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Getting Out : Inside Out

A "Family" pokeman update

from steam - Monday, January 23, 2006
accessed 2601 times

In case you need some special powers here is an updated list for your make believe card game. Note Mocumba has been officially changed to the dark side.

"SPIRIT HELPERS---& HINDERERS"---updated 4 April 2005

This is based on the very nice list created by Marvy, in Matsumoto, Japan—GBH! Marvy also credits "Tom and Dave". If anyone else has contributed, thank you all. In this version, I've further "organized" the Helpers & Hinderers. Also, a few more beings & descriptions are added, and the "antidote" for some of the demons is noted.
References here usually indicate the first time these personages appear in the pubs. We haven't gone over every detail with a fine-tooth comb, so you're welcome to make improvements. Since new spirit entities are introduced regularly, this list will need frequent updating!
Some spirit helpers may be more important than others to be aware of---though all revealed helpers are significant. I figured beings mentioned in the GNs would probably be those we'd all want to have a working knowledge of. So they are listed first, then other helpers are listed separately. Marvy's list has Mama's & Peter's personal helpers noted separately as well. And in this version, beings that are related to a certain country also have their own section.
The descriptions are very brief, to save space. Please check out the references to get more information. (The HomeARC and InfoStore are a great help!)

The full list can be found here:

Reader's comments on this article

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from Snufkin
Tuesday, December 05, 2006 - 11:05


Apparently its quite the fashion for angels to have elvish-sounding names. Unfortunatly yr stuck with your name if you ever lived on earth.

(reply to this comment)

from Jedran
Wednesday, February 01, 2006 - 02:34


Merlin the magician? Pied piper? They are both legendary characters who probably never existed or if they did are nothing like portrayed in the legends. Well Merlin is legendary anyway the pied piper was some german shmuck who played so bad his only audience were rats and children.

Notice how one of peter's helpers "served the pharoah" (please don't specify which one, Rameses II perhaps? Does she make an appearance in C. B. De Mille's Ten commandments? Why not just pick Nefertiri?) and the other is a "celtic king."

They really like Egypt and the celts eh? What do you bet family leadership's favorite song is "I've got the power."
(reply to this comment)

from LOL
Tuesday, January 31, 2006 - 15:41


LOL's prayer for the ex-members posting here:

"PTL! TYJ! TYL! Hallelujah! Lord you told us that Your word would never return void, Lord, that it would always find it's way to where you meant it to go, Lord. And Lord, this whole vein is just a proof of that, Lord. All these ex-members who could be spending time studying, Lord or working, Lord, or even reading system books with real meaning, Lord, they're just sitting at your feet, Lord and learning of you through the GN's, Lord."

"Even with all our encryption schemes and classified communications, Lord they're just so hungry for the New Wine that they find a way, Lord, to get their word time, Lord. There are lawyers here, Lord, who could be billing clients at hundreds of dollars per hour, (maybe even are,) and parents who could be teaching their kids fairy tales or watching TV and students and sales people, Lord. And all of them ara taking the time out of their busy lives to not only find and read the latest FSM's and GN's and other precious pubs, Lord, but to really let the meaning sink in and research each individual point, lord, and plan their reactions and OHR's and really pow-wow these Jewels, Lord, with one another!"

"Sumbedee bedee bedeee bedum-tum!"

"It's like the story of the loaf of bread, our message is getting out and seeping into their minds and distracting them from their pointless lives and friends so they can really soak up our Message and fill their minds with useless drivel even if you had to use our own members who are secretly cackling to themselves about having tricked the ex-members into reading the Word. They're being wise as serpents, Lord, and harmful as pigeons".

"Our gospel is really being preached in all nations by so many means, Lord, that you're even using the ex-members to spread our crap for us, Lord, and they really have no clue Lord! They're just being USED by us like they have been their whole lives and are continuing to be such TOOLS and Vessels in our hands, Lord, by their constant and dilligent study of OUR word Lord!"

"So Lord, we REALLY ask you Lord, in the name of the keys we claim it lord and call on all the helpers and hinderers to REALLY fight in spirit, Lord, cuz they have been fighting for soooooo long, lord and no one ever wins! So Please Lord, we REALLY ask you to continue to strengthen and encourage these foolish ones in this pointless endeavour, Lord, so they can waste more time than ever before and really be held back and weighted down by all our twisted logic wasting precious space in their heads, Lord! Amen."

(reply to this comment)

From KOK
Tuesday, January 31, 2006, 22:13


Excellent, down to the repetition of "Lord" and "really"!

Now, that "LOL" means "Lord of Lords", right? But how could you be, when *I'm* the King of Kings! As Handel wrote, "KOK and LOL, KOK and LOL, AHSRFEAE, KOK and LOL, KOK and LOL"(reply to this comment

From Jesus Crust
Tuesday, January 31, 2006, 22:25

Whatever fools, I am Jesus so piss thou off! Both of thee, imposters!(reply to this comment
from Baxter
Monday, January 30, 2006 - 17:51

Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5(Agree/Disagree?)

