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Getting Real : Faith No More
Get the Damn HELMET off! | from Rain Child - Monday, September 11, 2006
accessed 1783 times So I see this guy for the third time waiting for the train, and we've chatted a little each time. This time he starts asking me all sorts of questions about myself, like where'd I get my accent, etc, then he says, "Were your parents missionaries?" I nearly choke. "Uh, no, English teachers". Then a little later he asks, "Has anyone told you you're very friendly?" "Oh no," I groan inwardly, I've tried so hard not to be obviously over-friendly, but someone else has noticed. He continues, "The first time I met you, I thought, that girl has been raised a missionary. You have that quality of having been brought up with missionary parents." I blow a derisive rasberry. "Even if you don't consider yourself a Christian, you're a silent advertisement of Christ's love and kindness."
I throw him my best, "What planet are you from" look, but inside I'm screaming, "That Goddamn helmet really must be nailed to my skull! Get it off! I was only Two!!! I don't want it any more!!"
Anyone relate? |
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Reader's comments on this article Add a new comment on this article |  from sar
Friday, November 10, 2006 - 13:37
(Agree/Disagree?)
I think I got the helmet off, but there's a gaping hole where the nail used to be and possibly a bit of brain damage....
(reply to this comment)
| from an apostate
Thursday, November 09, 2006 - 15:51
(Agree/Disagree?)
It’s funny; when I first left TF I experienced similar reactions fairly frequently. What’s funny about that is that I lost my ‘faith’ or religion or whatever a few years before I left and was merely going through the motions till I was old enough to leave and had somewhere to live till I figured out what the fuck I was going to be doing with my life.
I used to get asked by a lot of people if I was religious and I was always sort of ticked off that they would think that about me. I made an effort to be a more obnoxious, sarcastic type of guy and those comments disappeared completely. However, when I meet new people, specifically if I’m hitting on a chick and they ask me where I’m from, I sort of vaguely reply ‘oh here and there. My parents traveled’ and the next question is almost always “was your dad in the army or was he a missionary?” So, I usually say ‘something like that’ and then the conversation immediately turns to ‘oh my god, that’s so interesting. Tell me more!’ which is quite possibly the thing I’d least rather be discussing at that moment.
Anyways, I guess my point is, we are noticed as being different a lot of the time, but you can train yourself not to be and they’ll have no clue until they specifically ask you about your past.
(reply to this comment)
| from exister99
Friday, September 22, 2006 - 08:57
(Agree/Disagree?)
Yeah, I'm pretty much an ass hole to everyone by default. People have to earn polite treatment. My typical affect with strangers ranges from quiet indifference to a contemptuous sneer. My prevailing emotion when I encounter another human being anywhere in the sphere of my sensory perception is annoyance at the fact that they are actually taking up space/time that would be so much better occupied by gloriously seductive emptiness.
So I guess, no, I never get the kind of reaction you did.
(reply to this comment)
| from neez
Friday, September 22, 2006 - 07:39
 (Agree/Disagree?)
Perhaps I've missed the point of this post. But if I saw someone at a train stop wearing a helmet and smiling, I wouldn't be thinking 'missionary'.
(reply to this comment)
| | | | | | | | | | | | |  From Oddman
Thursday, November 09, 2006, 23:23
(Agree/Disagree?)
Just for the record, I thought it was funny too. We've got a lot of clever people here who favor dry wit, which can come off as a bit mean. If they weren't here I'd spend a lot less time here, cause that's my kind of humor. Can't beat good old satire, sarcasm, irony. We also have a lot of thoughtless anonymous commentators. Those random comments truly lacking in thought. They serve their purpose as well. For one, they prove that this site is different from myconclusion.com. Secondly, they bring out well thought out and very interesting debate from our more distinguished site members. Amidst all the tangled tongue war here, it doesn't hurt to have one or two truly nice people here. When's the last time one of your comments got TP'd? Shows we enjoy your company.
