Moving On | Choose your lifeMoving On | Choose your life
Safe Passage Foundation - Support to youth raised in high demand organizations


Saturday, January 31, 2009    

Home | New Content | Statistics | Games | FAQs

Getting Support : Speaking Out

Was Angela still in the FAMILY ???

from MeMe - Thursday, January 20, 2005
accessed 2267 times

Correct me if wrong, but it seems to me from what I have read, that Angela had to have been on a mission outside the Family, to have meet up with Ricky in hopes of winning him back ? I think Angela was still in the Family when this tragedy happenned, and therefore Maria is denying this and her involvment in sending Angela to Ricky.

Allow me to speculate that Angela Smith was still in the Family when she went to Tucson to met Ricky. Too many things donít add up, so let me tell you why. Because from what I have read Angela (Sue) had apparently just left the Family, and was working in California in a retail job, before she proceeded by so-called coincidence to Tucson. Her boss gave her a glowing report as a worker who was so conscientious and so concerned about all her co-workers, birthdays, anniversaries etc.

So I ask you does this sound like a long time COG/FOL disciple that had went to the very top and was the secretary of Mo and Maria? Yes, as she continued on being superficial and supposedly caring, as a witness of love. But this is NOT the way someone would act, who had just left the Family. It takes us usually months if not years to overcome all the abuse and misuse and brainwashing we had to endure. Usually exíers go through horrible withdrawals in their first months and can hardly relate to life or outsiders when we first come OUT because we have been so indoctrinated while inside. We donít run around putting on an image of loving and caring as would a disciple who was sent on the outside to do a mission for the Queen. So was Angela sent out in pretense, so as to try and win Ricky back, as his guard might be less if she apparently was not in the Family at that time? Was Angela sent outside to get a job working in California, in order to try and meet and persuade Ricky to come back to the Family fold? Maria needed him to fulfill Moís old prophecies concerning him and so inspire the lacking morale of Family members? So I think it is a possibility that Angela was sent by Maria to California to serve Mariaís purposes on the outside.

For didnít only just two days after the big American leaders phone Ricky, that Angela came to Tucson. The timing is just too coincidental to be by chance. Right? So did these leaders send Angela to her death, not knowing that Ricky had tricked them into thinking he was doing good when he wasnít. Ricky had set a trap for them as they were trying to again entrap him. The Family denial that Angela was NOT in the Family at the time Ricky and her met, just doesnít ring true to me.

Again I canít prove it, but why in the world would Angela not try and say sorry to Ricky even as she is dying? Someone who had left the Family would have realized all the horrible sins that occurred within and would have a terrible conscience. Angela if she had truly just left the Family would have had all kinds of remorse, and would not have held onto her innocence, even after being attacked by Ricky. Right?

I know itís horrible to think about, but most people try to clear their conscience when they are dying and going to meet their MAKER. So why didnít Angela apologize to Ricky and say sorry, even as she was dying? Can I again suggest, but I canít prove it, that Angela if having been sent by Maria undercover, would then as almost all Family members are trained to do, see no abuse in Rickyís past, and would continue to blame Ricky and exíers for his violent nature, but see no sin in their past care and sex with Ricky when he was so young. Angela if still in the Family, would then therefore keep on believing in Maria and her righteousness all the way to death, would she not? Angela (Sue) would therefore be unable and unwilling to say sorry to Ricky for past abuse of him and would continue to feign innocence all the way to her death. I personally canít see any other explanation.

I have a feeling but no actual evidence that Maria sent her to get a job, and then told the 2 American leaders that phoned Ricky, to contact Angela and try and set up meeting by so-called coincidence. But it all backfired. And then, this horrible murder-suicide happened.

Maria obviously hasnít shed a tear for Ricky but has sent out Peter to give out P.R. statements to the public and secret accusations against Ricky to Family members. She has vilified him and also absolutely denied that Sue was in the Family at the time of the meeting or ever contacted Ricky until AFTER Ricky left in 2000.

Again tell me Iím wrong, but that makes no sense, as Angela was the personal secretary for Mo and Maria in Tenerife. She obviously took care of Ricky (Davidito) and obviously all the top-level girls at Mo and Mariaís home were encouraged to make love or sexually abuse Ricky. She obviously was one of Rickyís (Daviditoís) sexual abusers. For why would Ricky demand an apology from her as she was dying? If she wasnít guilty? Ricky, unfortunately wanted revenge, but would he attack Angela if she wasnít part of the abuse? I think not? So again, I donít think Maria through Peter is telling the truth.

Therefore what if Maria orchestrated the meeting, and yet later denied that Angela was in the Family, and denied that she asked her leadership to send Angela to Ricky, so as to avoid any complicity in this crime. I mean, she always puts herself first and her power first and foremost. So in my mind, this is the only possible reason, that she is so vitriolic through Peter in the aftermath of the suicide of her only son and so unconcerned about Angela who served her for so many years.

I wish I was wrong, and further evidence, I donít know about, might explain these things, but thatís my take on Ricky and Angelaís unfortunate and tragic deaths, in what appears to be a set-up by Maria and now, a denial cover-up damage control ploy. But whatever, I do hope and pray that the real truth comes out, as we owe it to both Ricky and Angela, and to those of us that still suffer from what we experienced. Iím tired of lies and liars. Tired that the abusers still refuse to apologize for their crimes, and do pray that this cycle of abuse and violence and revenge stops. Love and truth are the only ways to solve the far past, and the recent past, not revenge.

