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Getting Out : Inside Out

The rise of the prophets

from vacuous - Tuesday, September 27, 2005
accessed 2703 times

This really makes for fun reading. Can you be more fundamentalist than the family? Apparantly yes.

To all Homes in Europe (FD/MM/FM)
Subject: Warning about emails from "Camteam"

Dear Family,

WLY! We pray this note finds you enjoying a wonderful day with our dear Lover.

We wanted to pass on some advice concerning some emails that started circulating this weekend. Some
of you may have already received an email with the name "95 Theses" from the email address Camteam. This
has been sent by "David Branch", formerly Stephen Schaff.

We're sorry to say that it appears quite clear from this correspondence that Stephen and his team
have split off from the Family. We don't know much about the background, but it is apparent from the
content of what they have written, that they have rejected the Family's spiritual leadership through Mama
and have set themselves apart spiritually.

We fe

And here is Stephan Schafs prophet message...

A Poem to Peter Absalom!
Written in Blood, by the Prophets of David!

Peter, Peter with long flowing hair
Peter Builder, did you beware?
You saw your people toil hard and long,
Gnarled by sin they sang Babylon’s song.
Babes in their arms they stumbled uncouth,
Despised by the city, despised by their youth.
With sweet words of kindness you stood by the gate
You spoke to the people:”To be despised is not fate!”
Let’s be diplomatic, not so wild in our call!
And you’ll see our movement will be accepted by all!
Let’s not be so sexy when we’re stepping outside
Of our cozy bedrooms, where our doctrines we hide.

Peter Humpty, man on the Wall!
Peter Dumpty, what is your call?
“Let us be popular, accepted and wise,
Move into the grandstand of society’s lies.
Support we will gain if we’re more like the norm
Let’s give our movement a moral reform!
No need for us bleeding, for a message of sex,
And let’s see our future with rose coloured specs.
No need to shout warning, and woe out too loud
Let’s sit down and wait to see what plays out!”

Peter Pebble, Peter of Saul!
You spurned the warnings of David’s call!
“But we’re not like Jehovahs. who climbed on the roof
To greet their Saviour return, and it all was spoof!
Let’s not be fools like David and foresee all the time
Visions of woe of doom and repine!
Let us reason and frown predictions unwise,
Let us settle in town let Anti Christ rise.
Let’s not be fools like this Christ, our Lord!
Let’s be a church, let’s have a board!”

“We’re not a sect, to be different is fake!
In this point God simply made a mistake!
Let’s restructure our system to churchy concision!
Let’s make the Family a “subdivision”!
Of Babylon the beautiful town!
Believe me we will not go down,
But rise to fortune fame and power
Arise and build our Babel’s tower!
So attractive to neigbours, they will move right in!”
(Will they share God’s convictions or teach us their sin?)

But with new homes so cosy, such pillows of ease
No need to think it will come to the squeeze
Of Anti Christ Caesar demanding the flesh
Of each Family fool that is caught in this mesh!
But let’s not muse about prospects so mean;
The system’s off our back, and our front yards are clean!

Peter Builder with smooth words you swayed
The hearts of the people, but have David betrayed!
“No need for God’s spirit, this uncertain mist!
We know revolution, we’re checking our list!”
While Mama Maria rocks in her chair
Dreams of old time religion, traditions so fair.
To and fro she gently rocks,
Of Camel’s hair she now knits socks,
Blended with threads of sleep from hell
Fed to her by Jezebel!
“Once homes were big and the kids were small.
Oh Peter, I fear they now are tall!”
(I’m scared they are prophets and may fall,)
Might get fed up with baby toys,
Find revolution a greater joy,
Than to adorn our couch, sit nice and still,
So the reasonable system will do us no ill!”

“But let’s have devotions let’s play with our keys
Let’s play our mind-games of angel’s melee
With bad nasty spirits, a video game!
While we stay in our confines, avoid prophet’s blame!
Now it’s your turn sweetheart take a big scoop
Of the New Family’s watery, spiritual soup.
It will keep our people from hungering for more.
Let’s hook the system, let’s not be God’s whore!
Let’s not be mad and marry us all,
“Being one Wife”, our image would fall!
Our chances of gain would be dangerously bleak.
Imagine how the Jones’s, our neighbours would freak!”

Peter, Ahab with long flowing hair
Peter, Absalom did you beware?
You sold us to Baal and his checklist hives
While in your tent on the roof you fuck David’s wives,
Make them drunk with your Saulish wine
“Oh the children are dumb, they need wisdom like mine!”
So busy you work! You are in a stew,
Persuading your Family of the structure so new.
All must be aligned now and check to the norm,
And all strange truth must gently conform!

Oh Absalom Peter, King of the Tree!
Who cut the cambium layer for thee?
It didn’t take much, just one little slit,
And the Bride of Christ for the system is fit!
Away with God’s sap, this sticky goo!
“The rule of our Law is the spirit new!”

Peter Judas, what was your hire?
What made you despise the coals of fire,
Which unknown prophets held out unto thee,
> From beyond Jordan, a land so free?
“Peter, Blindman! Pharisee!
You rejected the truth, from setting you free!
You were to make up your mind ‘til the cock crowed at dawn.
The hand of the prophets is now withdrawn!
You chose the lie, preferred your doubt
Once, twice and thrice and you are out!”

“But Lord you accuse me! I didn’t depart!
The People! I had the people at heart!
The charge you gave us would have caused too much pain!
To see the fruit of our works is far greater gain!”

But Absalom Peter, the Lord’s heart is distraught!
Your dreams of plush grandeur will come to naught!
In your long flowing hair you will get caught,
When you see the destruction thy methods have brought.
On your own tree so brittle and dry
You will hang by you hair and miserably die,
While the young prophets scourning pass by.
And say: “This is the man that made David to cry!”

Humpty Peter walked on the wall.
Dumpty Peter had a great fall!
All the Kings Horses and all the Kings men
Couldn’t put Humpty back together again!

2 Samuel 1:19;24,25
19 How are the mighty fallen!
24 Ye daughters of Israel, weep over Saul,
who clothed you in scarlet, with other delights,
who put on ornaments of gold upon your apparel.
25 How are the mighty fallen in the midst of the battle!

Open Letter to Peter Absalom.

Key Quote: Stand in the Gap ML 70. Par 32. “IT'S LIKE the King HAD BEEN AWAY FIGHTING THE WARS--the Crusades--and he came back to find his own city burning. It reminds me of Richard the Lionhearted, always one of my favourite heroes. While he was away fighting the Crusades in faraway lands, his people at home got to fighting amongst themselves, and some tried to steal the Kingdom away from him. And he came back secretly, too, and nobody knew but his most intimate followers.
33. AND THEY WERE HAVING A TOURNAMENT and all the famous knights were jousting, including his leading enemy--the guy that was trying to steal the throne. And in those days a knight could challenge a champion. And so Richard challenged this rival, although Richard's identity was not even known. He was called the Black Knight, because he was concealed in black armour. He was called the Mystery Knight. Only his intimate friends, squire, and pages knew.”

