Squeeze AND Jerk

from Joe H - Sunday, December 22, 2002
accessed 1411 times

Jesus gave me this new revelation that I just had to share with all of you.

"A lot of you who have been sucking the heavenly penis lately during your prayer sessions have been just, well, sucking. I can barely feel the pressure and to be honest it takes a lot of time and concentration to force out the sacred seeds. I'm sure you enjoy the loving Jesus time, and I don't want to make it sound like I don't appreciate your efforts, but the fact is, I could just jerk myself off in a fraction of the time and get back to my real job as leader of the free universe (the Christian parts that is).

"So my new revelation for you is to stop being so damn lazy and use your hands like good little whor.. er.. followers. Just put it at the base and squeeze AND jerk while you continue to polish my kno..er scepter.

"While I'm speaking to you, I'd like to take this opportunity to point out how much I appreciate your willingness to give me spiritual oral pleasure. It's not that I didn't enjoy fucking you, but you all had a bizarre habit of talking during the act, saying stuff like 'Fill me with your seeds' and 'I want your penis inside of me' and to be honest, it really creeped me out. But sticking my big celestial cock in your mouths sure shut you all up, and now all I can hear is your humming and moaning, which is so much nicer, so TYJ, oh wait, I am Jesus, I mean uh, Thank all of you! Stay happy, healthy, and horny serving the Lord"

"P.S. Anybody who gets their tongue pierced will get an extra star in their crown"