Love and truth to all,

Meme

(If you know of different facts, please post them here, Thanks)

Reader's comments on this article

Add a new comment on this article

from Victory4Jesus
Monday, June 02, 2008 - 12:40

(Agree/Disagree?)
I think these wild eyed conspiracies about Angela still been a FM is Ludicrous, she left to start a new life which was tragically cut short!
(reply to this comment)
From Samuel
Monday, June 02, 2008, 18:51

(Agree/Disagree?)

I don't know if she left or not, but if she did as you said, I don't consider being on the Board of Directors at a nursing home owned by Zerby's parents to be a good way to start a new life.  Do a little more research, and show yourself knowledgable about this case, and then maybe we can talk.

Here's a good starting point.

http://www.xfamily.org/index.php/Angela_Smith

Good luck!(reply to this comment

From Victory4Jesus
Tuesday, June 03, 2008, 03:52

(Agree/Disagree?)
Shame Samuel, you didnt know how much i know Angela's history etc.

YES, she was board of directors, at ELDERHAVEN, an old people's home, she wanted to help the elderly! She then met David and fell in Love!

She then got a Job at a shop, now to me, thats a great way to start a new life...getting a job and helping the Elderly!

(reply to this comment
From DeeJay
Wednesday, June 04, 2008, 18:24

(Agree/Disagree?)

"a Job at a shop?"

Could you be just a little less specific. For someone who claims to know so much you certainly don't divulge much. You also seem don't read or understand english very well. Samuel did state that she worked for an old people's home.

As for starting a new life. Seeing as all of us have some experience in this, and you obviously don't, perhaps that's better left for us to debate.

Also what's with all the capital letters? "Jobs? Elderly?"

Lastly, judging by the screen name you've chosen, I think it's pretty same to assume we all know who you are.....again. Browsing old articles and looking for points to nitpick at. Or are you just looking for another ass whooping?(reply to this comment

From sar
Friday, June 06, 2008, 11:58

(Agree/Disagree?)
who is it?(reply to this comment
From Victory4Jesus
Thursday, June 05, 2008, 03:09

(Agree/Disagree?)
I know English very well considering it's my Language. The home was Run by Maria's sister???...who says she has nothing to do with Maria. So where is the problem of Angela working there???

Even so, If Angela kept contact with Maria, so what...they were friends for over 30 years!!!(reply to this comment
From DeeJay
Thursday, June 05, 2008, 17:44

(Agree/Disagree?)

Then I guess you'd know that your triple exclamation marks and question marks constitutes bad punctuation. I think I understand though. Did someone get their skidmarked tighty whities in a bunch? Don't worry. When I get shown up for being a blithering idiot I sometimes want to shit myself too.

Oh and again, since when did "Language" and "Run" become proper nouns? Also, a comma is not a full stop and thus doesn't warrant the beginning of a new sentence.

Frampton, or whoever you are, I'm so looking forward to another "heart to heart", or more correctly phrased, "foot to rectum". My foot to your dumbass, tighty whity soiling rectum.(reply to this comment

From scarface
Thursday, June 05, 2008, 18:58

(Agree/Disagree?)
Lmao. I think he likes your foot in his ass or else he wouldnít keep coming back.(reply to this comment
From Another helpful tip
Thursday, June 05, 2008, 18:17

(
Agree/Disagree?)

This might help. The waistband does not need to be pulled up and above the bellybutton.(reply to this comment

From Samuel
Thursday, June 05, 2008, 13:01

(Agree/Disagree?)
She's also the leader of the group, you dumbass!(reply to this comment
From Lithium
Thursday, June 05, 2008, 05:07

(Agree/Disagree?)
Unless you own, developed, or patented the English language, it isn't 'your' language. Perhaps you meant to say 'my native language', in which case you may want to put on a better show of using it correctly. (reply to this comment
From Lithium
Thursday, June 05, 2008, 05:17

Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5(Agree/Disagree?)
Oh, and as a personal friend of the Zerby family (the witch herself excluded), I might presume to correct you on your earlier assumption. You might find it interesting to know that Maria Zerby's own mother prays against her. The sister who runs Elderhaven is very friendly with Maria, and it is no secret that there was a general dissension in regards to letting one of Maria's moles onto the board. Did you know that after Sue's death, Maria sent a new ambassador to take her place on the board? Zerby's parents are old and don't have much time left, she suddenly started trying to get cozy with them over the last few years. I find it all a bit odd. One thing is certain, Rick knew his mother had visited her parents not long before, and was hoping to find her there the next time she came around again. Zerby, no doubt, wanted Sue or some representative to "feel" him out and find out whether he'd be a threat to her. (reply to this comment
From Victory4Jesus
Friday, June 06, 2008, 01:48

Average visitor agreement is 1 out of 5(Agree/Disagree?)
For some reason, i doubt you are a friend of any of Maria's family. If Maria's own mother prays against her, than why does Maria visit her?

