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from Vessel Thursday, April 14, 2005 - 18:49 (Agree/Disagree?) You're in a tough situation but I agree with the following comment. Support him but don't pity him. I am in a similar situation. I was born & raised in TF & am not angry but I have also realized that some issues weren't necessarily right. At the same time we have to realize that being raised this way has made us extrodinary individuals. Granted, there are parts of adjusting to life in the "real world" that are hard & downright embarrassing, for example not knowing anything about TV, music, etc, cornerstone songs, icons & such from our past which people our own age are very familiar with...but you know what...there is so much more that we can give & if we take some time to educate ourselves then it's not so bad & you learn to adjust. I've learned to have no shame in asking what a specific thing is if I don't recognize it....if, or I should say when people are surprised I simply tell them that I was raised outside of the country most of my life & am learning. Anyways, hope this helps. Good luck. Email if you'd like. (reply to this comment)

from Sonderval Monday, March 28, 2005 - 11:08 (Agree/Disagree?) Tricky situation, the important thing is not to let your opinions and perceptions colour things, for a start you weren't there, secondly the experience of every ex-member is different and often affects them in different ways, third it never pays to think that you know what someone else is thinking, most of the time people barely know what they're thinking themselves. Just keep it real, you're both grown ups and I'm sure you have issues of your own as well, never met anyone who didn't, just treat each other like adults and keep communicating and I hope everything works out for you both. Remember nobody has the answers to anything and try not to get frustrated and feel helpless if he goes through something you don't understand, just try and be there, sometimes that's all the help anyone can give. Good luck, and of course remember that anyone giving advice is probably full of shit as they don't really know your situation or the people involved, including me. (reply to this comment)

from Fish Monday, March 28, 2005 - 08:35 (Agree/Disagree?) Support him, but don’t let him wallow in self pity. Our past in the family is something we must come to terms with on our own. There’s only so much you can do for him. Good luck, I think you’ll need it… (reply to this comment)