Moving On | Choose your lifeMoving On | Choose your life
Safe Passage Foundation - Support to youth raised in high demand organizations

Saturday, January 31, 2009    

Home | New Content | Statistics | Games | FAQs

Getting Real : Speak your peace

Have You Gone Selah?

from xhrisl - Tuesday, January 20, 2004
accessed 1984 times

While I can understand and legitimize the need for privacy, there do seem to be an awful lot of people on this site who might as well still be going by their “Bible names.”

Have You Gone Selah?

I don’t know what perturbs me more, those individuals who log on to post a comment under a pseudonym, or the people who register on this site as Jane or John Doe from nowhere, who incidentally, are apparently still there, or fast going there!

While I can understand and legitimize the need for privacy, there do seem to be an awful lot of people on this site who might as well still be going by their “Bible names.”

Let’s face it…just how do you expect to make contact with former friends or loved ones when;

a) you lack a completed profile,
b) you don’t have a picture posted.

Now understandably, there are those who visit or frequent this site that are for some reason still affiliated with TF (hopefully, who through no consequence of their own are unable to leave---such as SG’s who are under legal age, or who as yet lack the resources to leave) this is not directed at you. This diatribe is directed at those who have already left and are wading in the murky pool of anonymity.

Do us all a favor, stand tall, be proud of who you are and for the sake of the rest of us in here who do have the courtesy---please fill out your profiles.

Reader's comments on this article

Add a new comment on this article

from Bones
Tuesday, November 15, 2005 - 14:50

Are you aware that if you post your reat name here it shows up in a google search on this site. It's not that I dont want you to know who I am, or that I want to hide from TF, but I don't want my "questionable History" to be a matter of public record. Anyone who emails me would have no problem finding out who I am. Selah?
(reply to this comment)
from breakaway
Tuesday, November 30, 2004 - 13:34

You said it! It's time we quit being ashamed about our past. No one chooses their parents or place of birth. What matters is who you are now and what you are doing to achieve your goals. I have friends who were born in slums in South America, who ate once a day and lived in houses with dirt floors when they were growing up but who now have a great education and a good job. What matters is that they can now say, "Look at what I started with and look where my hard work and efforts have taken me." Wouldn't it be great if all of us had that kind of self esteem?
If you're making smart choices now and doing things you aren't ashamed of, there's no reason to stay in hiding. We have got to get out of this cult paranoia. There are no ACs out to get us. The fact that we are functional human beings in spite of our past is something we should be proud of.
(reply to this comment)
Tuesday, November 30, 2004, 15:01

Well some of us spoke out early about The Family's secrets while all of you were wherever you were at that point in your lives and we have often paid dearly for it. While in my personal life it is not a secret to anybody I work with or am friends with, some of us are still receiving threats from The Family.(reply to this comment
From PopNFresh
Tuesday, November 30, 2004, 22:13


I agree. There are a number of reasons why someone would not want to reveal their identity on a public web page. For me it's not about the people I knew. I reveal who I am everytime I go into chat, but I'm not about to publish my very unique name on a site that can be googled within seconds.

I do not want my past to define who I am. I do not want people asking me questions about it every day. I find that once I tell someone it opens the door to many many discussions and questions. I'm fine with doing that from time to time with close friends, but I'd rather keep my identity closed to the public.(reply to this comment

from Jules
Tuesday, January 27, 2004 - 13:07

Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5(Agree/Disagree?)

Personally, I would rather that people did not fill out their real names or give out personal information regarding themselves on this web site.

The reason for this is that movingon is a public web site. Anyone in the world with a computer and internet access can log on and read here. Some of the topics discussed are controversial and personal and because sometimes the conversations are graphic, when people type terms like "sp*nk*ng l*ttle b*ys", "d*d f*cks d*ughter" and other lovely phrases, this site pops up. (The asterisks are because I don't want the phrases I just wrote to show up in a search engine). There are a lot of sick people out there, and posting personally identifiable information online is like writing your name and address in a public bathroom.