I think it's just Rosemary who is the only one who dosent like Maria that much, and i say that because maybe she is Jealous that Maria has made something in her life, a Prophetess who has helped more people than hurt people.

I think blaming Maria for Ricky's death is stupid considering it was some of YOU who pressured him to do something about what supposedly happened. You all knew what Ricky was going through emotionally and because he was Maria's son you made him feel responsible in doing something about what happened many years ago!

(reply to this comment
From Samuel
Friday, June 06, 2008, 05:32

(Agree/Disagree?)

"For some reason, i doubt you are a friend of any of Maria's family."

No shit, Sherlock!  What gave it away?

"If Maria's own mother prays against her, than why does Maria visit her?"

How do you know that Maria visits her?  More importantly, where is she?  Because all we need now is the right information in the right persons hands and Maria is locked up, behind bars, and paying for her many crimes.  But knowing the government, they'll probably try to make it easy by busting her for tax evasion first.

"I think it's just Rosemary who is the only one who dosent like Maria that much, and i say that because maybe she is Jealous that Maria has made something in her life, a Prophetess who has helped more people than hurt people."  Do you hear yourself?  Maria couldn't even teach you proper English!  How much education have you had?  "I" should always be capitalized, and while I understand that jealousy is considered a capital sin in The Family, there is no need to capitalize "jealous" when you are writing it out.  People do not make something in their lives, perhaps you meant she made something OF her life? 

"I think blaming Maria for Ricky's death is stupid considering it was some of YOU who pressured him to do something about what supposedly happened."  If Ricky believed thatwe supported what he was about to do, he would have been a lot more open about it on this site.  No "I need someone who has nothing to lose" remarks, he would have just come out and said what his plans were.  What was I thinking when I read that?  Well, to understand that, you'd have to realize that before his last article was written, certain people here had been discussing the possibilities of a lawsuit against The Family.  Those are expensive, you know.  And they're best fought by someone who has nothing to lose.  You don't want someone who's going to drop the lawsuit when the bills start coming due, giving comfort to the enemy.  It was also voiced that a lawsuit would be a lot easier with Ricky's testimony.  That's what I was thinking when I read that.  It is very unfortunate that no one saw the warning signs and was able to get him the help he needed.  I feel like I let Ricky down.  However, I think blaming us for Angela's death is beyond stupid considering it was HER that abused him.

"You all knew what Ricky was going through emotionally and because he was Maria's son you made him feel responsible in doing something about what happened many years ago! "  That would have been great if we knew what Ricky was going through emotionally, as we could have gotten him help.  It doesn't matter if it happened 10 months ago, or 10 years ago, or 100 years ago, it is still abuse, and Maria is still not repentent about the abuse that she perpetrated.  While I was not personally abused by Maria, it would not be correct for me to forgive her while her victims still suffer.

We do not need apolegetics for The Family on this site, so if that is your intention, then please leave.

 (reply to this comment

From Victory4Jesus
Friday, June 06, 2008, 06:24

(Agree/Disagree?)
I'am NOT apologizing on behalf of any Abusers. I get the impression you think i'm a long time member...WRONG!

Infact, i'm just a General Member...does that surprise you, damn right it does because you seem to think I know where she is/or your insinuating i do.

Evidence please where Angela abused Ricky...zero evidence, and i will tell you why, she DIDN'T abuse him!!!

I have freedom of speech, so i'am going to use it on this site if i have to, and I do. Because all you people ever do is constantly badger something that needs to be left alone.

Even if Maria isn't a Prophet or a Great Leader, she still speaks words of truth! (reply to this comment
From cheeks
Friday, June 06, 2008, 21:17

Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5(Agree/Disagree?)
What truths does Maria speak? Which prophecies has she gotten that have ever come true? What do you have to back up you claims? While I do enjoy a good argument I am asking you very sincerely where do you get your information from. Because we have been there and done that. We really do know what we are talking about, if you are a new member, we have read things that you will never see because they were so inflammatory they were burned after reading. I know that you look at them and they seem like good people and many of them are they were and some of them still are our friends, but they live in delusion.

Nothing that they have ever read that was spoken or prophesied about has ever come true. Never, not one thing ever. Evaluate everything your read everything that they tell you and examine the motives behind it. We are not here to scratch an itch, we are here because as we move on to our future we must also examine our past lest the demons that chased us as children follow us into adulthood.
(reply to this comment
From sar
Friday, June 06, 2008, 11:56

(Agree/Disagree?)

Are you for real?  I have a slight suspicion that your character may be a joke, but what the hek. 