Cheers.(reply to this comment) |
| | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | From Oddman
Thursday, November 09, 2006, 16:21
(Agree/Disagree?)
I'm making no effort to defend midwife. I don't know her, and have no reason to. I frequently disagree with her observations, and yes from time to time I find her rhetoric reminiscent of family speech. I am merely offering that one is entitled to express oneself in the manner that most pleases them. In the same way apostate is entitled to be very rude, midwife is entitled to be "too fucking nice". If we were all expected to withhold comment until invited, we could well do away with this entire website could we not? By the same token, the reasons for your involvement remains unexplained. Does that go with being "the Barbarian"?(reply to this comment) |
| | From Samuel
Thursday, November 09, 2006, 18:21
(Agree/Disagree?)
That's okay, Oddman. I'LL defend Sara Midwife. Not that I think she needs it, she's seems to be quite a bright girl, but because it's the right thing to do. Sara certainly does have the right to be "too fucking nice" if she pleases, and she has a right to her own opinions. I've found that people usually respond well to someone being, as you would call it, "too fucking nice". There's nothing wrong with being sweet, or having a warm personality, or refraining from using the words "fucking" and "nice" in the same sentence.
I agree, if we were all expected to withhold comment until invited, we could do away with this website. In fact, if Jules and her friends had decided to withhold comment until invited, we would not even HAVE this website!
And the four of us would have to come up with something else to do with our time : o )
Sara, people don't always say when they appreciate you. But I assure you, if you make a habit of being nice to people, they will appreciate it. And you'll have more and better friends. (reply to this comment) |
| | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | From Samuel
Friday, November 10, 2006, 15:48
(Agree/Disagree?)
That's why I said IF it works on someone.
There are always people out there that will fall for any cheesy pick up line. I think most people use pick up lines mroe as a way of making someone smile or laugh, than trying to impress them. If you can entertain someone and show them that you have a sense of humor, it helps break the ice. But that's just my opinion.
Let's put it this way: Guys are afraid that the first thing to come out of their mouths when they see a pretty girl is something stupid. So they mask that by using a pick up line- which is supposed to be relatively stupid : o )(reply to this comment) |
| | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | from Jedran
Tuesday, September 19, 2006 - 01:55
(Agree/Disagree?)
I got my first visit from Jehovah's witnesses a little while ago. It was funny to be on the other side of going door to door.
(reply to this comment)
| from OMG
Monday, September 18, 2006 - 08:12
(Agree/Disagree?)
I was in the locker room of a strip club recently, complaining about how I was not making money and this crazy bitch (who had just asked me to find her some coke) suggested I PRAY and ask God to send me someone special! I shit you not.
I was like, Sure..."Dear Lord, please send this crack head some coke so she can continue partying beyond her body's physical limits and please, show these losers, in the spirit, that I am not here to pick up but rather to pay my tuition so they should BRING MONEY in addition to their charm (or even instead of...) and then I will be nicer to them and pretend we have a deep meaningful connection for as many hours as they can afford at $500 a piece, Amen" =)
(reply to this comment)
| From Ex-member
Monday, September 18, 2006, 08:23
(Agree/Disagree?)
LOL I've found it's easiest, in these situations, to simply reply that I have my own "deeply held beliefs" but I feel it's a breech of etiquette to discuss religion/politics in social settings or with relative strangers. Most people are embarrased into silence by this brilliantly neutral yet closed response and many awkward and annoying hours of propaganda receipt can be avoided in one fell swoop.
-Course, I generally avoid expounding on such beliefs as it quickly becomes apparent that they are on the topic of abolishing driving priviledges for retards and drinking and as such, qualify me as an even better candidate for hearing the "good news."(reply to this comment) |
| | from Ex-member
Monday, September 18, 2006 - 07:21
(Agree/Disagree?)
