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Getting Support : Speaking Out

To Jules, with love and thanks

from conan - Sunday, May 22, 2005
accessed 2059 times


As a fairly obnoxious, vocal, insensitive voice on this website, I feel obliged to publicly thank the one responsible for my (and indeed everyone who comes on hereís) opinionated freedom, where I can rant and rave, and curse and bitch, and moan freely without fear of censorship or any other form of sanction, on any topic I feel so inclined. Obviously, the person to whom I owe all this freedom and unabated emoting is Jules.

I am sure that many others (I would assume everyone but wouldnít want to make an ass of myself by doing so) on this site can share in these sentiments and so I am doing this; I want everyone who feels that this site has in any way, shape, or form helped them, no matter how insignificant or indiscernibly so, to attach their (screen) name to this thread and show our collective appreciation and gratitude for one who has given so much of her personal time and energy and taken so much abuse from TF and its supporters, and unfortunately many of us ex-members as well, to entrust and enable us with this form of communication and group therapy.

I know I donít see enough appreciation shown to her on here (from myself included) and would very much like to see any and all participants of this site join me in thanking her here merely by adding their two (or more) cents to this and by doing so let her know how much we have needed this site and the interaction it has facilitated to us all in its ongoing capacity to make our ďMoving OnĒ possible.

Thank you Jules

P.S. That includes all former First Generation members as well

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from Mir
Tuesday, May 31, 2005 - 07:09

Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5(Agree/Disagree?)

Darling Jules,

You are one helluva lady. There aren't many people in the world with as much guts, determination, intelligence and common sense as you. I think you are lovely and very, very brave. I always enjoy reading what you write even if I don't agree sometimes. Don't ever give up Jules.

A big hug from

Mir
(reply to this comment)

from farmer
Tuesday, May 31, 2005 - 01:34

(Agree/Disagree?)
I know I donít see enough appreciation shown to her on here (from myself included) and would very much like to see any and all participants of this site join me in thanking her here merely by adding their two (or more) cents to this and by doing so let her know how much we have needed this site and the interaction it has facilitated to us all in its ongoing capacity to make our ďMoving OnĒ possible.

Thank you Jules

P.S. That includes all former First Generation members


Dear Conan, I am glad, it's your article - a very warm / glowing , fine & very justified one...also showing me, that you're really a very fine person yourself, who is not afraid of selfcriticism, my respect & compliment.I said, I am glad, that's your article, because at least I'd have your approval for responding ; ) and chances are, others don't mind my response ...you know best, that we FGAs/ex-culties (dedicated/with respect to dear Nancy) walk on very thin ice, appearing here.I did more before, a year or so ago & really didn't respect the"turf-rules" ( I am truly sorry!), as I meant to give my piece about certain subjects.I am glad, I have grown out of this habit...also in response to one other article of yours, I'd say, I appeared here, responded & annoyed, because I really l i k e Jules site, the people, the subjects & I felt the urge, to set some things straight.

On the other hand, I would like to add one thought in response to the above quote: Appreciation you don't necessarily always have to show publicly, you can also do it privately, which means, it goes unnoticed to you & others.I think it shows much about Jules heart, character & concern for others, the way she set up the website.When you log in, you get a warm greeting (ok, you also get that at ebay & a ton of others, nonetheless a good "plug-in"), you are even reminded, who has birthday...getting your cake : ) , in the user-directory you can choose to email someone you like & I hope people do that every now and then, especially to Jules, who invested lots of time & energy & funds, to make this site possible.Anyway, I used that neat function and can only say how surprised I was, to also get an answer from her, busy as I suppose she is.To me she's a wonderful, articulate, sharp minded, hard working, fair ...lady, whom I wish the very best in her good efforts & projects.I hope, she does take the time though to relax enough ...I know I have lots of ideas & plans, but only limited time & strength.

I would have responded earlier, but I was on a much needed vacation with my kids... one (funny) "highlight" of the journey was a really tall chap in front of me in the foodline with a T-shirt, saying (Dutch?) :" Ik denk normal, denk ik" (I think normal, I think so) [compare that with another T-shirt imprint of one of my coworkers: "No brain, no headache" ..... how come, I have so few headaches : o ]

Anyway, my compliments to all of you men & women, who worked very hard to get a good career/ life of your own & my best wishes to those, who are trying their best to get there.
And before I forget, this site helped me lots, to see, how bad TF really was/is.Thanks!

(reply to this comment)
from Wolf
Friday, May 27, 2005 - 10:29

Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5(Agree/Disagree?)