Another reason is that people in your professional life or acquaintances may search on your name and find this web site. People who are students may not care too much about this, but others may not want their colleagues or potential employers reading details of their childhood, sexual experiences or the bizarre views of the Family.

Other people may not want to be found by old “friends”. A lot of people read this web site without participating. Others may want to write about something or interact for a short period of time and then would rather not do so anymore. In my opinion, people shouldn’t have to feel that they have to be part of a “community”, but that this web site is a resource for communication, if and when they feel comfortable and safe doing so.
(reply to this comment)

From Julia (NOT JULES!)
Wednesday, January 28, 2004, 10:54


I have nothing against nicknames and the likes, but isn't there a way that one can change their existing nickname to another nickname?

..and to banal_commentator: Your nickname is definitely, and I quote, "a reflection of the owner's personality". :-)(reply to this comment

From banal_commentator
Wednesday, January 28, 2004, 12:44


Thank you for agreeing with me Julia. I can not, however, say the same about your common first name. And why are you so interested in changing your current nickname???

(reply to this comment

From Christy
Tuesday, January 27, 2004, 14:14

I couldn't agree more! While it would be nice if people included a little more info such as their age and sex, as this simply helps to see the perspective that a comment is coming from, I think too much information could be potentially damaging. This is something that I took into consideration when deciding whether to give info about which university I attended, my legal name, or other identifying information. Because of my job, I'm subjected to background checks. Who knows if these could include web searches. While I doubt that I would be held accountable for my upbringing in a questionable cult, I don't want to risk any negative consequences in my career. I've also chosen not to tell my friends and colleagues about my past, so I wouldn't want them to find out through an internet search. It's common for people to run a web search on someone they are dating, so I also wouldn't want guys I date to learn about my past in this way. All this to say, I think it's important for people to be careful about how much personal information they share on this site. It could come back to haunt you in the future. (reply to this comment
from Julia
Tuesday, January 27, 2004 - 12:12

Yes, I agree. Although I registered under a pseudomyn awhile back, I reaslised after a short while that it was a mistake. Sadly, there is no way to change your name unless you open a new profile. Is there any way to change this? I think there are numerous members who have more than one profile because of this. Let's also post more pictures - NOT JUST ART!!!
(reply to this comment)
From banal_commentator
Tuesday, January 27, 2004, 12:48


Having a first name as your screen name is just as ambiguous and elusive as having a name like "exister" or "tricky." In fact, it is even more so because a nickname is often a reflection of the owners personality.

Ms Banal Commentator (reply to this comment

From Holon
Tuesday, January 27, 2004, 12:35

Now I'm confused, Is this you? If it is, than there is only a few here that know your name is Julia. So is this Julia aka Jules or is there another Julia? ?????? See this is why I HATE screen names!(reply to this comment
From Jules
Tuesday, January 27, 2004, 14:37

The comment above was not from me. I generally always post as Jules. Unfortunately it would be quite confusing and difficult to follow threads if screen names could be changed, which is why they cannot be. People get to "know" someone by a name (even a silly one) and as we know, it's very confusing to have your name changed all the time. Someone I know recently met up with someone else from this web site and still calls them by their screen name (which was an exceptionally silly one). However, version 3 of MovingOn will allow people to deactivate a profile if they no longer wish to use a certain nickname, which will remove them from the directory. I'm hoping that this will solve the problem. (reply to this comment
from banal_commentator
Tuesday, January 27, 2004 - 09:00

What a banal article!
(reply to this comment)
from cheeks
Saturday, January 24, 2004 - 23:46

If I used my legal name you wouldn't know me anyway in TF I had a bible name since I was ten. And no it was not cheeks. I chose to be anomymous because I don't need for everyone to know who I am. If I know you I'll let you know.
(reply to this comment)
from Holon
Friday, January 23, 2004 - 08:47


I agree with you,I think I posted something about this a year or two ago.Or on the profiles it should list all of your names.