What is a General Member these days?  Read the Dito book if you want evidence linking Angela to Ricky's abuse.  I understand you can find it on the xfamily website.  There's a link to that site on the homepage of this site.  You might also find it interesting to read some of what was published in the 70s.  I would recommend that you acquaint yourself with these materials before you choose to further afiliate yourself with the Family.  I think its commendable that you have come on this site.  I do think that you should bear in mind that many of those on this site suffered abuse because of policies by the family, that many people here remember what was published in the 70s and 80s, that many people here know what they're talking about and know far more about the Family, its history, ideals and beliefs than it seems that you do.  We know Maria far better than you seem to.  You may have heard a few things she has said and think that she speaks truth.  Read what she has said over time.  We spent between 1 and 3 hours every day of our lives, until leaving, reading what she and Berg have written.  Once you've read as much of her writings as we have and once you know her as well as we do, then you can have an equal claim to judge her.(reply to this comment

From Lithium
Friday, June 06, 2008, 03:36

(Agree/Disagree?)
Now now, don't you know that 'doubt' is the voice of the devil? Maria hasn't visited her mother in a couple years, not since she realised her family hates her. And to correct you, it's only the sister running Elderhaven who's friendly towards Maria, the rest of her family consider her to be a nut case and the source of evil.
Regardless, of what you do or do not believe, you're a complete ass worthy only to be bent over and stuffed with Jeebus' cock. Perhaps if you beg, he'll spank you too with his 'rod' of correction. I'll bet you'd like that, eh? Go back to sucking 'his' seeds and leave us alone. (reply to this comment
From Victory4Jesus
Friday, June 06, 2008, 05:10

(Agree/Disagree?)
Hmmm...quite Hostile, but what should i expect from someone who is nothing but hateful and bitter.

Makes me laugh how you just didnt end it at the source of evil part, Nope, you carry it on like a jerk who dosent understand life, who lives in stupidity, because you do. I say that because this site is called MovingOn, MOVE ON!!!!

I think your the one with the sexual problem, what would possess you to say you want me to have sex up the ass with Jesus. thats pretty sick.

(reply to this comment
From sar
Friday, June 06, 2008, 12:06

(Agree/Disagree?)
The four last sentences were references to GNs.  You'll understand someday.(reply to this comment
From Lithium
Friday, June 06, 2008, 08:08

(Agree/Disagree?)
Er, you call me hostile and then proceed to call me a jerk who doesn't understand life and who lives in stupidity. And you know this how? Do you know me? Now we all know you don't really have a vagina, (unless you're a female) so how else would Jesus fuck you but up the ass, hmm? Truly I meant it in the most amicable possible way, I was merely suggesting a few ways you might spice up you spiritual sex life.
'Move on'? Oh I have, a long time ago, but it is not for you to tell me or anybody else on here to do so. You haven't the right. You don't know us, you don't know our pasts, you don't know our present, and I certainly hope you will never feature in my future. Therefore as an imbecile who comes on here for no better purpose than to incite anger and distress, you have some nerve to presume to tell me anything at all. I think you're better off having Word Time than stirring the Vandari pot. I recall your "prophetess" admonishing you in multiple letters to refrain from going onto ex-member sites. Or do you not obey her words which you believe are "truth"? Better run back to your "shepherd with the great big stick...badabum badabum badabum..." (reply to this comment
From Victory4Jesus
Friday, June 06, 2008, 10:07

(Agree/Disagree?)
Err...listen to me clearly, if you can. I have JUST joined okay, so i haven't read most of the Letters, just some of the Mo Letters available to me.

I'm not going to say i agree with EVERYTHING Maria says, but i will most things!!!(reply to this comment
From steam
Friday, June 06, 2008, 10:48

Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5(Agree/Disagree?)
Having realised you just joined I feel compelled to jump in here with some vain belief that somehow I may plant a seed which will help you in times to come. I am sure you know the story of how a frog dropped into boiling water will jump out , but if the water slowly gets warmer, he will allow himself to be cooked alive. Right now you are being given the "milk" i.e. the things which your average person would be more comfortable with. Later you will be told things that are going to be harder for you to "swallow". Please ask yourself when you hear them how you would have reacted if they had told you the whole truth to begin with. Please try to put yourself in the frame of mind that you had before the slow emotional entaglement that you have built over time, in connections with sincere individuals etc, that can create confusion within you once you find out about this new stuff. It truelly is just small invisible strand after strand that create more and more human connection and entaglement whihc will make it hard for you to back out when you find out the facts, and you take one more step into the rabbit hole at a time, until you hvae lost your way. Please try to visit the xfamily.org database which is all family publications, some of which are "purged" in that they are no longer available but some like the "loving Jesus revelation" are. You can ask a long time member about any publication you read on there to confirm they are not fake. They will proably not lie about it, but will say they have changed some stuff. Just ask yourself what the friut can be of anything that is built entirely on a lie. Wishing you the best.(reply to this comment
From thatata
Friday, June 06, 2008, 11:54

(Agree/Disagree?)

No paragraphs.

 (reply to this comment

From Samuel
Friday, June 06, 2008, 06:47

(Agree/Disagree?)

It's called the "Loving Jesus Revelation".  Your Queen Maria wrote it.(reply to this comment

From fragiletiger
Thursday, June 05, 2008, 04:10

(Agree/Disagree?)

''I know English very well considering it's my Language." ..????? What the hey now?

  (reply to this comment

From Samuel
Tuesday, June 03, 2008, 06:20

Average visitor agreement is 3 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 3 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 3 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 3 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 3 out of 5(Agree/Disagree?)

You miss the point!  She did this at an old folks home owned by the Zerby's.  Not a sign of someone who wanted nothing to do with The Family or was trying to start a new life.  It sounds more like a sign of someone who is friendly with Zerby and The Family, who thinks there was nothing wrong with the abuse that occured, the abuse that she herself was a party to.

