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Getting Through : Creative Writing

Do you date?

from dan - Thursday, April 14, 2005
accessed 1351 times

Ranting in Afghanistan, trying to make sense of normal people.

Somebody had to go and do it. They had to ask one of those questions that I can never answer. The good ol’ what do you do for fun and what kinda of music do you listen to? That and a couple others I can never answerer in the simple format of the sixty second response. There are a shit load of questions that the normal non-sociopath has no difficulty answering. For those of us that are socially challenged they present a conundrum.

Those questions that take the wind out of my sails are as follows:

Where are you from?

What do you do?

Where do you live?

What’s your name and how old are you? And the mother of all is do you date? What the fuck does that mean? Is she hitting on me? Does date mean fuck? Does date mean eat out? Does date mean court with intent to live monogamously till death does us fuckin part?

What do I do for fun? Travel to fucked up places and look for a fight? That can’t go over well. What kind of music do I listen to? Any kind the girl puts in the cd player while we’re in bed. Or the kind that Brazilian samba dancers dance to wearing as little as indecently possible.

I get a kick out of wearing expensive Italian clothes and walking into a Russian mafia bar and acting like I belong. The look of “who is he and why is he not scared?” is the greatest aphrodisiac. These boys will always, in the end, send over a girlfriend to try and wheedle what you’re doing out of you. Then the games really begin, if you take her dancing he gets jealous but he sent her over so can’t let on. God damn that can be good time. Fun? Kinda, in a fucked sorta way.

As you can see the normal routs of conversation I find pain me. I’d much prefer the question of sexual orientation over residence.

Where did I go to school? Did I go to school? The list goes on and on. And all the answers scare the shit out of normal people. What the fuck is normal person?

So what do I do for fun? These days I don’t have fun. I do work out but that is far from fun as I am in pain all over right now. I read a shit load but that is more for distraction. I jack off but that is for subsistence. I sit in the tali bar and type about shit that pisses me off but that is not fun either. So fun….. I travel to Brazil for carnival. I own a bar on the beach in Brazil and get headaches from that. Does that count? I try and get laid by everything I come across except really cool guy’s wives.

Do I date? Nah.. I do fuck but that ain't dating. Every once and awhile I get a girl who falls hard and then I am all fucked up and can’t get out fast enough. Even when you tell them going into it they still think that they are going to change to me to some domesticated pet. In the end I end up just telling them to go away and they have to. Is that fun? No. Is it good sex? Oh ya.

Music; don’t have time for it but I do have some great samba on my computer. And just listened to a bite and was instantly transported to a land of rhythm and sun. Fun, I talk to Paramilitary folks about covert armies and ask if they need a hand. They are short handed and need help but the paper work is staggering.

If that answers your question then you are a brighter tack than I.


Reader's comments on this article

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from Shackled
Monday, April 18, 2005 - 16:45

Good stuff, Dan. Good to catch up with you at Abe's memorial. Glad u succeeded in what you went after.
(reply to this comment)
from xolox
Sunday, April 17, 2005 - 19:37


Is a compilation of your "shorts" in the planning? I know I'd read it.
(reply to this comment)

From if ^^^ lived in Springfield, USA
Thursday, April 21, 2005, 11:43

Xolox Simpson: "Read dan's shorts!"

(reply to this comment
From xolox
Thursday, April 21, 2005, 14:34

Ay caramba!(reply to this comment
from loch
Saturday, April 16, 2005 - 09:35

oddly. all that. was rather arousing!
(reply to this comment)
From dan
Saturday, April 16, 2005, 10:09

cause you're fucked up. (reply to this comment
From loch
Monday, April 18, 2005, 07:39

true.(reply to this comment
From dan
Monday, April 18, 2005, 11:53

the end game is more evedent in "don't blame me, i was drunk" so et your shit together or you'll end up like that poor bastard; tired drunk and realizing you are the last one at the bar.

(reply to this comment
from Sonderval
Friday, April 15, 2005 - 03:27


HAH, all of the above, but for things I find fun I'll also add the look on people's faces when you spin off on a massive rant in answer to what would be a perfectly normal question if asked to someone who isn't a raving psycho.

I'm weird, probably dangerously so, but I've also developed an acute sense of the ridiculous and when I'm on my bipolar upswing I really enjoy being completely honest with unsuspecting fools trying to do small talk, what's even weirder is that tends to fascinate people and I find myself with a little cult following (also makes it pretty damn easy to get laid, dunno why, I'm very obviously bad news if they want anything more than sex and most women seem to). I even started a little pseudocult once just for a laugh, then I went on a downswing and realised how much I loathed each and every one of them for being weak minded little followers so I tore it apart again.

I still get an ache every now and then when I remember how much I wanted to be 'normal', I've given up on it now but it does still hurt, just tough it out and rely on catching that upswing again, euphoria is a poor substitute for happiness but it gets me by.

Taste the endorphins
(reply to this comment)

From Jerseygirl
Friday, April 15, 2005, 04:23

I think you are my Doppelganger (not sure of the spelling) Sonderval. (reply to this comment
From Sonderval
Friday, April 15, 2005, 10:31

You have my sympathies then. ;)(reply to this comment

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