For example, I was born with the name Holon Abiah Coleman,When I lived in Greece they called me "Holly" just because it was easier to say, while living at the "London Teen Home" It was suggested I change my name to 'Patients"Because they didnt know what Holon ment( and possibly ment something bad?)And I stayed Patients till I moved back to the states and left the group, At which time It went back to Holon.Now I am married so my last name is now Richards.

example of short version,Holon aka Holly and Patients.
(reply to this comment)

From neez
Sunday, January 25, 2004, 18:20

& I guess the question remains.. did we really need to know all that?(reply to this comment
From Holon
Monday, January 26, 2004, 06:33

Perhaps you didnt, but someone else might want to know.I would think that most people would want to know who they are talking to.I cant stand screen names, and I'm sure I'm not the only one.And unless you have a very good reason for not using one or your ashamed of what your writing, why do it.(reply to this comment
From neez
Monday, January 26, 2004, 19:27


I guess thats why they have that "about yourself" section under your profile. So anyone who cares can look it up.

& incidentally, you could call yourself Ted8326 & it wouldn't make any difference. You'd still come across as the same person. I'm sure you must have heard the whole 'what's in a name' argument.(reply to this comment

From cheeks
Monday, January 26, 2004, 06:55

Many of us in the family had "Bible" names from a very early age some of us had several. Some people you had to figure out who they were from their parents names or from their brothers and sisters who were older than them. Do want that posted as well? Should I put my parents Family name or legal one? And which Family name do you want.the last five years, The first five years or the middle ten. My Legal name is Becky, my Dad's name was Andraes and my mom's was Karen Hoppick does that help you? Or do you still not know who I am. At this point I'm not sure who I am either. So I will stick with cheeks as both of them got beaten repeatedly in the Family.(reply to this comment
from banal_commentator
Thursday, January 22, 2004 - 19:03

I'm not a loser, I'm just a coward.
(reply to this comment)
from Joe H
Thursday, January 22, 2004 - 18:05

Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5(Agree/Disagree?)

Since satire appears to be wasted on some people, I'm just going to have to spell it out real clearly: Chris, you're a prick for implying that everyone who prefers anonymity is a loser from nowhere who still uses their Bible name. There are plenty of good reasons for privacy, and I think Banshee already enumerated most of them so I won't go into detail on that. Did it occur to you that not everyone who comes here wants to "get in touch with old friends"? Some people are less moved on than others, just let them do it at their own pace instead of stamping your feet and whining to know what everyone looks like and where they live.


None of your damn business
(reply to this comment)

from Nancy
Thursday, January 22, 2004 - 14:53


Uh, this from someone who goes by xhrisl?

Just funny to me!
(reply to this comment)

from banal_commentator
Thursday, January 22, 2004 - 13:54

I agree, alias' and anonymous users really annoy me.
(reply to this comment)
From Nancy
Thursday, January 22, 2004, 14:54

Now banal_commentator that's descriptive and identifying! ;)(reply to this comment
from Joe H
Thursday, January 22, 2004 - 13:29

Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5(Agree/Disagree?)
Yes, I also think that we should all post nude photos. I mean, what have we got to hide? We all grew up in the same cult, we're practically "family". Maybe some of you losers are ashamed of your body, but I feel that this really helps us get to know one another, and puts a face (and an ass) to the people whose comments I'm reading.
(reply to this comment)
From Siolo
Tuesday, January 27, 2004, 22:22


To Joe H,

I'd agree with you Joe, but then you post photos and people make fun of you for looking too buff or something...

I was watching some show on VH1 today (while getting ready for work) and Chyna, the wrestler came on. My 4 year old says "Look mama, that lady looks like you!" Jesus... maybe you were right Joe. So I am now resolved to sit on my ass and drink more beer. Thanks for the guidence man.

On the subject of this article. The decision to use an alias or a not fill out your profile has to be based on a persons comfort level and should not ever be forced. I put all my info out there because that's my style, I wanted old friends to be able to get in touch if they wanted. After contacting a few people that I used to know it was like "Hi, I knew you in Peru...blah, blah" and now what? What was the point of getting in touch? It's not like we are going to hang out or something. Having posted my name and photos hasen't done me any good and I've probably annoyed a few people with it.

