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from Jesus Crust Tuesday, January 24, 2006 - 09:15 (Agree/Disagree?) I met her in a club down in old soho Where you drink champagne and it tastes just like cherry-cola C-o-l-a cola She walked up to me and she asked me to dance I asked her her name and in a dark brown voice she said lola L-o-l-a lola lo-lo-lo-lo lola Well I’m not the world’s most physical guy But when she squeezed me tight she nearly broke my spine Oh my lola lo-lo-lo-lo lola Well I’m not dumb but I can’t understand Why she walked like a woman and talked like a man Oh my lola lo-lo-lo-lo lola lo-lo-lo-lo lola Well we drank champagne and danced all night Under electric candlelight She picked me up and sat me on her knee And said dear boy won’t you come home with me Well I’m not the world’s most passionate guy But when I looked in her eyes well I almost fell for my lola Lo-lo-lo-lo lola lo-lo-lo-lo lola Lola lo-lo-lo-lo lola lo-lo-lo-lo lola I pushed her away I walked to the door I fell to the floor I got down on my knees Then I looked at her and she at me Well that’s the way that I want it to stay And I always want it to be that way for my lola Lo-lo-lo-lo lola Girls will be boys and boys will be girls It’s a mixed up muddled up shook up world except for lola Lo-lo-lo-lo lola Well I left home just a week before And I’d never ever kissed a woman before But lola smiled and took me by the hand And said dear boy I’m gonna make you a man Well I’m not the world’s most masculine man But I know what I am and I’m glad I’m a man And so is lola Lo-lo-lo-lo lola lo-lo-lo-lo lola Lola lo-lo-lo-lo lola lo-lo-lo-lo lola Now that art gay, but it doth be a great song! (reply to this comment)

from banal_commentator Monday, March 07, 2005 - 08:51 (Agree/Disagree?) Everyone just needs to start saying 'banal' instead of 'gay' and we can solve this little crises. (reply to this comment)

From Eric Cartman Tuesday, January 24, 2006, 09:51 (Agree/Disagree?) You can be a homophobic gay basher, but you can't be a banalphobic banalbasher. Isn't that right Mr. Hat?(reply to this comment)

From Mr. Mackey Tuesday, January 24, 2006, 10:13 (Agree/Disagree?) Hmmm, yeah. See kids banal bashing is bad, Mmmkay.(reply to this comment)

from conan Monday, March 07, 2005 - 07:52 (Agree/Disagree?) Sounds to me like someone here is what they seem to be attackin (questioning): a homophobic, anal retentive dweeb. Do you even know ten ex members man? Or were your numbers merel drawn from a hat. I guess the reason that this topis hasn't been discussed in length on this site before is the fact that probably most of us ex members who frequent this site are very secure in our sexuality (whatever that may be). I know some homophobic ex-members (one or two to be more accurate) but most of the ex-members I know have absolutely no feelings of 'mistrust' or 'insecurity' around people who have different sexual tendancies. I know more 'systemites' who are homophobic then almost every ex member I know (exluding the two I previously mentioned). I am not gay, but have no misguided attitudes toward the gay community. Oh, and yes your article was gay (shitty) but this site is not (neither shitty gay or homosexual gay). If you need to work out your sexuallity issues, please see a shrink or address this prolem in other ways than making blanket statements about 70% (that's the percent of 7 out oof ten in case you were unawre) of us ex-members being either closeted gays (homosexuals) or homophobs. My guess is you're dying to come out of the closet but can't do so without knowing there are other male ex-members who openly are too. Get over your own pent up misguided cult prejudices and but-fuck some dude already!! (reply to this comment)

From conan Monday, March 07, 2005, 07:55 (Agree/Disagree?) Excuse the spelling mistakes...I'm usually more careful. That should read 'attacking' (first line) and 'merely' (second line) and of course 'of' (third line of the second paragraph).(reply to this comment)

From Jerseygirl Monday, March 07, 2005, 09:06 (Agree/Disagree?) We still love you Conan! (reply to this comment)

