Crazy Headspaces

from Tea - Wednesday, December 11, 2002
accessed 1187 times

Crazy Headspaces

In sleep
And in turning
Visions deep
Of crosses burning

Your arms have grabbed me
And trapped me
And have strapped me…

And caressed me

First relaxing
Then exciting
And finally… terrifying… me

Hands of love
Hands of hate…

Hands effeminate

Hands that now…

Reach down
Deeper than low
Attaining that which I have not known…

My caution and the wind
Wed in the chapel of sin

My gentle sorrow
And silent noise
The inward grumblings
That of a boy
(Or a of very young lass)

Wishing
And antiwishing
And being thus in conflict of
Being and not being with thee

For who moans or groans when loved?
If not moaning the moans and groans of love
And in love cries the cries of cries when crying the cries of love?

Still…

My silence anything but
My rage anything loved

But who thou art
And what thou seekest
Remain my only possession not tossed

If so forward I may be to call thee mine

But if sorrow
Thou causesth
And grief thou bringest
And if
For all my thoughts
I think woe is me… is me… is me

How art thou then not mine?

Verily then are the peasants of God
The gods of God
And if peasants are gods
Then God must peasant be

And thou who couldst not sleep
For fear of the dark
And of tumbling things
(In dreams and in life)
May now find peace
And in peace rest
And rest
And in rest peace…

If thou seeketh it still

For thou hauntest my nights and dreams
(Crazy headspaces)
And I fear it seems
We have exchanged pillowcases

And now…

Onto the balcony
Wind in my face
Three steps back
Just to be safe…