However, I'm always pro nudity (because I'm a big perv). So I welcome folks to post nude pictures or send them directly to me if you prefer, after all we are all married in the Lord. Thanks!(reply to this comment

From frmrjoyish
Thursday, January 29, 2004, 21:03

For what it's worth, I think you look hot. You work hard on your body and it shows. Your shots are sexy without overly trying to be so. Remember, little boys usually pick on little girls they like! (reply to this comment
From exister
Wednesday, January 28, 2004, 10:53

Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5(Agree/Disagree?)

I think more people were creeped out by your Family symbol tattoo than by your buffness. On the other hand all is fair in tattoo land. There was one guy that got a bullet hole tattooed on his temple, charming.

Buff is good. Family tattoo is creepy. Laser surgery is cheap.(reply to this comment

From Banshee
Wednesday, January 28, 2004, 18:12


I actually liked the reasons she gave for the tatoo. Didn't creep me out at all. Some people tatoo on themselves things they love; others, things they hate. Like a statement of triumph over what once possessed you. (reply to this comment

From banal_commentator
Thursday, January 29, 2004, 11:52

How banal (reply to this comment
From Joe H
Wednesday, January 28, 2004, 18:42

"Some people tattoo on themselves .. . things they hate" That's brilliant! I'm going to start on my chest and cover my whole body with things I hate. A preliminary list:

Bad grammar
Ice (on the road, I love it in my vodka tonic)
The way the chatroom always freezes
People with S.A.D. who sabotage your polls
Rip off artists
Free Verse "poetry"
Poorly spelt emails requesting my presence in the chatroom
Waking up to pee in the middle of the night
That shitty food they serve at Portland City Grill
The social-climbing middle-class throngs that consume it
Lousy Tex Mex low fat mexican food
Martha Stewart
Alcohol-related equipment failure
The next day's hangover, compounded by a shatterd sense of masculinity
Unsatisfying casual sex with mediocre-looking sluts
Cheap wine
Charles Shaw (actually, I tolerate Charles Shaw wines)
Yellowtail wine
Democrats who won't shut up
Afternoon zombie period, which would be eliminated if Americans took siestas like normal people
Middle class assholes in VW Passats honking at me when I cross the street, though I have the right of way
Bad spelling
Credit card debt
The phantom vibrations I feel when my phone is not actually vibrating (no one wants to talk to you, you loser)
The guy at the gym who screams at the TV whenever his team drops the ball or something
Being stuck in this unbearably bland country because I'm a citizen and can't find a decent job elsewhere
The fact that all my favorite clubs will eventually turn into ghetto blasting hip hop scenes
The thin layer of fat that stubbornly persists on my midsection, preventing me from calling my otherwise impressive abs a "six-pack" with a clear conscience
Cellulite, ruining an otherwise attractive curvaceous woman
Protruding bones, ruining an otherwise attractive slim woman
Spanish spoken with a mexican accent
Portuguese spoken with a portuguese accent
Old Navy
Tommy Hilfiger
STDs (and the fear thereof)
Those disgusting spring rolls with the edible cellophane wrappers that yuppies are scarfing down like candy
Any "healthy" food that doesn't come from a tree or my stove
Loud cell phones
The inconsiderate people who own them
People who refuse to recognize my unparalleled brilliance
People who point out my stupidity in an uncreative manner
Half wits
Dumb twits
Two bits
All this shit

Ta-ta(reply to this comment
From exister
Thursday, January 29, 2004, 11:33

Dude, you need to move the hell out of Portland before you commit Holy Hare-Kare, or contract an incurable STD (sorry, couldn't resist the chance to exacerbate your fear.)(reply to this comment
From neez
Wednesday, January 28, 2004, 17:33


Maybe you can figure out a way to fit Bergs impaled head on the end of the symbol.. That'd do it.