Dear Absalom,
A new thing is happening in God’s Family, among the children of God of the entire World.
It cannot be captured with theological yardsticks, and it cannot be regulated or canonized.
It’s a revolution of the spirit, the most spiritually violent takeover that has ever hit this planet!

It’s the rise of the prophets!
Those who are left behind by it and watch and observe our comet’s tail can try to compare what’s happening with their notes which they threw in the wastebasket, if they still find them; or they can try to comprehend what makes us tick by measuring us with their own standards, and will find us anywhere from wanting, to misfits, heretics, unlearned, ignorant, deceived, criminal, and horrible … or ridiculous; but it’s happening anyway, because we are the Revolution of the End, the Revolution of the Prophets!
This is the Rise of the Prophets, spoken of by all the prophets of the Bible, this is the Day of the Lord, the great period of reckoning and of judgment of the earth; and the prophets who are called to this job are now rising by the sheer and uncontrollable power of God!
If you don’t believe it, just try to stop them, and you will hear them anywhere from bark to explode! They will gently explain it to you if you are of the meek of the earth, or violently reprove you and mock you if you are of the hypocrites who try to preserve their phoney status quo at the expense of others.
We are the Revolution of the Prophets, and if you were with it you would not say “We are also Prophets!”, that is Miriam and Korah stuff! (Num.16:1-3) If you were with it you would rejoice instead of question and needing a bunch of longwinded explanations to help you reconcile what’s happening to your desperate efforts to preserve the status quo of your carefully created religious system!
We are the bruised reed of the Lord, his smoking flax and it depends on your reaction to us if you see our sign, the true humility of our bruised spirits, bruised and wounded by the mockings of the arrogant Pharisees of our former religious association, or whether you choke on our smoke and hold your nose, running from what you consider is our spiritual stench. It’s judgement time, time to get wise!
As you thought that your Messiah would come in the form of a Kingdom full of prosperity, acceptability and large crowds of supporters, so is he coming to you now as a Ghost that is haunting you, pure spirit that you can easily mock and despise, overlook, and reason and explain away.
And explain it away you will, and stumble you will, in the well check-listed darkness of your “Family International”- homes!
You complained about the “Marriage of the Generations” and watered it down, (None of These Things Move Me!CM/FM 3307par174-186) claiming to have a better solution than the revolution that God wanted to bring into this Family with it, and you came up with a system preserving compromise of so called “Uniting of the Generations”.
Instead of following the Lord’s instruction to proclaim the red-hot Marriage of the Generations, which would have burned up all generational differences and the weaknesses of each in the fires of passionate love and forgiveness, fusing an atomic bomb of love and unity which would have changed the world through the Family, you settled for the road of deadly compromise, for fear of your enemies!
Like Absalom you stood at the gate of the city and offered a road of lesser sacrifice, lesser risk, lesser exposure of the flesh for it’s incapability to please God. So you proclaimed that the generations could “smoothly and naturally” “unite” without “sounding and being so sexual” (par. 177) as you called it! You compromised to so-called “uniting” the generations, which froze the lethargy and rigidity of the older generation with the pride and worldliness of the younger generation, letting the Family go down the carnal way of all self-glorifying, self-satisfied religious movements. Now the Family International has gone “smoothly and naturally” down the way of all flesh, becoming deader and drier by the day, and more legalistic, insisting on forcing results and reaping the weariness of the flesh.

We are the Revolution of the Prophets! We are a work in progress, like a volcano! And if you don’t comprehend us it may not necessarily be because we are not clear, but because we are doing our job of seeing to it that those who claim to see are being made blind, having weakened their eyesight through their own complacency and being seared by our blinding light.
Maybe you felt all was fine in your life until we came and upset your status quo. Well, sorry that’s what prophets are for – to trouble Israel (1Kings 18:17), and specifically to trouble you, as you claim to be King of the house of David, but have stabbed the Family in the back, so that the spirit of David, his radical message has now completely bled out of the Family!
But do not worry, the prophets are here: “They that have turned the World upside down have come hither also.” (Acts 17:6) And if you don’t like our theology, because you think it doesn’t make any sense and is inconsistent and erratic, then try to make volcanic lava match with your idea of “smooth flow”. It just doesn’t work!
Theology has never changed the world, at least not for the better, but the prophets have.

David is back, and he doesn’t mean perhaps!
I guess we could spend a long and fruitless time arguing about how to let him take over “smoothly and naturally” as you seem to prefer, but as we might recall: that is not his way. He is a revolutionary!
This is the most violent spiritual take-over that has ever hit this planet, and you are simply put out of your job as of now!
You can try to pretend you still have the power, as you probably will, for after all, what would the people say to such an unreasonable and abrupt act of confessing that you, as well as the entire leadership of the Family International have lost the anointing of David, and have stirred the Family in a direction which is as far away from its foundation as communism is from capitalism! (Read Builders Beware ML 309 and compare it with GN 1109 Getting Stronger--Part 2 Par.3, 4, 9, 11-14 and weep!).
The Family used to be God’s unique creation, unlike and separate from anything on earth and you are turning it into a subdivision of system city. Abomination! Sick!
The Family International is as far from its original foundation as an alive moving body is from a dead corpse, that has to be held together with clamps and braces of rules, requirements and checklists to see whether there is hope of it ever coming alive. Even Frankenstein’s monster worked better than that and sure had more power than the lifeless spineless corps called the “Family International” today.
The Jesus People were a sorry story, but the Family International is the sorriest of all of them, having begun in the spirit, they are desperately attempting to be made perfect in the flesh.

You are herewith put out of your job, demoted, de-throned! And if you think you can laugh about it, it would only show how out of touch you are with the power of the Living Word of the Prophets. It only goes to show how removed you are from the goal of ever becoming a prophet. It is not even anywhere on your priority list. You don’t even know what a prophet is! Your secretary does not seem to know either, as she wrote us, it would take a revelation for her to even wake up to the fact that the Family’s calling is to be Endtime Prophets, who give out the warning message.