Hee Hee Hee!!!

The Cathars -do they actually read ANYTHING about these people's history? Butt-fuck lovers and crucifixion revisionists?

Brunhyld - Germanic pagan figure? wtf?

Freya - Germanic pagan deity?

Mike - Mike?? Mike??? wtf?

Peter the Hermit - HELLOOOOO!!!!????? brought thousands of peasant children into slavery? Oh wait, that makes perfect sense!!! They must love him!!!

William Wallace - Jesus Christ!!! They love ripping off movies. Do any of them actually KNOW anything about Wallace?

Alexander - Bisexual, near-genocidal warmonger? what is the connection? Or do they not accept that he had male as well as female lovers?

Cromwell - Two words, numbnuts: Drogheda and Wexford! Why don't you morons read your history? Cromwell is partially responsible for centuries of exploitation and misery in Ireland!

Ivan the Terrible - nuff said!

MacArthur - why? The Japanese HATE MacArthur! He had to be relieved of command in Korea for nearly starting WW3! Again, what comes of basing historic reference on movies!

Rasputin - once again, makes perfect sense that berg would love this nut!

Charlemagne - What is it with the Family and genocidal maniacs? Does anyone remember Verden?

yul Brynner - WTF? why? why?? why???

And what happened to Mocumba? or was she just disappointed that Berg's dick wasn't as big as he boasted? (sorry. low blow, i couldn't resist!)

(reply to this comment)

From Nancy
Tuesday, January 31, 2006, 09:24

Cromwell - tortured prisoners, including priests, rejected religion, lodged his horses in St. Patrick's Cathedral.

His name there shocked me. You're right, these people read nothing and know nothing. They're so delusional that they believe only what is made up and fed to them. Cromwell is right up there with Atilla the Hun. He persecuted Christians for God's sake!!! Might as well include Nero and the other Roman emperors who fed the Christians to lions. If I'd had this when I went on Montel. It would have told the whole story of the madness and danger of this cult without me having to divulge one experience of my childhood. Where are the designers of the Inquisition in this list? They must specifically possess Ado and Kanah, Rose and Jay and other especially sadistic leaders.(reply to this comment
from solemn
Monday, January 30, 2006 - 15:00

Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5(Agree/Disagree?)
At first I found this quite amusing, but then I remembered how serious they are about this. It took me back to when I was 11. A childhood friend and I were playing Don Quixote with sticks and trash can lids and were caught doing so. What followed was hours of beatings, exorcism, and being forced to speak in tongues, this was inflicted not just my friend and I but every child over the age of six in the home. It was a terrifying frenzy of psychotic behavior from the adults attempting to deliver us of our demons. "Our demons" , because we played like 11 year olds who had that ridiculous story drilled into our heads. No your demons, for doing such a horrible thing to little children. I kept looking around the room at these little children crying and shaking for hours. They didn’t even know what had started this whole thing. It took so long for some of them to figure out how to act delivered so it could end for them. I am still haunted by that memory. Demons, ha! These people are sick.
(reply to this comment)
From Nancy
Tuesday, January 31, 2006, 09:16

Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5(Agree/Disagree?)
An all too familiar story, happened where I lived, too. It wasn't Don Quixote specifically, though. The boys were jostling with broom sticks. It was Peace, Simon's wife, who beat them with metal flyswatters.

Although, this stuff is insaning amuzing, your story is the reminder that it had terrible results on children. People crazy enough to believe this nonsense are dangerous, especially to little kids.(reply to this comment
from Lala&Po
Monday, January 30, 2006 - 14:17


Ping Keter has only two helpers! Is that because because he doesn't do enough to require a sizeable coterie of spiritual assistants? The anorexics and bulemics have as many spirit helpers as Ping Keter, for chrissake. At least two spirit helpers (Boheme & Orexis) can be called on to fight against eating disorders. Hmmm, what does that say about behavioral health issues in TFI? Not eating at all or binging and purging requires as much spiritual help as being Zerby's Mr. Step-n-fetchit.
(reply to this comment)

from Nancy
Monday, January 30, 2006 - 09:35

Henry the VIII?! Historically mad. Makes sense I suppose.

Edgar Allan Poe? Have they even done any research on these people? Not someone I'd want associated with my name.
(reply to this comment)
Monday, January 30, 2006, 10:08

What Berg liked about Henry the VIII was that he had figured out a way to get around the prohibition on getting new wives.(reply to this comment
From Haunted
Monday, January 30, 2006, 13:33


He created his own church so that he could ditch his older wife with whom he had children in order to marry a lady's maid.....

Sound familiar?(reply to this comment

From Yeah
Monday, January 30, 2006, 23:22

Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5(
And then for good measure, had the ex executed. But to his credit I think he did express beforehand a wish to remain friends.(reply to this comment
From Oddman
Tuesday, January 31, 2006, 12:58


Henry... Kept changing wives, and had Anne killed.

Anne.... Charged for adultery and incest... (Never mind Henry claims, he was never legally married to Anne, so she couldn't have been guilty of adultery.)