Ugh! My aunt is Lutheran and when I first moved here, she put me up for months and I felt it would be disrespectful to refuse to go to church with her considering everything she did for me (deposited $$ in my first bank account, taught me to drive in her brand new car and then drove me to my first job interview and work till I was comfortable enought to do it myself etc.) so I did till I got my own place. -Course, this was before I had commited some of my more vile sins that would have out the church in danger of lightning bolts...:) She's great, my little sister is the current recipient of her generosity as she makes her way through highschool.
Anyway, being respectful in church is one thing but the problem is that she found out that I was ordained while in TF by this church in NY and is determined that I should go to this Lutheran College (I currently pay for my own education) on a scholarship from her church and would like nothing more than for me to come back and be the pastor there as theirs just retired and moved back home to some midwestern state.... they are sincere but like, one step removed from all the tradition and ceremony of catholicism. On the rare occasions that I still go with her, I'm just happy they're not pentecostals or some such.
My other problem is making friends with guys...they always think I am flirting or worse...at work (waitressing) they take my friendly facade for real and think we "have something special" between us...eww, why don't you lose a few decades and a few dozen pounds first!!!
And people are forever trying to pray for and "witness" to me. I guess I have a "sheepy" look... I always hated that stupid helmet thing...wasn't that a dream? Who NAILS a helmet to their head?!!!
(reply to this comment)
| From Exerpts
Wednesday, September 20, 2006, 01:47
 (Agree/Disagree?)
22. GOD WILL NOT BE FRUSTRATED, HIS PLAN IS NOT GOING TO FAIL ! You're His child & sooner or later you're going to wake up to that fact, & sooner or later, though God may let you go back & learn bitter lessons through your backslidings you're going to learn also the benefits, that backsliding is a hell of a hole, & home & the System are hell holes & pits!
23. YOU'RE GOING TO GET SICK OF IT & FED UP WITH THE SWINE PEN & THE VOMIT & the husks & the mire & the mud of the System, & you're going to want to run back to the Father's house as fast as you can go, even if it's only to be a humble servant from now on, & even under your older faithful brothers whom you once criticised & argued with & fought against & rebelled against their authority & their faithfulness & their hard work.
24. YOU'RE GOING TO BE RUNNING BACK HOME TO DADDY & TO BIG BROTHER & HOME AGAIN , the Heaven of His spiritual service & fellowship with the Family, & be very thankful for Daddy's love & His gifts & even the eventual reconciliation with your older brother & acknowledgment of his authority over you, he having remained there & remained faithful. Even though he wasn't always loving about it as he should have been, & even though he was a little bit rebellious & resentful himself of the love & mercy showed you by the Father, Home was still better than the Pit!
25. NEVERTHELESS, YOU HAD THE HELMET & IT STUCK, EVEN WHEN YOU WERE STUCK IN THE SWINE PEN !--Even though your feet were stuck in the mud of the pit, your head was stuck in the helmet of Heaven! And obviously in the case of the Prodigal Son, the helmet of salvation proved much stronger in its pull than the pull of the mud & the mire of the pit on your feet.
26. THE HELMET OF HIS SALVATION FINALLY PULLED HIM OUT WITH THE CONTROLLING THOUGHTS that it was better to go back to the Father's house where there was at least room & a good place to stay & love & plenty to eat & clothing & everything he needed, than to stay there with his feet stuck in the mud & the slop & the sewage & the vomit & the horrors of the pit!
33. " I WANT TO BE THE CAPTAIN OF MY FATE & THE MASTER OF MY SOUL ! I know my head's bloody from the buffeting of the Enemy & even the Holy Spirit trying to convict me & get me to bow my head in humility & say 'uncle' to God, my head's bloody but it's still unbowed! I'm still my own boss, I'm still the master of my soul & the captain of my fate & nobody can tell me what to do!
34. " NOBODY CAN GET ME TO WALK THAT AISLE & RECEIVE JESUS CHRIST AS MY SAVIOUR & shake the preacher's hand, promise to come to church, promise to serve the Lord from now on, promise to tithe." Or in our case: "Join the Family, promise to support it & help it be faithful & loyal to the Family & the Lord & support it with my tithe. I don't mind being a part-time friend, I believe in what you're doing & I like you guys & you're wonderful & all that, but don't try to rope me into this thing & get me all tied up with it, I'm just not that kind!
