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Getting Out : Inside Out
Cult member humour! | from banal_commentator - Friday, February 04, 2005
accessed 2422 times Is this supposed to be funny? Find the url here:
http://www.myconclusion.com/archives/2005/02/03/10-easy-ways-to-destroy-your-campaign-against-a-religious-organization/ 2/3/2005
10 Easy Ways to Destroy Your Campaign Against a Religious Organization.
By Jason Paone
1. Prey upon a predator
First choose the organization most likely to defeat you. Do some research; discover one with an excellent track record, undefeated if possible. Look for an organization known for miraculous protective intervention. Find yourself the largest metaphorical hive, and provoke it. Put a finger in God’s eye. You’ll find the results to be astounding, and unprecedented. Not even millstone diving will work as affectively. Your efforts will surely fail.
2. Bizarre/outrageous accusations
Stimulate your creativity; brainstorm as many of the most absurd, unthinkable crimes as you can. Once your brain is sore from mischief, begin to compile your heinous atrocities in random order, with as many twists, and ironies as possible. Complete your creation with a few “Cultist nouns/adjectives” I.E. Brain washers, perverts, child abductors/molesters, communists, blasphemers, etc.
3. Ally yourself with lunatics.
Convert as many weirdoes, losers, psychos, nutcases, central parkers, hookers, strippers, gangsters, pop stars, Janitors, democrats, salesmen, killers, postal workers, druggies, rabid mutts, drag queens, fools, anarchists, West Virginians, and as many social wash-ups as you can. Have them rant, rave, rally behind you, and do whatever is necessary to further your cause. The world will hear their maniacal nonsense, and you will surely lose any speck of credibility that you may have had.
4. The information super highway.
Make a website for your wash-up disciples. A place where they can fight, vent profanity, and fire themselves up. A site where apostates could entertain each other with sad stories of their suffering inflicted by a diabolical religious organization. A place where they can voice their nonsense and work hard to do their job in destroying your credibility.
5. Denial.
Demonstrate your bias by denying the validity of any positive credentials the organization may have. Stick to the negative, and again, “beef it up” as much as possible, allow the public to see your raw prejudice and they will be much less likely to place stock in your accusations.
6. Violence.
Violence is a valuable asset in your saboteur effort demonstrating desperation, lack of reasonable options, and in some cases serious psychological problems. Nobody listens to violent psychos, and you’re sure to instill fear and mistrust amongst those who may have supported your cause.
7. Ruthlessness/reckless stupidity.
Stop at nothing in your campaign against this organization. Ignore reasonable options. Attempt to rectify the injustice yourself. Make offensive personal accusations towards members of the organization. Piss people off; make as many enemies as you possibly can. Display your lack of respect with slander, and harsh practical jokes, or violence. Prove to the world that you are the worse of two evils. Bother and pester until someone has had enough and decides to put an end to your campaign, and/or you.
8. Bitterness
Sabotage the root of the campaign (yourself). Allow your anger to infest, and encourage your bitterness to overtake reason; the combinational affect will trigger rage, the infectious triad will destroy you quickly and effectively like a kamikaze, the world will see you crash and burn in your self inflicted destruction. Your cause will die with you.
9. Shun family and friends.
If you are lucky enough to have friends or family within the organization of question, deny association with them. Blot them out of your life completely along with your shame and contempt. This has a two-fold effect in destroying your campaign. Not only does it limit your diminishing number of friends, and people of whom you can trust, but it sheds a light on bitterness and the affect it has in your life. Your allies will be more concerned for you than for your cause, and will lose interest in backing your “grudges.”
10. Deny God/truth
Probably the most affective method of all is to deny the one who gave you life. To actively tear down the truth that he has established. I would recommend this as the most affective way to destroy your campaign against a religious organization. Don’t limit yourself to defying a religious organization and their beliefs and doctrines, but take the next step, defy God altogether. Prove to him that you know better, show him how he is wrong, show him the many mistakes he continually makes. I swear he’ll set you straight, not only will your efforts fail miserably, but you will become ever aware of his power and love, and maybe you will learn to forget your bitterness and anger. Maybe you will begin to truly move on, to heal, and to begin to grow again. To spend your life and energy to improve the quality of your life, and not to avenge your pain alone. This method will do wonders to destroy any trace of your campaign.
Disclaimer
These concepts were written as a humorous expose on common detractive methods, and were not meant as an attack upon ethnic minorities, social statuses, or professions. This article was not meant as a personal attack, or an attack upon a demographic. Thanks.
—Jason Paone |
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Reader's comments on this article Add a new comment on this article |  from Baxter
Wednesday, February 09, 2005 - 01:48
(Agree/Disagree?)
I haven't time to dissect this allegory of moronism. Just the sheer number of assumptions and erroneous statements in this 'humourous expose' is mind-boggling!
(reply to this comment)
| from BenKill
Friday, February 04, 2005 - 09:50
 (Agree/Disagree?)
Point 6: Ever think why a small minority of us have no options and psychological problems? Could have something to do with being raised in a cult!!!
(reply to this comment)
| from attention all computer people
Friday, February 04, 2005 - 09:38
(Agree/Disagree?)
so this apostate thing is getting a bit old and so I think that we should do the same thing to "apostate" that we did to "vandari." You know make some logos, pictures, whatever. If you think about it, it is actually a funny and ridiculous name. I mean imagine someone stopping you on the street and saying "why you're one of those vitriolic apostates." It's a stupid name and I think that it's time that we started laughing about it.
(reply to this comment)
| | | | | | | from xolox
Friday, February 04, 2005 - 09:19
(Agree/Disagree?)
Nobody listens to violent psychos, (really?)
