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Getting Through : Lighten Up

Someone needs to take a valium.

from sougly - Tuesday, November 05, 2002
accessed 1316 times

Things I hate about everybody.....

1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time....I know
where my watch is pal, where the f**k is yours? Do I point at my crotch
when I ask where the toilet is?

2. People who are willing to get off their a**e to search the entire room
for the TV remote because they refuse to walk to the TV and change the
channel manually.

3. When people say "Oh you want to have your cake and eat it too". F**king
right! What good is a cake if you can't eat it?

4. When people say "It's always the last place you look". Of course it is.
Why the f**k would you keep looking after you've found it? Do people do
this? Who and where are they?

5. When people say while w atching a film "did you see that?". No tosser, I
paid £12 to come to the cinema and stare at the f**king floor.

6. People who ask "Can I ask you a question?". Didn't really give me a
choice there, did you sunshine?

7. When something is 'new and improved!'. Which is it? If it's new, then
there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then
there must have been something before it.

8. When people say "life is short". What the f**k?? Life is the longest
damn thing anyone ever f**king does!! What can you do that's longer?

9. When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks "Has the bus come
yet?". If the bus came would I be standing here, Knobhead?

10. People who say things like 'My eyes aren't what they used to be'. So
what did they used to be? Ears, Wellington boots?

11. When you're eating something and someone asks 'Is that nice?' No it's
really revolting I always eat s**t I hate.

12. McDonalds staff who pretend they don't understand you unless you
insert the 'Mc' before the item you are ordering.....It has to be a McChicken
Burger, just a Chicken Burger gets blank looks........... Well I'll have a
McStraw and jam it in your McEyes you McTosser.

13. When you're involved in an accident and someone asks 'Are you
alright?'. Yes fine thanks, I'll just pick up my limbs and be off.

B** tards

Reader's comments on this article

Add a new comment on this article

from Hanna_Black
Wednesday, November 06, 2002 - 09:42

I hate it when you walk into the house and someone looks at you and asks, "oh, are you back?" well, duh!!!
(reply to this comment)
from Hanna_Black
Wednesday, November 06, 2002 - 07:11

LOL! The one with the remote control is my husband, and I am the one who always asks if I may ask a question...he he
(reply to this comment)
from Bella
Tuesday, November 05, 2002 - 22:50

Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5(Agree/Disagree?)
Those were great Sougly – did you come up with them all? I must add one: I hate it when random people come up to me and tell me to “smile” or ask “why are you so serious?” Geezus – what’s wrong with being serious and who decided one should walk down the street with a stupid GRIN on their face like “Lucy Ricardo” - give me a break!
(reply to this comment)
From sougly
Thursday, November 07, 2002, 07:59

No Sadly, as much as I would like to take credit for the above....LOL!! They were sent to me by a friend at work - glad you enjoyed them, I sure did!(reply to this comment
From eesiwon
Wednesday, November 06, 2002, 13:36

They're all 100% Internet pearls -- finest quality though.(reply to this comment
from ummmmm
Tuesday, November 05, 2002 - 20:54

that's delving further into the english language than I care to...
(reply to this comment)
from Jerseygirl
Tuesday, November 05, 2002 - 20:01

That's good stuff!
(reply to this comment)
from Micky D
Tuesday, November 05, 2002 - 19:14

Whoa....Someone has a lot of McRage.
(reply to this comment)

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