Henry VIII....... AND??? Ann Boleyn??
Both... Spirit helpers.... WTF? Am I missing something?(reply to this comment

From Claire B
Tuesday, January 31, 2006, 13:42

It's because we're Christians and we believe in forgiveness. Anne was selfish and didn't want to share Henry with other women. She has learned her lesson now, and she has repented.(reply to this comment
From Baxter
Tuesday, January 31, 2006, 15:19


Is this a Joke!?

Anne didn't want to share Henry other women? Henry was with other women already, and she had no control over who he slept with. He was carrying on with several women whilst she was still alive, including his next wife, Jane Seymour. Boleyn was executed for adultery with several men, most of the eivdence of which was likely fabricated. Anne Boleyn likely did absolutely nothing to warrant execution, other than failing to give henry a male heir. How can you have both figures on the same list? (reply to this comment

From Haunted
Tuesday, January 31, 2006, 14:51

No sweetie - you got that backwards - Henry didnt want to share Anne with OTHER MEN! Especially her brother, I think that was a bit of a blow to him.......(reply to this comment
From Grandpa
Tuesday, January 31, 2006, 13:49

She finally got the victory, PTL-TYJ!(reply to this comment
From Haunted
Monday, January 30, 2006, 09:38

yeah, a depressed drug addict - - hmmm, wonder how he 'helps out'?(reply to this comment
From Nancy
Monday, January 30, 2006, 09:46

Clearly, he assists in helping them buy all this madness. Nothing like a coke-head to help a bunch of culties find ways to tolerate their own stupidity.(reply to this comment
From Haunted
Monday, January 30, 2006, 09:50

I guess since he wrote about perverted-type incestuous relationships and creepy demons he fits right in.....(reply to this comment
from Haunted
Monday, January 30, 2006 - 07:54


Oh that was so much fun - good to have a laugh on Monday morning!

So I guess Zerby got jealous of Berg constanty screwing Mocumba so now she's evil.....

Hey - and I thought WE were the Vandari? Are the Vandari spirits now? I'm so confused - oh well, I'm over it!
(reply to this comment)

From vixen
Monday, January 30, 2006, 09:21

Tut tut, haunted! You weren't paying attention to the Word! The Vandari are blood-dripping demons who are the lowest of the low, looked down on by all the other demons in Hell, yet strangely they are given the privelige of preying on the backslidden from the ranks of God's Chosen Elite. Hmmm, that doesn't make much sense... (reply to this comment
From Haunted
Monday, January 30, 2006, 09:36


LHM - I must have been daydreaming about all my worldly possessions and profits of Mammon....

I guess Macomba and I were involved in some hedonistic activities and I just missed that nugget....(reply to this comment

from Haunted
Monday, January 30, 2006 - 07:25


Question: so "Liza" "Fights the punk"? Is this Punk music, Punk-ass teens? General Punks?

What the hell is "the punk"????
(reply to this comment)

From loch
Friday, July 14, 2006, 10:13

You fight with the punk, you fight with me! Really though, what the hell?(reply to this comment
From Haunted
Monday, January 30, 2006, 07:47


oh yay! They get "Mermaids" to "Give peace & ease".......

I think I'll stick with my pedicures and massages and not lean on mermaids to ease my own tension thanks....(reply to this comment

from placebo
Sunday, January 29, 2006 - 23:23

Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5(Agree/Disagree?)
Notice how Obtherion "the hinderer" is a "homo" while Alexander the Great who's a "helper" has no mention of his particular brand of sexuality.
(reply to this comment)
From placebo
Sunday, January 29, 2006, 23:25

and why is the spirit who fights depression and negativity named after a city here in Switz where it rains more than in Manchester?(reply to this comment
from cool8pack
Sunday, January 29, 2006 - 22:57

Ha! never read such a crock 'o shite in all my life. What is it coming to? Anyway was worth a larf, seems too many of 'em hv too much time on their hands cooking up batty stories about cats and wolverines. wankers!
(reply to this comment)
Sunday, January 29, 2006 - 15:01

Notice how Maria, Peter and Grandpa have their own special helpers but not their own special hinderers? Maybe the Enemy doesn't hate them that much after all, LOL!!!
(reply to this comment)
From Actually....
Monday, January 30, 2006, 10:04

I'm not going back there to look it up its name but, there was one spirit who is attributed with trying to make Maria blind. No point in having all these helpers if there aren't some bad guys to fight off, I guess!(reply to this comment
From OHR
Monday, January 30, 2006, 10:07

LHM, I had just skimmed uncle-whats-his-face's categories, I was not hungry enough for the word to read the whole list. Uncle whatever didn't do categories for hinderers of that trifecta. I have been caught in the horrid sin of skimming my assigned reading...OK, just glancing at the top...(reply to this comment
from enigma
Sunday, January 29, 2006 - 14:16

I have never read something so funny; blatant paganism. I guess my “Shadow”, the spirit-helper that all of us former members apparently have, is not doing such a good job. Maybe I should call on Obtherion just incase.
(reply to this comment)

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