& buff is fine. I think Joe just had a bad experience with a Chyna type. After sex she would grab him by the feet, & repeatedly swing him above her head. Sometimes even b4 he'd finished. & I guess it was just all a bit too much for poor Joe.(reply to this comment

From banal_commentator
Tuesday, January 27, 2004, 08:59

I agree about the nude photos. Why don't you set a sample for us all Jow. (reply to this comment
From Last laugh?
Thursday, January 22, 2004, 16:15


Joe, while we're on the subject of not being ashamed of our bodies, the guy in this clip has a striking resemblance to the photos you've posted here of yourself. to this comment

From Joe H
Thursday, January 22, 2004, 17:58


Uh, I really fail to see how this is insulting. Granted, that guy barely looks like me, and I have a much better body, but are you implying that I routinely get it on with pairs of hot blondes? Thanks!

(I guess it's a pity I prefer brunettes)(reply to this comment

from Banshee
Thursday, January 22, 2004 - 09:30

Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5(Agree/Disagree?)

I agree with you about having more information on people's profiles. It really is nice to be able to hook up with old friends, or even new ones, and to know a bit about who you are talking to. Especially folks who don't even post thier sex, that can be quite confusing.

But there is also another reason for anonymity that you didn't give here (besides still being affiliated with TF, or cowardice) and I happen to claim that reason.

As an older SG, I experienced quite a bit of sexual abuse as a young child and preteen while in TF, some of it quite humiliating (like being constantly forced to suck off your dad, or strip for him when you're just 12). I appreciate a forum where I can talk about (or rant about) what happened to me, without having to put a face to my name. I guess it's just that I am not ready yet to just come out and say, "Yes, this is me, my name, my picture," and then people will read what I write and find the list of the sexual abuse I suffered.

Most people who know me don't know that this happened to me, yet most people who know me know my dad. My brothers and sisters don't know he did things to me, or most of the other things that happened to me. I don't know if I'm ready to tell them. I don't know if they're ready to find out.

Plus, I don't know... it's just embarrassing for me. I know that none of what happenend is my fault, and I am proud of myself for being a survivor, and I know that I have overcome things that many other people in society only have nightmares about, so I know that makes me a strong person, but in the back of my mind I still fear that if people find out everything that they will see me as "damaged" in some way, that they might not look at me normally. I hope that as I heal this will change.

This might not make a lot of sense to someone who hasn't really experienced embarassing sexual abuse or rape, but maybe there are others on this site who feel like me.

But, for what it's worth, xhrisl, I do agree with your post, and I've often wished I could learn more about the people who post on this site. For those who do put their name and face and info, even if you've never met them, you still feel like you know them a little, and it makes reading their posts much more interesting and fun.
(reply to this comment)

from Sonderval
Thursday, January 22, 2004 - 02:43

I'm not gonna throw stones at people who don't, people have their reasons I'm sure, but personally I'd think it's great if people did post more info about themselves. Hooking up on a message board is great but I'd love to catch up with some ex-fam I knew from before irl.
(reply to this comment)

My Stuff

log in here
to post or update your articles


66 user/s currently online

Web Site User Directory
5047 registered users

log out of chatroom

Happy Birthday to demerit   Benz   tammysoprano  

Weekly Poll

What should the weekly poll be changed to?

 The every so often poll.

 The semi-anual poll.

 Whenever the editor gets to it poll.

 The poll you never heard about because you have never looked at previous polls which really means the polls that never got posted.

 The out dated poll.

 The who really gives a crap poll.

View Poll Results

Poll Submitted by cheeks,
September 16, 2008

See Previous Polls

Online Stores

I think, therefore I left

Check out the Official
Moving On Merchandise
. Send in your product ideas

Free Poster: 100 Reasons Why It's Great to be a Systemite

copyright © 2001 - 2009

[terms of use] [privacy policy] [disclaimer] [The Family / Children of God] [contact:] [free speech on the Internet blue ribbon] [About the Trailer Park] [Who Links Here]