Yep. Kudos to Jules.
(reply to this comment)

from storm
Wednesday, May 25, 2005 - 01:19

Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5(Agree/Disagree?)
A big thanks to you Jules from the other side of the Atlantic: Sweden. This site connects me to my past and those from my past, all of which is a big part of who I am. After repressing thoughts and memories, I've been finding healing among the rantings and ravings of those who have more in common with me than those who share my citizenship.

I've spent the last years trying to settle into my "home country" (which I've never lived in much other than the occasional "visa trip" or relocation stop over) in order to give my children the chance to grow some roots. It's been hard for me to feel like an outsider in every sense of living. When I log on to this site I relate, remember, agree, disagree, learn, cry, laugh, etc. and all of it makes me feel a sense of belonging, even though it might not be the belonging that I would have chosen. But at least I belong.

Thank you Jules. You're brave and strong, two traits I admire highly.

Jessica
(reply to this comment)

From MM
Saturday, May 28, 2005, 10:46

(Agree/Disagree?)
Julles your from Sweden, were from bro, I lived there I might know you, by any chance r u in Malmo? (reply to this comment
From storm
Tuesday, May 31, 2005, 01:58

(Agree/Disagree?)
I'm Jessica, sister Irene and Maria, etc. I don't live in Malmo. Who are you?(reply to this comment
From internet communities
Wednesday, May 25, 2005, 03:28

Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5(
Agree/Disagree?)
I think it's great too! We didn't grow up in one town within a school, with roots and foundations for the rest of our lives, most of us are in different countries and as any people do go back to their "hometown" for birthdays, weddings and holidays etc.. we have this place which acts as a subtitute for connecting with our past.

I hate how TF bemoan us this and say this is a site where no one has moved on, but I guess they don't know much about being connected with their past-faimly or friends-since they were urged to give them all up for the Lord and TF. (reply to this comment
From storm
Wednesday, May 25, 2005, 08:28

Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5(Agree/Disagree?)

Very true. I've always said that growing up in The Family is like coming from an unobscure secluded town that hardly anyone's heard of. It's kind of how I try to explain the bond that us "2nd gens" have to friends that don't know much about TF. We might nver have personally met, or maybe just shortly while "passing through", or at some camp or whatever, or maybe we just read about each other or saw vidoes, even just heard grapevine gossip.

Regardsless of how much or how little we might know of each other, we still connect on a certain level when we speak, met or read each others' postings. At least we have a measure of understanding towards each other, and often admirable feelings.


A small example: My brother is living in a rehab home after a few years of recklessly "playin' on the edge". After some narrow calls he finally agreed to do what it takes to become clean. He was placed in a remote rehab center in the forest of Scandinavia (there's 100's of them) that houses 80 patients. These are people with both drug and mental problems. My brother's been complaining that all the other patients are totally crazy and he's got nothing in common with them. Until, a new patient got admitted - a young girl. My brother called me excitedly to tell me that there's this new girl who seems to have the same craziness as him, they totally relate to each other. After the first day, they showed each other family photos and realized that they were both born and raised in TF. Without ever having met or knowing anything of each others' background, they were drawn to each other, related and connected. (reply to this comment

From sarafina
Saturday, May 28, 2005, 15:54

(Agree/Disagree?)
Ha! I have a similar story, Johnny (Shaka) just joined the army and has been in boot camp, in his letters he wrote me after all the jerks that he had met a really cool guy in his PLT who had a sense of humor like him, they have been hanging out and competing together, a week later he says this guy and him were talking and exchanging stories and they seemed to be very similar ones.

It turned out his new friend is a SGA and had left the family three years ago. His whole family is still in and he hadnít met any exmembers and was so happy to finally meet someone who he could relate to. Small world. Go figure.

Hope you are well Jules, we miss you. Thanks again for all you have done(reply to this comment
From sarafina
Saturday, May 28, 2005, 15:56

(Agree/Disagree?)
Before I get yelled at, I didnít do anything as I was writing it just kept refreshing the page and reposting. I only hit submit once! Damn this can be annoying, sorry guys.(reply to this comment
From sarafina
Saturday, May 28, 2005, 15:54

(Agree/Disagree?)
Ha! I have a similar story, Johnny (Shaka) just joined the army and has been in boot camp, in his letters he wrote me after all the jerks that he had met a really cool guy in his PLT who had a sense of humor like him, they have been hanging out and competing together, a week later he says this guy and him were talking and exchanging stories and they seemed to be very similar ones.

It turned out his new friend is a SGA and had left the family three years ago. His whole family is still in and he hadnít met any exmembers and was so happy to finally meet someone who he could relate to. Small world. Go figure.