From conan Monday, March 07, 2005, 07:54 (Agree/Disagree?) Excuse the spelling mistakes...I'm usually more careful. That should read attacking (first line) and merely (second line) and of course of (third line of the second paragraph).(reply to this comment)

from Just a girl Wednesday, January 26, 2005 - 09:16 (Agree/Disagree?) Very interresting! I have actually turned out having lot of gay friends, I even had fun with bisexuality myself. I think initially when leaving the Fam. at first it was a little uncomfortable to be around some such "gay" persons, because of all the constantly being told how to think of it as being supposidly "evil" all our lives without being given a chance to make our own decision on the matter. It took me a while to feel comfortable because i was experiencing so many different "new" things all at once. I mean, we all know what it was like that very first year; you are by yourself, you're parents and most of your friends are far from jumping at the chance to cheer you on, you are all of a sudden realizing there are real bills to pay, your new found friends have no clue why you never watched "Ghost Busters" or "Dawn of the Dead" or even the simple classic sitcoms like "Cheers", "Mash", or "Seinfeld". You all of a sudden have the freedom to fuck whoever you want, drink whatever & however much you want, watch whatever you want, & make friends with whomever you please. It's incredibly overwhelming. I have noticed though, that it has been considerably easier for girls who have left to accept "homesexuality" than it is for the guys, no offense! I think one of the reasons being is that we finally found a guy that's not trying to get into our pants! I think a lot of girls still have difficulty getting over the onslaught of creepy men trying to get us that Jesus wants us to have sex with them. Yuck! I have finally gotten to the point where i can look at people as people, not as: sheep, wolves, goats, fish, evil, saints, devils minions, angels, sodomites, systemites, good or bad. People are just people, who you fuck or don't fuck is none of anyones business but your own. I don't give a shit ir you have a boyfriend or a girlfriend, I don't care if you are white or black, i either like you or i don't, we either turn out to be friends or not. It's a hell of a lot easier to make a friend when you don't have to always second guess yourself and you're free to go with your gut feeling rather than follow some weird "Charter" guildine as to what you can and cannot think or feel. (reply to this comment)

From stranger Tuesday, February 08, 2005, 17:11 (Agree/Disagree?) I don't know many Ex FM, but I don't think the ones I know are homophobic. I'm gay as Christmas (I'm a woman), and I think it's great! I don't give a damn what ex members think. I have no idea if other ex members are gay though it would be interesting to find out. Only immature people have such unfounded biases. You don't have to like it but you have to tolerate it.(reply to this comment)

From Mr. PC Tuesday, February 08, 2005, 20:24 (Agree/Disagree?) "You don't have to like it but you have to tolerate it." Because if didn't tolerate it you would be intolerant, which cannot be tolerated by the "tolerant". Yeah...that make sense.(reply to this comment)

From Haunted Tuesday, February 08, 2005, 20:32 (Agree/Disagree?) Way deep dude, waaaayyyy deep! "Tolerance is the gift usually relegated only to those few who realize or have experienced the nature of intolerance." - anonymous (reply to this comment)

From Mr. PC Tuesday, February 08, 2005, 21:30 (Agree/Disagree?) Nice quote. However, most people who call themselves "tolerant" and who decry intolerant acts or opinions are themselves unwilling to tolerate anyone they deem intolerant. People should at least be consistent; that is, they should tolerate those they believe are intolerant. Asserting that people “have to” tolerate one particular opinion is in itself intolerant. (reply to this comment)

From -- Kitty O'Neill Collins -- Monday, March 07, 2005, 05:50 (Agree/Disagree?) Nothing is as difficult as to achieve results in this world if one is filled full of great tolerance and the milk of human kindness. The person who achieves must generally be a one-idea individual, concentrated entirely on that one idea, and ruthless in his aspect toward other men and other ideas. (reply to this comment)

From sort of redundant Monday, March 07, 2005, 08:40 (Agree/Disagree?) * Filled full?(reply to this comment)

