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Getting On : All My Politics
Republican National Convention Schedule | from frmrjoyish - Thursday, August 26, 2004
accessed 1293 times Schedule for the First Night of the Republican National Convention 6:00 PM Opening Prayer led by the Reverend Jerry Falwell
6:30 PM Pledge of Allegiance
6:35 PM Ceremonial Burning of Bill of Rights (excluding 2nd Amendment)
6:45 PM Salute to the Coalition of the Willing
6:46 PM Seminar #1: Katherine Harris on "Are Elections Really
Necessary?"
7:30 PM Announcement: Lincoln Memorial Renamed for Ronald Reagan
7:35 PM Trent Lott - "Re-segregation in the 21st Century"
7:40 PM EPA Address #1: Mercury: It's What's for Dinner
8:00 PM Vote on which country to invade next
8:10 PM Call EMTs to revive Rush Limbaugh
8:15 PM John Ashcroft Lecture: The Homos Are After Your Children
8:30 PM Round table discussion on reproductive rights (men only)
8:50 PM Seminar #2: Corporations: The Government of the Future
9:00 PM Condi Rice sings "Can't Help Lovin' Dat Man"
9:05 PM Phyllis Schlafly speaks on "Why Women Shouldn't Be Leaders"
9:10 PM EPA Address #2: Trees: The Real Cause of Forest Fires
9:30 PM break for secret meetings
10:00 PM Second Prayer led by Cal Thomas
10:15 PM Carl Rove Lecture: Doublespeak Made Simple
10:30 PM Rumsfeld Lecture/Demonstration: How to Squint and Talk Macho
Even When You Feel Squishy Inside
10:35 PM Bush demonstration of trademark "deer in headlights" stare
10:40 PM John Ashcroft Demonstration: New Mandatory Kevlar Chastity
Belt
10:45 PM GOP's Tribute to Tokenism, featuring Colin Powell & Condi Rice
10:46 PM Ann Coulter's Tribute to "Joe McCarthy, Great American
Patriot"
10:50 PM Seminar #3: Education: A Drain on Our Nation's Economy
11:10 PM Hilary Clinton Pinata
11:20 PM John Ashcroft Lecture: Evolutionists: A Dangerous New Cult
11:30 PM Call EMTs to revive Rush Limbaugh again
11:35 PM Blame Clinton
11:40 PM Newt Gingrich speaks on "The Sanctity of Marriage"
11:41 PM Announcement: Ronald Reagan to be added to Mt. Rushmore
11:50 PM Closing Prayer led by Jesus Himself
12:00 PM Nomination of George W. Bush as Holy Supreme Planetary
Overlord
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Reader's comments on this article Add a new comment on this article |  from exister
Wednesday, September 01, 2004 - 08:37
(Agree/Disagree?)
So did anyone catch the insipid Arnold Speech, which was followed by the Bush twins reenacting their fathers trademark idiot snicker into a microphone over and over? The highlight of the twin's speech was when they pointed out that they just got out of college and are wandering around looking for something to do, just like their father. It brought to mind the time Ron (not Ronald) Reagan pointed out that according to GW himself his greatest accomplishment before the 2000 election was to stop drinking. Wow! Really? You stopped being an obnoxious drunk? Good for fucking you!
There was an article on NPR the other day about stupidity. Someone brilliantly pointed out that the current GOP presidential campaign does an excellent job of spinning GW's stupidity into folksiness and populism. I am sure this convention will delight us with even more of this "spun stupidity" before finally ending in one raring ode to stupidity by the supreme stupid one himself.
Remember, stupid is as stupid votes.
(reply to this comment)
| | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | from Phoenixkidd
Tuesday, August 31, 2004 - 16:37
(Agree/Disagree?)
Sounds like those friggin' NAFM or area "fellowships" we used to have so dull and boring with a bunch of old cogers. Just a whole bunch of rantin and ravin about nothing. They were all just an excuse for the adults to get together and "Share"!!
(reply to this comment)
| from Haunted
Friday, August 27, 2004 - 11:08
(Agree/Disagree?)
LMAO! Wow - good thing I'm at home alone in my office or someone would have had great fun seeing me fall on my ass off my chair! Thanks hon for the Friday humor!
(reply to this comment)
| from Shaka
Friday, August 27, 2004 - 10:44
(Agree/Disagree?)
Heh heh, I liked that Hillary Pinata one.
(reply to this comment)
| from mike hunt
Friday, August 27, 2004 - 02:27
(Agree/Disagree?)
12:15 GOP circle jerk
(reply to this comment)
| from xhrisl
Friday, August 27, 2004 - 02:11
 (Agree/Disagree?)
The following days schedule to include:
· WMD's; where are they now?
· Reclassification; how to change the fast-food service worker's titles to burger manufacturers.
· Screwing the middleclass; the new overtime laws.
· Leaving your children behind---the new education bill.
Also, look for exciting new revelations from Jesus and Farwell.
(reply to this comment)
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