35. " I'VE GOT TO BE MY OWN BOSS & LIVE MY OWN LIFE & BE INDEPENDENT & GO MY WAY & HAVE MY OWN WAY . I can't be under such discipline & rigid control of your Family rules & serving God the way you do. I think it's fine for you & I believe in it, I think it's great, I believe in what you're doing & I think it's all good, I think you're good, but it's just not for me!
36. "I DON'T WANT THAT HOLE IN MY HEAD! I don't want that helmet, no matter how pretty it is, clamped on my head forever & never able to get it off! That sounds too much to me like surrendering my own will & my own self, my own way, to a total control that I'll never be able to throw off again!"
40. SO BELOVED, YOU OUGHT TO BE MIGHTY THANKFUL YOU'VE GOT SALVATION !--That you not only believe in the Lord, but you've received Him as your own personal Saviour & the helmet of salvation & the electrode of His Spirit & the guidance of your life & its total ultimate control, that no matter how far you backslide or how far you try to get away from the Lord, you'll never be able to escape that Hound of Heaven who'll follow you every step of the way & track you down no matter where you are & nail you one way or the other!
41. SO THAT IF YOU WON'T REPENT & COME BACK TO GOD'S SERVICE & His loving fellowship of His Family, confess your faults one to another that you may be forgiven & confess your sins that you might be healed, God will see to it that the way that control finally works is that if you become more of a hindrance than a help & more of a poor testimony & bad example than you are an influence for good, He'll probably see that that helmet of salvation saves you from becoming a worse testimony & saves you from actually leading others astray, saves you from causing others to backslide & maybe even turning sinners into Hell by your poor example & poor testimony.
42. THAT HELMET OF SALVATION WILL SAVE YOU BY KILLING YOU PHYSICALLY , destroying your body that your soul might be saved! (1Co.5:5.) As John said, "There is a sin that is unto death, I do not say that you should pray for it!" (1Jn.5:16.) But that in the case of some, God has to destroy their bodies to save their souls & to spare the World & the Family & others from their poor testimony & poor example, & to make an example of them that crime does not pay, permanent backsliding does not pay, & that God is going to get you one way or the other & not let you get away with it!
43. HE'S GOING TO GET YOU BACK INTO HIS SERVICE REPENTANT AND HUMBLE & confessing & faithfully serving Him again, or He's going to take that life away from you that you won't give to Him--& forever! You'll be saved, you'll go into His presence, but ashamed & raised to everlasting shame & contempt because of your rebelliousness & your disobedience & your backsliding & your bad example & your refusal to serve Him & sacrifice any longer. (Dan.12:2.)
47. GOD'S GOT YOU & YOU'RE HIS & HE'S NOT GOING TO LET THE DEVIL TAKE YOU AWAY FROM HIM !--Or even let the Devil use you for long! Because if you don't repent & you try to jerk off that helmet, yank out that electrode of His Spirit, you fight & resist His Spirit, you're going to find out that if you keep on resisting it's going to kill you! That's a sin He's not going to forgive without taking a collection of your life! Your death will be the penalty for your unrepentant spirit, your rebellious attitude, your sad example, bad influence & even becoming a stumbling block to others. God won't allow it!--He'll kill you first to keep you!
48. YOU'RE HERE TO STAY IN GOD'S FAMILY, BELOVED, DEAD OR ALIVE ! You're here to stay, & you might as well give up trying to fight it!--Because one way or the other, God's got you & He's going to get you and He won't let the Devil have you--even if He has to kill you! So, what will it be with you? Are you going to keep on backsliding, keep on fighting God, keep on trying to pull off the helmet, keep on trying to yank out the electrode of the control of His Holy Spirit, fight and resist His spirit and His Truth, His Word, His Service, His Family, your Godly friends & their warnings & counsel?