From dalai pot lama Monday, March 07, 2005, 05:57 (Agree/Disagree?) What is tolerance? It is the consequence of humanity. We are all formed of frailty and error; let us pardon reciprocally each other's folly - that is the first law of nature. (Ghandi) peace, (reply to this comment)

From -- Gilbert K. Chesterton -- Monday, March 07, 2005, 06:22 (Agree/Disagree?) Tolerance is the virtue of the man without convictions. P.S. You're misquoting Voltaire faggot.(reply to this comment)

From Mr. PC Tuesday, February 08, 2005, 20:26 (Agree/Disagree?) opps...please be tolerant of the typos. :)(reply to this comment)

From no way Tuesday, February 08, 2005, 21:29 (Agree/Disagree?) I'm a typophobe!(reply to this comment)

from Fish Wednesday, August 25, 2004 - 05:55 (Agree/Disagree?) I know a few gay ex members that live in tokyo. 3 that I know personaly.( In a very NON GAY way ) (reply to this comment)

From Joe H Wednesday, January 26, 2005, 09:43 (Agree/Disagree?) The Fishy doth protest too much, me thinks.(reply to this comment)

from Fish Wednesday, August 25, 2004 - 05:55 (Agree/Disagree?) I know a few gay ex members that live in tokyo. 3 that I know personaly.( In a very NON GAY way ) (reply to this comment)

from Fish Wednesday, August 25, 2004 - 05:54 (Agree/Disagree?) I know a few gay ex members that live in tokyo. 3 that I know personaly.( In a very NON GAY way ) (reply to this comment)

from Sir Rantalot Wednesday, June 09, 2004 - 01:56 (Agree/Disagree?) "Another issue never addressed is derogatory lingo toward Queer culture. Lets clear this up with a little help from Vice. Some things are gay (shitty/and or lame), and some things are gay (homosexual). While some things are gay (shitty and homosexual). For example the family End-time music video is both gay shitty, and gay homosexual. The dancers and singers are very homosexual, and the video is such a gay piece of shit, that its even kind of fun to watch stoned. The director (I know him as Solomon) is gay (homosexual) but not gay shitty (I knew the guy, He was Ait). Being on this web site is really gay, but there is nothing homosexual about it. Defining gay is more of an art than a science, but one thing is for sure. This article is the gayest thing I have ever written. Any thoughts???? " How old are you? Let's paraphrase this: Another issue never addressed is the derogatory lingo used towards the toilet culture. Let's clear this up with a little help from fdtemp. Some things are shitty(as in stupid, bad quality, lame etc) and some things are shitty(as in covered in shit like fdtemp over there). For example fdtemp's article is shitty(lame), which makes me assume that at the other end of the net, tdtemp is probably shitting himself while typing at a computer caked with stale shit(feces). Being on this web site with fdtemp is shitty(lame), but not shitty in the other sense because I know what toilet paper and other people's suitcases are good for. (reply to this comment)

From tdemp Wednesday, August 25, 2004, 05:58 (Agree/Disagree?) Douch bag(reply to this comment)

from Shackled Tuesday, June 08, 2004 - 19:42 (Agree/Disagree?) Were you in Japan early 90's? (reply to this comment)

from Baxter Tuesday, June 08, 2004 - 13:22 (Agree/Disagree?) I'm not totally sure what your point is, mate? did you only just leave or something? I'm guessing you might be still holding on to some major baggage yourself, no offence. A lot of people may have originally affected the attitudes you describe, but people get over shit, mate. (reply to this comment)

from Jerseygirl Monday, June 07, 2004 - 14:52 (Agree/Disagree?) I'm just going to go out on a trailer park limb and say that you're little assumption of 7 out of ten ex members reacting negatively to other sexual horizons is total bullshit! Either you haven't met many ex members or you've been hanging with the wrong crowd buddy. From my experience it is true that some people leaving the cult may at first harbor some dusty berg ideas about sex and deviations, but generally once they've been out for like five minutes these attitudes become less of an issue. Most ex culties with half a brain are smart enough to recognize that this is the new millenium and it's silly to be acting like unacceppting bible belt freaks. In fact I would venture to say that most of us go to all extremes to avoid unacceptance because of its heavy influence on us in the cult. Seriously dude, we accept you.(but don't blame me if some left and became Dubya lovin- warmonging-constitutional rights removing- gay marriage opposing -republicans---aaaaaaiiiiiiii trailer park here I come!!!) (reply to this comment)

