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Getting Real : Ask Alf
ALF HITS BACK | from Alf - Wednesday, September 25, 2002
accessed 822 times – My rebuttal/Letter to a backslider Ok while trawling through the moving on site, I couldn’t help but notice some folks detracting from my message, or just generally doubting my closer connection with God. Frankly I think it stinks and I’ve prayed about it and me and the Lord have decided to do some things.
Firstly your loving prophet is instituting a standing offer to all of his sheep. You all know the story of the lamb that had to get his little legs broken so he’d follow the shepherd that little bit closer? Well your loving shepherd is willing to sacrifice his time and effort to personally break your legs if that’s what helps you follow that little bit closer. Anytime anyplace within a 2 hr journey from London. It will all be done in the strictest LOVE of course.
Secondly I’d like to talk about some of this bunch of bad apples, murmerers, problem cases and girls who wouldn’t(should’nt and won’t). Jules aside of course, since she does give me a platform to send the letters to you kids and her traumatic testimony was so harrowing I feel sorry for her even though she did ritually humiliate me as an adolescent. No, the people that really get my goat are the pretensious wannabe high brow twats, they’ve plumbed new depths even for movingon. Firstly the criminally poor ‘creative writing’ now with the art(?) and always banging on about themselves being lawyers or some other dismal white collar job. Anyone give a shit? Thought not. Trying to wear intelligence on your sleeve? Here’s some sophomoric advice, FUCK UP DIPSHITS! I love you my children.
Love in Alf |
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Reader's comments on this article Add a new comment on this article |  from himwotcleansdaloos
Monday, March 03, 2003 - 10:21
(Agree/Disagree?)
Alf, I know where you live, so if your not careful I will be the one breaking your Ikle Lamb Leggs.
Neir, funny stuff Toss Pot
(reply to this comment)
| from Wolf
Saturday, September 28, 2002 - 04:21
(Agree/Disagree?)
Craven, let the vile prophet rave on. His trash is pretty much the only thing worth reading on this site.
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| | | | | | | | | | | | | from Jules
Thursday, September 26, 2002 - 10:16
(Agree/Disagree?)
Ok, not to make this about me, but I think I have to say something here. While I really and truly appreciate the support, I think this has officially reached the scary stage.
Sorry Jo, (she has been working on a business plan for "Buy a Lock of Jules' Hair Inc." ) but Alf, I really miss the good ol' throw-some-insults-at-Jules days. I've tried to get into it with Joe, and even tried to tackle the American political issue, which has always been good for some action. Not a bite, except for a lone post from Alby. Honestly, what does a girl have to do to pick a fight around here?
In all seriousness, I try not to engage in insults or fighting for it's own sake, but the debates with the astute and intelligent participants here was one of the most enjoyable things about this site for me.
(reply to this comment)
| | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | |  From monkeyfart
Thursday, October 03, 2002, 01:14
(Agree/Disagree?)
Don't let her get you down Joe. - Keep baiting that hook, casting out & wait to see what kind of "Fish" you reel in. Just remember the better the fish the bigger the bitch it is getting them hooked!! Anywhoo, don't let one fastidious fish get you down. Just KGFG and "Keep on Keeping on" till your "dying day", or till you find that "Gold" at the end of the rainbow. - Love in Jesus and Mooses David.(reply to this comment) |
| | from Alf lost his urinals in a tragic farming accident
Thursday, September 26, 2002 - 09:22
(Agree/Disagree?)
Alf,
I'd rather wear intelligence on my sleeve than lame attempts at humor that are devoid of wit while adding disclaimers to the effect of "it's not funny cause it's British".
I was told to expect eloquence, but wasn't dumb enough to hope for it.
Was also told to expect hillarity but you probably haven't been funny since Jules embarassed you as a kid.
Y'know what's funny? That you are willing to play foil to yourself and pat yourself on the back with multiple accounts and other sub-minions.
That's funny, pathetic but funny.
Go create another disciple. ;-)
Craven de Kere
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| | | | | | | From Craven plays the hateful role
Friday, September 27, 2002, 19:01
(Agree/Disagree?)
Alf,
I was very clear, re-read it if you are in doubt as to my opinion.
And no, I was not disappointed because my expectations in regard to your capacity for humor were never high. You have the wit of a pre-pubescent twit and only your peers in vulgarity find anything risible about your incessant attempts to make a fool of yourself in public and penchant for uncalled-for animosity.
No I am not taking you up on your stupid offer. This should be a situation you are familiar with.
Regards(reply to this comment) |
| | | | | from monkeyfart
Thursday, September 26, 2002 - 09:13
(Agree/Disagree?)
Paraphrased article: Alf hits back.- A loving shepherd with a spirit led offer to break your leg(s) if caught traveling near London.
Good stuff here Uncle Alf, by the way- “FUCK UP DIPSHITS”? – Just to confirm does this mean you prefer not only Gay sex but preferably Gay sex with the intellectually impaired?
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| | | | | | | | | | | | | from SunnyfuckingJames
Thursday, September 26, 2002 - 08:58
(Agree/Disagree?)
God fuck yourself! Have a nice day:)
(reply to this comment)
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