Oh, and by the way, you get to help the elderly by being a nurse, or planning games, or bringing clowns or pets into the old people's home.  Not by getting a cushy spot on the Board of Directors.  Which makes me wonder- how did she get that spot, and who did she know?(reply to this comment

From shikaka
Monday, June 02, 2008, 17:49

Average visitor agreement is 1 out of 5(Agree/Disagree?)
This thread is for taco and burrito comments only. Nachos. (reply to this comment
From Samuel
Monday, June 02, 2008, 18:42

(Agree/Disagree?)

Wtf?  Do go easy on the weed, shikaka.(reply to this comment

From shikaka
Monday, June 02, 2008, 19:31

Average visitor agreement is 3 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 3 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 3 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 3 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 3 out of 5(Agree/Disagree?)
Go easy on the dumb shit responses, retard. (reply to this comment
From Samuel
Monday, June 02, 2008, 20:33

Average visitor agreement is 1 out of 5(Agree/Disagree?)

Well look who's talking!  The only connection I could see between Mexican food and Victory4Jesus' comment is that he seems to have diarrhea of the mouth, while Mexican food will give you diarrhea on the other end.

Got any Nacho cheese, or just cheesy comments?(reply to this comment

From shikaka
Monday, June 02, 2008, 21:24

Average visitor agreement is 2 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 2 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 2 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 2 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 2 out of 5(Agree/Disagree?)

Samuel, I have come to believe that Jeebus has placed you in this community for a purpose. You are here to make everyone else feel really, really smart.

Irony is lost on you. Subtlety is lost on you. Your words are regurgitated from a place where not a single original thought or an iota of lateral thinking ability exists.

I do not hate you as a person; I am quite sure that, if your hair was on fire, I would cross the street to urinate on you. Likewise, I would probably feed you if you were starving.

However, I despise your utter lack of any intelligent sensibility. Your comments pollute this website. You are an intelectual void, a blank slate. I believe that you are slightly more intelligent than a broccoli.

Please vanish.

 

 (reply to this comment

From cheeks
Tuesday, June 03, 2008, 08:24

Average visitor agreement is 2.5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 2.5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 2.5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 2.5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 2.5 out of 5(Agree/Disagree?)
You are such a damn ass. I don't know why you come here and show how damn ignorant and condescending you can be. Do you really think you are that much better? Or is this the only way you can feel better about yourself and your pathetic personality.(reply to this comment
From shikaka
Tuesday, June 03, 2008, 08:42

Average visitor agreement is 2.5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 2.5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 2.5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 2.5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 2.5 out of 5(Agree/Disagree?)

I come on this website because I can, same as you. I enjoy a good dialogue and revel in polarizing opinions. Some laugh, some are extremely offended.

Anything to break the monotony. Get angry. Lambaste me and vent your spleen. Im sick of being politically correct and coddling idiots. I will say whatever I please, whenever I please, and to whomever I please.

Perhaps you were offended by my comment beacuse you harbor some doubts as to your own intelligence?(reply to this comment

From I Agree
Tuesday, June 03, 2008, 17:33

(
Agree/Disagree?)

In the words of Clipse:

Intro lyrics  
(Pusha T)
Playas we ain't the same, I'm into 'caine and guns
Show par with the fishes, make the face lift numb
Out in Panama in that amazing sun, I'm amazing, son
You niggas wonder where my grace is from
I speak with corrupted tongue
Recognized the underworld since I was young
Back in '84 when I saw Crocket & Tubbs as the law
These eyes got big when they televised that raw
My mama should've seen it comin'
Me runnin' up and down the stairs too quick
Hummin' Miami Vice theme music
Called the 'roin made me colder
I see the villains' impact, now that I'm older
Ignorant fool, views ignorant, too
Got a lot of money, keep militant tools
Wasn't present the session they handed out the rules
So I grab a tape and related to life's cruels
The meaning?
Pusha T's more than the semen
Not just a rap name, more so like a damn shame
Nothing's changed, just the crimes is less heinous
The three of us know, yet the shooter remains nameless
And I don't even watch my back
I was raw before rap, and I ain't lost my past
Shit could get hairy, I could lose my-self in a flash
Niggas'll think I'm Jim Carrey how I off that "Mask"

 


(Malice)
I even went by the book at first
Until I realized 9 to 5 wouldn't quench my thirst, so I
Start my mission, leave my residence
Mama knew that I child like me had better sense
But something had to give, that's real I had to live
I chefed that soft white and pumped from her crib
Scouts honor started with my grandmama
Who distributed yay she had flown in from the Bahamas
Partner, please, I grinds, I hustle with ease
Can damn near eyeball any weight in my sleep
I don't entertain hate surrounding the street
If I was you, I'd be trynna get down with me
But no, see these niggas know too much
Meanwhile I rock jewels that look like my diamonds blush
Cats act as if rap fell in my lap
I've suffered heartbreak many times back to back
And still feel belittled sittin' here spittin' riddles
Amongst clown ass rappers who tend to give me the giggles
Let 'em take it however they wanna take it
I'm the reason your favorite MC's no longer your favorite
Hey, I one of the greats, I can't lie
I mean great to the point I'm concerned I might die
Make no mistake, Malice is who you tune to
It's all in the name, trust, I will wound you
 
(reply to this comment

From Johnnie Cochran
Tuesday, June 03, 2008, 14:03

(
Agree/Disagree?)

