systemite

copyright © 2001 - 2009

[terms of use] [privacy policy] [disclaimer] [The Family / Children of God] [contact:] [free speech on the Internet blue ribbon] [About the Trailer Park] [Who Links Here]