You are the King which David described in his letter: “The Tree”. By watering down the message of “The Marriage of the Generations” you have cut the cambium layer, of the Tree of the Family and it has begun to get weaker ever since. This message would have saved the Family and infused life into those members who would have been willing to live it.
You state that the uniting of the generations is happening “ naturally” (GN3307 par. 180), like it is already happening in your home supposedly, but is it really happening? From the recent “Shooting Straight” GNs it seems that it is not happening, and is in fact frowned upon by many.
Marriage is a sexual relationship, if not, then folks could simply stay good friends, like you seem to suggest.
But the last prophets in History are not meant to be simply good friends, they are destined to be a white hot fire of love for each other and a sign of total unity and acceptance of each other. This is the radical message of David! And since you and Family leadership have chosen to water this message down and not show a sample of it to the rest of the Family (ML3162par39), and yet claim to be the house of David, you have betrayed the Spirit of David. You are Judas!

Your sickening spirit of compromise and lack of courage has slowly taken over the Family. The entire Activated vision is a road of lesser obedience to the Lord. You sought for larger congregations and to be like the churches. Indeed for a Family stripped off living the radical message of David, this would be the next logical step; to begin catering to the broader masses with a watered down message.
You accused David of not knowing how to lead the Family, because he recommend that we send our converts to the churches. (GN3238 The Activated Program Par 11)
David always saw the Family as a movement of prophets, with a message so radical that it simply does not appeal to a broader mass of people.
A little seed her and a little seed there, a little slam against David here, a remark about how important CTP work is in helping people to “understand” us, coupled with Maria’s unwillingness or inability to rise as a prophetess to lead the Family in the true spirit of David.

A little here and a little there a little compromise here, a little preferring the favour of the people to the instruction the Lord gave you and the anointing is gone without you even realizing it, and someone whom you will consider to be as a barbarian and an heathen and a “Babylonian” has to come and put you out of your “smooth and natural” misery.
I always liked you, you seemed to be one of us, you seemed to identify with us and you seemed to speak for us. And that was exactly the problem, your love for us and our love for you began to become more important to you than to obey the call of the Lord to Revolution, to the point where now the Family has degenerated into a parliament with selfish interest groups and lobbies of compromisers who made their own standards and rules.
Actually all this would be fine and it is your perfect right and the right of the Boards, if it were not for the fact that you are still claiming to be the house of David, and for the fact that you are still trying to prop up Maria as the leading endtime prophetess.

In March 2005 we sent you a message from the Lord, offering you and Maria the anointing of the Holy Coals of Fire of Isaiah 6. You refused it! Maybe you never even read the message because you were so busy with other things, like pleasing the people, and saving the Titanic of your organisation, which had hit the rock of the Lord’s words of truth of disapproval; disaproval of the foolish navigation methods of Family leadership, comparing the Family with itself and its own channel of prophecy instead of with the Rock-Words of the Bible, on which it has now crashed.
Since you have disregarded the anointing as endtime prophet which the Lord offered you, it has now gone to others, even to those who you would consider babes and sucklings, who are now rising to be the leaders of the world’s last movement of Prophets, instead of you. Too bad!

Now all you and Maria have left is to nag the members of your church, like leaky faucets with a continual dropping of instruction, into some form of obedience to uphold an outer show of a lifestyle that has been stripped of its source of power; seeking to have a form of godliness, but you deny the power thereof.
A little missive here, a little complaint there that the Family is not “revolutionary enough”, meaning the “Family International” has not been able to keep up the appearance of “Oldtime Family Life Style” albeit undermining the source of power which must fuel that lifestyle: total revolution and dedication, as the radical marriage of the generation would have brought to you, and is now bringing to us, the Prophets.
You have a form of godliness but you deny the power thereof.
Therefore the prophets turn away from you!
Instead you have chosen to furnish a proud show of revelations of far lesser importance, some new spirit helper here, another hinderer there, worshipping God and the Devil at the same time like a voodoo priest, a little here, a little there until the man, David was gone!
The GNs have become like a polytheistic junk-food to lull your Family International congregation into the stupor of their inflated impression about themselves, singing lullabies about being the “Lord’s favourite bride”, when you have refused His call to all out revolutionary marriage to each other, which would have fulfilled David’s vision and readied you to be the Prophets of the End.
Jesus is throwing not only you off your throne, but also the so-called “Brides” of the “Family International” out of his bed! There are no “brides” in the Bible, only The Bride, who lives the full standard of David and who shares all totally and completely. It’s team responsibility folks! You have flunked the grade and are dismissed!

Hosea 2:2,3
2. Plead with your mother, plead: for she is not my wife, neither am I her husband: let her therefore put away her whoredoms out of her sight, and her adulteries from between her breasts;
3 Lest I strip her naked, and set her as in the day that she was born, and make her as a wilderness, and set her like a dry land, and slay her with thirst.
Zechariah 11: 10 And I took my staff, even Beauty, and cut it asunder, that I might break my covenant which I had made with all the people.
What started out as a movement of radical prophets, has now through so-called “restructuring” become a “subdivision” of what? Of system city! …where nice and comfortable homes are being built, with bigger more attractive windows and where the “citizens of the world” will consider moving in with the Family”, sounds like spiritual fornication to me! Filth!

Wake up Family! Smooth Absalom has contracted the Family to the system!
Is that what you want? Well, David doesn’t, or he would not have warned against it in “Builders Beware!”

Too many Members of the Family International are not soldiers of an endtime army, but are wretched, poor miserable, naked and blind, devoid of the true power of the Prophets of God, playing around with their spirit-helpers and hinderers, like the decadent Kings of yore played with their toys and maidens in their castle gardens, while outside a revolution was brewing which was soon to sweep over their walls and carry them away to the chopping block!

Joel 2:1 ¶ Blow ye the trumpet in Zion, and sound an alarm in my holy mountain: The Prophets are coming! let all the inhabitants of the land tremble: for the day of the LORD cometh, for it is nigh at hand;
2 A day of darkness and of gloominess, a day of clouds and of thick darkness, as the morning spread upon the mountains: a great people and a strong (The Prophets are coming upon you!); there hath not been ever the like, neither shall be any more after it, even to the years of many generations.
3 A fire devoureth before them; and behind them a flame burneth: the land is as the garden of Eden before them, and behind them a desolate wilderness; yea, and nothing shall escape them.
4 The appearance of them is as the appearance of horses; and as horsemen, so shall they run.
5 Like the noise of chariots on the tops of mountains shall they leap, like the noise of a flame of fire that devoureth the stubble, as a strong people set in battle array.
6 Before their face the people shall be much pained: all faces shall gather blackness.
7 They shall run like mighty men; they shall climb the wall like men of war; and they shall march every one on his ways, and they shall not break their ranks:
8 Neither shall one thrust another; they shall walk every one in his path: and when they fall upon the sword, they shall not be wounded.
9 They shall run to and fro in the city; they shall run upon the wall, they shall climb up upon the houses; they shall enter in at the windows like a thief.
10 The earth shall quake before them; the heavens shall tremble: the sun and the moon shall be dark, and the stars shall withdraw their shining:
11 And the LORD shall utter his voice before his army: for his camp is very great: for he is strong that executeth his word: for the day of the LORD is great and very terrible; and who can abide it?
You won’t and neither will the luke-warm religion of the Family International!