49. ARE YOU GOING TO KEEP ON FIGHTING IT, YOUR HEAD BLOODY BUT UNBOWED & bloody to the death, resisting the Spirit & control of God till God has to take your life to save your soul?--Or are you going to confess, repent, humble yourself, pull your feet out of that stinking shit of the System, no matter how it tries to suck you in, & ask God to wash you up & clean you up & run back to the Father's house as fast as you can go!--Back into the fellowship of the Family, back to the joy of the Holy Spirit, back to the food & plenty & warmth of the home hearth & home, even those sometimes self-righteous older brothers who have some lessons to learn sometimes of mercy & more love themselves!
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| | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | From johnson45
Wednesday, September 20, 2006, 11:07
(Agree/Disagree?)
I'm reading everyone's comments and I think they're hilarious! It's so strange how so many of us stick out. I guess you just do the best with what you have. For the most part it seems as though everyone is doing great on the "outside" which is great!
Honestly, for me, I don't think anyone has ever thought I was raised in a cult. Quite the contrary in fact. People at work and in social situations think of me as sweet, principled little girl, probably got straight A's in school, was raised in a nice middle class family, and I'm probably from a nice little town somewhere in the Midwest or something. If they only knew!
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| | | | | from loch
Friday, September 15, 2006 - 11:35
(Agree/Disagree?)
Recently at work someone I was in the process of training overheard me give my rattled off explination of why I grew up in Mexico, "My parents were part of a non-denominational missionary group" blah blah.
He says to me "Really? You seem to be doing really well!" I was just like "Uh thanks?" To which he says "No no, no offence but I had a room mate who grew up in a missionary group, and he was messed up! Had to go to therapy and everything!"
Ah. Through subtle questioning I got the name of the room mate out of him, and sure enough, it was someone I used to know in The Family.
What can I say, their reputation proceeds them.
(reply to this comment)
| from Phoenixkidd
Friday, September 15, 2006 - 11:06
(Agree/Disagree?)
Rainchild, Use it baby--Use your charm and niceness. Frankly I think that there are way too many loud and brash females out there. BUT BE CAREFUL--Men can be dangerous creatures, always check out what they say as far as work, family etc..first before putting yourself in a vulnerable situation.
(reply to this comment)
| from placebo
Friday, September 15, 2006 - 10:44
(Agree/Disagree?)
All I ever get is " do you have a substance abuse problem?".....
(reply to this comment)
| from Nick
Friday, September 15, 2006 - 10:31
(Agree/Disagree?)
I had been going to this bar for years and knew one of the bartenders there. We were chatting one day and both of us at the same time asked if we had ever been in a cult. I dont know why but we had both suspected that the other may have been in the Fam at one point and sure enough we both had.
(reply to this comment)
| from I'm proud to say...
Friday, September 15, 2006 - 07:55
(Agree/Disagree?)
When a pub-after-work discussion drifted to religion the other day, my work colleague asked if I was religious, quickly adding "I couldn't imagine you ever being religious - you're not, are you?"
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| | | | | | | | | | from vixen
Friday, September 15, 2006 - 07:31
(Agree/Disagree?)
No, thank fuck!
(reply to this comment)
| From Rain Child
Friday, September 15, 2006, 14:39
(Agree/Disagree?)
Well believe it or not this is not at all the first time something like this has happened to me.
The first time was during my 'party girl' phase when I was feeling about as far away from God as it is possible to feel. I was working at a restaurant, and we used to host weddings & functions. So I'm doing this one wedding, and I really like to look after people properly when I'm a waitress, and make sure they all feel happy, etc. So suddenly the mother calls me over and asks, "Excuse me, but you're a Christian, aren't you?" "Ah..no..I was though." "I knew it!" she said, "you have the light of God in your eyes." after that I kept bumping into that family, and they kept 'witnessing' to me, telling me that I was God's lost little child and he wasn't going to let me go. Scary thing was, I half believed them.
