How Many Zerbites Does it Take?

from thixotropic - Tuesday, June 15, 2004
accessed 1536 times

It takes seven. Adapted from a joke about the "Bushies."

How many members of the Zerby Administration are needed to replace a light bulb? The Answer is SEVEN:

- One to deny that a light bulb needs to be replaced;

- One to attack and question the character of anyone who has questions about the light bulb;

- One to blame the mistakes of a few for the need of a new light bulb (and to emphasize that they were *immediately* punished with excommunication for a whole day in isolation and prayer at the local Sheraton);

- One to arrange the partial excommunication of a country where the Family members are rumored to have a secret stockpile of light bulbs (or sometimes if they're getting too many ideas, the restructuring of the *whole* Family);

- One to get together with Family Care Foundation and figure out how to pay Melton $10,000 of the $3 million it laundered that year for a light bulb;

- One to arrange a photo-op session showing the local singing team changing the light bulb in the [CHOOSE ONE: Hurricane Andrew, Ground Zero, Orphanage, White House] while [CHOOSE ONE: passing out some provisioned loot that the Home couldn't use, dressed in a clown suit] and smiling from ear to ear saying "Jesus loves you!"; and finally

- One to explain to Zerby the difference between screwing a light bulb and screwing minors.