The Lord is asking me to tell you that he is spitting in your face! You are lukewarm, and he has spit you out of his mouth!
I thought we could do this more decently and I could have taken your pink little gauntlet and scourged you with it, but the Lord is letting me know to tell you that he is spitting in your face! You are a traitor! Judas! You, before whom David has been evidently set forth! You have betrayed him, and you are betraying the Family of God!

And if you don’t think that Jesus would do something like spitting in your face, then read the book of Malachi:

Malachi 2:2 If ye will not hear, and if ye will not lay it to heart, to give glory unto my name, saith the LORD of hosts, I will even send a curse upon you, and I will curse your blessings: yea, I have cursed them already, because ye do not lay it to heart.
3 Behold, I will corrupt your seed, and spread dung upon your faces, even the dung of your solemn feasts; and one shall take you away with it.
4 And ye shall know that I have sent this commandment unto you, that my covenant might be with Levi, saith the LORD of hosts.

Wake up Absalom, this is David Levi speaking! Smell the coffee! What do you want? The Lord’s Spit or your own Party-Shit!
That is about all the choice you have left!

Let’s quit grading the Family on the curve, comparing themselves with themselves! You and they are not wise!

History is about to finish! There is 11 years and a few month of it left and there is a standard in the Bible, which you and the Family International have sadly forgotten!
Try digging in the dusty lit trunk of your own home and you might find a Bible there, the long lost scrolls of the prophets and read! It’s time you wept and sat in sackcloth and ashes, and showed how to do that to your backslidden congregation!

The Bible, the book of all true prophets talks about a punishment on backslidden Israel in the last days, before the Second Coming of the Lord and about the Rising of the greatest and most feared of all prophets that will have ever risen! Well, they have risen and they are upon you, and David and the Lord are hopping mad at you!

Meet your worst and most jealous apostates: David Brandt Berg, and Jesus Christ, Son of God and Son of Man.

David Branch.

There is more ...

Dear ones,

This is an open letter from Mary Rose Shekinah (formerly Rose Schaf) to the members of The Family International. I have been a member of the Family International for the last almost 30 years and I will ever be grateful for all I was privileged to learn and experience and all the love, brotherhood and joy of the Lord I was able to enjoy with all of you, who have been so much more to me than ever my flesh family could be. Truly in and with you the scripture had been fulfilled for me “And every one that hath forsaken houses, or brethren, or sisters, or father, or mother, or wife, or children, or lands, for my name's sake, shall receive an hundredfold, and shall inherit everlasting life.”
When Jesus gave our little team the call to rise as prophets early 2004, we were very excited about all He was showing and revealing to us as we stepped out to put His instructions into action. We thought that surely such a calling would be joyfully embraced by The Family International and that in fact many, many members would also get the same call, since obviously history has to run its course and all the prophecies about the rise of the last prophets must be fulfilled. Jesus started to prepare our hearts though that our calling would not fit into the framework of the church The Family International and that indeed our revelations and calling would not be received by the leadership which was later confirmed and you can read about it in our correspondence with Mama, Peter and Ashly (will be posted shortly on our blog site: ). This utterly broke my heart. Coming to the realization (fully only recently) that in order to obey all the Lord had asked of us we would not be able to stay members was like death to me, since I love all of you so much and The Children of God/The Family has been my life for the last 30 years and I was an utterly devoted member. Yet the greater death was still coming when the Lord asked us now to pronounce judgment on The Family International. Believe me this was almost more than I could bear, yet I love the truth more than my own feelings on the matter and I had to come to grips with the fact that wanting to be easy on loved ones simply stems from cowardice, worry about reputation and love for self, wanting others to be easy on myself and is not real love at all but rather deprives those loved ones of their fair chance and thus make me guilty of contributing to their downfall. Jesus also explained to me the following:
When He started His ministry on earth He had his first mission in Nazareth, among his own kin and in his own house, where He was rejected and they picked up stones to stone Him. Only then could he start His mission for the rest of the world. Delivering these messages of judgment to the leadership of the Family International and its membership is our entrance exam of being prophets and delivering the Lord’s judgment and warnings wherever and to whomever He will send us. Obviously these messages will not be received by “The Family International” at large. We will be maligned, ridiculed, scorned, hated and prayed against as vicious enemies. “Am I therefore become your enemy, because I tell you the truth?” (Galatians 4:16) Regarding Jesus’ mission in His hometown it says “And He did not many mighty works there because of their unbelief.” (Mat.13:58) This implies that some, though maybe only few, did believe Him in Nazareth.
You, dear one, who is reading this letter at this moment, I pray with all of my heart that you may be one of those, who believe, so that you may also find deliverance from the compromise and delusion that exists in The Family International today. I myself have been guilty of much compromise of the truth for gain and reputation over the years, and if I found deliverance it is only by the skin of my teeth and the Lord’s grace. In fact my heart brakes when I think about Mama and Peter and if I had been in their shoes I don’t know whether I would have not also fallen for the same temptation to compromise the truth to preserve the status quo. God knows that there is still much purging to be done on me, so if there is hope for me there is hope for you, as long as you are willing to humble yourself and admit that no crown or place of service is guaranteed, but has to be held onto by continued desperation and awareness of one’s fallibility.
I love you and pray for you.

Mary Rose

Here is one afterthought: “Now this I say, brethren, that flesh and blood cannot inherit the kingdom of God.” (1 Corinthians 15:50) Don’t you think it would be rather preposterous to assume that just because someone is paying their 14% to “The Family International” and filling out checklists that automatically all promises made to the children of David apply to such a person? Yea, I say it is just as audacious as the Jews insisting that being of the bloodline of Abraham guarantees them a place in Heaven.

