Moving On | Choose your lifeMoving On | Choose your life
Safe Passage Foundation - Support to youth raised in high demand organizations

Saturday, January 31, 2009    

Home | New Content | Statistics | Games | FAQs

Getting Support : Speaking Out


from atbrussels - Wednesday, September 27, 2006
accessed 1303 times

I would like to know if other people have had problems with alcohol and how they have dealt with and overcome this problem.

I have major problems with alcohol but want and need to change this habit. I do not drink every day or absolutely need one however once I start drinking, I cannot stop. This has posed many problems for me, problems with friends for example them having to listen endlessly to stories of my youth, having frequent blackouts and showing my brother who is living with me at the moment a far from good example.

I work full time and go to Night University, I would say that I am a hard worker and am for the most part responsible, I am a control freak and hate talking about my past until I start drinking that is, then it is terrible and I start talking about my messed up childhood, sexual abuse I suffered, generally stuff that I would not even dream to say. Unfortunately this happens much too often and I hate myself for it. The next day I have feelings of guilt, feelings of rejection because of what I said and it is a viscous cycle that I would like to stop.

I would appreciate any advice or help. Thanks.

Reader's comments on this article

Add a new comment on this article

from sar
Friday, December 15, 2006 - 04:55

It sounds like your problem is with saying things at the wrong time, rather than with alcohol. My advice would be write a diary, see a councillor, or find some other medium for talking about your past. If you get it all out before hand you might be able to control what you dump on other people and just have fun. Just potty-train your mouth.
(reply to this comment)
from danak
Thursday, December 14, 2006 - 12:25



The only thing to do is to stop drinking at all. Is it possible? Alcoholics anonimus claim it is. Can you do it? Probably yes if one day you realise that alcohol will make you lose much more than you can gain by indulging in drinking. Choice is allways yours. Good luck!

(reply to this comment)

From Nick
Thursday, December 14, 2006, 13:25

Well off course you probably could stop drinking all together, but do you really want to???
I mean for a lot of people like myself it's a release to be able to go out and drink with my mates at the end of the week. I need that break from reality and the stress of my work etc.

I would suggest switching to beer and leave the hard alcohol alone fort a while. If your as big of a drunk as I am then beers will not get you quite as drunk and you will be able to maintain yourself better.
Or when your mixing your drinks at home use a shot glass to measure your alcohol into your mixed drinks instead of poring freehand. That way you can make sure that you don’t make your drinks as strong and wont get so drunk to where you do shit your regret. In other words, try moderate the intake instead of trying to stop all together.

Here is a quote that I blatantly stole from a friend of mine on this site.

"Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well-preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, with a cigar in one hand,a drink in the other,thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming: WOW.... WHAT A RIDE!!!"
-Author Unknown
(reply to this comment
From danak
Thursday, December 14, 2006, 14:03


Hi Nick!

I am not promoting AA - just saying they claim that it's possible to stop drinking. When drinking is endangering your social life and interactions with your family and friends than we can't talk about occasional drinking with mates anymore. You and the others obviously feel good about drinking (nothing wrong about that I agree) but he obviously doesn't. Even if he indulges in it he doesn't feel good about it or about the consequences. I think his case is different from yours. I am not preaching against alcohol, just stating my opinion about the way out in his case - as he asked for advice. My friend is psychiatrist working with alcoholics and that's her answer. I know shrinks have bad reputation but she has lots of experience, is a very good doctor and the smartest woman I know. I had oportunity to see my own aunt die of liver cyrrhosis due to alcohol abuse. Maybe she had some good time drinking in the beginning but her end (and she was falling apart for years) made suffer everybody around her - most of all her children. Family is the biggest victim of alcohol when alcohol takes over. In my country I don't know anyone who doesn't know at least one alcoholic or have one in the family - yours truly one dead (my aunt) and one to go (my uncle drinking like crazy). I wish there was an easy answer to this. I would use it in my family first. (reply to this comment

From AndyH
Thursday, December 14, 2006, 13:29

Thank you Nick for more eloquently expressing my point. Everyone has their own paths. (reply to this comment
From AndyH
Thursday, December 14, 2006, 13:03

Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5(Agree/Disagree?)
I'd call that unfair. More than enough people drink responsibly and it has nothing but a positive effect on their lives. (reply to this comment
From ange
Thursday, December 14, 2006, 13:18

Yeah, I have to agree there. Also, it's not just about not drinking, it's about what it is that makes you drink too much.

In my case, I can't sleep when I haven't had a drink and I have to choose between finding a way to knock myself out and getting some sleep, and not being able to function in my day to day life after being awake all night. At the moment I'm trying to choose walking around in a daze after being awake all night a few times a week, but I don't know how long that will last.