From frmrjoyish Tuesday, June 08, 2004, 07:55 (Agree/Disagree?) Ha ha ha! You kick ass, jers!!(reply to this comment)

From jez Tuesday, June 08, 2004, 06:28 (Agree/Disagree?) Perhaps it's not just TF's aversion to homosexuality which causes this attitude in the recently escaped (I've noticed it myself), but the glaringly hypocrisy through the LJ series. Being required to envisage Jesus during sex and being forced to read about it, would naturally repulse anyone. What I'm trying to say is it's plausible they associate homosexuality with sex (possibly non-consensual) in TF because of LJ and naturally recoil at the slightest hint of anything remotely similar.(reply to this comment)

From tdemp Tuesday, June 08, 2004, 03:47 (Agree/Disagree?) Is that based on the assumption that we all grew up in the same? I can only speak from personal experience when I say that there is alot. Oh and I dont have an Ex family "Crowd" I try to limit contact with friends from my past. I think Its the only real way to move on. right??(reply to this comment)

From Vicky Tuesday, June 08, 2004, 15:33 (Agree/Disagree?) If you don't hang around with exers who exactly did you base your conclusion (outlined in the above article) on??? I'm sure you realise that to make an accurate average you have to have a rather large base sample to work with, and I'm just wondering if you were a bit hasty to pull out that 7 out of 10 stuff... If you have ten ex-fam friends or aquaintences and seven of them happen to be bigoted idiots, I wouldn't say that that's a fair representation of exers on a larger scale - You're probably just stuck with some of the more prudish ones. One reason I can think of is, if these ex-fam friends of yours are still sort of friendly with TF or haven't left completely in their hearts and minds, they will still be holding on to a lot of the indoctrinations they grew up with. Those of us who have made a total break with TF and its doctrines find it much easier to think for ourselves on issues like this, which usually brings with it a great respect for freedom of expression whether that be sexual or otherwise, having broken free from such a controlling and discriminatory upbringing.(reply to this comment)

From Prudie Tuesday, June 08, 2004, 15:49 (Agree/Disagree?) Oh my, I think there is a difference between being bigoted and prudish. I am prudish in my own dress and behavior, maybe too much so, but I am not bigoted toward homosexual people. I have good friends -- in fact all of my male friends -- and I am totally in favor of equal rights. I think some of us can be affected by having been sexually abused so we may be sexually conservative, modest, "proper" or "prudish" if you will, but not necessarily bigoted! I was sexually abused by straight people in TF and straight sexuality is the one that can be frightening to me. And plenty of my homosexual friends are quite conservative, modest and the embodiment of propriety. (reply to this comment)

From Fun with semantics! Tuesday, June 08, 2004, 17:21 (Agree/Disagree?) I especially loved this sentence: "I have good friends -- in fact all of my male friends -- and I am totally in favor of equal rights." Being a male myself, I can definitely say that we have been deprived of our equal rights for far too long, and we desperately need the support of prudish idiots like you! Are all of your male friends good friends? Or are all of your good friends male?(reply to this comment)

From Prudie Tuesday, June 08, 2004, 17:53 (Agree/Disagree?) They're gay. I left out a couple words.(reply to this comment)

From Prudie Tuesday, June 08, 2004, 17:54 (Agree/Disagree?) Just to be sure I am clear, all of my male friends are gay. 'Kay?(reply to this comment)

From Wednesday, June 09, 2004, 07:37 (Agree/Disagree?) Is that by choice?(reply to this comment)