Dear Brothers and Sisters in Jesus,
A couple days ago you received an email containing 95 Theses on the Family International and an open letter from David Branch. There are probably many thoughts and questions running through your heads about these messages and about us. You may think we’re lunatics, out of our heads, fanatic, or apostates with a twist, and this is understandable, because you don’t know us that well yet.
We would like to state that:
We ARE NOT trying to gather a following or cult around ourselves as individuals. We are simply trying to let other individuals know that they themselves should rise as prophets of the end. Even if we wanted to, we couldn’t control the rise of the prophets because each prophet is solely under the control and guidance of God.
We do not have a personal vendetta against Mama and Peter, or any one in the Family International. Mama and Peter have failed their high-calling as prophets and compromised their conviction in both their message to the public and the Family. We love Mama and Peter very much and owe them a lot for all the training and truth that they have poured out to us and the Family, but compromise is sin and the Bible says that “Them that sin rebuke before all, that others also may fear.” (1 Timothy 5:20)
We are serious about serving the Lord and desperate to follow His highest will. We do not want to cut down anyone’s service for the Lord, but rather free them from Lethargy and Compromise so that they may serve the Lord in a higher capacity and be free to follow Him wherever He may lead them.
The Family International as a physical structure will crumble. We know this not only because the Lord told us, but also because it’s foretold in the MLs and the GNs. The truth is that it will crumble far sooner than anyone expects and we are simply doing our job as prophets to warn people so that they can prepare themselves spiritually so that they will be able to stand on their own once the support of their religious structure is taken away. Each indivdual needs to desperately get a hold of the Lord regarding their calling and their connection with Jesus needs to be strengthened to the point that no controversy can sway it.
We are not against the Family. We are the Family; the true spiritual Family; the House of David. The Family is a spiritual entity. Sadly the leadership of the Family International and a large part of its members has departed from the spiritual entity of the true Family. The House of David has departed from the Family International. The Family International has lost its place as God’s prophetic movement of the last days. This may sound absurd to you, but it’s the truth! Take it or leave it, it’s up to you.
We, as individuals, are bent on being part of God’s new move of the Spirit, despite all obstacles. We have all reason to believe that He is instigating and inciting the Rise of the Prophets of the End, the Prophets of David, at all costs. This rise of prophets is the ultimate fulfilment of all the predictions of the prophets of the Bible and of our Prophet Moses David.
We’re now going to try our best to point this out to you through sending you various MO Letters and Bible passages with our commentary of how they apply to the Family International and the Rise of the Prophets of David. He that hath an ear to hear let him hear.
If you don’t take heed to the Words of the Prophet David, who laid the foundation for the Family, you judge yourselves as having left the House of David. If you choose to ignore the scriptures, you judge yourselves as having backslidden in spirit. Then it is you who are the traitors and not us.
I hope you will read the following letter “Stand in the Gap” (attached) with an open heart and that it will wake you up to the spiritual state that the Family International is in. The words of MO are in bold and the rest of the writing is what I, Joshua Emmanuel, wrote under inspiration. May God’s Spirit of Truth speak to you and stir you to become apart of His new revolution; The Rise of the Prophets.


Much love Joshua Emmanuel

Reader's comments on this article

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from JudasChrist
Saturday, October 01, 2005 - 08:37


Stephen Schaff///

made me write an article (finally), on this ridiculous site...

How Black Metal!! haha...a "pagan" prphecy against..The king!?? Oh my...and Stephen...come write Black Metal Lyrics for

(Steven..that's good man!! haha..10 kUdos mate)
(reply to this comment)
From Argetlam
Saturday, October 01, 2005, 14:27


always nice to see the little nicky version of black sabbath.

btw, when are you going on American Idol?

(reply to this comment

from Wolf
Friday, September 30, 2005 - 04:13

This is the kind of stuff TF loves -- to demonstrate that anyone who leaves their flock of freaks is a demented maniac.

They would never publish anything written by an intelligent young person who left.
(reply to this comment)
from moon beam
Thursday, September 29, 2005 - 12:42

Every Family member should read this!
(reply to this comment)
from MY MY!!
Thursday, September 29, 2005 - 05:30

Eileen Barker, melton, Channcelor et al, I don't think TF will be dinning at the table of established religions just yet!

With time to reflect, all concerned will come to understand that 10 years ago, possibly even 5 years ago I would not have permitted any child whose welfare was in my hands, to remain with any parent who was a member of The Family. This grandmother has done a public service by exposing their pernicious practices at that time. But times have changed and so have The Family. They have come in from the cold. They carry some mud from the past on their coat but if they choose, they can wash it off. Then they can sit at society's supper table, eccentric guests perhaps, but welcome for all that. We must all be ready to welcome the return of the prodigal son. I hardly need to remind The Family how the son returned: Luke 15:21:-
(reply to this comment)
Thursday, September 29, 2005, 05:31

The above was the last quote in the findings of Justice Ward.(reply to this comment
from Big Sister
Wednesday, September 28, 2005 - 18:24

Reading this, I am reminded of the ways cults cook up crisis after crisis to distract their members.

I think that now that the Ricky Persecution is waning it’s time for TFI to manufacture another emergency to rally the troops.

Maureen Griffo, who is an ex-member of a cult called the Church of Bible Understanding, recently wrote an interesting article called “How could anyone join a cult?” I appreciate her metaphorical description of cult life: “I have heard life in a cult compared to living in a fire constantly. Most of us can invoke images of people we’ve seen on the news who have lived through a fire. When persons are in the middle of a fire, they simply do not have access to certain parts of their thinking that they normally would have. However, when the fire is over, we see them collapse and say things like “Oh my God, I can’t believe what happened. It was so terrifying.” They are able to reconnect emotionally to their experiences and likely will be able to integrate what happened to them, thereby dealing with the trauma. Cults do not allow you to reconnect. I was kept so busy and off balance that the fire was never allowed to be over.”

Griffo’s complete article can be found here:

(reply to this comment)
from lol
Wednesday, September 28, 2005 - 14:48


I don't think this is *more* fundamental than that TF. It's exactly what the cult does--receive wacko prophecies. Of course when a "prophecy" dares to contradict King Weenie and his slut, they'll call it "false."

In any case, it IS funny!!

(reply to this comment)

from Albatross
Wednesday, September 28, 2005 - 11:33

"The GNs have become like a polytheistic junk-food". I love it! They truly are the Prophets!!! Keep em' coming..PTL Amen amen amen. TTL! I knew something was wrong with Peter but I just did not know what. Now it is shown that he COMPROMISED. Wow!

But seriously... the more of these little groups the better. The more fires for the pedophile politburo to deal with the better.

(reply to this comment)
from steam
Wednesday, September 28, 2005 - 06:21

Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5(Agree/Disagree?)

