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Getting Support : Been There, Done That

Your loved Ones?

from Sad - Tuesday, July 26, 2005
accessed 1368 times

What loved ones? Recently a sinister systemite from the world of blackness tried to communicate with her dad in his wonderful white world of Zerbiness. Here is my contribution and assessment. Excuse the touches of sarcasm.

Some things the daughter says are:

"I doubt that God would be too upset if you were to take some time to help your own family out. Or just to try and understand us, and really look into everything weíre saying"

"I donít see how talking to you about it will ever change your views".

Some things dad says is:

"Unfortunately, I don't have the funds to go around and visit you all again like I did then".

"You have communicated with some disgruntled and vocal people. Unfortunately it is the bad..."

"Family is mainly composed of individuals who want to help their fellow man and help change the world for the better. Any others don't last in our fellowship for long, and many haven't-almost 2/3 to be exact..."

"I'd like to ask if in future communications you could be even a little more specific in what actually happened"

Here is my contribution since I will be fighting the Family in court in four weeks.

This sweet daughter is reaching out to her Dad.

Her dad insults her intelligence and right to have opinions by challenging her concept of reality, then uses authority phrases Ďdished outí through the personality compliance letters from your favourite personÖYOU KNOW WHO.

He reminds you of the self-indulgence he enjoys in his mind and explains to you for the first time (probably in his mind) that the Family is a Volunteer group. Well done dad. After that he happily mentions about undedicated missionaries and how his positivity is positively affecting his outlook on life and he is able to recognize you as a negative person, all in the same breath as mentioning that selfish people donít last in the Family for very long.

In his mind he is selfless, dedicated, positive and authoritive. In his heart, my dear, he is dead.

As you aptly point out Dad won't try to understand you. A sadistic psychological aspect of the Family mind has developed.

You are right to feel psychologically abused by your Dad because that is exactly what is taking place. Unfortunately he has no funds to visit youÖyet he gives 20%, or so, of his income, in hidden taxes and a twisted tithe scales, to the lady who reminds him you are a ratbag.

Donít bother sister. Real brothers and sisters and family stick together and fight together. Your Dad is losing the process that comes with imaginative thinking, originality and the development of wisdom in the left side of the brain. He is basically downloading his mind processes from another person's brain. The YOU KNOW WHO PERSON. He can then respond in black and white but will never really see the beautiful colors around him.

In his mind, he is white, his music is white and his soul is white. You probably went from grey to black in his mind when you dared to challenge the "divine authority" of the person he wants to approve of him.

It would be much easier to feel sorry for them if they would drop this "we will fight you" stupidity and try to figure out where they lost their hearts. They have no right to say they are helping people and the world when they are serving up mind fuuuucccs to their children.

A new tactic would be to always laugh and joke when interacting with them. You know... kind of humor the weak

Just reverse what they do to you. Imagine them as 'pink elephants' or something like that..Ö and get it confirmed through a self directed prophesy. You can turn your heart off after that and just continually tell yourself, "positive pink elephantsí trampling on delicate emotions are not worth honoring", and simply tell them what to do. Be careful, however as they hate orders, are fanatical and may reinforce that "sadistic Moses David element of the Family" that wants to keep hurting you.

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from Disturbing Reality
Wednesday, July 27, 2005 - 06:45

Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5(Agree/Disagree?)
Thanks for your article. Itís nice to see that other people noticed the manipulative tactics he tried using on me. He still talks to me like he thinks I agree with him or will allow myself to be influenced by his babble about how wonderful TF is. Iím not a child; Iím not lying or exaggerating about anything, Iím simply putting my views of his ďso wonderfulĒ organization down on paper for him to see. Iím a young adult, who went through horrible experiences as a child, but Iíve gotten past them, Iíve come out as a stronger individual. Iím no longer vulnerable to his or TFís insensitive views about families and human rights.

You would think that after everything thatís happened in my family, he would have noticed that maybe he was doing something wrong. Itíll probably take one of us kids successfully committing suicide for him to realize thatís heís neglected us since we were born.
(reply to this comment)
From venus_fly_trap
Thursday, July 28, 2005, 08:42

Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5(Agree/Disagree?)

Commiting suicide would only make him KNOW that you went down the wrong path and forsook all the good you were taught. Too many cases in point to think otherwise. There is NOTHING we can do to get them to understand how they have treated us wrongly. If they stay within the mental confines of the cult they cannot realise. They surround themselves with reaffirmation that everything is peachy in the cult.

Only after years of being out of the cult themselves will they slowly begin to comprehend what we endured as children. Even then the truth may be too painful. So for many easier to continue to live in the "bubble."

What is this about 2/3 gone? I wonder what 2/3's have left. Mostly young people I imagine. What is going to happen when they can't even scam money out of the people they are claiming to help because of old age? It will be then that they realise. When they can't do anything but sit and think. Who will be supporting them then? You think Zerby will give back all the "tithe" money in the form of Long Term Care for the elderly? I think not....(reply to this comment

From Suicide
Thursday, July 28, 2005, 11:48

Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5(

I agree that committing suicide will only confirm to your parents that you've taken the wrong path, in essence you've gone the way of Judas. When a member of our family committed suicide not too long ago, his parents found every way possible to justify his death and tried to place the blame on everything that happened to him after they heíd left TF. His parents are evidently saddened by his death, but not enough to spur them into taking responsibility for it and to move out of their comfort zone to change their relationship with their other kids. To quote the bible, "their conscience has been seared with a hot iron".

