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Getting Through : Lighten Up

I needeth answers.

from Jesus Crust - Thursday, January 12, 2006
accessed 1227 times

I beg thee, help me with this question for it weigheth heavy upon my mind and maketh me sore afraid.

If I (Jesus) am the son of God and my mother (Mary) and father (Joseph) art Gods children, art not my mother and father also my brother and sister. For it came to pass that some friends and I were tending to the sheep and after we had drunk well, Bartholomew droppeth this bomb on me. And I answered unto him, yea even unto Isaac who was there as well, ...............I donít know. I pray thee help me answer this query and I shall give thee many mansions.

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from Jesus Crust
Friday, March 03, 2006 - 10:07

(Agree/Disagree?)

Funny linketh.

http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/flash/jesusdynamite
(reply to this comment)

from Bones
Wednesday, January 18, 2006 - 08:58

(Agree/Disagree?)
Aaaaaaaaaaaha ha ha! You guys are retarded! Funny, but retarded.
(reply to this comment)
From Jesus Crust
Wednesday, January 18, 2006, 15:44

(Agree/Disagree?)
Surely thou art not calling the lord thy god a retard. If thou art, thou shalt be smitten as well. Verily verily I say unto thee, I hath a bag of smite with thy name on it. Knock Knock, (who's there ) SMITE!!(reply to this comment
From Bones
Wednesday, January 18, 2006, 21:39

(Agree/Disagree?)
Watch it Crust I've got a preemptive bag of smite with your name on it. Don't make me break it out!(reply to this comment
From Jesus Crust
Thursday, January 19, 2006, 09:49

(Agree/Disagree?)
Bluff not with me youngster. I know what thou hath a bag of, and it doth not be smite. I hath friends in low places, if thou canst catch my drift, and I shall have a smiting put on thee as a lesson.(reply to this comment
from
Monday, January 16, 2006 - 09:56

(Agree/Disagree?)
Matthew 12:47 Then one said unto him, behold, thy mother and thy brethren stand without, desiring to speak with thee.
48 But he answered and said unto him that told him, who is my mother ? and who are my brethren?
49 And he stretched forth his hand toward his disciples, and said, behold my mother and my brethren!
50 For whosoever shall do the will of my Father which is in heaven, the same is my brother , and sister , and mother .


(reply to this comment)
From Jesus Crust
Monday, January 16, 2006, 10:12

(Agree/Disagree?)

Thank thee, but I remembereth that quite well. I wath there when I spoke it. Thou may not be aware but the "He" of which this verse speaks is me. I thank thee for thy effort. I shall reserve thee a mansion for thy trouble.

J.C.

(reply to this comment

from neezy
Saturday, January 14, 2006 - 20:15

(Agree/Disagree?)
I wouldeth thinketh GG knoweth mucheth on that subject.
(reply to this comment)
From Jesus Crust
Monday, January 16, 2006, 10:21

(Agree/Disagree?)

I hath tried my best with GG. I hath beckoned, yay I hath called out unto him "GG, Pull thy head from betwixt thy ass cheeks", But he removeth it not. GG hath aroused my sore displeasure for his iniquity. My peace be with thee Neez.

J.C.

(reply to this comment

From GG
Thursday, January 19, 2006, 01:12

(
Agree/Disagree?)

J.C. don't use the Lord's name in vain foolishness! To some people it is plain offensive! I'm asking you nicely now!!(reply to this comment

From Mr.T
Friday, January 20, 2006, 13:04

(Agree/Disagree?)
I PITY THE FOOL WHO ASKS NICELY!!!(reply to this comment
from GG
Saturday, January 14, 2006 - 17:54

(Agree/Disagree?)
You have no concept of faith do you? What a faggot!
(reply to this comment)
From Eric Cartman - discussing X-ianity
Sunday, January 15, 2006, 03:05

(
Agree/Disagree?)

Memorize this or you miss your weekly viewing of Pollyanna!

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, temperance: against such there is no law. - Galations 5:22-23

I mean, you are X-ian are you not?(reply to this comment

From GG
Sunday, January 15, 2006, 09:07

(
Agree/Disagree?)

Hello Eric if you are missing Pollyanna you can always rent it at your nearest blockbuster it would probably do you a lot of good to watch instead of the TV programs you are obsessed with. I am not XIAN I am Christian I believe there is a difference.(reply to this comment

From Jesus Crust
Monday, January 16, 2006, 08:31

(Agree/Disagree?)