I needed a laugh. This is wild. To think that as far out as Zerby and Kelly are they aren't wacko enough for this Stephen Schaff guy. Yeah I knew him in Europe. It's pretty sick that the biggest issue he had was not getting as much sex with second generation people as he wanted! However what I find hilarious is how many people in The Family are going to see how wacko he is, and all he wants, is to stay "on message" to what they were spouting a short time ago. He would have been so admired for they same stuff a few years back. And his "Jesus returns in 2016" revelation, Family memebers are going to shake their heads at being so specific as ridiculous thing to do, even though that is precisly what was happening our whole lives. I really laughed at the South Park comment of the meduims having a nanananana powers shoot out. It's so funny everyone outside of the fight can see it's like nerds with those card games with different powers. If they actually thought they had those powers and entered that entire world mentaly, when everyone else can see them playing a card game. The way Z/K origionaly replied giving them respect + correction, is a great tactic they found works 99% of the time. They show great patience to doubters, becuase they almost always "break" and then they are the greatest testimony ever to Z/K's loving ways. But if it reaches a point that they realise they aren't going to convert the poor soul they change totally into monsters dealing with it the way they wanted to all the time (I am just talking in general about their modus operendi). Anyway hopefully this will "shake some peoples faith" even if it is for all the wrong reasons.
(reply to this comment)

from beavis simpson
Wednesday, September 28, 2005 - 04:36

Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5(Agree/Disagree?)

coool shit...

time to sit back and enjoy "Prophecy Wars", I can see it now "Once upon a time in a galaxy not so far away.....there was the titanic alliance and a prophet on incest-overdrive". - Damn, let the battle begin.

I always knew FGA's were good for something, there is no way in hell an SGA could have written that.

Enormous prophecy paraphrased: If I can't be married to every girl in TF, then you're all false prophets. - No sackcloth and incest prophecy make Stephen Simpson go craazy.....

Proves what I've always known however about all those nutso FGA's, decide what you want and write a prophecy about it, cram as many verses from Hosea and Joel (damn I forgot they were even in the bible), mix with a bit of 1969 Mo dribble, and oila, one fine tasty incest driven sex maniac ultra revolutionary, suck my C### PROPHECY...

.....look everyone, I can do that too, better yet I'm riding my bike with no hands!!

(reply to this comment)

from Sadly
Wednesday, September 28, 2005 - 01:29


I must admit that I knew these people, Stefan and Rose Schaf, and can say from personal experience that they are pretty weird. Well, he is at least. He was pretty pervy when I knew him, a bit too much into little girls, and also very violent. There are plenty of ex-members who hate his guts! That having said, it doesn't surprise me that he thinks he is something extraordinarily special, he always did have an overly large ego! I believe this is DEFINITELY someone who would start their own perverted cult as soon as they could!
(reply to this comment)

from one who was in SB
Wednesday, September 28, 2005 - 01:24

Is this the Stephen Schaff who lived in Switzerland for years around the early mid 90's. Man, he was always bonkers! This does not surprise me one bit.
(reply to this comment)
from neez
Tuesday, September 27, 2005 - 23:13

The enemy of my enemy...
(reply to this comment)
From Nancy
Wednesday, September 28, 2005, 10:25

Average visitor agreement is 3 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 3 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 3 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 3 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 3 out of 5(Agree/Disagree?)
Neez, my man, you took the words right out of my mouth!!! As weird as these new culties may be, they are still a thorn in the Zerbs side, so I take comfort from that. Besides, the attempt by Zerb & Co. to legitimize themselves is really what we should worry about. So, if these folks want to fight that battle, by all means. Where can we donate to your ministry?(reply to this comment
From MegaGroan
Wednesday, September 28, 2005, 19:03


I agree Nancy, I especially support his idea of giving Peter and Zerby: "...the anointing of the Holy Coals of Fire..." LOL(reply to this comment

from clark
Tuesday, September 27, 2005 - 18:42

Can we find out who these freeko's are? He's just pissed cause Zerby didn't make it manditory to marry between generations. He's hoping some young sga is going to join his "prophets" and he can do her all he wants... thus saith the Lord.
(reply to this comment)
from Jules
Tuesday, September 27, 2005 - 18:36

Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5(Agree/Disagree?)

This is very interesting.

I recently read Under the Banner of Heaven, a book about a murder of a woman and a child by some men who followed a spin off of the Mormon Church. The book covers the beginnings of Mormonism and the basic tenets of the faith.

Mormonism, considering its' age as a religion, has an unprecedented number of spin off sects. The author, Jon Krakauer, makes the argument that this is due to the belief in divine revelation/prophecy that Mormonism subscribes to. Mormons believe that anyone can receive prophecy from god. Of course, once Joseph Smith realised what the ultimate end of that line of reasoning was, he limited it to only those who are "living prophets", but the damage was already done.

Similar to the horde of FGAs who are leaving the Family over Ricky's act (because TF taught for years that the problems that one's children have--whether medical, psychological or otherwise--are a direct reflection on the parents and no measure of sidestepping by Ricky's parents can shake the decades of indoctrination), the idea that god can speak directly to anyone in prophecy was also imbedded into the Mormon faith. Smith after all received a whole new gospel directly from an angel and his successors have also continued to receive direction for the True Church, the LDS.

A religion containing this meme is genetically programmed for spin-offs. With TF and their "prophecy" belief it was really just a matter of time before this happened. Their present dogma predicts many more to come.

To spell it out, if anyone can receive direction directly from the divine (a heady belief for an ordinary disciple), why would one need a structure or organization to work within? There are enough unbalanced people in the world (as we know, our parents make up a significant percentage of them) to cling on to this concept and believe that the voices in their head might actually override some of the things their cult says.

Yet another interesting doctrinal issue Chancellor could have investigated.

(reply to this comment)

From anovagrrl
Wednesday, September 28, 2005, 13:40

What's spooky about this is that the urge to get back to Berg's olde tyme religion is likely to foster more child neglect and abuse in the cult spinoffs just like the Mormon fundamentalists' practice of polygamy fosters more abuse than mainstream Mormonism. What I don't understand is TF's reproductive urge in the face of impending doom. Why have children if the world as we know it is going to end in 2016?(reply to this comment
Thursday, September 29, 2005, 05:12

LOL Zerby thought she could backtrack and deny the truth of they're bizzare/evil beliefs, she sure lost with this one.

She will have to make a choice if she goes with it she is fucked as alot of people will leave as they were beginning to believe their own lies ( the family is not so bad and is a safer enviroment bla bla..

If she goes against them she will have to give a reason why and what would that be? that too many children were hurt due to sexual abuse/incest and that David berg was wrong, so there fore she can't be anoited either as her anointing came from the condition that David turd was a reeeeal prophet.

She will then have no choice but to admit guilt and defeat and make her apologies and maybe pay the price.

She's stuck between a rock and a hard place !

(reply to this comment
Wednesday, September 28, 2005, 13:58

Isn't it something how they recognize that only the so-called apostates are truly stating to the world what Berg's full message was?!(reply to this comment
From anovagrrl
Wednesday, September 28, 2005, 15:48

I find that very interesting. By god, let's bring the kids up right and get them properly sexualized to service the prophetic elites! Quit pussy-footing around about the Law of Love and everything David revealed about our sexual freedom!(reply to this comment
from Peter pumkin eater
Tuesday, September 27, 2005 - 16:53


He gets inventive with the peter nicknames.

