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Looking for the Truth

from cyborcosmic - Friday, May 23, 2003
accessed 1986 times

My Father is unknown!

During 1982 my mother was living in Singapore with The Family. Rose Mideast (her Family name) from Activated Ministries (or The Family). My mother Marita or Mercy (from Sammy and Mercy or later Phillip and Mercy) was FF’ing in Singapore with other Family members.
This is all the information from her letter she sent me:

All I knew from your biological dad was that he lived and worked in Hong Kong at the time I met him. I met him in Singapore towards the end of July 1982. He has blond hair, was a little taller than me (I’m 1.61) and was a nice looking businessman. He was born in Venezuela, but has an English/American accent. He had a Family. I wrote him several times, also that I was expecting a baby-girl from him and I never heard from him anymore. I can’t remember if he really ever wrote me. Rose Mideast is her “Family” name. I never heard from her via Activated. No kid is an “accident”…

If anyone has any information about Rose Mideast or my father, please contact me. It would really help to know Rose Mideast’s real name so I could ask her myself about my mother’s experiences in Singapore. My name is Pandita,
e-mail is

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from cyborcosmic
Wednesday, June 18, 2003 - 08:24

Here is what i found out so far, at least it's the truth about my mom, it's true that she travelled to Greece and joined the Family in India. I will confront my Mom with this since my Mom claims that she knew a Rose in Singapore and in Hongkong.


Hi Pandita,

I got your letter awhile ago, but my schedule has not given me any time on computer to answer my tons of email!   It was nice to hear from you, I think maybe I remember you from when you were a kid!  I don't think I ever met your flesh dad, I think your mom maybe confused me with someone else, as I was not with her in S'pore or HK, but in Greece & I think she joined in India in my home.  I wish I could help more, sorry I can't. 

If you want to write me, please write to this address:" target=_blank> 

The other one you wrote to, I only check like once amonth.  Let me know if there is anything else I can help you with.

Much love,


PS. If you write me, please be a little bit selah in what you say on open email, TXQ!

(reply to this comment)
from Why??
Friday, May 23, 2003 - 15:36

Average visitor agreement is 1 out of 5(Agree/Disagree?)

Why do you care? He obviously did not; you should see a professional to help you get over it. What do you expect will happen when you do meet, that is even if in the highly unlikely chance that you do find him? Some special Kodak moment, maybe you are the heiress to some large fortune, sounds like a cry for attention to me. See a shrink, find some help, this daddy love me daddy will get you nowhere.

(reply to this comment)
From cyborcosmic
Friday, May 23, 2003, 19:21

Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5(Agree/Disagree?)
Why not? I care because he's my biological dad, not yours! I have no expectations of what will happen when we meet. I'd like to find my origins and thats it. If i needed attention i'd definately be seeing your shrink! She's good at satisfying the need! ^_^(reply to this comment
From PompousJohn
Friday, May 23, 2003, 17:25

Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5(Agree/Disagree?)

I think she was asking for information about her parents, I couldn't find the part of her post where she asked for your worthfless assessment of her intentions.

I got in touch with my biological father after 20 some years of not even knowing whether he was alive or dead, and it turns out that due to my upbringing in the family I was pretty hard to find though he did make a half-assed attempt.

Knowing my dad is a good thing, even though he is pretty fucking far from a role model, I learned alot about myself from him.

Good luck, Pandita.

(reply to this comment
From Sharon.
Saturday, May 24, 2003, 09:06

I'm not sure I understand what you are saying. Is Rose Mideast your mother or someone who was FFing with your mother? You mentioned her a couple times but I don't think I understood the sentences. I may know Rose (I believe there were 2 women in TF by this same name) and if this is the right Rose I will try and get in touch with her. I just need to get the story straight before I try to contact her.(reply to this comment
From cyborcosmic
Sunday, May 25, 2003, 12:01


Rose Mideast (her Family name) from Activated Ministries (or The Family) lived with my mom at the time and they were both into FF'ing. We have tried to contact this woman before and she didn't reply, or its possible she doesn't remember. I don't expect anything, but it would still help to know that I tried all my options. If you could ask her anyway I'd appreciate your help.

(reply to this comment
From lost_haily
Wednesday, June 11, 2003, 15:31

Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5(Agree/Disagree?)

I am also a fatherless product of FFing. I am a strong willed, successful businesswoman and I am one hell of a good mother…

I had little to no desire to seek the truth of how I came to be … where and who I came from was not my choice… does not define who I am today, who I was yesterday or who I will be tomorrow. A few years ago my precious son became unexplainably ill and for the first time I realized that I could not complete a Medical History Form, I felt helpless! As my sweet 3-year old baby became increasing frail … I became enraged at the lack of information I had been given about where I came from. Despite my constant requests for any information that might be helpful in diagnosing my son, I got absolutely nothing but lies and/or side stepping to avoid any responsibility for her actions in her "past". I still don’t know if she doesn’t have the information or she is just refusing to share it.

My son spent more time in hospital than out over a nearly 2 year period and endured some very painful surgery. Could that process have been eliminated or lessened had I known my medical history? Who knows… probably not.

Tomorrow my son will turn 6-years old… he is finally growing normally, he is a healthy, beautiful, smart, happy and playful child. I no longer feel like I NEED to know more… I would just love to be able to tell my son the truth someday…

Good luck with your search… I only wish I could help!

(reply to this comment
From Me is here
Monday, May 26, 2003, 12:58

Rose Mideast is my Mom, she still goes by that name. Now lives in Turkey. I don't know what relation she has to Activated (that's those magazines that they give out, right?). So Singapore 1982, yeah I think my very first hazy memories are from there, have pics and stuff, we lived on the 46th floor of the International Plaza (I think at the time one of the 3 tallest buildings in Singapore). We didn't live with you, but my mom would meet up with yours for their 'adventures' I think. My mom told me about alot of stuff that happened there, they used to go to Hong Kong alot. I can give you her email if U want, lived in Singapore several times since and she's still in contact with several of the 'fish-turned-contacts' out there.(reply to this comment
From cyborcosmic
Tuesday, March 30, 2004, 06:35


Something I don't get

Obviously there are 2 Rose Mideasts, because one started a home in India (where my parents first joined) and the other was FFing with my mom in Singapore and Hongkong!

I wrote to your mom and she denies being in Singapore, yet you say that your first memories were there in 1982! Can you send me one of the pictures (to my email) so I can show it to my mom and ask her if she even knew your mom. Maybe its just very mixed up in my own moms head. (reply to this comment

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