from afflick - Friday, April 04, 2008
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For the past few months, I have been intriged by Argentina's 'Dirty War' and its legacy of the Disappeared.
Recently, children who were taken from their kidnapped mothers have been discovering their identities. One has even launched a court action against her so called 'adoptive' parents. You can see more here: http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/americas/7331857.stm
In reading these stories, I have discovered many parallels to our own history with The Family. For one thing, many of the worst perpetrators of abuse in Argentina gained legal immunity. They have never stood trial for the horrors they committed. Many are not even the least bit sorry for the torture, the separation of families, the death.
I draw strength from the stories of the Mothers of the Disappeared. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mothers_of_the_Plaza_de_Mayo They continue to make their voices heard, both in South America and around the world, speaking up for those that have no voice. While we are not as organized as they, we have the same determination. In the years I have been a member of this site there have been many discouraging events: The Family's denunciation of past abuse, then their callus not-really-to-us-and-not-really-an-apology apology; current members denegration of our opinions and their misunderstanding of our motives; child abuse apologists attempts at re-victimization; well-meaning outsider's disrespectful proselytizing.
And yet, we have not lost our voice.
I am proud of us. For all our unfortunate human tendancies, we are survivors. We are not silenced by shame. When I left The Family, I told myself from then on, I would choose a painful truth over a comforting lie. I see many of you making this same choice.
We are not our parents. We do not trade our ability to rationalize for the promise of protection. We are not living in the shadow of a comforting lie. We are determined to tell the truth as we know it about our own lives and experiences. Unlike Argentina's disappeared, we are still here and our presence is known.
To all of those who continue as members of this site, expressing your opinions, I applaude your voice. This site is unique--we are unique--because we are not afraid to share painful episodes of our past. If for no other reason than to document them. To attest that they happened but we are still here.