Peter pebble, Peter absalom, Peter builder, Peter humpty, Peter dumpty, Peter Ahab, Peter saul etc etc
(reply to this comment)

from porceleindoll
Tuesday, September 27, 2005 - 16:34

Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5(Agree/Disagree?)
I picked through Mr. Branch's comments on his blog, it's really quite fantastic. First off it seems to be a major prophecy shoot-out between him and Zerby, each one getting prophecies from the same Jesus that contradict each other, that challenge the other, and that hold corrections for the other. So weird, Jesus must be schizophrenic or something, multiple personality disorder? (Quotes are taken from Mr. Branch's Jezebel prophecy.)

"The Lord was also asking us to ask Mama and her staff to explain a statement in a prophecy they received for me:

(Excerpt of their letter, Jesus speaking:) “ I know you don’t quite understand why I would allow you to not get some things exactly right. You can’t understand why I would allow you to have such intimate and heavy spiritual experiences and then to find out that some things were off. My sweet love, you have nothing to fear, for I never allowed you to go over the deep end, but have carefully watched you. “ (End of Excerpt)

The Lord gave us a message in which he challenged Mama to specify exactly which parts of our messages were “off” meaning false! The Lord said that this message authorized by Mama, was tainted with spiritual pride and that if they would not explain this statement or take it back, he would call them “Prophets of Baal, for a lying spirit will have been found in the mouths of (Mama’s) prophets”. The Lord challenged that this statement showed the jealousy of Jezebel and was a derogatory, unfounded statement, aimed at squelching a true prophet! (Though unintended, I presume.)"

He has given himself a personal Bible verse calling, same as Berg did:

"He let us know that he had called me to be “the Branch”, a prophet mentioned in the Bible in Zechariah 3:8 and 6:12 as well as in Isaiah 4:2; 11:1. Jeremiah 23:5; 33:15, prophecies, which by mainstream theologians are accredited to Jesus, who also apply the prophecies regarding “My Servant David” to Jesus. David Brandt Berg never claimed the “branch-verses” as applying to him."

He also claims to be responsible for the tsunami in Indonesia:

"...the Lord was indicating that our sackcloth vigil in Brussels on Dec 24. 2004, in which we were to curse the Anti-Christ, and compel him to rise and to fill up his cup of iniquity, triggered a violent reaction from the enemy which resulted in the Tsunami of Dec 26.

The Lord had given us a message on Dec 12th 2004 that: “The earth is cracking and would yield up the spirit of the Beast.”, which was confirmed by WS prophets in the “Tsunami GN”. The Lord let us know that he had used our team of prophets to develop what he called the “Atomic Bomb of Prophecy”, a spiritual weapon of previously unknown power and consequence, and that he wants his prophets to be involved in his judgements."

I guess Zerby is reaping what she sowed--she taught the members to 'hear from the Lord' and when they do, she squelches it. This is exactly the reason why I could never get into prophecy, because of the lunatics present, and the lunatics in the making. How can we know the truth, when God speaks in so many ways and is constantly contradicting Himself. I vowed that I would never give a prophecy unless God actually showed himself and spoke to me in an audible voice. Obviously it hasn't yet happened.

(reply to this comment)
From thinker711
Tuesday, September 27, 2005, 16:43

This reminds me of that South Park episode where Cartman and the other "psychics" battle each other. nunununununununuunun(reply to this comment
From PopNFresh
Thursday, September 29, 2005, 10:58


LMAO! That's exactly what I was thinking. I guess it's confirmed that we are prophets through Eric Cartman.

I also love the one when he's praying in his bedroom to Mel Gibson after he realizes his true calling to show the world how bad the jews really are.

South Park owns all.(reply to this comment

from Solo
Tuesday, September 27, 2005 - 16:04

Well this is fun so we can all make our own cults?? Ok I want to make one too. Hmmm too bad Vandari is already taken I kind of liked that name. Oh well I will have to think of one I am pretty sur eI can come up with some good principals. lol
(reply to this comment)
from MegaGroan
Tuesday, September 27, 2005 - 15:56


This is a truly awful poem, his rhymes are cheesy and his meter is terrible. If God's going to start handing out poetic prophecies, couldn't he run them by Shakespeare first?

Apparently David's major gripe is that the leadership of the Family won't bully and badger the SGA's to put out for decrepit old men.

Note to David: Go find a pasture and put yourself out in it.

Note to Vandari: This guy could be trouble. Never mind the fact that he'll probably insist he'll wait till they're 18 before sexually exploiting them, he's planning on raising children in a vacuum and then taking advantage of the weaknesses he deliberately cultivated in them. Where have we heard that before?

If SGA's go along with him, we can't really stop them, however if he takes minors with him on his idiotic crusade, then I say we pull our standard blood-drenched morph routine. (Translated: File a complaint with the FBI etc...)

Does anyone know what country he lives in? Maybe we could get some persecution going. Never mind the cult angle, just this poem alone should get him kicked out of any sane country, LOL.
(reply to this comment)

From bibliophile
Friday, September 30, 2005, 07:32

The man's been off his head for a while now. Last year he was in Germany and Holland dressed in sackcloth publicly yammering in tongues and prophecying on the street. Frightening! Does anyone know Windy's passing back many years ago in Africa in his home. (reply to this comment
From JohnnieWalker
Tuesday, September 27, 2005, 17:24

He's in Cameroon.(reply to this comment
From juniper
Wednesday, September 28, 2005, 19:00

Isn't that where Keda is?(reply to this comment
From Gothsmack
Tuesday, September 27, 2005, 17:04

The meter and rhyme is quite similar to Berg's "poetry". Its to be expected, since saturation in sloppy literature tends to make people subconciously imitate it. (reply to this comment
From MegaGroan
Tuesday, September 27, 2005, 17:52


I know, it reminded me of that "In the Spirit, in the Spirit" poem.

"Mutilate your followers if you must, but please do not mutilate the arts." (reply to this comment

From Jules
Tuesday, September 27, 2005, 18:59

Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5(Agree/Disagree?)

I love that quote.

There were a few good lines in the movies we had to watch ad nauseam in TF.

I still use that one. Also:

"Same faces, same noses, all green"

"We keep you alive to serve this ship, row well and live" (I was a project manager for 8 years and it was quite funny to watch my team back away whenever I said that to them).

Who else tried Turkish Delight when they left and were very disappointed? (reply to this comment

From Haunted
Sunday, October 02, 2005, 18:18

LOL Jules, yes, I was one of those poor fools so enchanted with that cartoon that I snatched up the chance as soon as I could to taste what I found to be a foul and sickening 'treat' - - Turkish Delight....(reply to this comment
From storm
Thursday, September 29, 2005, 01:33

Where is that one from? "Same faces, same noses, all green"?(reply to this comment
From MegaGroan
Thursday, September 29, 2005, 16:39


It's from when Nero's looking at the crowd through his colored glass ring at the first big banquet, right before the "...a bit narrow in the hips" scene.