From Vicky Tuesday, June 08, 2004, 15:56 (Agree/Disagree?) Yeah, prudish wasn't quite the word I was looking for, BUT... I'm dead tired at the moment and couldn't think of anything else. You're right, there is a big diff. and of course I am not suggesting that being prudish is a negative character trait. (reply to this comment)

From frmrjoyish Tuesday, June 08, 2004, 07:51 (Agree/Disagree?) I disagree completely with your statement. Who better to help us move on and adjust to life outside the cult than those that know what we've gone through? The fact that your even on this site shows that on some level you seek out and appreciate this camaraderie. Of course there's a place in our lives for new people and experiences but no matter how you slice it, our past made us who we are and while we may move past it, it will never change and will always be a part of us. "Moving on" is a process that in my opinion will never be complete. What happened to us as children and young adults was too important and all consuming to ever be completely removed from our psyches. But, luckily, most of us are strong enough to move past it without some ridiculous snobbery towards other SGA's.(reply to this comment)

From tdemp Tuesday, June 08, 2004, 08:33 (Agree/Disagree?) Whatever..... call It what you`d like. Allot of the people on this site are so quick to assume that just because someone has an opinion that differs from the general consensus, theyre fucked in the head. Really, dwelling on our past, rehashing old bull shit is not moving on. Yea It`s nice to check in on how others are copeing to life outside the cult, and Im shure there are those who find comfort in the company of others who have been through It. But I think there is a point where in order to find yourself you have go It alone. Ive been out for like ten years, and Its been some of the best and worst years of my life. I didnt have contact with any "EXers" for the first five years. But holly shit, I managed. And Im glad I missed out on all the crying and pussy whining. Im not here to bitch, Im mostly hit this site To find people that I was close to back in the day. But you know everyone is different, If this Is youre thing than I wont knock It. But Dont pull this elietist bull shit with the next poor cunt who tries to give their opinion on how to cope K. peace (reply to this comment)

From frmrjoyish Tuesday, June 08, 2004, 13:28 (Agree/Disagree?) First of all, I find your language disrespectful and offensive. Second, you're the one pulling the elitist BS with your "I'm too good to associate with other exers 'cause I'm so moved on..." attitude. I said I disagreed with your statement, I didn't say I thought you were fucked in the head, but I'm now beginning to wonder! Trust me, if I thought you were fucked in the head, I would've made no bones about it. I may, however, have done it a bit more tastefully without resorting to obscenities to get my point across! (reply to this comment)

From tdemp Tuesday, June 08, 2004, 19:16 (Agree/Disagree?) I guess I just find dwelling on my past depressing enough without hearing about everyone elses. (reply to this comment)

From nobody Wednesday, June 09, 2004, 03:17 (Agree/Disagree?) Depressing discussion about our past is not generally what I would talk about with friends who are Exers, it’s nice to have friends who understand where you are coming from without the need of explanations or slight alteration of where I come for, how many brothers and sisters I have and why I moved around so much as a child. (reply to this comment)

From xhrisl Tuesday, June 08, 2004, 02:47 (Agree/Disagree?) Gotta say, I'm with you all the way Jersey---where are the research statistics? I think that most of us are alot more openminded. And if not, well I let me extend my pitty to the poor unfortunates who still measure the value of the individual based on their own prejudices with regard to sexual orientation.(reply to this comment)

From xhrisl Tuesday, June 08, 2004, 02:47 (Agree/Disagree?) Gotta say, I'm with you all the way Jersey---where are the research statistics? I think that most of us are alot more openminded. And if not, well I let me extend my pitty to the poor unfortunates who still measure the value of the individual based on their own prejudices with regard to sexual orientation.(reply to this comment)

From Wolf Monday, June 07, 2004, 20:54 (Agree/Disagree?) I’ll never forget when we were still in TF, visiting relatives in SF. They asked how we liked SF and one of my siblings said “it’s pretty good but there are so many sodomites here”. As embarrassing as that was the look on my cousin-in-law’s face was priceless!(reply to this comment)