Although you might desire your parentís love and respect, which is normal, it's going to be extremely hard for them to bypass the years of allowing TF's control of their minds for them to actually give it to you. I believe that there's always hope that our parents will eventually see past their bigotry and change their way of thinking, but it will probably have to come at some personal cost to themselves -- i.e. sickness or just old age. For us that remain with the effects of their choices, it's important to look inward and live to please ourselves and challenge ourselves. I believe that order for you to have a healthy life, which we all can and should have, we have to move on to focusing on our present situation, otherwise the past will eat us alive. Hinging our lives on our folkís acceptance will only lead to more depression and more suicides.

Committing suicide only reinforces their belief set, if you really want to fuck with their head, go to UC and get a good career. Suicide won't put a dent in your fatherís cold heart. Show him how well youíre doing and use his ineptness as your gas to succeed. I donít know if going to UC will necessarily change your dad, but it sure is a better option than suicide. (reply to this comment

Thursday, July 28, 2005, 12:46


They should have reflected before they "tried to place the blame on everything that happened to him after they heíd left TF," on what kind of preparation and support system he might have had DUE TO his time in TF because of his parents' choices. On the peculiar difficulties that we face when we leave BECAUSE OF our upbringing. Some people are so bad at putting 2 and 2 together.

(reply to this comment

From katrim4
Thursday, July 28, 2005, 12:36


While going to UC is highly recommended over commiting suicide, it still won't change their mindset. They'll tell you that your success is all because of your upbringing.

I am of the opinion that the majority of our parents will never come around to admitting the damage that was done to us as children simply because they would have to admit that the entire part of their lives spent in the family was wrong. For most of our parents, that would be the majority of their lives. Admitting that the majority of your life has been a lie, I can guess, is more than difficult.(reply to this comment

From Disturbing Reality
Thursday, July 28, 2005, 13:24

Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5(
Although I agree with your views about going to UC being a better idea than suicide, there are many who wouldnít see it your way. When someone is to the point where they are truly suicidal, they think theyíve physically and emotionally exhausted all other reasonable options. They donít see any hope at all; they feel that death is their best option. Iím not talking about me here, so donít worry. Although I have thought of suicide many times throughout my life, Iíve never actually considered it as being a tangible option. I know that it could never have a good outcome, but some people arenít well enough emotionally to even see that. In my family alone, there have been several cases of attempted suicide, and although I donít understand how someone could get desperate enough to attempt to take their life, I do realize that itís something that happens. I just want my parents to wake up and start trying to help our family right now before something terrible happens to one of us. I donít really want to dwell on the past, but bringing up our childhood is the only way I can think of to try and make them wake up and realize the emotional mess that they have created, how they created it, and why they need to help mend it now. If they could only try, for once, to put their kids above everything else, I believe they could really help-out. (reply to this comment
From katrim4
Thursday, July 28, 2005, 14:06


Well duh, if people didn't feel that way we wouldn't have any suicides.

My point is that if your parents are anything like my parents are, you might be waiting a heck of a long time for them to come around. I wouldn't hold my breath if I were you. (And my parents have been out for over 5 years now.)

(reply to this comment

From Suicide
Thursday, July 28, 2005, 12:40

I agree, we've got to live for ourselves over waiting for our parents to get on the bus. (reply to this comment
From Sad
Thursday, July 28, 2005, 14:36

Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5(Agree/Disagree?)
Su says:
"I agree, we've got to live for ourselves over waiting for our parents to get on the bus".

They don't know where the bus is. What you would really like is to find peace and mental strength...probably not to mention love. Your parents are not a part of that process by their own choice. The reverse of it is that your parents call your peers lost souls with tortured minds... while feeding abuse through bigoted behaviour. It's called a mind fuuuc and the winner is the guy who sits smuggly in comfort while the adversary falls apart.
Why play the game? They reinforce themselves by dividing and conquering...breaking the outcast down. Don't fall apart...and allow your self the luxury of discussing only the things you want to talk about because the 'Zerby response to questions system' may as well be a computer program. It is totally predictable and can be reacted to in a machine like manner. When dealing with machines be like a machine. Certainly don't let a process that is inflexible frustrate you to where you take it personally. Everytime a disaster occurs it gives them more reason to reinforce their sadism and emotional betrayal. Rise above that. Real love does exist ...go find it. What do you really like to do?
Eventually justice will prevail. In the meantime be what they taught you not to be...loyal, loving, caring and an everpresent part of your childrens lives with unconditional love.
(reply to this comment
Thursday, July 28, 2005, 15:13

"Eventually justice will prevail." I hope so. Are your really convinced that it will?(reply to this comment
From rockyv
Thursday, July 28, 2005, 19:32

Justice will only prevail if enough of you take a stand ,they the (cog/fcf)are losing part of their flock(sorry) everyday ,as more and more find what a load of shit their beliefs are.I am an outsider but will stand in the front line, if i am of any use.From what i have experienced an organised few can overcome a disorganised multitude especially when you know you are in the right.The fcf/cog have had to change their doctirine within the last ten years hopefully there are less minors effected with future crackdowns their days of pedophlia and bastardization are numbered and have been greatly reduced since these changes but most of you probably know that.Hopefully soon there will be justice keep up the fight SAD dont give in i hope you get your kids back safely. (reply to this comment

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