I'm here to defend my client, because he "beacused" of a crime he didn't commit.(reply to this comment

From Fish
Tuesday, June 03, 2008, 10:47

Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5(Agree/Disagree?)

"Im sick of being politically correct and coddling idiots."

Hear hear!(reply to this comment

From cheeks
Tuesday, June 03, 2008, 09:00

Average visitor agreement is 2.5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 2.5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 2.5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 2.5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 2.5 out of 5(Agree/Disagree?)
I have no doubt of my intelligence or lack thereof. I was raised in the Family and didn't even get a fifth grade education, so your attempt to disqualify my opinion on a lack of my education failed.

Your definition of your occupation is you kill people. I fail to see how that makes you more superior, to anyone else who frequents this site. Why don't you go and get your jollies elsewhere, and come back here when you actually have something constructive to say.(reply to this comment
From shikaka
Tuesday, June 03, 2008, 09:19

Average visitor agreement is 3 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 3 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 3 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 3 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 3 out of 5(Agree/Disagree?)

What does my "occupation" have to do with the price of eggs in China? If I written "neurosurgeon" in the occupation box, would that have lent credibility to my words? And when did I ever reference your education?

Dont pretend that you dont know how to identify sarcasm or tongue-in-cheek(no pun intended) comments. 

 (reply to this comment

From cheeks
Tuesday, June 03, 2008, 10:53

Average visitor agreement is 3 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 3 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 3 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 3 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 3 out of 5(Agree/Disagree?)
If you were a neurosurgeon it may have lent credibility to you words. (reply to this comment
From shikaka
Tuesday, June 03, 2008, 13:46

Average visitor agreement is 3 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 3 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 3 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 3 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 3 out of 5(Agree/Disagree?)
Fortunately for me, credibility is only a few keystrokes away. Observe!(reply to this comment
From Randi
Tuesday, June 03, 2008, 07:05

Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5(Agree/Disagree?)
LOL hard for 5 minutes(reply to this comment
From Samuel
Tuesday, June 03, 2008, 06:33

(Agree/Disagree?)

Shikaka, I just read an interesting article that might explain what your problem is!

http://health.msn.com/health-topics/articlepage.aspx?cp-documentid=100204691&GT=31036(reply to this comment

From madly
Tuesday, June 03, 2008, 00:06

Average visitor agreement is 3.5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 3.5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 3.5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 3.5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 3.5 out of 5(Agree/Disagree?)
LOL!(reply to this comment
from FGA with sis still in group
Saturday, January 22, 2005 - 19:30

Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5(Agree/Disagree?)

Thanks, Meme, for your speculations, which could be very true. I, like you, would like to know what Angela's true motives were. I would not put it past Karen Zerby to send her out on a mission like that as an ambassador for the "Cause" and thus, save herself the trouble of having to meet with her own son, but I also agree with what Moe said about how it takes awhile for someone to "see the light" after leaving the group...especially an FGA. You see, unlike many of you young people who were born in the group, the COG/Family was the answer (or so we thought) to what we had always been looking for. Some of us (like me) were lucky to get out after only a few years and before some of these abuses took place, but others, like Angela and my sister (who is still in there) stayed way too long. I don't know why she (Angela) finally left, but, in any event, I agree with what someone once said to me, "It's one thing to get out of the cult and it's another thing to get the cult out of you." It is possible that Angela had been so brainwashed into thinking that she could TRULY win Ricky over to the "Family", or at least, help him to find some kind of peace, that she DID go there on her own. From what I read in one of the news articles, she was still pretty much in denial as to what part she or TF had played in his abuse and consequent state of depression. Denial is not an easy thing to get rid of, and the lights do NOT come on right away, believe me...much less, as we know, for those who are still in.

Speaking from my own experience (and I left years ago) it was hard to admit at first that I had been wrong about so many things. I mean, I had left my education (I was in college at the time), my family, my friends, everything that was familiar to me, to go and join this crazy group of people who I thought were going to change the world! I had no idea they had a leader who they believed to be a prophet of the endtime and who was a sexual pervert to boot! I was totally naiive to all that. But, after joining, just as they did with some of you, they had ways of breaking us down little by little and taking away any personality and identity that we had and slowly, but surely, brainwashing us into being submissive little cult followers. We were "God's Endtime people, the 144,000"!!! Wow! What a head trip, huh?

I remember that one of the hardest things for me to admit when I left was that I had given 8 years of my precious life to a lie!! And I never abused any kids. In fact, I did not even know that it had gone on till years later. Now, I HAD been expected to give my body to other men in the group as well as "Kings" even though, when I joined, I was a Bible-believing Christian and, yes, a virgin, waiting for "God's perfect mate for me. I actually ended up ff'ing one of the "Kings", who I later married because I felt so guilty for having ruined his life (he left his wife and children for me, and gave me 3 children after that) and lived the next 18 years in an abusive marriage because I thought that was what I deserved!