Then later when I thought I was so over all that and so immune, I was working in childcare, and a lady who worked with me suddenly said, "you've been raised a Christian, haven't you?" I was like "Yeah..So? I'm not into it anymore." She started witnessing to me all the time, and finally I droned out it a bored voice, "Look I know all that...salvation is a free gift, just accept Jesus Christ, yadda yadda yadda" She looked astonished. "Then you know! you know the truth! Unto who much has been given of the same much shall be required!" (My least favourite Bible verse, it's one of those 'binding' ones that infuses you with guilt, along with "their blood shall be required at thy hands") So she said, "I bet your mother is praying for you night & day to come back to the Lord!" (As a matter of fact, she was, she told me everytime I spoke to her) So that lady considered me a real backslider, and her special "Prayer burden".
The odd thing is, she only picked on me. I don't think anyone else even knew she was religious.
Like I said, "Get the helmet off"(reply to this comment) |
| | From lisa
Sunday, September 17, 2006, 02:52
(Agree/Disagree?)
Do you remember that story about the young christian girl in roman times? She runs off with a nobleman in the market place, till one fine day she watches her family get fed to the lions and jumps in afterwards with a special little speach. When I first left I felt like I was her 'enjoying the pleasures of sin for a season' as it were. I also seem to atract weirdos, who feel the need to bring me back to the fold. I think it's becuase we're too polite to just tell them to rack off. (reply to this comment) |
| | | | | | | | from Removed
Friday, September 15, 2006 - 01:34
(Agree/Disagree?)
[Removed at author's request]
(reply to this comment)
| From Conqueror of Uranus
Friday, September 15, 2006, 02:08
(Agree/Disagree?)
Same here.
When I first started going to a public school, I thought I had the "moral superiority" over these "shallow empty-hearted system kids".
I soon realized that I was one of the shallowest, immature, incosiderate ones there.
Now as an outsider, it bothers me to see family kids acting like ill-mannered dicks under the reassurance that they are some sort of "Intergritus Maximus". It bothers me even more when I remember that I used to be just like that, complete with a "God is on our side, Man's laws and customs are there to supress our fire" mentality.(reply to this comment) |
| | | | | | | | From Conqueror of Uranus
Saturday, September 16, 2006, 22:36
(Agree/Disagree?)
Yes, the attitude that Family members have towards gays and women is hard to look at without cringing.
Found a parody article about some attitudes that Christians hold against gays:
I was at a nice restaurant with my wife the other night. There were these two guys at a table next to us. They looked fairly normal, but I thought by the way they dressed, and the way they styled their hair that they were "that way". So I kept my eye on them. Sure enough, as soon as their meals came they started praying right there at a table not ten feet away from us. How were we supposed to eat with that going on? Don't those people have special clubs or something where they can go?
What I really hate is the way they influence the media. I'm not talking about the ones with their own shows. I can spot those a mile away, and avoid them. I'm talking about the ones who sneak their insane agenda into supposedly factual news stories. How often have you seen something like this on the news?
Reporter: "You've just lost your house and everything you own. How do you feel."
Victim: "I just thank the LORD everyone made it out okay, especially my little foofoo."
Meanwhile, in the background you see the firefighter who actually saved little foofoo being treated for his injuries, with the LORD nowhere to be seen.
But I digress. My point is that we shouldn't hate these people, but pity them. We should try to help them see past their delusions when we can. When we can't help them, we should just leave them alone...unless they run for public office, or want to teach in a public school or...(reply to this comment) |
| | From Rain Child
Monday, September 18, 2006, 00:19
(Agree/Disagree?)
A few days ago I saw a man praying over a lady in the train station. She was standing there with her head bowed, eyes closed, and he had both hands on her head. I could hear the "Amens". I shuddered with horror. I can't imagine why seeing such a thing had such an effect on me. I couldn't decide which was worse, that or the mother I'd just seen shouting at her child to shut up. (Of course the mother was worse, but my reactions were similar, to my astonishment.)(reply to this comment) |
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