Las Vegas vs. Wall Street

from 2ndlife - Wednesday, December 10, 2008
accessed 156 times

Las Vegas vs Wall Street. Thoughts after a day.

After losing over eighty percent of my IRA, I have started to weigh the pros and cons between the two major financial centers of our country, Wall Street vs. Las Vegas.

In Las Vegas if a dealer or pit boss is caught stealing from you, justice is meet out quickly and efficiently in a back room where fingers are broken and names black listed.On Wall Street the same behavior is rewarded with a promotion and a raise.                                                 
Advantage Las Vegas.
On Wall Street  your stock broker takes what he charged you for losing your hard earned saving, and spends it on Cocaine and eating Beluga Caviar out of Brazilian Hookers snatches. In Las Vegas you can treat yourself to such forbidden delights for less then what your stock broker lost for you.
Advantage Las Vegas.
In Las Vegas your Card dealer will never charge you an extra 3 chips for you losing a hand.On Wall Street even after losing eighty percent of your IRA for you, you will still get a fee from your broker for his help in your losses.
Advantage Las Vegas.
Had I been a sadist and taken pleasure out of the pain of paying someone to lose my money for me, there are places in Las Vegas where I could be violated painfully in every orifice for less then what I lost on Wall Street.
Advantage Las Vegas.
On Wall Street portions of your investments are used to decorate the office of some faceless CEO.While in Las Vegas your money is taken by the Mob. And wisely invested in building even bigger and better casinos and hotels, where you are welcome back any time to continue investing.
Advantage Las Vegas.
On Wall Street your money goes to buy Soy Lattes and Grass shakes.In Las Vegas your money goes to help support the hard working mobsters, who are just trying to make an honest living from braking fingers and knees. (Of people who most likely deserve it).
Advantage Las Vegas.
Your odds on your IRA are five percent a year in good times or losing everything in bad times. Roulette odds are double or nothing, need I say more?
Advantage Las Vegas.
In closing I see no need in investing further in Wall Street. I say lets fire all our brokers, and instead give our hard earned cash to such trustworthy and honorable individuals like Doil Bronsen, Phil Helmothe and Mike (the Mouth). To be invested in responsible and profitable ventures, such as Poker, Black Jack and Roulette. Come on what’s the worse that could happen? They lose our investments? O wait isn’t someone already doing that for us already!
(P.S) I have yet to hear of the Mob asking the government for a bail out.