Getting Real : Speak your peace
This Achievement Award
from cyborcosmic - Tuesday, September 27, 2005
accessed 994 times
I want to feel that I am loved,
I want to feel that I am beauty,
I want to believe that I am worthy;
Only if perfect,
Only if adequate;
If only I had the best looks,
If only I had the right education;
If only I had the perfect family,
If only I had a college degree;
If only I had an enlightened soul,
Only if I had it all;
Only then can I be adequate enough to find Love for me.
I find these strivings so tiresome,
yet I won't give up the struggle;
I am afraid to stop,
Because it's the closest I can get to loving me.
I never felt more inadequate,
facing this face in the mirror;
In the company of friends,
Standing naked in my skin;
Prove to myself that I am normal to others,
When religion has me painted so black.
Before God I have nothing,
Only lack, loss and nothingness;
The day the old me stops feeling guilty,
Is the day I feel my desires freely;
Gently showing me that it's ok to be me,
It's ok to lose and ok to gain;
It's ok to be angry,
It's ok to smile proudly;
I can enjoy my sucess,
And be dominant with sex;
Be active and shout,
That I don't need to doubt;
I am ok,
I am free;
This Achievement Award
I don't need it no more!
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Saturday, October 01, 2005 - 10:48
I am writing as a friend of a lovely girl who went through all those terrible things from when she was very young.
She was lucky enough to get out of this horrible environment several years ago.
And you know what, I am very glad to be able to call myself your friend, literally! I feel very privileged to be your friend. That you feel free and comfortable enough to talk to me about what happened to you. You trust me and that makes me feel very special.
You know that our friendship is more than just an acquaintance, we are sisters, best friends, soul mates, we understand each other in moment of joy and sadness. There is no judgement because we accept each other for who we are, what we have done, what we do. There is no pretending, no lies, no deception, no false laugh, no false smile but there is respect, understanding, love, talk, laughs, smiles, hugs, just the real us. There is no dependence, just the happiness to meet up and to do what we want to do at that time.
I want to tell you in front of witnesses (so to speak) that I am very proud of you!
You are doing so well. I cannot imagine what you all went through all these things and still you stayed sane!
Dont forget, just be yourself, do what you want to do, be your best, do not pay attention to stupid people and things they say, they do not know everything, nobody can!
I love you dearly little sister.
PS: I think you know who I am by now.... LOL !
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