from faith - Sunday, February 05, 2006
accessed 971 times
I wrote this a long time ago now.Years have passed and I have divided myself enough to the point now that i can function with my adapted self. I don't like it though and i wish i could be the mess i am inside i want to melt down i want to plaster the walls with my misery and confussion. i want the worldto spin faster and make me dizzy to the point of colapsing in blurred vision and mess and darkness and not quite thereness. A single peice of peices. Just is what is. However awlful.
this is a collection of peices I thought fit together.
I am crying but my tears are that of a ghost
I find comfort in patting my fears
I wade in shallow waters and
kiss thorns for the pain
to smell the rose out of my reach
my hands are many but my feet are tired
and this is a heavy weight i carry.
Standing in the shadows of what I belive
In the shadows of what I stood for,
ashes to ashes, dust to dust.
There is not one word or words that can pin point
what I'm feeling at the moment
my emotions seam to be floating wherever they choose,
touching on whatever festering wound they come across.
There all over the bloody show.
Who would have though I'd have problems who would have thought
you would have to.
To be eccentric or just relateable.
Where do I find my peace, my sound mind.
It's only wispers of what I want to be
dull colors in the darkness
(a hollow face and bleeding eyes)
Sometime I dare to speak, only to
regret the face I turned to.
Sorrow drips from my heavy heart and my eyes are sore.
I am breaking where there is no freedom to break.
I've wept in uglier places and cut myself in prettier.