That whole scene with the wrestler and the bull fighting it out over the girl was real cool too. (reply to this comment

From Phoenixkidd
Wednesday, September 28, 2005, 17:52

Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5(Agree/Disagree?)
In the words of sir tomless when seducing the young girl to his lair. (Lion Witch and Wardrobe) "It's not quite far from here...there's a roaring fire, and there will be tea and toast and cake,---SNIKER"(reply to this comment
From Quo
Wednesday, September 28, 2005, 04:12


good 'ol Ustinov, rest his soul.

"a bit narrow in the hips" - maybe only guys would remember that one.

Wasn't there a "testimony" somewhere about TF ladies meeting Ustinov on a beach? (reply to this comment

From Albatross
Wednesday, September 28, 2005, 11:41

Nero: Do you love me Titulinus?
Titulinus: You know I love you emperor.
Nero: Then bear your breast to them...and you guilt.(reply to this comment
From Kirschy
Wednesday, September 28, 2005, 23:31

'Titulinus, the weeping tear for me, one tear for dear Patronius.'(reply to this comment
Thursday, September 29, 2005, 07:11

What movie was that from? It must have been allowed after my time.(reply to this comment
From roughneck
Thursday, September 29, 2005, 07:43

...what is "Quo Vadis"?

I'll take Sports for 100, Alex. :)(reply to this comment
From lisa
Tuesday, September 27, 2005, 22:36

Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5(Agree/Disagree?)

Lol, I can't beleave someone is as sad as me. I was so excited to try Turkish Delight. One of the major let downs of my life. I'm a bit dense, but is this guy starting his own cult saying the family has backed away, from its convictions?

I wasen't sure for a long time about where I stood on the family, but since coming on here and reading the reposts... OH MY GOD their nuts! How did I ever sit in devotions and listen to this stuff? Was it always this crazy? Its hillarious, how can you take it seriously? I think if I'd ever actually paid attention in word time I probably would have left sooner. (reply to this comment

From PopNFresh
Friday, September 30, 2005, 07:06

I tried Turkish Delight while I was still in TF. One of the adults got it from a provisioning trip, and I guess they decided to teach us a lesson with it. They made us all eat one (they are pretty large), and told us how the temptations in system movies would all lead to dissapointment. Then we had to watch the movie as our one movie a week, and had it pow wow'd for the millionth time. It was like triple punishment. (reply to this comment
From Auntie Patience
Wednesday, September 28, 2005, 17:15


You see? Didn't I tell you daydreaming during wordtime was wrong?

LOL(reply to this comment

From MegaGroan
Tuesday, September 27, 2005, 20:28


I love that Ben Hur one, do you remember this:

"You will be mine, like my horse or my falcon, only I will love you more, and trust you less..."

Only certain guys can get away with a line like that.

My personal favorite though is from Robin Hood:

Sir Guy: "You speak Treason!

Robin Hood "Fluently!" (reply to this comment

From lisa
Tuesday, September 27, 2005, 22:37

Its from the Ten Commandments, Ramses to nefertitie(reply to this comment
from clark
Tuesday, September 27, 2005 - 13:12

Wow, A cult even more culty than TF. Say it ain't so.
(reply to this comment)
From sister mary prophylactica
Tuesday, September 27, 2005, 17:27

Jeezus, Mahree & Jozef! It's like being more Cat'lick than the pope.(reply to this comment
from placebo
Tuesday, September 27, 2005 - 11:47

Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5(Agree/Disagree?)
LSD was invented about 40 years ago in the city I live in and the repercussion are still being seen worldwide.
(reply to this comment)
from Baxter
Tuesday, September 27, 2005 - 10:58

Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5(Agree/Disagree?)

One can hope that this ends in a bloodfeud with the whole rotten lot of them picking up guns and whacking each other.

Still entangled in Berg's mythology and rhetoric. Rose by a different name.
(reply to this comment)

from Oh My
Tuesday, September 27, 2005 - 09:16


If any kids are born into this new spinoff cult, I will feel sorry for them.

Does anybody know where I can see The Family's "Titanic revelation"?
(reply to this comment)

From Jedran
Wednesday, September 28, 2005, 03:17

It was in one of the recent GNs in which "Jesus" compared the Family to the Titanic heading for the iceberg. Some sort of reverse psychology or something.(reply to this comment
From Sharon
Tuesday, September 27, 2005, 09:21

Does this mean I can also rise up and be a prophet myself? My day just keeps getting better and better!(reply to this comment
From Baxter
Tuesday, September 27, 2005, 11:00

Write the fuckers and see if they don't send you the DIY kit!(reply to this comment
From Sister Mary Prophylactica of the Prophetic Id
Tuesday, September 27, 2005, 17:51

Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5(

Great Idea! I asked for the DYI kit, and this is what I got back from the central office:

  1. One (1) suture kit for my narcissistic wound

  2. DNA strands for major psychosis & early onset senile dementia

  3. assorted mushrooms and toxic molds

  4. delirium tremens

  5. 30-years-in-a-doomsday-cult simulation training module for Playstation 2

  6. Apocalypse for Dummies 2.1

  7. One (1) Heavenly City long-distance calling card
(reply to this comment
From JohnnieWalker
Tuesday, September 27, 2005, 22:08

Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5Average visitor agreement is 5 out of 5(Agree/Disagree?)

Damn, they forgot to ship me the long distance calling card.

... But I did get a 5-volume catalog of all 14,727 demon Yu-Gi-Oh cards.(reply to this comment

From Sister Mary Prophylactica of the Prophetic Id
Wednesday, September 28, 2005, 16:04

You must have gotten the Japanese edition of TFI's DYI Prophetic Ministry kit. Hmmph! TFI lost it when they started promoting the third culture kid thing. Not that I'm one to reduce this generational difference to a culture war between King Kong and Godzilla, but while you're canning for money to order your newest Yu-Gi-Oh demon/antidote cards, *I* will be slinging hell-fire and damnation from the Petronas Twin towers down onto the heads of the eternally damned Islamic infidels.(reply to this comment
From dave jones
Tuesday, September 27, 2005, 11:50

hey up! what's up?(reply to this comment

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Weekly Poll

What should the weekly poll be changed to?

 The every so often poll.

 The semi-anual poll.

 Whenever the editor gets to it poll.

 The poll you never heard about because you have never looked at previous polls which really means the polls that never got posted.

 The out dated poll.

 The who really gives a crap poll.

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Poll Submitted by cheeks,
September 16, 2008

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