Reader's comments on this article Add a new comment on this article

from imssbeingadad Saturday, March 25, 2006 - 11:46 (Agree/Disagree?) Life has been extremely difficult living life without my daughter. Her mother has bad mouthed me to the point of no return. Just today mom has answered a letter sent reaffirming she wants me in no way any contact with our daughter. I know there is the possibility of some day having a relationship with my child even though I'm missing out on the most important years. I'll always be her father ,but maybe some day I'll get the chance to be her Dad again. I cherish the three short years I had, but my ex kept every picture from that time. Knowing that this has happened to other people makes it easier , in some small way, dealing with the emotions of basically losing a child. Believing in Karma has also helped knowing that some day my ex will get hers. I don't even really want that either, I just want to be my daughters Dad again. Hang in there. It will unfortunately happen in Gods time and not ours. Still Lonely (reply to this comment)

from surfgirl Monday, November 07, 2005 - 14:05 (Agree/Disagree?) Thanks for your comments. It is helpful to know you are not alone, as it does sometimes feel that way. In my situation, i actually have 4 children. 3 live with me and 1 lives w her Dad. It's been hard for everyone involved, not just for me, but I felt it best as it was hard to raise 4 kids alone. But, now i am experiencing a lot of the pain of feeling guilt over not being with her every day. She is the eldest, so it seemed right at the time, but I just feel like a terrible mother not being able to keep all my kids together and take care of them all, even when practically speaking, i just wasn't coping or meeting all their emotional or physical needs, so it seemed the solution. My x is a good father so I know she's in good hands, but as a mother it feels so wrong to be without one of your kids. Anyway, i just needed a bit of comfort i suppose from people who have maybe been there, and who could perhaps understand. (reply to this comment)

from Haunted Sunday, November 06, 2005 - 22:40 (Agree/Disagree?) My ex and I have joint custody - it's a bit of a pain sometimes, but the best for our kid I think.... (reply to this comment)

from booger Saturday, November 05, 2005 - 21:10 (Agree/Disagree?) I have some experience here. I guess it depends on your situatuon. In my case, I can visit my child. The main thing you will have to remember is that when your child gets older, there will be no excuse good enough for not seeing them and spending time with them as they were growing up. Many of us might have the same feelings if, say, one parent left the COG and left us with the other parent to deal with all the crap without them. There is nothing you can say to your child when they are older that will make not being there ok. It requires sacrifice. It requires a lifelong commitment. For me, it also requires a great deal of expense and personal sacrifice. But I make the financial sacrifice - eat out less and go out less, drive a cheaper car, buy cheaper clothes, skip vacations. These are certainly not big sacrifices, but if you don't make them now, they will be huge down the road. In short, do whatever you have to do to see your child/children as often as you can. The time cannot be replaced. The sense of longing and wondering about why you were not there will never go away. Do whatever it takes, but spend time with your child. (reply to this comment)

from AndyH Wednesday, November 02, 2005 - 08:06 (Agree/Disagree?) I've been seperated from my daughter for most of her life, it sucks but what can you do? (reply to this comment)