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Getting Through : Lighten Up
Things you'd LOVE to say at work... But can't... Because you're a big pussy. | from Lance - Monday, September 02, 2002
accessed 2175 times 1. I can see your point, but I still think you're full of shit.
2. I don't know what your problem is, but I bet it's hard to pronounce.
3. how about never? is never good for you?
4. I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
5. I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.
6. I'm currently out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message.
7. (in an interview)I'm really easy to get along with once people learn to worship me.
8. I don't work here, I'm a consultant.
9. It sounds like english, but I can't understand a word you're saying.
10. Ahhh.. I see the screwed up fairy has visited us again.
11. I like you. you remind me of when I was young and stupid.
12. you are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.
13. I have plenty of talent and vision, I just don't give a damn.
14. Does everyone visual duct tape over your mouth so early in the conversation?
15. I will always cherish my initial misconceptions I had about you being compentent.
16. Thank you! We're all refreshed and challenged my your unique point of view.
17. You know... the fact that no one understands you does not mean that you are and artist.
18. Any connection between your reality and my reality is purely coincidental.
19. What am I? I am a flypaper for freaks.
20. I'm not being rude. you're just insignificant.
21. And your cry-baby, whiny-butt opinion would be?
22. Do I look like a people person?
23. I started out with nothing too, and I still have most of it left.
24. Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.
25. If I throw a stick, will you leave?
26. Errors will be made, others will be blamed.
27. Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.
28. I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.
29. I cubicle is just a padded cell without a door.
30. Can I trade this job for what is behind door #1?
31. Too many freaks, not enough circuses.
32. Nice perfume, must you marinate in it?
33. CHAOS, PANIC AND DISORDER... My work here is complete.
34. How do I set a laser printer to stun?
35. I thought I wanted a career. It turns out that I just wanted paychecks.
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Reader's comments on this article Add a new comment on this article |  from Shackled
Monday, July 05, 2004 - 19:20
(Agree/Disagree?)
How about doin this to your coworker?
http://www.do-not-sleep.com/images/priceless.jpg
(reply to this comment)
| from Ex-member
Sunday, September 22, 2002 - 17:06
(Agree/Disagree?)
Well, I think it was hilarious! And who gives a fuck who wrote it?! I'm with Fairyraven on the original posts shit. -Who's picking on people who are posting news articles and letters from friends etc. in other sections? I saw one on the wall of a collegues workstation but this one is much more funny. And as for the spelling... Please try not to mispell your complaints about Lance's mispelling! -It takes away your credibility.
(reply to this comment)
| | | | from JoeH
Wednesday, September 04, 2002 - 12:34
(Agree/Disagree?)
you forgot one: "Are you a fucking ray of sunshine every day?"
(reply to this comment)
| from MagicGreenPants
Wednesday, September 04, 2002 - 11:14
(Agree/Disagree?)
I don't say all of that stuff, but I'm not a pussy. If I have something to say I'll say it. I just told the national executive director of our company what I thought about the company, & she was pretty offended, but I tell you what - I wasnt rude but I looked her in the eyes and she chickened out and looked away - & on several occasions. If you have the power to look someone in the eye and outstare during in a conversation, then you win. & over the phone - if you break that long awkward silence - you lose! & I've been hanging on the phone for 10 minutes on some occasions too, I havent won em all, but I do now.
(reply to this comment)
| | | | from faeriraven
Wednesday, September 04, 2002 - 08:10
(Agree/Disagree?)
Well, I thought that it was funny, thank you Lance. I guess none of you who have read this so far work in any kind of job huh. Who cares who wrote it, there's no where on this site that says you can't post anything but your own stuff.
(reply to this comment)
| from monkeyfart
Wednesday, September 04, 2002 - 06:16
(Agree/Disagree?)
I see! Must be cut & paste chain e-mail day. - Original, I don't think so.
(reply to this comment)
|  From Lance
Wednesday, September 04, 2002, 20:10
(Agree/Disagree?)
I never said that I wrote it, what did say was that I like my fuck-ups to be original as well as obvious(in reference to the typos.) I took all of them off a sheet of paper that some one gave me. So just incase anyone comes to the incredible conclusion that this is blatant plagiarism, well then you would be only partially right. For the record I did not cut and paste, instead I engaged in another, lesser form of copying and I extend my apologizes to anyone who thought otherwise.(reply to this comment) |
| | From Lance
Wednesday, September 04, 2002, 20:10
(Agree/Disagree?)
I never said that I wrote it, what did say was that I like my fuck-ups to be original as well as obvious(in reference to the typos.) I took all of them off a sheet of paper that some one gave me. So just incase anyone comes to the incredible conclusion that this is blatant plagiarism, well then you would be only partially right. For the record I did not cut and paste, instead I engaged in another, lesser form of copying and I extend my apologizes to anyone who thought otherwise.(reply to this comment) |
| | | | | | | | from ********
Wednesday, September 04, 2002 - 01:52
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