Attempt to rectify the injustice yourself. (so there is an injustice)
Prove to the world that you are the worse of two evils. (what's the other one)
Bother and pester until someone has had enough and decides to put an end to your campaign, and/or you. (and/or me?)
Your cause will die with you. (die with me?)
To spend your life and energy to improve the quality of your life, and not to avenge your pain alone. (so there is pain, and cause for vengance?)
(reply to this comment)
| from Jules
Friday, February 04, 2005 - 09:14
(Agree/Disagree?)
Something to remember is that despite the clear mandate from Maria and Peter to participate in the myconclusion.com site, only a very small number of Family members overall, and even a small number (less than 20%) of SGs have so far. I have thought about posting something on the home page here saying something like:
Love & Thanks To The Current Members!
We want to take the opportunity to express our love & thanks to the vast majority, over 94%, of members of the Family International who have not participated in hate campaigns against abuse survivors & to those who love & support their children and siblings in their stand for justice. We are truly proud of those who also care about truth & accountability.
:-D
(reply to this comment)
| | | | | | |  From Jules
Friday, February 04, 2005, 13:49
(Agree/Disagree?)
"154. On Wednesday‚ some Family young people put up a website at www.myconclusion.com which is a platform for second-generation Family members to post theirs-and others-thoughts on all of the recent happenings. It's wonderful to hear what you second-generation Family members have to say about the events of the past days, and about your lives in the Family. We're very proud of you for standing up and telling the world how you feel. It's really great. If you have a chance to get online and read the responses on that site, I think you'll find it very inspiring."
http://www.movingon.org/article.asp?sID=1&Cat=9&ID=2581
Ok, it wasn't specifically telling people to post there, but the site definitely got a thumbs up from Peter, which is as good as a mandate for SGs to submit their "conclusions" as well.
Does anyone else think it is somewhat sad that teenagers are writing about what they have concluded about their lives? I was just as "certain" at that age as well, but looking back, when I was 13, 16 or even 19 I didn't know my ass from a hole in the ground. At 30, I still am not sure what I want to be when I grow up. Life is so rich and full of so many wonderful opportunities and possibilities. Reading some of these articles from these young people who have posted their daily schedules, the same one I knew so well (childcare, cooking, cleaning, fundraising), it is heartbreaking to think that they might have "concluded" that this is all there is to life. (reply to this comment) |
| | | | | | | | from banal_commentator
Friday, February 04, 2005 - 08:47
(Agree/Disagree?)
I find it odd that someone with no career, no job, no wealth, no house, no contribution to society, no family unit, no education, no health insurance, no individual thought, no fashion sense, no respect, no class, no freedom to experience the small joys of the human existence, can call 50% of america (democrats) 'social washups'! Not to mention the 20% more he just added with all the other demographics.
(reply to this comment)
| | | | | | | | | | | | | from banal_commentator
Friday, February 04, 2005 - 08:34
(Agree/Disagree?)
And now for a riveting lecture, a cult follower is going to enlighten us about Denial.......
(reply to this comment)
| from xolox
Friday, February 04, 2005 - 08:15
(Agree/Disagree?)
" Ally yourself with lunatics.
Convert as many weirdoes, losers, psychos, nutcases, central parkers, hookers, strippers, gangsters, pop stars, Janitors, democrats, salesmen, killers, postal workers, druggies, rabid mutts, drag queens, fools, anarchists, West Virginians, and as many social wash-ups as you can. Have them rant, rave, rally behind you, and do whatever is necessary to further your cause."
I think he meant how to start The Children of God.
(reply to this comment)
| | | | | | | | | | From Haunted
Friday, February 04, 2005, 08:21
(Agree/Disagree?)
Yup, good thing we allied ourselves with Lawyers, College grads, Doctors, Nurses, Web Designers, IT Directors, Marketing Professionals, Telecommunication Workers, Scientists, Genetisists, English Professors, Teachers, Office Managers, Anestheticians, Yogis, Carpenters, Construction Workers, Bankers, Fathers, Mothers, Travel Agents, Insurance Brokers, Real-Estate Professionals etc.....
(Just naming the professions of the few people I know)
I guess we're all set then dude!(reply to this comment) |
| | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | from Regi
Friday, February 04, 2005 - 08:10
(Agree/Disagree?)
Social washups?? “...janitors, democrats,...salesmen,...postal workers.” What in the world is he talking about?
(reply to this comment)
| | | | | | | | | | From banal_commentator
Friday, February 04, 2005, 08:31
(Agree/Disagree?)
West Virginians, are stereotypically very progressive. From there we hail some of the best and brightest of American ideology. Does the name 'Thomas Jefferson' mean anything to anyone??? Along with Massachusets, the Northeast always seems to be one step ahead of the rest of the country.
Of course, who more would be against progression, enlightend thought, and inductive reasoning then a fanatic cultist, hence the equating of West Virginians to druggies and social washups.
The cult always likes to lump all the systemites together as one evil conglomerate. Where else would you find people who believe that Monica Lewinsky was an evil Jew sent to get Clinton out of office. ???????????!!!!!!!!!!!!! Can you say "oxymoronic": okay, not to stereotype.....(reply to this comment) |
| | | | | | | | from Haunted
Friday, February 04, 2005 - 07:53
(Agree/Disagree?)
Ohhhh. I love the first one "Prey upon a Predator" - you mean the group is a "predator"? No way!
(reply to this comment)
| from JohnnieWalker
Friday, February 04, 2005 - 07:08
(Agree/Disagree?)
I guess we're all set to win then, since none of The Family's favorite apostates are doing any of the above.
(reply to this comment)
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