GG, I have been patient with thee thus far. Press not thy luck or I shall smite thee. Behold, I came seeking answers and thou hast defiled my sacred thread. I am waiting for thy apology beyatch.

J.C.(reply to this comment

From Mother Mary
Monday, January 16, 2006, 15:01

Average visitor agreement is 1 out of 5(
Agree/Disagree?)
As far as I've known you hunk, you was never much interested in women, even I did always did suck you to sleep when you was a wee little 'un..Always touching yourself you were, and playing with Daddy ever since he held you close to him and your chubby little fists instinctively held firmly to his rod. Then there was the time you went missing in Jerusalem for three days, we combed through all the gay clubs in Jerrusalem and found you drinking cum like it was going out of style in the men's only sauna at the temple. You were always quite the slut, and the boys loved you, maybe it was that innocent looking face of yours, or your your willing buttocks that had the villagers fawning after you. Boy did your daddy find every excuse to bare those fresh bums and spank you.(reply to this comment
From GG
Tuesday, January 17, 2006, 03:28

(
Agree/Disagree?)

You people are going to regret talking shit when you die. Jesus hears and sees all you do. Hopefully He'll have a bit of understanding on account of our fucked up childhoods.(reply to this comment

From Jesus Crust
Monday, January 16, 2006, 15:23

(Agree/Disagree?)

Dearest GG,

This art not the gay party line. Thou hast given me quite a laugh yet thy language is disgusting, beguile us not with such filth. I laugheth off my ass even as I type this. I emplore thee to stop thy foolish ungodly behavior. Think unto thyself, "WWJD?", and do likewise.(reply to this comment

From GG
Tuesday, January 17, 2006, 03:31

(
Agree/Disagree?)
Mr. J. Curst should now that the above homosexual comments by mary are not mine. I would say a couple more things, but evangelizing is not my style today. God will filter the good from the bad on judgement day.(reply to this comment
From K-N-O-W
Tuesday, January 17, 2006, 08:50

(
Agree/Disagree?)
Not n-o-w learn to spell David.(reply to this comment
From GG
Tuesday, January 17, 2006, 10:30

(
Agree/Disagree?)
TYPO!!! WTF is with these selfapointed spell check zombies?!! Have you punks no other purpose of existence?!! Do you orgasm everytime you find a post with no spelling errors?!! Or maybe you get depressed and go back to the closet you always hide in!?! Punkass biatches!!! Fuck off!(reply to this comment
From Your daddy
Tuesday, January 17, 2006, 11:00

(
Agree/Disagree?)

"N"- Oh yeah, Im almost there....... "O"- Yeah baby, talk dirty .... in spanish.......... "W"- That's way off, I'm.. gonna.... Yeah... Turn around baby....... you want it on your tit's?.... Unghhhh.... Oh... ahhhhhhhh.....Yeeaaaaah!

Your'e so hot baby, now get me a beer. (reply to this comment

From Jesus Crust
Monday, January 16, 2006, 15:29

(Agree/Disagree?)
I would also ask thee not to defile thyself by blaspheming the name of my mother. Thou art a sick pup.(reply to this comment
From Mother Mary
Tuesday, January 17, 2006, 09:48

Average visitor agreement is 1 out of 5(
Agree/Disagree?)

I'm your mother! Don't you sas me, jc, I changed your diapers, soothed you when you were teething, I nursed you through gonorrea and the clap, I sold the ring my mother left me to pay the doctors for your treatment of internal hemorroids(it then turned out the doctor was responsible for them in the first place), how could you just forget all that?????? YOU UNGRATEFUL SLUT!!!!

*sobs*

(reply to this comment

From Jesus Crust
Tuesday, January 17, 2006, 10:36

(Agree/Disagree?)
Damnit Ma, I told thee nigh 2000 years ago I wath sorry. And nay, the doctor had no hand in my hemorroids. Yay, though it art quite unfortunate, many people hath begotten hemorroids. It art embarrasing when thou discusseth my health issues, yay even on this web site for all to see. And I told thee I wouldst buy thee a new ring so get thee behind me Mother. (Or shouldst I say "sis", Our family art such a mess. ""Crying"")(reply to this comment
From Jesus Crust
Tuesday, January 17, 2006, 10:47

(Agree/Disagree?)
As for the V.D. it was given unto me from a dirty toilet seat. And just because thou maketh me chicken soup (jewish penicillin) does not mean thou nurseth me back to health. Where wast thou with the chicken soup when I wath getting hammered to a cross, huh? Nails in the hand hurteth like a motherf#*ker! I could have used some then!! (reply to this comment

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