from 001 - Saturday, May 03, 2003
accessed 1267 times
Now, now. We shouldn't make fun of the French when they aren't here to defend themselves. On second thought, if they were here they still wouldn't defend themselves. So here goes:
1) George Bush, Jaques Chirac and Tony Blair all go hunting. At the end of the night they are cleaning their game and having a drink, when Tony Blair stands, throws a bottle of whiskey in the air and yells "For Queen and country!" He then pulls out a pistol and shoots the bottle out of the air.
Chirac stands and throws a bottle of champagne in the air screaming, "Viva la France!" He too, pulls his pistol and shoots the bottle.
George, not to be out done, throws a can of beer in the air and pulls out his pistol. Then he shoots Chirac and yells "It doesn't get any better than this!"
2) Donald Rumsfeld was being heckled by a French anti-war weenie when he suddenly turned and asked the Frenchman:
"Excuse me. Do you speak German?"
The Frenchman replied "No."
Rumsfeld looked him in the eyes and said "You're welcome."
3) Q: What do you call a Frenchman advancing on Baghdad? A: Lost.
4) Q: Why do the French demand more evidence about Iraq's weapons?
A: They forgot that the last time they demanded more evidence, it was provided in the form of Rommel's panzers rolling down the Champs Elysees.
5) Q: What did the Iraqi army say when the Chirac offered to send them military advisers?
A: "No thanks, we already know how to surrender."
6) Q: Why are all the highways in France lined with trees?
A: So that the Germans can march in the shade!
7) Q: How did George W. Bush know Saddam Hussein has weapons of mass destruction? A: Because he remembers his dad sold them to him!
8) Q: What is France's greatest victory? A: Surrendered to the Germans in record time.