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Getting Through : Creative Writing


from LeBrat76 - Saturday, February 01, 2003
accessed 1150 times

Relationships without closure--

Why am I such a child?
'Cause I never got to be
Who cares about responibility?
When will I just be me?

I wanna die, but not really
Can't you hear me cry?
Crying for attention
Why aren't you listening?

He doesn't want to listen
Doesn't want to speak
His world is too confusing
He's as fucked up as me

I leave him alone, there's so much I don't get
But then I hear him cry
Crying for attention
I did too much listening

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from Cultinvator
Tuesday, December 02, 2003 - 15:45


I think your poem is very personal and very moving. I think it's strong in that it evokes strong personal true emotion.

As for a suggestion I would suggest maybe using some concrete detail that makes your poem less cliche and more original in terms of where it is yours and can only be recognised as such, in other words it couldn't be missunderstood for being someone else. like a specific action or picture that could explain the same feeling

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