from stedneil_king - Wednesday, November 21, 2007
accessed 406 times
Sometimes I wonder...
Sometimes I wonder what exactly I am
I have spent a couple of years studying
degree that I only plan to put to use in
remotest of circumstances. A fallback, as
it. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, I have
sweat, and tears into studying
Philosophy, and I
intend to become a true Philosopher only
IF I fail
Law school in UP altogether.
I wrote down Philosophy in that UPUGAT
form (Univerisity of the Philippines Under
Graduate Assesment Test) to realize a
dream I had since
my toddler years. I had wanted to
lawyer, the profession that my godfather
practices. I wanted to walk down the halls
courts, providing help to clients where it
As Philosophy student
same subject matter, which is life, though
much more general sense, I chose it as
My mother, who was
ecstatic that I had decided to follow my
dream, supported me all the way. But
much affraid becuase of my enthusiast to
fraternity. A colleague of hers said that a
percentage of UP students are involve in
fraternities. And graduates make up each
the College of Law, probably because
higher grades than most people from
competing courses. Because they were
monitored by the fratenity brothers.
being the insane adolescent that I was,
not to follow her advice.
that I am a member of a fraternity ever
(She was the one who treated me after my FINAL RITES INITIATION by the way).
She is aware too that
I have to undergo another
A traditional welcome initiation for my
To go back with I took up Philosophy in
And for the first time in my life, I found
that I was passionate about.
I could not pinpoint the exact time that I
enjoy and be truly interested in what I
studying. Maybe it started with PHILO 1
that was in San Beda years back. With
and that closeness with some fellow philo
students, maybe it started with PHILO
CADZ MALBAROSA and all his
guess there is this something that keeps
interested in the subject matter even in
boring of circumstances.
I tried not think about the time when I
forced to choose my career path. Once I
declared to my mother that I wanted to
lawyer, I instinctively knew that there was
taking it back, even though she said that
what I wanted to become was in my
not in herís or in my dadís. I
knew that if I so
much as mention that I wanted to ditch
and pursue a masterís degree
metaphorically will get to make my own
hang myself with it.
And so I decided upon a middle way. I
told her that
if I did not make it to the UP College of
Law, I will
not pursue law altogether. I will go on to
graduate school, may it be at the Institute of
at the faculty education.
She, of course, agreed to this decision.
quite the elitist; she did not want to see
enter another school and nothing will
Fast forward a year later. I am now close
up LAW. Unlike philosophy though, I am
passionate about it, nor do I find it even
interesting. I have to drag myself to class
everyday, force myself to listen to
then go home at night and try to wade
oozing swamp of readings.
I am feeling very much run down, and I
that second wind is far from
I only hope that one day, I'll wake up,
that I have learned to love what I am
doing, like it
once was in my undergraduate years.
Upon being asked why I wanted to take
I once said that I couldn't see
myself as being
ha ha ha ha ha....hooooooo