from Beets - Tuesday, January 27, 2004
accessed 1237 times
Okay, so maybe this lacks originality and so on. And I'm sure that there are a million things wrong with it. I wrote this ages ago when the whole Vandari thing was first going around and I've been kind of not wanting to post it because there's already tons of stuff out there like it. But anyway, I found it mildly amusing and thought maybe some people would enjoy it. So here it is.
One day while I walked down Agricola st
A fearsome Vandari by chance I did meet.
I shivered in fear and looked all around,
At it's gruesome great teeth
Where blood driveled down.
Oh me! Dear lord! What a terrible sight!
I felt my pant leg moisten in fright.
My sweet husband Jesus! Deliver me from this Evil!
I squeaked and I squawked like a frantic dying beagle.
Then I heard a voice so soft and pure,
Saying "Come with me kid, I'm sure we'll find a cure."
"No" I said, "don't you get it can't you see.
That fearsome Vandari is trying to eat me"
"It's alright son nothings there, don't cry."
Was this strange voices only reply.
And then it hit me.
Of course! I know what I'll use.
Another hit of my end time prophet juice.
I knew where it was, in my left boot.
Next to the tracks with a syringe to shoot.
"Dear Jesus, thank you." I said with a grin.
"With the aid of my prophet juice there's no way I can't win."
And just as I prepared for my prophet juice fill up,
I found myself being pushed into a police truck.
I heard the officer saying "This ones a whirl,
He was pissing himself because of a squirrel."
The moral of my story is
When coming across a Vandari
Do not shoot your juice
Or you will be sorry...