Can you imagine Angela giving 30+ years of her life to a lie? And can you also imagine her not being able to admit to herself that what she had participated in was so wrong? I am not asking you to be sympathetic, by any means. All I am trying to point out to you is how these people have been so brainwashed that they actually BELIEVE what they say. You know, you probably did before you finally got out. Before getting out, you had no frame of reference. I know, being born in there you had no frame of reference period!! Well, those who have been in for 30+ years have totally FORGOTTEN their frame of reference. They are not so young anymore, and at this point, they have lived more years in than out.

Now, as far as Karen Zerby and Peter (Kelly?) is concerned, I think they know good and well what they are doing...the guys at the top always do. The guys underneath are just poor, lost, deceived sheep. You know, the thing about being deceived is, you don't KNOW that you are, unfortunately.

I would like to share a letter that I got from my sister after this happened and my answer to her, so you don't, in any way, think I am defending them. I am only trying to shed some light on where the 1st Generation COG may be at, and at the same time, trying to make sense of all of this myself, as I do have a sister who is still in this God-forsaken group:

First of all I wrote her:

___, Do you think the "F" may reconsider putting out some kind of thing
apologizing (asking forgiveness, in other words) for the abuses that
happened in the "F"?

To which she answered:

Dear ____, God bless you! I'm sorry for not answering your note sooner about Pete (Davidito) and Angela, but as you can imagine, it's quite an emotional event for us. You wrote about an apology, and maybe you don't realize it, but there have been numerous apologies by Maria and Peter Amsterdam published already. I actually sent you one of the main ones at the time (a few years ago), ___, but your answer was that you had read enough Family material and didn't want to read more. So that was of course very sad for me. I don't know if you would answer like that now. ...

Pete (Davidito) and I were in the same Home for a number of years off and on. He was content and not unhappy with the Family. He decided to leave our Home and actually, the night before he left he and his girlfriend had a glass of wine with ___ and me. Later he decided to leave the Family, but he was still friendly and in good communication with Family members and with those he had grown up with. It was only after he had contact with some very vocal and vindictive former members that he began to turn negative. In time, along with these former members, he threatened violence against his former loved ones. Then he wrote his other and Peter and said he had been wrong in
saying those things. Then he switched back to talking about violence
against Family members. So as you can see, he was very unstable, sometimes being friendly, sometimes not. Last summer two of the dear ones that he grew up with called him, and he was sweet, and said he'd like to see them. They weren't able visit him, but as we know Angela did.

You may remember Angela from Italy; her name was Sue/Cedar then,
and she was married to Monty/Esrom. She was a beautiful, wonderful girl, and you'd never meet anyone sweeter. She was in fact a dear friend of ___ and mine.

So that's our side of what happened, which I thought might be helpful to you.

I love you, ____, and am sorry you heard about this in such a negative
way.

Much love always,


+ + +

And then my answer to her:

____, there is a difference in just "apologizing" and being really
broken-hearted before the Lord for our wrongs and asking forgiveness of those we have so blatently taken advantage of in the name of Jesus. From my understanding (and I have read LOTS of publishings by the "Family") there was never any real remorse for the awful abuses that went on. How could Ricky have KNOWN that it was abuse while still living in the bubble of the "F"? Only once he got out here and saw how other young people are raised (and not by nannies who fondle their penises to go to sleep and then publish it to the whole world; nor by parents who hand him over to the care of others, only to expect him to be the next 'leader' of their sick, sex-oriented group.) One of the last things Ricky said was, "I only wanted to be loved."

It is a horrible thing that he did, and I don't want you to think in any
way that I condone it, nor do most of the ex-members I know. We are just all really broken-hearted that these young people are NOT able to get on with their lives because they are still seeking some sort of validation for what happened to them from their abusers, and all they are hearing is, "We made some mistakes, but we have changed, so, get over it." It is more than just "some mistakes", ____. These kids have been violated in the worst possible way and to say that they are angry and vindicative is right. To say that they are unstable is also true. The problem is, one (even myself, though I've tried) cannot even begin to talk to them about forgiveness because they don't even believe in God, or heaven and hell. What they lived was "hell on earth" and all they want is for the leadership of the family to TRULY come clean and recognize and take responsibility for messing up their lives and help them get the help they need (financially, psychologically, etc.)
_______

As of today, I have not heard back from my sister, nor do I expect to. I can only pray that God will use this whole situation to wake those up who are still in, and, bring justice to those who have been wronged.

Peace to all of you...
(reply to this comment)

from ManicMoe
Saturday, January 22, 2005 - 03:16

(Agree/Disagree?)
Have you the article by Marty Bachman of the Palo Verde Valley Times? It's at
http://www.blythecanews.com/BLYTHECANEWS/myarticles.asp?P=1070028&S=395&PubID=13632

It apparently has some information not previously reported. For example, it quotes Ricky as saying on the videotape "I thought I'd have an opportunity to do this in March but I learned the opportunity was going to arise this weekend" apparently in reference to her calling him and making plans for dinner when she was going to be in town for a board meeting of Elderhaven,Inc.
This clears up some of the confusion about whether Smith went looking for Ricky or vice-versa. Apparently, it was both.

