Why Philosophy

from stedneil_king - Wednesday, November 21, 2007
accessed 406 times

Sometimes I wonder...

Sometimes I wonder what exactly I am
doing here.
I have spent a couple of years studying
for a
degree that I only plan to put to use in
the
remotest of circumstances. A fallback, as
they call
it. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, I have
poured blood,
sweat, and tears into studying
Philosophy, and I
intend to become a true Philosopher only
IF I fail
Law school in UP altogether.

I wrote down Philosophy in that UPUGAT
form (Univerisity of the Philippines Under
Graduate Assesment Test) to realize a
dream I had since
my toddler years. I had wanted to
become a
lawyer, the profession that my godfather
also
practices. I wanted to walk down the halls
of
courts, providing help to clients where it
is needed.
As Philosophy student
practically deals
with the
same subject matter, which is life, though
in a
much more general sense, I chose it as
my pre-
Law course.

My mother, who was
practically
ecstatic that I had decided to follow my
own
dream, supported me all the way. But
she's very
much affraid becuase of my enthusiast to
fraternity. A colleague of hers said that a
higher
percentage of UP students are involve in
the
fraternities. And graduates make up each
class of
the College of Law, probably because
they get
higher grades than most people from
other
competing courses. Because they were
closely
monitored by the fratenity brothers.

I, of
course,
being the insane adolescent that I was,
decided
not to follow her advice.
Anyway, my
mother knew
that I am a member of a fraternity ever
since.
(She was the one who treated me after my FINAL RITES INITIATION by the way).
She is aware too that
I have to undergo another
initiation.
A traditional welcome initiation for my
residency.

To go back with I took up Philosophy in
UP-
Diliman.

And for the first time in my life, I found
something
that I was passionate about.

I could not pinpoint the exact time that I
started to
enjoy and be truly interested in what I
was
studying. Maybe it started with PHILO 1
and
that was in San Beda years back. With
PHILO 2
and that closeness with some fellow philo
students, maybe it started with PHILO
ewan, Prof.
CADZ MALBAROSA and all his
idiosyncrasies. I
guess there is this something that keeps
me
interested in the subject matter even in
the most
boring of circumstances.

I tried not think about the time when I
would be
forced to choose my career path. Once I
had
declared to my mother that I wanted to
be a
lawyer, I instinctively knew that there was
no
taking it back, even though she said that
choosing
what I wanted to become was in my
hands, and
not in her’s or in my dad’s. I
knew that if I so
much as mention that I wanted to ditch
my plans
and pursue a master’s degree
instead, I
metaphorically will get to make my own
noose and
hang myself with it.

And so I decided upon a middle way. I
told her that
if I did not make it to the UP College of
Law, I will
not pursue law altogether. I will go on to
graduate school, may it be at the Institute of
philosophy or
at the faculty education.

She, of course, agreed to this decision.
She was
quite the elitist; she did not want to see
his son
enter another school and nothing will
happen again.

Fast forward a year later. I am now close
to taking
up LAW. Unlike philosophy though, I am
not
passionate about it, nor do I find it even
remotely
interesting. I have to drag myself to class
everyday, force myself to listen to
lectures, and
then go home at night and try to wade
through an
oozing swamp of readings.

I am feeling very much run down, and I
know that
that second wind is far from
coming.

I only hope that one day, I'll wake up,
and realize
that I have learned to love what I am
doing, like it
once was in my undergraduate years.

Upon being asked why I wanted to take
up LAW,
I once said that I couldn't see
myself as being
anything else.

Liar....
ha ha ha ha ha....hooooooo