Incidently, I have a friend who was never in TF but who is in the AA. She took me to one of her meetings one time, it freaked the hell out of me. It was like being in devotions again. After a brief panic attack I remembered I was wearing trainers and hit the road. (reply to this comment
From Nick
Thursday, December 14, 2006, 13:37

I also have a friend that went to AA. She said it was just a pity party for the weak minded. That and a great place to pick up girls with low self esteem.

JK!!!! about that last part. :)(reply to this comment
From vixie
Thursday, December 14, 2006, 13:08


I dunno Andy, if a person admits that they have problems with alcohol to the extent that once they have one drink they absolutely can't stop, and if they are serious about cutting out the harmful effects that alcohol has on them, then I would say the only real way to get away from it is to avoid drink completely.

(reply to this comment

From AndyH
Thursday, December 14, 2006, 13:27

If that's what an individual needs to do healthy then by all means they should. I was disagreeing with the sweeping generalization he made. (reply to this comment
From vixie
Thursday, December 14, 2006, 13:51


Yeah I know Andy. I don't know why I bothered to say that actually, I mean I know that giving it up completely is what you do when there is absolutely no other way to manage it. I suppose I dislike the rather blase attitude that seems to prevail these days when it comes to alcohol and its dangers (especially here in the UK with its binge-drinking culture). No matter how many people manage a healthy approach to it, there will always be some people who absolutely should not have even one drink.

(reply to this comment

From loch
Thursday, December 14, 2006, 15:52


That is so true! And its always that small percentage of people who should NOT drink, that you can't get through to!

I mean really, aside from filming them, how do you get through to that person who goes psycho/split personality when they drink? They wake up wondering why all their friends hate them, but never once figure out for themselves that they are a bad drunk.(reply to this comment

From openmind
Thursday, December 14, 2006, 17:59

Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5(Agree/Disagree?)

guys I need help, I decided to quit drinking last month but I desperately need something to replace/keep my mind off of alcohol...

I started by doing 'origami' but i'm not so good with my hands so i tried playing games like 'duck duck goose', 'blind man's buff', 'pin the donkey tail', and 'musical chairs' etc. but these games are no good to play alone ... i'm still looking for something to fully replace drinking alcohol... maybe another vice like drugs or pornography?? (reply to this comment

From sar
Friday, December 15, 2006, 05:01

Doesn't being not so good with your hands kind of rule out pornography? (reply to this comment
Friday, December 15, 2006, 07:38

i think porn is the reason he's not so good with his hands when it comes to detailed work like origami! :D(reply to this comment
From danak
Thursday, December 14, 2006, 20:58

good choice openminded! Pornography is the answer - at least it won't put you to a premature grave (same can be said for making fun of other people's misery). Have fun!(reply to this comment
from beerbelly
Thursday, December 14, 2006 - 12:06


Recently I'm the opposite. I drink almost daily, but can't seem to get totally drunk.

(reply to this comment)

from snartist
Thursday, December 14, 2006 - 11:39

I have the same problem. I've been drinking myself to sleep for a couple of years now. I bought a book by the late Dr. David Bryne and his advice is to find something in your life that is more important than alcohol. So I paint and write and work on the house and go driving in the country, etc. Unfortunately I love the Pub and the company of others. Dr. Bryne would my conversations in the pub "stroking". In other words we're helping each other get over our lonliness. I don't have an answer that works for everyone. Google Dr. Bryne, he wrote the book "Games People Play". Good luck.
(reply to this comment)
From randomer
Friday, December 15, 2006, 02:20

and when googling make sure to spell as byrne, usually the correct way :o) (reply to this comment

My Stuff

log in here
to post or update your articles


23 user/s currently online

Web Site User Directory
5047 registered users

log out of chatroom

Happy Birthday to demerit   Benz   tammysoprano  

Weekly Poll

What should the weekly poll be changed to?

 The every so often poll.

 The semi-anual poll.

 Whenever the editor gets to it poll.

 The poll you never heard about because you have never looked at previous polls which really means the polls that never got posted.

 The out dated poll.

 The who really gives a crap poll.

View Poll Results

Poll Submitted by cheeks,
September 16, 2008

See Previous Polls

Online Stores

I think, therefore I left

Check out the Official
Moving On Merchandise
. Send in your product ideas

Free Poster: 100 Reasons Why It's Great to be a Systemite

copyright © 2001 - 2009

[terms of use] [privacy policy] [disclaimer] [The Family / Children of God] [contact:] [free speech on the Internet blue ribbon] [About the Trailer Park] [Who Links Here]