I don't find it at all implausible that Angela Smith was in the early stages of leaving the inner circle of The Family. When one is so intimately involved with an organization like that for more than three decades, it probably takes quite awhile to completely sever ties with it. In any case, I'm sure that all the facts will become clearer in due time.
Perhaps we will know more when a transcript of the videotape is released and the results of the police investigation are announced. Until then, it seems somewhat pointless to speculate.



(reply to this comment)
From MeMe
Thursday, June 05, 2008, 22:43

Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5(Agree/Disagree?)

My name is Meme, I started this thread ages ago, and just found out it has been responded to.

Let me add a few comments as a Christian. From all my dealings with people and life and the consequences of actions, I would say Angela definitely had problems. She was hardly innocent and an angel, even though outwardly, in and out of the Family people pretend to be saintly. A woman of God does not die the way she did. Her history shows why she died the way she did. The Lord doesn't make mistakes or allow such horrible mistakes to be made. Angela was not outside the Family.

She might have left in body, but obviously she was still at the beck and call of Maria. You don't stay on the Board of Directors, unless you have connections with Maria and her family. If she had left the F, she would have been outcast and banned from any position because they would be extremely afraid of what she might divulge.

SECONDLY as for apology letters, the Family became experts as writing ones that accepted responsibility IF there was any hurt caused....why because they never admitted they hurt anyone...only IF, that person thought they had been hurt or pushed to the edge of suicide etc. Do you get it. And THEN, they would shift the blame back to the person offended and hurt, and say they MUST now forgive the F member because Jesus said so.

Excuse my bluntness but that is a God dam lie of the devil, as Jesus never said that. We only have to forgive those that ask for forgiveness and know their sin, and then show remorse and do acts of repentance. These fancy words meaning, people that change, and try to heal the ones they have hurt. the family never does this and they just go on, in their money making ways...and then BLAME the offended ones for being BITTER and UNFORGIVING.

I repeat the F leaders learned this style and format of repentance letters. We got two of them, that said the exact same thing. Dam robots, unfeeling and heartless. One from (Keda) Robyn and the other from Sam Perfilia, next in line to oppress after Peter.

So whoever stated that the F leaders have apologised is full of the lies of the devil and believing that lie. They are unrependant and have literally found a way to deflect all their sins with shallow apology letters with no heart and no soul. They are souless, mindless and they shall pay...and meet their Maker in honesty. Angela went before many of them, but the others will follow. The Lord is fair and just, and He always works things out in the END, and many times before that.

I shall Now follow your comments.

Love Meme

YSBATQWIA(reply to this comment

From MeMe
Saturday, June 07, 2008, 08:52

(Agree/Disagree?)

Strangely, my email says this thread has been responded to many times after I wrote the above, and yet I can not access it or see these comments. Is it on Page 1, or am I missing a feature etc..

Anyway, do consider, that the Lord is in control, and that people reap what they have sown...and this especially goes for those that have hurt others like Angela. She may have been in denial, but eventually this truth always happens because the Lord is just.

This usually can not be talked about on Exer discussion boards, but as long as I have been around I have seen it happen over and over again. Nobody gets away with anything. the Lord judges them instantly or over time or in the END.

I say it is a great encouragement, but most exers have been so turned off by Jesus, when they think the F leadership represents the Lord. They don't. So I say it was pay back time for Angela, because she deserved it, or it was her time, etc. etc. Ricky couldn;t take the pain anymore, and it was his way of getting back at Mo and Maria for a horrible cold upbringing. He couldn;t take the pain, so passed it on to someone who was involved in causing him pain. The Lord knows all hearts and motivations. Surely Ricky is forgiven, surely Angela now knows how much pain she caused and is NOW back in reality.

So along these lines Maria will surely also come to a horrible end because of her heartless and souless actions on others. The Family is somewhat of a missionary group, so the Lord has over looked it because their field workers do, reach some people. For the Lord knows the church people reach so few.

Yet eventually the Lord has to judge Maria, and so I suspect she will try to retire and go gracefully into the night, BUT somehow someway something will happen that will again show the members and the world that she was no angel and that the Lord judged her for her sins. those that sin before all, (THe Lord) rebukes before all (eventually, in His Time).

(SEE New thread on Maria's Retirement if it gets POSTED.

 

Comments welcome

 (reply to this comment

My Stuff


log in here
to post or update your articles

Community

47 user/s currently online

Web Site User Directory
5047 registered users

log out of chatroom

Happy Birthday to demerit   Benz   tammysoprano  

Weekly Poll

What should the weekly poll be changed to?

 The every so often poll.

 The semi-anual poll.

 Whenever the editor gets to it poll.

 The poll you never heard about because you have never looked at previous polls which really means the polls that never got posted.

 The out dated poll.

 The who really gives a crap poll.

View Poll Results

Poll Submitted by cheeks,
September 16, 2008

See Previous Polls

Online Stores


I think, therefore I left


Check out the Official
Moving On Merchandise
. Send in your product ideas


Free Poster: 100 Reasons Why It's Great to be a Systemite

copyright © 2001 - 2009 MovingOn.org

[terms of use] [privacy policy] [disclaimer] [The Family / Children of God] [contact: admin@movingon.org] [free speech on the Internet blue ribbon] [About the Trailer Park] [Who Links Here]