Hope you are well Jules, we miss you. Thanks again for all you have (reply to this comment
From sarafina
Saturday, May 28, 2005, 15:54

(Agree/Disagree?)
Ha! I have a similar story, Johnny (Shaka) just joined the army and has been in boot camp, in his letters he wrote me after all the jerks that he had met a really cool guy in his PLT who had a sense of humor like him, they have been hanging out and competing together, a week later he says this guy and him were talking and exchanging stories and they seemed to be very similar ones.

It turned out his new friend is a SGA and had left the family three years ago. His whole family is still in and he hadnít met any exmembers and was so happy to finally meet someone who he could relate to. Small world. Go figure.

Hope you are well Jules, we miss you. Thanks again for all you (reply to this comment
From sarafina
Saturday, May 28, 2005, 15:54

(Agree/Disagree?)
Ha! I have a similar story, Johnny (Shaka) just joined the army and has been in boot camp, in his letters he wrote me after all the jerks that he had met a really cool guy in his PLT who had a sense of humor like him, they have been hanging out and competing together, a week later he says this guy and him were talking and exchanging stories and they seemed to be very similar ones.

It turned out his new friend is a SGA and had left the family three years ago. His whole family is still in and he hadnít met any exmembers and was so happy to finally meet someone who he could relate to. Small world. Go figure.

Hope you are well Jules, we miss you. Thanks again for all (reply to this comment
From sarafina
Saturday, May 28, 2005, 15:54

(Agree/Disagree?)
Ha! I have a similar story, Johnny (Shaka) just joined the army and has been in boot camp, in his letters he wrote me after all the jerks that he had met a really cool guy in his PLT who had a sense of humor like him, they have been hanging out and competing together, a week later he says this guy and him were talking and exchanging stories and they seemed to be very similar ones.

It turned out his new friend is a SGA and had left the family three years ago. His whole family is still in and he hadnít met any exmembers and was so happy to finally meet someone who he could relate to. Small world. Go figure.

Hope you are well Jules, we miss you. Thanks again for a(reply to this comment
From sarafina
Saturday, May 28, 2005, 15:54

(Agree/Disagree?)
Ha! I have a similar story, Johnny (Shaka) just joined the army and has been in boot camp, in his letters he wrote me after all the jerks that he had met a really cool guy in his PLT who had a sense of humor like him, they have been hanging out and competing together, a week later he says this guy and him were talking and exchanging stories and they seemed to be very similar ones.

It turned out his new friend is a SGA and had left the family three years ago. His whole family is still in and he hadnít met any exmembers and was so happy to finally meet someone who he could relate to. Small world. Go figure.

Hope you are well Jules, we miss you. Thanks again (reply to this comment
from Thanks!
Tuesday, May 24, 2005 - 15:50

Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5(Agree/Disagree?)

In creating this site you have created a society. It's our site and one thing that we have in common besides our unwanted past. Thanks for making it possible.
(reply to this comment)
from Nique
Tuesday, May 24, 2005 - 09:52

Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5(Agree/Disagree?)

I couldn't agree more. Jules, thank you so much for all you do!! You've been an incredible inspiration and source of strength to me. I don't post much but frequent this site regularly and am very grateful you created this meeting place for us.
(reply to this comment)

from Kelly
Tuesday, May 24, 2005 - 08:49

Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5(Agree/Disagree?)


Amen, conan--Jules you rock!
(reply to this comment)

from Lola
Tuesday, May 24, 2005 - 07:28

Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5(Agree/Disagree?)
Many thanks and respect for all you have done.
xxxL
(reply to this comment)
from Lola
Tuesday, May 24, 2005 - 07:28

Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5(Agree/Disagree?)
Many thanks and respect for all you have done.
xxxL
(reply to this comment)
from moon beam
Tuesday, May 24, 2005 - 04:59

Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5(Agree/Disagree?)
Conan showing his sweet side is well..sweet!

Jules,you are a very fine lady. I admire your strength, courage and commitment.
(I also like the layout of this site)
Best regards

(reply to this comment)
from ameliaus
Monday, May 23, 2005 - 19:36

Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5(Agree/Disagree?)
thank you.
(reply to this comment)
from Barf
Monday, May 23, 2005 - 17:55

This thread is in The Trailer Park 
from ErikMagnusLehnsher
Monday, May 23, 2005 - 15:57

Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5(Agree/Disagree?)
Agreed.
(reply to this comment)
from Gothsmack
Monday, May 23, 2005 - 15:46

Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5(Agree/Disagree?)

I doubt that I could ever sufficiently thank Jules for all that she and this site has done for me. I would have never left the Family if I had not found this site and and woken up to reality. I no longer live in a religious coma, but rather have started a real life and have used this site to help many of my friends to do the same. Thank you Jules!
(reply to this comment)

from seeker
Monday, May 23, 2005 - 14:23

Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5(Agree/Disagree?)