From Shackled Monday, June 07, 2004, 18:04 (Agree/Disagree?) I also question that "7 out of ten" estimate. I'd say it's more like 1 out of 10 and that 1 being someone who hasn't discovered the real world or has only just recently left TF. I've met quite a few gay and bi men and women and felt none of those fears or disdain that TF tried to instill in me. I'm alot more comfortable around bi people over gay though, not sure exactly why. (reply to this comment)

from frmrjoyish Monday, June 07, 2004 - 12:55 (Agree/Disagree?) So by your logic your participation on this site makes you gay! Happy "coming out" day! (reply to this comment)

From tdemp Tuesday, June 08, 2004, 03:48 (Agree/Disagree?) Gay shitty, or gay Homo??(reply to this comment)

from Redneck Monday, June 07, 2004 - 11:45

from Joe H Monday, June 07, 2004 - 11:25 (Agree/Disagree?) So what exactly is the point of this article? Are you saying that ex-members are homophobic, or do you just want to discuss the various meanings of the word "gay"? And why do you feel the need to get defensive at the end? I don't understand how anyone could find this article offensive. Nonsensical, insipid, trivial, maybe, but definitely not offensive. Regarding the use of "gay" to mean stupid or lame, my younger siblings have told me that the term "Canadian" has now been substituted for this sense. How do you like that, roughneck? (reply to this comment)

From tdemp Tuesday, June 08, 2004, 03:32 (Agree/Disagree?) Joe H ....dude, I guess I was making both those points. From my experience Allot of the X kids that I know are homophobic. like that dumb shit roughneck. I did want to discuss the word "GAY". I didnt mean to come off as defensive. I was targeting any Family cunts who might read this. I may be wrong but I thought this site was a forum for discussion. The reason one posts something is irrelavent. So chillll mann. (reply to this comment)

From Redneck Tuesday, June 08, 2004, 11:34 (Agree/Disagree?) My post was a spoof on your article and certainly not representative of my real mindset, judging by the content of this article you really can’t afford to call anyone “dumb shit”. (reply to this comment)

From tdemp Tuesday, June 08, 2004, 19:09 (Agree/Disagree?) Oh cry me a river you hick!!(reply to this comment)

From Banshee Tuesday, June 08, 2004, 12:46 (Agree/Disagree?) Unfortunately for you not too many people recognized the joke since your comment is now in the Trailer Park. I thought it was funny, but maybe my sense of humor is skewed. :P This isn't the first time I've thought we need an "Attention: the following is sarcastic" marker for use on this site. (reply to this comment)

From tdemp Tuesday, June 08, 2004, 09:35 (Agree/Disagree?) Sorry roughneck.. I was refering to red neck.. Typo :)(reply to this comment)

From roughneck Tuesday, June 08, 2004, 20:50 (Agree/Disagree?) No probs, mate. :) I've been called a dumb shit before. - Homophobic, no, but at least you got it half right (some would say). ;) L.(reply to this comment)

From Jerseygirl Monday, June 07, 2004, 15:19 (Agree/Disagree?) It is so typical of Americans to not have enough brain cells to determine a derrogatory word for anything besides just labeling it Canadian. And Joe, seeing as you consider yourself so witty and you worship at the altar of sarcasm ,it seems you might come up with something a little better than that. After all, if someone can come up with an alternative meaning for santorum ,surely a different meaning of "gay to mean stupid or lame" can be thought of.(reply to this comment)

From Joe H Monday, June 07, 2004, 15:38 (Agree/Disagree?) Usage of "Canadian" to mean pathetic or stupid is not something that I practice (ok, maybe sometimes, but with irony), and I did not coin this sense. I also have not heard it used by anyone over the age of 16. That being said, if you like Canada so much, why don't you go back? How about we convince the middle-schoolers to start saying "That's so culty!" instead of "That's so gay/Canadian!"? (reply to this comment)