It's hard enough to leave the group and survive, but then to voluntarily come out in public and advocate against the abuses of the group and tell your own story takes a huge toll as well.

And then to host a site where survivors can meet and rant and tell their stories is a whole other strain. I think it must be a hell of a job to run this site -- an incredible stress at times. I think that it is virtually impossible to do all this and not pay a high price.

Jules has done all this for several years. Where would many of the participants be if there was no MO? My feeling is that it would be a different world and for many people here, a worse world.

She deserves a lot of credit and appreciation -- especially for not folding when it seemed like both TF and people here were all beating on her.

I sometimes feel that people here are too hard on each other. A lot of slash and burn, without keeping in mind that participants are human, with blood in their veins. In my view it's sad, because it takes away from the potential for healing that such a site offers. Sometimes it seems that the primary activity here is beating the shit out of each other.

I respect Jules greatly for her big heart and her commitment to helping others in a respectful manner. This is not a "cult of the personality" issue, just acknowledging an individual who has done, and is doing a lot of good. There are many others who deserve similar acknowledgements.
(reply to this comment)

from Sharon
Monday, May 23, 2005 - 13:47

Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5(Agree/Disagree?)
I couldnít agree more. Although I donít post on this site often, I read the postings regularly. This site has been an incredible source of validation and stress relief and (contrary to TFís recent ramblings) has helped me begin the process of moving on. Julia puts an immense amount of blood, sweat and tears into this site, putting her life on hold so that she can help other SG's. For the amount of crap she puts up with, she deserves a little appreciation.
(reply to this comment)
from GoldenMic
Monday, May 23, 2005 - 09:36

Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5(Agree/Disagree?)

Conan, you KNOW this is going to drive poor Jules crazy. One of her finest attributes is her humility, and I am always surprised at how such a spirited and articulate and energetic person can also be so personally modest about her effect upon others. At the same time, I agree with you completely that Jules' work here has had a profound positive effect upon many people. Personally, I simply adore her.
(reply to this comment)

From conan
Monday, May 23, 2005, 09:44

Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5(Agree/Disagree?)
The way I see it Mike, everyone can use a few compliments every now and then. She has earned her fair share after everything she's put up with over the years. I hope she'll be able to appreciate that fact and have this not drive her crazy.(reply to this comment
from lucidchick
Monday, May 23, 2005 - 08:48

Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5(Agree/Disagree?)

Well said! I am one who feels that this site has in MANY ways, shapes and forms helped me.

(reply to this comment)

from Ne Oublie
Monday, May 23, 2005 - 08:15

Average visitor agreement is 2.5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 2.5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 2.5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 2.5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 2.5 out of 5(Agree/Disagree?)
Have you recently found yourself on the wrong side of Jules, or somesuch, to necessitate this shameless schmoozing session?
(reply to this comment)
From conan
Monday, May 23, 2005, 09:30

Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5(Agree/Disagree?)

I'm sorry, do I need to have been mad at Jules or had her be mad at me to thank her for doing what she does - give her time, energy, and resources to people she doesn't know and who (all to frequently) neglect to appreciate her for her actions? I think not!

If you disagree with my position, fine; but don't try and make excuses for me or create a hidden agenda of some kind, Oublie.(reply to this comment

From Ne Oublie
Monday, May 23, 2005, 11:01

(Agree/Disagree?)
Trust me, there is no hidden agenda whatsoever!(reply to this comment
From roughneck
Monday, May 23, 2005, 08:54

Average visitor agreement is 4 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 4 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 4 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 4 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 4 out of 5(Agree/Disagree?)
Being as how you were an administrator/maintainer of a "competing" webpage at one point, your comment sounds suspiciously like sour grapes from here. :P(reply to this comment
From neez
Monday, May 23, 2005, 21:31

Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5(
Agree/Disagree?)
lol.. a site adminstrated by Ne Oublie? What a barrel of laughs that would've been.(reply to this comment
From Dr. Dictionary
Monday, May 23, 2005, 08:50

(
Agree/Disagree?)
Noun: schmooze shmooz

  1. An informal conversation
    - chat, confab, confabulation, schmoose
Verb: schmooze shmooz

  1. Talk idly or casually and in a friendly way
    - shmooze, shmoose, schmoose, jawbone

Type of: chaffer, chat, chatter, chew the fat, chitchat, claver [UK], confab, confabulate, conversation, gas, gossip, jaw, natter, shoot the breeze [N. Amer], visit
http://www.wordwebonline.com/en/SCHMOOZE(reply to this comment

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